They Say You CAN'T Judge a Book By Its Cover...

and yet I always do.  I WILL buy the occasional trashy historical romance but NOT if Fabio is on the cover.  You can always pick out a chick lit book (a genre I generally avoid)without reading the jacket copy because of the fonts & palettes they use on the front.

Ahhhh, but they don't make covers like they used to, dammit.  Here are some favorites I found on the site Cover Browser. The website is just covers of magazines, games, comics, & books--very simple but thoroughly  enjoyable. It is probably the best site ever for mindless 'net meandering, because you hardly have to do any reading or thinking at all.  The pissah of it is, half the time I plug the URL into my browser, it won't load. It's sickly, that website.  Luckily, I am sharing a goodly number of faves (in the hopes that my smartass captions will suffice for a proper post.  I am ever so blogstipated. SORRY)  so maybe you will never need to peruse Cover Browser. Although... I did just focus on trashy book covers here and the website has quite a lot of comic book covers to explore.  (Parenthetical tangent here-- I am a wannabe comic book nerd.  It seems to me like comics woulda been a neat thing to get into..'cept I never did. I consider delving into it, but then think....WOW, there is such a long and complex  mythos for DC, for Marvel...and that's not even tapping into all the indie publications.  At this stage...I obviously didn't catch any comics ab ovo,  and it is just NOT humanly possible to catch up....MASSIVE undertaking, that.  So fuck it. ) (Tangent PS: that whole rant also applies to why I never watched Lost) 

If ever you do scope out the comics covers on Cover Browser, seek out the lone  "Cap'n Oatmeal" cover.  It fascinates me immensely.

Back to my looong-abandoned segue though.... Ahhh, book covers....not what they used to be, friends....

No sarcastic remark to be had here...just sayin'--I HAVE THIS MOVIE. Oliver Reed is in it and I watch anything (pre 1980) with him in it.  He and Alan Bates are my weird retro-active Brit actor crushes

Aaaghhhh--PINCH!!! INJUN SUNBURN!! How dare you steal my cap??

I was compelled to set this as my desktop pic.

One of the racier Harlequin Books, I'm sure....

Yah, some girls at the club will let anybody & everybody grind up on them. Slut. Ew.

these three are not so campy/pulpy...merely examples of good graphic design that I like

Odd book title...makes one wonder what the plot is all about. How does this cover relate? This first thing to spring to my wicked mind is : "C'mere baby, I'mma bury my banana in them melons"

So "Brokeback Mountain" wasn't all that groundbreaking after all, huh?

Are they wielding cheese graters as weapons? Who grates gorgonzola? Well you can tell by their attire that they are idiots.  PS: nonfiction factoid: I looove me some gorgonzola cheese.

Welcome home, HUN. How was pillaging today?

It was bad of me to laugh. But-yes-I did laugh.  This reminds me: there needs to be a word made for meaning "laughed against my better judgement".  Y'see..there are different words for different types of laughs. A "guffaw" for instance,  is sort of a boisterous belly laugh.  But there needs to be a laugh-verb for the type of laugh you do when you laugh against your better judgement.

I'm not sure I get what a train has to do wi--  Ohhhhh, CLEVER.

"....And that mysterious menace is gonorrhea"
Mostly I zeroed in on this cover because the title brought to mind Astronaut Jones, and ohhhh how I luv me some Astronaut Jones!!

Behold (and excuse the horrid quality )--

Not sure if "One Too Many" refers to girls or alcoholic bevvies but whatever the case I can tell by Blondie & Skunkie's overt scoffing that it has resulted in impotence.

"Ohhh, if I could fly.. I'd lift YOOOU up...I'd take you into the night, and show you a love..like you'd NEVEEER SEEN.." Oopsie--my bad,  that's "OUT of the Night" is it? Well, 'tis no wonder my brain went right to Soft Rock...that guy looks like an old mythical Kenny Loggins

Again these three are just ones that I especially like...

MUCHO Gothic....I dig that!

 

And THIS is precisely why I go by "Sandra" exclusively. So many distasteful connotations to "Sandy". Well, there's Annie's dog, for one. And it appears that human Sandys are even worse: loose moralled, inept buttoners.

They are SO hot right now. Not just for masochists anymore. Real Simple did a 4 page spread on Torture Gardens in their May issue, actually!

Yeeah, so  a lady in my office sells Avon on the side, and it doesn't seem to be half so adventurous as all this!! Either the gig has changed a lot since the 60s, or this AVON book is recruiting propaganda thinly disguised as a work of fiction..

I really do find that good manners take the edge off of burning mortal hatred...

It appears the day-glo orange valance matches the day-glo orange curtains, so the carpet, must...  ah, well, you know. Redbeard is WELL FIT, ain't he?  Hubba, hubba..it's not for nuthin' that the severed head was the last thing I  noticed in this tableau.

OH GOODNESS!! The rohypnol wasn't supposed to wear off until we hit Mars. Take a sip of this White Russian, sweetie...

Hunhh..funny. She does NOT strike me as the type that would knit sweaters for her dog.

LOVE and FURY, is it? Reeeeally? You couldn't guess it by this pair-- she looks disgusted and he just looks QUEASY

WOW. Ummmm..words fail me. I got nothin'.