This has NO CONTEXT...

...except for I heard some Bob Marley on the radio the other day.  And it made me think of this, one of my fave SNL Digital Shorts.

ick.

Yesterday, I left work early for a routine physical. I should specify:  I reluctantly left work early.  Now, that's a great indicator of how very averse I am to visiting the MD. You know I'm dreading somethin' like a muthah, if I would prefer to put in a full day's work.

So I got through the appointment with a minimum of weeping, and a wee twinge of humiliation. I shan't dwell on the former, but I will tell you about the embarrassing bit. So she came at me...brandishing  the otoscope. Peered in the left ear..."Ok, all looks good".  Peers in right ear...pause...extended pause..."Hmm."...walks over to retrieve an implement.....oh maaaan...

At least Shrek has the defense that he is an ogre, and GRODINESS is one of the defining properties of ogrehood.  Me, I dunno why I had 10 lbs of schmutz in my ear. Okay, YES,  that quantity is exaggerated...but I refuse to tell you by how much.

I will say in my defense, that I have a negative Qtip incident in my past.  Years ago, I was Nairing my legs one night and had a spot o' time to kill while  waiting for the Nair to do its thang.  So I did a li'l ear canal once-over with the Qtips...or cotton swabs...it's likely that I was not sufficiently moneyed to be buying the big name brand. 'Kay, cut to 4min later...Nair swiped off-- victory!!--legs like a fecking Rockette again. I took a wee cat nap and woke up about 30-45 min later with a non-functional left ear. Not only was it not hearing anything, it felt like it had been filled in with cement (it had not...my local Mr Sandman is not as overzealous & misguided as all that) A few hours passed ...in which I rinsed the affected ear with hot and cold H2O, and also tried stuffing it with cotton balls whilest applying my patented fix-all method of "ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away". Well, eventually I shuffled off to the ER. I vaguely recall the ER doc being (much to my dismay) quite good looking, and I recall having this dialogue exchange--


Doc: How old are you, again?

Me: 19

Doc: Heh heh hehh...we usually see impacted earwax in 90 year olds. Ha haa.

Hardy effing Har, Marcus Welby. Well, consequently, I haven't used Qtips for anything other than cosmetics application in all these years since. I do a couple head tilts in the shower, swish around the agua therein, drain, repeats, but...GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, I'm going to have to step it up some!!!

 I jokingly told my doc (after my initial exclamation of "HOLY GOD!") that I was going to get into ear candling.

bam, bam, BAM!B.A.M.!!!

I kinda feel like a hypocritical ingrate by dissing Books-a-Million (as I am poised to do)  because when they came to town, I was SO grateful and hugely stoked.  You can most definitely do your thriftiest book buys on Amazon, but there is something to be said  for actual, physical browsing.

Everytime I check out at B.A.M. they ask me if I want to be in their galldurn Millionaire's Club.  You save a % off on some purchases or every purchase, I don't know.  I just tire of these bloody GIMMICKS. My patronage should be enough to grant me savings!! But y'know, if aforesaid membership was free, I would probably acquiesce. But no, it's $20 annually.  I know what you're sayin', or maybe sayin', or maybe just thinkin' in your head, and that is "Oh, $20. a year is not a staggering amount.  And with her B.A.M. binges it would  pay for itself soon enough"  And to you, I say...how the hell do you know that I shop at B.A.M. all the time? You're right, of course, but...that's well creepy.
It's the principal of the thing, dammit.  If I resign myself to this gimmick, it will surely beget MORE gimmicks.  I suppose, if I  felt reeeally strongly about it, I would boycott the place entirely. But I know me...I can't manage that.  But hey, griping in this forum could really stir the masses.  I have a readership bordering on TWENTY STRONG! Grass roots movement, amigos.

Oh--it gets more ludicrous. It was undoubtedly the nutty generosity with the wi-fi that toppled the Borders empire, therefore, there is NO free wi-fi to be had at B.A.M. You get some access code if you have a Millionaires card. Bollocks!!  It's not just that this rule thwarts my agenda, but I think it must lose them money too.  I always feel compelled to drop a pittance of moolah anywhere I am bogarting the wi-fi, and I would bet there are a good deal of people who feel likewise. But  when I get that wi-fi connection kaibash message at B.A.M, I am NOT inclined to stick around there and shop.  I'm like "Lates, bitches. Off to Paneras, then" 

Stuff I watch when I'm not watching the Superbowl

That's right, I didn't watch Superbowl XLVI.  SSSSsshhh--don't tell anyone!! They will revoke my New England membership card.

I know it's trite as shit to post about what you are watching on the telly, but just for blog proliferation purposes (check out the concerns of prev post)  I'm gonna resort to that
  Let's do this in alphabetical order then, shall we??

 DOWNTON ABBEY (or..as my dad insists on saying--"DOWNTOWN Abbey")

It had really seemed to me that there was a good deal of hype surrounding the US Season2 premiere of Downton Abbey. And then I second-guessed that perception, thinking that—OK, perhaps it’s just that I’m especially attuned to such publicity. I love me some Downton Abbey (like I do w/ most things Masterpiece Theater...even Mouret’s Roundeau...I like nothing better than sitting in my wingback chair, rockin’ Rondeau at top volume, while enjoying a Calabash pipe . .. filled with bubble solution...or sometimes I forego the Calabash for a licorice pipe. Forgive me, I digressed..). But no, I was right, the US public is quite into Downton. . . suddenly…. inexplicably. I certainly don’t mean that Downton is not worthy of all the love...it’s just not this country’s sort of thing...usually.

So I have yet to figure why Downton has so virulently caught on on this side o’ the pond (inspiring at least SEVEN memes--wow). but I thought seeing it crop up on this weekend’s SNL for sure confirmed that it is indeed front & center on our pop culture radar. This more-or-less accurate skit I thought was pretty funny and at this juncture, I was going to embed it, but for some odd reason NBC Universal does NOT want that clip on the internet. I can't imagine why. They posted all that Bon Iver shite from the last episode ( I don't get what all the buzz is about that guy. I nodded off during his 1st song and that 2nd song he did I only sat thru because I was puzzling over which obscure 80s soft rock nobody he was channeling...it was TOTALLY Bruce Hornsby, BTW) The only thing I can think of is that they appropriated a bunch of Downton goodness without the BBC's greenlight. ..or somethin' like that.

Anyway, sans further ado, here be some of my DA-induced ravings—

Anna/ Bates--
I was charmed by the Bates & Anna dynamic in S1. Back then it was all sweet Anna mooning over resistant mystery man Bates with the shady past. Not that Bates was ever a bad boy, he was just mysterious and wounded (unsure that the masses could readily perceive the emotional wounds, DA writers threw in a limp for emphasis) It was a quiet burgeoning thing. That dynamic was charming. But now that mystery shady past essentially boils down to a PERSISTANT BITCH of a wife (oh, there was some stint in the hoosegow exposed, but that was pretty swiftly pishawed by Carson ...and maybe Lord G as well...I can’t recall 100%) And now he’s all “I WILL marry you—I swear it” and Anna’s all “ We will be together no matter what!! I stand by mah man” and it’s got an overall “Love shall conquer all” vibe and seriously, a little bit o’ that goes a LOOONG way. Not that I want them to fall apart, but just, y'know.. ZZZzzzz.

And—OH YEAH-- I *knew* that Vera was wormfood as soon as I saw that brief chat scene w/ Bates & Lord Grantham. Bates let fly – in this very uncharasterically hot-headed way—that he wished his ex-wife was his late wife . And Lord G was all, “Ooookay. Rage much?” And Bates responded “Please forgive the lapse in composure. It was a necessary clunky bit of foreshadowing I had to dispense with.” Ok, so those last two lines of dialogue were not actually uttered. But seriously, don’t you love it when writers BLATANTLY tip their hand like that? I do!! Well, I do and I don’t. I feel like it is often so contrived or lazily formulaic of the writers, but on the “pro” side, I do get a small rush of superiority a few episodes later when I am able to declare “ I *TOTALLY* called that storyline, bitches!!” And you know Bates didn’t off anybody, but he is going to hafta extricate himself from some sort of murder-accusation imbroglio. Also, I strongly sense that O’Brien is going to have some part to play in catalyzing said imbroglio, because this perked-up, extra attentive look crossed her shifty little visage when she noted the scratches on Bates’s face. And then later when they learn of Vera’s death, O’Brien makes that same ORLY? face. She not quite overt enough to arch one brow, but the mono-arch is surely implied. Well speaking of which...

O’Brien &Thomas-- This maybe DA blasphemy, but I say this pair is considerably more interesting than Bates &Anna. Both of 'em are SUCH rotters but then occasionally show these glimmers of humanity. And of course, this is key to creating The Likable Villain. O’Brien on her own is not terribly likable, but avec Thomas, there is a snarky rapport there that is entertaining.

And she also sorta made a connection with Lang . Yeah, remember the shell-shock guy? His was a blip of a storyline, eh? Is he coming back?? Did they arm him with a pleasant letter of recommendation and then just kick his ass out ?? “Have a nice life, good luck on shit creek, try paddling with your hands!!” Anyway, she was downright nurturey with Lang.

Also she has this very warm regard for Lady G...which seemed to suddenly spring up in her after she passive-aggressively made her miscarry. And looks like m’Lady is hit with a health crisis next episode...one so bad that it makes O’Brien crack. Should be entertaining.

As for Thomas....I find him strangely delightful. I didn’t particularly care for him in S1 when his big pastime was tormenting William & Daisy because those simpletons were quarry that was... I dunno.... both undeserving and not worthy at the same time. This season we got the humanity glimpse when he was in the war...scared shitless...and then he got smitten with that blind soldier who looked like a skinny indie rocker who later killed himself (the Downton character, that is, not any indie rocker that comes to mind...not lately anyway) So then when he returns to Downton to assume command, and he is ALL smugness, I cannot really dislike him for it because : a) you know he's *extra* frontin' due to recent heartache and b) he never did anything all that dastardly with the power he grabbed. He just had it, and was rather smug and smirky and maybe lorded it over some folks, although he didn't even do that too much. He's soon to start black marketeering food or something like that, but I feel that's a pretty mundane story arc for him and I'm not really looking forward to it. Let's see him get some lovin', or get in a brawl or do something hugely comical. This won't be drastically different from his S1 wine shenanigans will it??

Lord Grantham/ New Maid Jane-- I DO NOT LIKE the implications being sown here. I mean, does it not seem like Cora & Robert are SOLID? After all, they defy popular dormitory convention so's they can spoon!! Does that not speak volumes? If Lord G has a dalliance, it will be EXTRA shitty comportment since it looks like (judging from  previews) it will closely precede a big health scare for his wife. (Oh, of course extra, EXTRA, EXTRA shitty move if it's during/ after the illness...though I don't think the guy is quite up to that level of dickery) In an ideal Downton, they nip this extramarital bullshit in the bud. Like, NOW. Or, if they MUST develop this somehow, Jane falls into unrequited love, turns all Fatal Attraction loco, and somehow, thru some machination, Ethel is there to save m'Lord, snagging back her old job in the process (with a fat promotion as well, to be fair) Ethel was kind of a snot, but I do feel bad for her, and she was for sure more interesting than this Jane chick.

Yep, that's it, Jane will go 'round the bend and get offed in some spectacular fashion. Ethel comes back with her bambino. Thomas, because he doesn't really have a job now or anywhere else to go, has to become a full time babysitter if he wants a place to live. And...bonus...you get Jane's son popping into their lives around Season 4 when he returns from boarding school where Lord G has been paying the tuition out of a sense of guilt over inadvertantly murdering the lad's Mum via his damned irresistable flirting. And perversely, it's like having the son he's always wanted. Ok, before I lapse into nutter fan fic...

Sybil /Branson-- I keep waiting for this pairing to BLOW UP, but thus far it's just a slow simmer. I’m not averse to a slow simmer…if you get to see something develop, that is. What is with Sybil and Branson though? He’s a Socialist, she…she… well she certainly is not apathetic. She goes to rallies and -ZOINKS--she wore those dreadful (but pioneering) PANTS in S1, so you know she hold some manner of political viewpoint and she AIN’T playin’!! And they’re both purdy. I guess that makes them a logical pairing then. So yeaah, I guess his love for her has somehow sprung up and blazed into a mighty let‘s-plan-a-future-together love over a series of errands (mostly offscreen) that he’s taxied her around on? And she likes to hear him talk Socialism while he works on carburetors (again, mostly offscreen) Oh, though we did get to see him feel worried for her that time she got half-trampled at the rally she duped him into taking her to. All in all, it’s not much of a basis for JACK. Still, her saying “wait two or three weeks for me” is kinda giving the guy hope that they WILL make that future together (oh, plus I inadvertently happened upon some spoilers on a UK site that pretty damn well assure that)

So I guess these two are gonna go from 0 to 100mph in 1 minute (so to speak) and I’m going to say …I suppose it’s a plausible pairing? Well, what’s past is past, and I suppose the task at hand is to make the pay-off SO caliente that the viewers don’t give a damn how feebly it was  all established.

Daisy-- Needs to shake it off already, I can’t think of a more innocuous little white lie…well, it was a biggie, I suppose. But it was indubitably of the white variety -pure, dazzling, blindingly white. Daisy has always been irritating but a tormented Daisy all racked with guilt is THE WORST. Ugh, I reeeeeally don’t like her. Can she just be discreetly written out??


Edith / Peter-Patrick-- OK, there was this one episode where I kinda nodded off in the middle. I truly do love my Downton, but I was exceptionally tired on this particular evening. I see Edith suddenly decide she must master driving and shortly after she manages this I lapse into fuzziness.. .slumber…I come to and she’s in love with some farmer. WTF and , for that matter, where the bloody hell did this farming couple come from? But whatev…farmer man just  illustrates how Edith is ripe to fall in love with anybody who so much as gives her an especially cordial “Good day, Lady Edith!” It’s been some years for me since taking Psych 101 but I do believe that predisposition can be attributed --somewhat--to birth order. Middle children are great peacekeepers, but they are often quite attention-starved. Now if Edith was purely this big ball of needy twitterpation, I wouldn’t like her. But I do like her…on account of she’s shown a sort of capable, sensible, pluck that was not evident in S1. Maybe learning to drive tapped into her dormant pluck reserves. It’s also possible she was once too preoccupied being bitter to be plucky. It would be hard not to resent an older sister like Mary. It’s not just that S1 Mary was too fabulous to bear. No, it was that she was too, inordinately fabulous *and* quite the hard-ass. Yep, she was a TOTAL hard ass until that dead Turk in her bed knocked her down a peg or two.

Anyway, it’s a damn shame how this burnt-up con man zeroed in on Edith’s needy, twitterpatability and exploited it. I am thinking Pete-Pat was probably a con man because almost immediately after he was informed that his story was to be checked into…fellah hit the bricks. Add to this hasty departure, the apologetic tone of his note to Edith. I would think if it was the cruelty / insensitivity of his own family that DROVE him away, he wouldn’t feel that he had to apologize. But that’s really just speculation. I like that they didn’t explicitly reveal whether he was or was not the real deal. It’s not that I am anti-closure, but they introduced Pete-Pat and then hustled him outta there all so swiftly--it’s better that they ended with a sort of elipses rather than a full stop. As a complete story arc, it would be such a gyp!!

Oh boy, if that really was Patrick, the whole Crawley family with the exception of Edith &Matthew were a pack of bastards! I understand a reluctance to wholeheartedly buy into his tale, but they couldn’t have 110% DISbelieved him either. If that was the real-deal Patrick--what a miserable, barely civil reception!!

And, honestly, more power to Edith that she was right back in love with him as much as ever. Possibly it’s yet another illustration of how quick-smitten she is, but dammit, it’s still commendable. It’s not the guy’s skin that gets me…it’s that left eye of his. Or rather, his right, my left, but I might not be able to stare at him long enough to work out those logistics because-- EGADS! Then again, I suppose if I were well and truly in love….I mean REALLY in love now…

Matthew / Mary/ Richard/ Lavinia-- Now, even though the Matthew-Mary pairing is (and has been from the start) the central romance of this saga, I am still fuzzy on several key points. It was fairly late-ish in Season1 that it was established: he is in love with her and OMG yes she actually LOVES him back and there was some smooching and marriage was discussed. I cannot, for the life o’ me, recall now who turned down whom and WHY. And at the start of S2, that split is a distant, amicable thing and they’re ostensibly old pals now, and oh, there’s this Lavinia Swire. Wait-whaa? Where the FFFfffeck did this Lavinia come from anyway?? Surely there were some alluded to , off-screen happenings but I’m betting that most of these question come from there being such a loooooong wait between S1 and S2 that I just couldn’t retain the facts in my addlepated noggin.

But of course, the $64,000 question is why hasn’t Mary just @#$%(ing COME OUT WITH IT already? We all know the answer: they’ve gotta draawwwww this central romance out…longer…longer..at least long enough to make a Season3 happen. This knowledge does not make Mary’s emotional constipation any easier to bear. I do like the softer, gentler Mary of S2, but it seems like--in just this regard-- she’s lost her backbone ENTIRELY. I guess, when faced with a milquetoast as *deeply* drab as Ms Swire her pity is so roused that she can’t bring herself to do it. I almost thought than when her dear Carson counseled it, she was going to ‘fess up. It wouldn’t have been wicked of her to just write him a simply stated letter. No entreaty, no pressure, a purely informational, “Dear Matty, I just thought you should know, SINCE YOU MIGHT GET KILLED IN WWI, that I still love you. Best Regards, Mary” Nope…presumably all her missives pertained to the weather at Downton and how Miss Lavinia was getting along. Phoo.

And then briefly, Matthew was M.I.A., Mary was distraught, and I thought that at his homecoming (right on cue for his part in a duet, natch) would have her so overcome that she would blurt it out. NO dice. And AGAIN, back at the front he gets bomb-blasted, gets carted into Downton looking SERIOUSLY to’ up and she’s clearly upset and…nope. Nada. Clearly, she’s not gonna utter the L-word without sodium pentathol or waterboarding.

It doesn’t look good for Mary that he’s now getting leg tingles. Lavinia comes back simply because her undying love won’t let her stay away (forget that Mama & Carlisle had conspired to fetch her…there is so far nothing to suggest coercion) Pretty soon, Matthew will begin hobbling around, and *then* Mary is going to say, “Oh hey wait, I still love you actually” (Good timing that, now that he’s literally back on his feet) “And PS my fiance is not the simple slime ball I took him for, I just found out he’s actually quite a mean f-er” All very real sentiments, but her motives are going to look disingenuous in comparison, aren’t they?
 

--Grey's Anatomy--

These “dream sequence” type episodes can be kinda fun but also they're frustrating in that they don’t really do anything to advance the current storylines. The last new episode ended on a DREADFUL spat betwixt Christina & Owen. I mean, if you can’t refrain from top-of-your-lungs hollering at a friend’s kid’s birthday party...that definitely qualifies for the “dreadful” tag . It ain’t good!! I love O & C, so I wanted to see the aftermath of that fight. The episode opening did give a brief shot of them decidedly NOT spooning in bed (surprising that they were even in the same house, I thought) but aside from that , not much fresh intel is proffered.

My standing gripe with Grey's is --and it applies to this episode too-- Eric Dane didn't get nearly enough screen time.  He rarely ever does.  (and , no, I did NOT make that collage in case you were wondering.) It's such a perpetual show flaw that I'm not even gonna bother with it.

So the premise here , in a nutshell-- if Meredith hadn't lost her mom to Alzheimer's she wouldn't have become the intriguingly "dark & twisty" Mer we know and love.  Oh, and lest you underestimate how thorough and far-rippling the Ripple Effect is-- Ellis Grey's survival somehow makes Bailey wear her hair in cornrows and dress like a schlomo. Go figure. Meredith's bit in the alternate universe was dull.  But there were a couple bits I did like...just a couple..

I think drug addled, tatt-covered little Grey is a major improvement over actual little Grey.  She needed more than just a dash of dark & twisty to make her character interesting again. They should morph her into that in the real storyline.  A drug addiction should be easy enough to whip up on a medical drama, am I right??

I hadn't thought of the Kepner +Karev pairing, but that could be good. You know how good that hate-to-love TV romance trope can play out. Like, how great was Moonlighting, right? I f-ing LOVED that show. Now it's a known fact that Kepner needs--NEEDS-- a love interest. I can't even believe the show tried to pair her up with Peter MacNicol. She is too young and cute for that. Avery is the obvious go-to...too obvious...it would be a snooze. I had the idea that it would be an awesome curveball of a story if they paired her with Sloane.  It would be like the reincarnation of Rob Lowe & Mare Winningham in St Elmo's Fire.  That was the BEST part of that movie!! A Karev-Kepner match up would have a similar vibe, but to a lesser extent on account of Karev being a mere demi-god (vs Sloane being thoroughly & immensely divine )

--An Idiot Abroad--

I don't have much to say on An Idiot Abroad. Just this: If you're not watching it, you should be.  Unfortunately, I don't have the Science channel (which is the channel that airs this in the States) so I have to wait a couple days after each new ep premieres and catch it on Xfinity onDemand (side tangent: it's like Comcast has multiple personalities now with the Xfinity onDemand, but using the Comcast name for other shit.  Stop confusing me!!)

I just caught episode 2 where Karl travels the Trans-Siberian Railway and makes a stop in Mongolia.  It was pretty great but I'd been anticipating this choice bit that I'd seen in preview that wound up being completely cut from the episode!!  Whyever would anyone cut this??? It clocks in at <1minute and it's hi-fecking-LARIOUS!!

---Project Runway All-Stars--



I think my fave moment of that last episode (#5) was when Isaac Mizrahi was about to THROW DOWN over who most loves a jumpsuit. It amused me.

Otherwise, hese PRAS judges are yet to surprise me. I can’t always pick out the top & bottom 3, but once those are chosen, I can ALWAYS call who is headed home & who’s winning. I knew Jerrell wouldn’t get the boot because it’s rare that they eliminate for offenses of batshit craziness. I knew Michael wouldn’t get the boot because he makes for good TV. THANK GAWWWWD he didn’t win this week—though he still managed to have his requisite attack of overwhelming emotion, didn’t he? I thought it was funny—Anthony comforting him, as if Michael were the one ousted. And Anthony is definitely in the running for most graceful exit in PR history. I know I’ve said that about other PR designers (which is why I ‘ve said just that he’s “in the running” but not, hands down, the MOST GRACIOUS LOSER ever) but it surprised me, coming from him. Being such a ...uhhh, BIG personality, I definitely saw potential for tragic melodramatic meltdown there, but I guess this just shows...the optimism is *strong* in this one. And it’s a good thing too, because you notice, on PR All Stars, the losers don’t get the gentle hug and sympathetic “I need you to clean up your workspace” final mentor send off. Which really highlights how very inadequate this Joanna broad is. I mean, of course she’s no Tim Gunn (who could be??) but if she, at heart, gave a shite, she would make a stab at reproducing that bon voyage ritual.

I was fine with Mondo winning. I like him (but Austin is my #1 fave). I think Mondo deserves a prize simply for getting and keeping his hair in such a colossal Mohawk. Impressive. I think, as far as my personal fave that I would actually wear...I actually liked Kara Janx’s best. (and what’s with her having so damn much “game” anyway? And I’m not talking design game either....that fellah she accosted in the park was all sorts of twitterpated..) Out of the top 3, I liked Rami’s best. I did quite agree that his fedora was irksome—it was altogether too jaunty to be worn in a real-life, non runway scenario (except by the most victimized of fashion victims) but I DO hate it when the designers get penalized for little nitpicky issues of styling.

DEPLORABLE!!!

 

If that image looks vaguely familiar, that's because it's my tally of blog postings located oooh, about 2" east of this here post. Well, I'll bestow on meself a li'l kudos first...I've been at this since 2006!!  5, going on 6 years, is nearly ANCIENT for a blog, no? 

I note a disappointing trend here though. My number of posts is decreasing every year!!  Now that 96 for 2006, I don't consider shameful since I think it was mid or late July 2006 I launched.  But that 32 for last year....deplorable!!

I vow to do better for 2012. For me just as much as for you.  I have no wish for my writing muscles to atrophy!! 

Help me embark on the road to a comeback.... pitch me something to post about. I'll run with it to the best of my ability.



Tunes &War Paint

I just spent a wad o' $$$ on Sephora the other day.  I gave my email address to the cashier the last time I was at Sephora in the mall.  Consequently, I now get these "SephoraBeautyInsider" emails all the time.  Usually they are offering 20% off this or 30% off something-er-other and I delete it almost instantaneously.  But the other day I was reeled in by their proffered deal --free perfume sample with order.  Plus, I've kind of had a burgeoning yen for some quality make-up.  I have these kicks where I just, aesthetically, GIVE UP & totally go 100% don't-give-a-shit hagged out everyday.  But after a while of that, (2, 2.5 weeks max) I get very sick of it, and launch into an avid primping kick.  Well, one of the latter kicks kicked in, and I also recently read a Yahoo blurb about this chick Tanya Burr.  She was a makeup counter girl, doing shopper makeovers, and she started doing these YouTube make-up tutorials, and somehow that BLEW UP for her and she was able to ditch her retail gig.  And she got written up on Yahoo...and presumably elsewhere on these internets...
Well heck, if a picture is worth 1000 words, a video embed is worth 100,000. Behold--


She rather impressed me, and yeah, I'll say it, inspired me a bit. I maybe took for granted what artistry can go into slapping on some "warpaint" (as I have been known to refer to it).  Although, I gotta gripe that...seems unfair for this girl to be so skilled with cosmetics. She's naturally gorgeous.
 Y'know,  even in one of my more aesthetically conscientious moods, I've never acceded to a cosmetics clerk makeover.  I think if a Tanya Burr-type had asked, I would consider it...but usually the clerks pitching me a makeover look like evil drag queens.  Something like Divine, but heavier on the lipliner. Ha haa.

But I'm not just frittering away my pay on makeup, I also went  on a bit of an iTunes spree.   I go through phases in my listening preferences.  I have a smattering of every genre on my iPod, but I don't tend to listen to the whole spectrum at once. I go through spells where all I wanna listen to is folk, or like this fall, all I was really in the mood for was classical.  I tend to start jonesin' for hip-hop in the summer months.  Well I've lately craved , I guess you'd class it indie music.  I particularly wanted to discover new artists/ songs and to that end, I started listening to AccuRadio's "Alternative Now!" channel.  Good call, me! I stumbled onto lotsa great stuff there.  I bought a bunch of it this past weekend.    Like, f'rinstance, I am just SMITTEN with this song right now--


The version I downloaded wasn't live, but it didn't differ much from what you see there.  I usually don't like live versions of songs (not as much as the album version anyway) but in this instance, I like the live jam a mili-skoach more just because the accordian sounds even more accordiany.  Love that.
I also learned that I quite like  AWOLNATION. 


"Burn it Down" is probably my second fave (a *close* second) right after "Sail". The "Sail" video's not as fun though.  Also bought the tracks "It's Not Your Fault" and "Guilty Filthy Soul".  In my estimation, 4 stellar songs all on one album is a damned feat.

Well, don't let it be said that I've neglected the blog for weeks and weeks and weeks.  Unbeknownst to y'all I had a post draft  in the hopper dating back to 1/4....so that should upgrade me to only semi-negligent, no?

The nascent post was all about a job I was applying for in Madison, Wisconsin.  I'd only gotten 3/4 of a paragraph composed, but you know me...it was destined to be a rambling, neurotic debate...agonizing & over analyzing over the classic question: SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO NOW? 

Well, since I let the post marinate for a coupla weeks, I am able to FF right to the epilogue.  I didn't get the job.  BOO.  And y'know, I half believe in jinxes jinxing shit, and so I can't help but think that this rejection email (received on Tuesday...it was just about the warm& fuzziest rejection communique I've ever read, I'll grant 'em that)  was partly sparked by my resolution to TAKE the job if offered.  Even if I never did write it out, I did go thru all that debating, hemming & hawing etc.  But around Sunday I had decided, that if the job were offered to me, it was The Universe handing me an opportunity and you should not spit in the face of the Universe...particularly if you are hanging your head outta the window of a vehicle moving at high rates of speed. Plus, a very sage amiga of mine pointed out that if I took the chance and it didn't pan out, it's not like I would be CAPTIVE there.  So I said, "Fuck it, I'm a-gonna do it"  But then they said "Fuck you. Stay in VT. You guys have cheese there too."  No, no, no, I fib. That is NOTHING like what they wrote. They were uber-cordial.  No hard feelings. But who knows if I will stay in VT--maybe, maybe not.  I don't hate it here, I just despise my CHRONIC COMPLACENCY. (As well I should)  And so I will continue to search...

To compensate for not having any *actual news* to share, I am going to share instead some of my faves from my list of "Likeds" on YouTube (Oh yeah...I would be remiss if I didn't throw in here a "DEATH TO SOPA/PIPA!!!") and some original Monday doodles.  There were three recent Mondays --12/26, 1/2 & 1/16 --where I was working and everybody else in the world was NOT.  I acutely felt the injustice of this sitch.  When I am at the office on such days,  I really feel like I should get full marks for simply SHOWING UP.  Any actual work achieved counts as extra credit, maaan.  So on 1/2 and 1/16  I alternated little brief spurts of productivity with idle doodling.  Here is what I do when I am reluctantly cubicle-bound---



Add caption


Now a couple of the funniest vids I've seen in a long time--
 This impression is BRILLIANT.  A LeVar Burton cameo and I woulda been over the f-ing moon!!


That Mitchell & Webb Look  is a terrifically funny & smart Brit sketch comedy show...or I should say it was, as I don't believe new eps are being produced anymore. I discovered it in the Netflix Instants library, but if you don't stream Netflix, you can also find a lot of Mitchell & Webb onYouTube. This one sketch is a fave because I REALLY relate to Mitchell's character (the non-sporty boozer)


Some other Brit funnies...
this one QUITE ODD, but I really like it nonetheless--

guess this one is odd too....and I suspect I wouldn't even like it if not in that accent.  That guy at 0:32 REALLY cracks me up though--


Haaa..funny AND educational...


more by Peter Serafinowicz. Not uproarously funny this one, but I cannot overlook a Dickens shout out



Ok, just so you don't think I'm a total, excessive Anglophile, here is a FRENCH commercial.  It's not funny, but it's so cool and artsy and if our commercials for BK were this neat-o, I might even consider eating there.

Better said...

Though I don't regret my foray into serious matters, I do think (upon rereading it all) I could have put it in a more succinct, less raving manner.  Harry Belafonte made the point much better than I did, with some drums and some Muppets.  I love this song, it has always resonated with me ever since I first encountered it (the lyrics that start around 2:57 in particular)

The $64,000. Question!!!

WARNING: I am about to break from the generally frothy tone of this blog and get all profound and/or philosophical and/or neurotic. Definitely verbose (though, that's a given, regardless of subject matter). 
So...a question has been ricocheting through my brain lately, one that should be omnipresent, and I think it has been, but I'd heretofore done a stellar job of drowning it out. The question...

AM I A GOOD PERSON?

I'm beginning to feel like I've fallen prey to the complacency that entraps so many--that is, the presumption that if I am not an actively BAD person, I am a good person. That's bollocks.  I need to actively aspire to be a good  person. 

Ok..subsequent puzzler: DOING GOOD DEEDS = ATTAINING GOOD PERSONHOOD?

 I wish I could slap a unequivocal HELL YES on that, but alas, I am an onion of neuroses that overthinks everything. Yes, I want to be a person that does good. But what I really, really want to be is someone that TRULY cares more about other people more than I care about myself.  I know it sounds harsh to say that I care more about myself than I care about other people, but I think it's true. It's hard for me to say that it's true, but when I committed to pitching "frothy" out the window for one post, I guess I committed to brutal honesty too (blast it!!)  I have family and friends that I love, that I would take a bullet for....but would I take one for a total stranger??  I am not devoid of ethics...I KNOW that that's the right thing to do.  But would I do it?  Well, it's often said (of EXTREME situations like that) "you don't know what you'd do until you're in the situation" and that may well be true.  But honestly, if I was in that situation, and I did the right thing, I would surprise myself (if I lived to be surprised).

Yiiiikes, let's take a real life example that is not so horrifically extreme....

Though my ID badge at work identifies me as an "Office Specialist", I call myself a "clerical gun for hire".  Any non-clinical jobs at the agency (I work for a visiting nurse agency) I either have done or am doing.  Oh well, except for Accounts Payable/Receivable.  Have NOT worked that gig because I seriously can only withstand brief, sporadic doses of math (or I sprain my brain). So one of my tasks now, is answering front desk calls. Although I only sit at the front desk when the receptionist goes to lunch, I get a good deal of these calls all day long-- they have the main phone line set up so that any calls missed by reception ring to me.   A call I got the other day was a woman inquiring about bereavement support groups.  That is something the VNA organizes, but it's the purview of our hospice chaplains.  The chaplains have yet to post a centrally accessible calendar of support group meetings that would help me answer these calls myself, so how I've been handling such calls is just to take the caller's name and number, and assure them that one of our chaplains will call them back to help them find something.  And then I shoot an email to the two chaplains, who are always really prompt and conscientious about getting back to these folks.  One of the chaplains just writes back "I will call this person this afternoon"  but the other one is hyper-conscientious (about everything, really) and she writes back like a paragraph summarizing how the call went.

So the other day, I get this email from Sharon, " I called back Deb this afternoon. She lost her husband to cancer this summer, she lives alone but has some adult children nearby.... {not going to paraphrase the entire email but it summed up like--} no meetings in her area until February but I offered to meet with her on a one-on-one basis until then."  And this simple little email launched an interior dialogue that went a li'l something like...

• That Sharon is really good at her job--a real natural
• Why wouldn't YOU be a good hospice chaplain, Sandra?
• Because other people's grief / strong emotion makes me uncomfortable
• WHY? THAT'S TERRIBLE .
• Terrible, but true.
• You are too wrapped up in your own shit, Sandra.
• Everybody's wrapped up in their own shit.
• Sharon's got her own shit...her husband was just hospitalized with some pretty serious health probs. So she either: a) truly cares about other peoples' shit more than her own OR b) can put aside her shit and care about other peoples' shit. A is more outstandingly virtuous than B but in either case she's a better person than you.

But like I said before, I am an onion of neuroses (many layered, that is. Not tear inducing...though, if I've made you cry, please let me know.) and I even question the goodness of my wanting to be a good person.  I'm sure my motives are partially selfish..and selfishness is at the root of my problem! 
I think there are people--extremely RARE people--who by default, and in all cases, put others before themselves.  Not only are those people few & far between, I think they are superhuman.  I sort of visualize it as scale--one side selflessness...the other side selfFULness.  I worry that my scales are too egregiously tipped toward selfFULness (durrr,OBVIOUSLY).  Ideally, I would be tipped waaay in favor of selflessness, and I wouldn't even know it. I would just innately put others before myself, I wouldn't think about how good I was for doing so, I wouldn't have any images of scales dancing in my noggin, it would all be very simple, and easy, and natural and, and...well, clearly I was not born that way at all.   So now I can do good things, and make a deliberate choice to consider other people and that's great.  But....fucked-up onion that I am....it will always irk me that my altruism is tainted by a lust for personal betterment.

BIG SIGHH. I'm going to stay in this same heavy duty territory, but take a break from obsessing over my own emotional deficits and talk about why Eleanor Roosevelt is full of shit.

 "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people. "

I hadn't heard that quote before, but discovered it when a former coworker had it as part of her email signature.  I tend to not like email signature quotes, but only because I've never known anybody to rotate their quote. Just the same pearl of wisdom, over and over and over again, ad infinitum and I get desensitized to what would otherwise be a very wise pearl. Exceptin' the above quote, that is.  I don't know if Kathy's email signature attributed the quote to Eleanor Roosevelt, but according to the illustrious Quote DB, that is who said it. Kathy was...well, kind of tough to get along with...not just for me, but recollecting objectively, she didn't have a lot of friends. Before I started aspiring to be a good 'un, I would have dismissively summed her up as a rager/ nutter.  I imagine she was aware of people talking smack about her all the time, and that is why she so liked that quote.
Eleanor, though,  was condemning gossip...I think.  Truthfully, I only know a smattering of US history, but I think I do recall that ol' FDR was a bit of a rake in his pre-polio days.  And infidelity is primo gossip fodder, as y'all know.

Well, sorry Eleanor, gossip is not all  bad, and your famous quote is shite. Ideas?  What good are ideas unless they somehow relate to PEOPLE? Events spring from things that PEOPLE do. To me, that quote is shit, because people are the best and ONLY thing to talk about.  There is, for certain, an element of schadenfreude in gossip that is not to be commended.  But, at least if you are gossiping, you are taking an interest in people around you.  Yes, I worry about my selfishness level because I worry about the health of my personal soul.  But I also feel like my issues are a microcosm of a huge societal defect. I return to my earlier thought: EVERYONE IS WRAPPED UP IN THEIR OWN SHIT -- it's a big generalization, so not 100% accurate. But it's pretty much everyone, right?  We would have to be some sort of  amazing cyborg-saint society if everybody is willing to take a bullet for everybody else.
But I'm not hoping for such drastic measures...  It's as simple as looking at someone on the street and really wondering, "Who are they? What is their story?"  I mean it's a simple thing, but so huge.  And maybe it's all in MY head, but I get the feeling lately that people aren't doing that enough. That people are isolated. And to make with more specific examples (and I hate to disparage my own kin in doing so) my sister was encouraging my nieces & nephew to talk at the dinner table about their day at school. And my oldest niece and nephew were just spouting off about all the kids in their class that were "stupid" and "weird" and "gross".  My sister told them to "quit the negativity".  But me,  I had to open my big yapper and elaborate "You should always remember that people have troubles that you might have no idea about.  You should consider that before you call them stupid and gross" Yeah, yeah, I know-- even as I was saying it, I was gagging at how preachy it sounded.  And I'm a big hypocrite too.  Of course, I was the very same way as a kid.  And really, I'm the very same today except now I will reproach myself after my snap judgments about 50% of the time.  I know it's a dreary thought, to think "Everyone I see is somehow, secretly struggling." It's a hell of a downer.  But I feel like if people were able to be mindful of that truth, than we could reduce some of the judgement and anger and envy that pollutes life.  Criiikey, I make compassion sound like such a maaassive effort, don't I?  I wonder if that makes me compassion-challenged or just jaded ? Let's just hope that I'm jaded without cause, that my seeing everywhere this epidemic of selfishness is just me trying to write off my own selfishness as societally inevitable.

I don't know what brought this mindset on, but it could just simply be the time of year.  I suppose all this ranting could just boil down to the  Christmas cliche of wishing for "Peace on Earth and Good Will to Men".  Except that I really, really mean it, and I've dissected the hell out of it.

Bow Wow Wow yippy yo yippy yay

This is the latest addition to my family--is he not ADORBS??  He's not quite mine (I cannot have one in my lame-ass apartment) rather he is the doggy I've been harping on my sister to get for aaaaages ("I can't believe your kids are growing up without a dog. You are a BAD MOTHER.") Well, I wasn't nagging her specifically to get this very Yellow lab-Golden retriever mix, but I've just wanted her to get a dog in general.  

I came over the Sunday they got him and immediately was solicited for my best name suggestions. Of course, I had input, but  the debate was fierce and I didn't particulary want to throw myself into the fray. 

The first name to spring to mind, after gazing at this sweet punum, was Henry. I think it fits him quite well, but of course, no unanimous support could be found (though my sis liked it lots..that was her top pick)  More brainstorming ensued.... someone tossed off "Duke" and Seth really liked that one.  Duke is a pretty cute name, albeit a tad trite.  But this dog looks nothing like a "Duke" .  I know the most famousest doggy Duke--Duke Bush-- is a golden, but he doesn't look like a Duke either. Oh, also he is a duplicitous bastard of a pet, so there's another fine reason to veto that name option.

I thought we should look to U.S. Presidents of yore for inspiration.  I often do this when naming things and tend to find anybody FDR or earlier  to be interesting (not sure why the more recent prezzes bore me, but they do).  So, in this vein, Laura said "Woodrow?"  Now, even though I get the distinct impression that Woodrow Wilson had a colossal stick up his ass, his first name is , nonetheless, all sorts of awesome.  I declare it the BEST dog name ever!! You can be all cas. with him and call him "Woody" and if he drops a deuce on the carpet, it's "Wood-DROW!!" Ohh, and additionally it has connotations (in my mind, anyway) of curmudgeonly but adorable cowboys because of Tommy Lee Jones's portrayal of Woodrow Call in 1989's Lonesome Dove. Yeah, I said it: Tommy Lee Jones is adorable. I STAND BY THIS ASSESSMENT!!

Well, amigos, you have my express written permission here to utilize my #1 top dog name because they didn't go for that either.  The kids rather hated it.  (Again, Laura and I were pretty simpatico on our faves)  We settled on Bo. Or Beau. Chloe *insists* it is spelled the latter way. I don't see why the spelling matters too terribly much, because how often are they gonna see it in print? Probably just on postcards from the vet. It's not like this is a bonafide, with PAPERS show dog.  Crikey, that would have been an EPIC battle--if they'd had to come up with one of those ridicu-long show dog names. Pemberton's Incredibly Posh Beau of the Cypress Glade  or some such shite, y'know?    Though they did give him a middle name....Duke...a nod to the name Seth had his heart set on.  And yes, we did make the Dukes of Hazzard connection (OF COURSE! Um, have you met me?).  It's kinda cute, naming this pale pup after one of the blondest organisms ever to draw breath.  I was always more of a Luke Duke devotee, personally, but it's still pretty cute.

sing it, Rosie!!

I was really in a black mood this past Sunday and Monday.  I can't quite say why ...perhaps my "humors" got all imbalanced.  I mean, I for sure have my issues, but they are all pretty much longstanding issues.  I didn't get any *new* ones thrown into the mix recently.  It's just that, I have this fundamental sense that the world is a good place and I am a good person and that sense helps me handle aforementioned issues.  And then , on Sunday, all of a sudden, I could tell myself that, (world=good/ me=good) and rationally agreed with it, but I just was not at all feelin' it.  And I exacerbated the whole thing by dwelling on it, although in my defense, I am inescapably doomed to dwell.  Aren't we all?  Or maybe it's just me...  it plays out thusly : I start dwelling--questioning WTF is up with me, trying to dredge up a bit o' happiness, failing at that, then asking: but am I feeling better now? Maybe incrementally better? Hmmm..no. How 'bout now?Now?  Then part of me realizes: the only thing to do is to go on auto pilot, stop obsessing, put it out of your head. It will simply hit you  at some point that --hey, the overhead cloud is gone and you gave it the slip without even trying...without even noticing.   All very sage counsel, but in summation I instruct myself: DO NOT OBSESS.  Is there anything more condusive to obsessing than that, I wonder??

I was right of course...  Yesterday (Tues) I was driving. It was sunny. I was singing along top volume to "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz and ...Oh hey...I'm happy now.  That's how it goes.  But Sunday and Monday I was really trying to FORCE it.  And I was thinking on Monday.. I think what would really help is if I had a good cry.   But try as I might, I couldn't.  Yep, down in the dumpiest depths of the proverbial dumps and I couldn't muster any tears.  Oh, wait--that's not true.  I squeezed one lone trickle out of my right eye and I think that was from multiple big yawns in rapid succession. 

I got to wondering about it--- how did this notion of the "good cry" evolve? (that was, believe it or not, the intended focus of my post before I got carried away with neurotic blathering. Criiiiiikey-- I don't mean for this blog to be a cheap-o therapy alternative)  How is a cry "good" for you?  Now, from my own personal experience, I have found this to be true.  I have felt the...après-sob calm kick in. But *WHYYYY* is that?  It's weird to me-- that your troubles and sorrows can pain you less  just because some amount of fluid has seeped out of your eyes.  Heyyy--(*idea lightbulb*) perhaps it is not the eye leakage but the nasal output that makes things better. It just so happens that many of my "good cries" involve the snot in my noggin fwoooshing forth like the water at Splash Mtn.

Oh, I'm sure there's some dull, science-y reading that would enlighten me ...blah blah blah hormones...endorphines...yadda yadda (can you tell I'm not much of a science buff??)  But I am opting to give credit to Marlo Thomas, Rosie Grier, and a little film called "Free to be You & Me"  It was well over 20 yrs ago, but I still recall being introduced to this in my formative years---

critters

I usually don't go all out cooking for just li'l ol' me, but I  was going to make a delish  BLT for my dinner the other night. Ahhh, but the best laid schemes of mice & men go oft askew, am I right??

 I had my tomatoes sliced & spiced, lettuce washed and bacon starting to fry up in the pan. I got the bread outta the fridge, and I slid the toaster forward on the counter in preparation for plugging it in and toasting...
The commotion of toaster relocation startled A RODENT and caused him to run across the back of my stovetop. I know that brave, level-headed people always say of mousies: "They’re more scared of you than you are of them" I really can’t imagine that my shifting the toaster 11 inches was too awfully terrifying for the critter....however  I think probably the BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM that I let out when I saw him did frighten him a bit. It is a damn good thing my landlords were out because this scream was such that any hearer would  instantly call 911 and/or a priest. There would be no response of "YIKES—izzat screaming person ok??"--all bystanders would  just  presume that the situation was too horrific to be attended to by laypeople. You could hear the bowels-loosening terror.
So anyway, after that, I didn’t want to stand there and cook. I threw the semi-cooked bacon in a glass bowl and put it in the fridge, rebagged the bread and threw that in the fridge, threw the frying pan in the sink, shut off the burner, and I really was *throwing* shit around because I wanted to be out of that quadrant of the apartment as quickly as possible. My abode has the added disadvantage of having that very open layout which denies me the small comfort of shutting any doors between me and the vermin....unless I wanted to shut myself in the bathroom but I was not about to let one distasteful encounter make me miss my Wednesday night shows.
So on the menu for dinner that night?? I had tomatoes and lettuce and Diet Coke...also Nerds... I could fetch my box of Nerds from the kitchen without lingering extensively. So the largest part of last night’s fare was Nerds. Yes, yes, it DOES serve me right for being such a colossal candyass.


Oh! if only they were as adorable as they appear in kid's books!! Is it VERY wicked of me that I'm gonna stock up on D-Con?



The following night, I came home from dinner out with a pal, and started hoofing it up the back steps and almost ran into--literally--a raccoon who was assessing the trash can situation on my balcony.  Now at this encounter I said "WUUH-AHH!" (pretty much verbatim, that)  which sounds wussy but it was not nearly so  terror-laden as my mouse scream.  It had a little burst of force behind it, but it was not *too* loud.  It was similar in tone, really, to one of  the nonsensical exclamations James Brown peppered his songs with. "Gooo GAWD y'all!" 
After my "WUUH-AHH!" I retreated down the steps back to my car.  I paused...he looked like he clearly wanted to leave my presence, though it  occurred to me if he crawled down the stairs we would pass on the stairs as I re-ascended.  I called up to him "Hey you, you get off my deck wouldja? C'mon dude!!"  coming off all calm and amicable all of a sudden.  He hopped down to the roof of the carport and we locked eyes.  I like to think, in that moment, we had a little telepathic exchange --
ME: Going forward, don't even try it, buddy.  I tie down my can lids pretty tightly.
ROCKY: No worries. *I* will trouble you no further, but I cannot vouch for my woodland associates.

Not sure why I was so much more threatened by a 2" mouse than by a raccoon.  I am going to posit that I was more alert upon returning home (having just been driving) and in the kitchen I was less alert (less alert = more startleable) as I was in an "Mmmm BACON" trance.  That, or... I just irrationally fear mice more than I do raccoons.





I wonder what I would do if I happened upon a  streaked tenrec??  I did happen upon one online today, and found him temporarily fascinating.  I don't know if I'd have the same response to an in-person meeting.
The creature in question (native of Madagascar)---

Wall Flair II

Sometimes I find myself inordinately amused by the bizarro  WTF??? factor of an action. My work comrade Paul and I were email bantering one time, and the topic du jour was blaxploitation cinema (we have a wondrous variety of email subject matter)  He alerted me to a SPECTACULARLY BAD movie poster and in response, I proposed the hilarious notion  of buying a HUGE print of this poster and taking great care to frame it nicely and then hanging it in a place of prominence in one's living room.  I don't know why, but the thought cracks me up.  Well, of course I'm gonna make w/ the visual aid--

I wonder if Roxanne would have fawned over THIS for a housewarming gift??   I think what I *most* love is that line of copy : "NOW you are ready for Mandingo" 

Oh, and here is a poster that I really would genuinely like to hang on my wall. Vinnie Price is the COOLEST.

This reminds me to remind you--NOW is the time of year to start with your Vincent Price movie marathons.  I streamed "Theater of Blood" on Netflix on Saturday night.  I only managed to get about 1/2 way thru it though.  The movie was decent, but the sound quality was AWFUL.  I had the sound on my laptop turned up all the way and so was the volume on the Netflix player, but I was still missing bits. I felt like my Dad without his hearing aids. NOT enjoyable.

Wall Flair

My friend Roxanne just moved into a new house (well. . . new to her ) in mid-August. We met up for lunch a couple weeks later, and I wanted to give her a little housewarming somethin-somethin. I didn't know of anything she really needed ..this wasn't a first house for her or anything.

I decided to make her some art. Nothing so creative as like, what you see on those HGTV shows where they enlist the aid of their carpentry team, get out in the yard with a 4ft wide canvas, and paint rollers. Muuuuuuch smaller scale, much less effort, but she seemed to like it. I got a couple of cheap frames at the Dollar General and I printed out some art from The Athenaeum and framed them. I actually printed out a lot more than I framed, but I wound up giving Rox all the print outs in case she didn't agree with my picks for the best-of-the-best/ most frameworthy. Anyway, it worked out well..particularly with my ever-present budget constraints. I also think it's a good idea for those people you know whose lives seem to be overflowing with gadgets and trinkets and tchotchkes...those ones that demurr "Oh I REALLY don't need anything!!" (and it's true) . Usually even they can find a 8"x 10" patch of real estate on the wall..unless they've already done their abode up like an Applebees, that is.
Here is the art I picked out. I was trying to do a home & garden theme (Rox is an avid gardener--I do believe she loves her 10 acres & gardens even more than she likes the new house).

I was digging around the internet for nice art for this project and I suddenly was struck by a memory... a ubiquitous bit of mass produced art that I'd seen in umpteen mobile home living rooms throughout my formative years. Not limited exclusively to mobile homes as my uncle still has this hanging in his dining room--of his modified Cape (not my cup o' tea, his house, but it's for certain an immobile home) Anyways the scraps floating through my mind's eye was a shady area with very red water mill, boy fishing, additional boy or girl skipping rocks. I was thinking it would be amusing, in a kitschy sort of way, to print that and give it to Roxanne, but I quickly dismissed the idea because she just doesn't have the taste for kitsch that I do. She would probably think I was 100% in earnest and either really LOVE it or love it because it came from yours truly. It's quite difficult to tell with her, she really seems to adore everything I buy her...but she has *got* to be lying some of the time.

Anyway, even though I wasn't going to print it out, I was still very compelled to look at the picture. Sometimes I feel a very pressing need to fact-check my memory. Like, do you recall that time on Sesame Street when the girl took her llama to the dentist?? If your answer is "NO" , I am not shocked because for aaaages, I would reminisce over this and nobody knew WTF I was on about. I was starting to suspect my parents of slipping hallucinogens into my apple juice. But thank heaven for YouTube!!

I finally found my answer on eBay (where else?). It wasn't easy though. I searched for the better part of an hour (pausing once to proclaim via Facebook that I had stumped the internet). I looked for--

kitschy art red water mill

• red mill fishing boy mass produced art
• mill boy kitsch painting
• gallery of kitsch art (throwing a wide net here)
• red mill mass produced print


• boy skipping rocks red mill

ohhhh, and many more. I wish I could remember what magical combo of keyword (s) + search engine finally worked, but I can't. The artist of this kitsch classic is Paul Defletsen, and it seems he was mighty prolific. But I had only seen 2 of his works and had somehow conflated the two in my mind.

In the painting of my memory the boy from this picture--

Was in the below picture (but on the right side). I had forgotten entirely about the girl and the dog, covered bridge & horse& buggy.

But as soon as I clamped eyes on these they were instantly familiar and I knew--Eureeka!!--I'd found 'em.

First Day of Fall This Week!!

The other day I wore an odd sort of outfit-- one of my warmest cardigans...and capris. Though the parts were irrefutably chic, the sum was confused. And so it goes these days in my part of the world: mornings where you wake up--BRRrrr!--a-freezin' yer knobs off, but mid-day heat in the high 70s . And this seasonal limbo is wreaking havoc with my emotions. I'm quite torn over this upcoming Thursday & Friday (the last day of summer& first day of autumn, respectively) . It's not that I don't love autumn. I do ..I always have. I think that's required of me, being an Oktober babe, and all. THAT SAID, my appreciation for summer has grown & grown over the last few years. So, while I do not want to disparage autumn in anyway...the bottom line here is...I AM A SUMMER JUNKIE--I AM **NOT** READY TO BE DONE WITH IT.

But, really I do love autumn and it would be just like me to really peak in my appreciation of a season just as that season's slipping away. I have a tendency to do that with Autumn & Summer. So NOW is the time to embrace Autumn. I am hoping to do so, here and now, via CATHARTIC VIDEO EMBEDDING.

First off, a fond reminiscence of this past summer:

I cobbled together that video** from footage I shot in early June, when I went to Knapp Pond for a picnic with my sister and nieces.

ADIEU SUMMER, YOU GLORIOUS, GORGEOUS SEASON!! Siiiigh!

And now, a piece of music** I've been listening to quite a lot lately.. it gives off a lovely autumnal vibe, methinks.

Isn't that great? I know the accompanying imagery isn't at all fall-ish, but if *I* had made the video, it sure as scat woulda been. Close your eyes and listen-- it's all the grandest trappings of autumn in your ear: majestic stags, shiny fluglehorns, corduroy blazers with elbow patches. Okay so actually it's a gleaming brass hunting horn (at left) evoked here and NOT the "fluglehorn" (at right)--not quite. But can you really fault me for jumping at the opp to use "fluglehorn" in a sentence when I kinda had the chance? Heh..heh. .fluglehorns.



The Footnotes:

**Please forgive the shoddy audio work. I tried to loop the mp3 with some free software I downloaded online. I tried 3 different free programs, but could not get one that would eliminate that gap and make it "seamless". Note the proliferation of that "f-word"....FREE... my friend Mark suggested (ever so tactfully) that maybe I would have been able to loop the audio seamlessly if I had been willing to shill out a little $$ for some premium video editing software and not used the standard issue shite that came with my FlipCam. Me? Spend money?? Yeah, Mark doesn't know me so well. Since obviously I was gonna settle for the free shite, what I probably shoulda done was pick a track that clocked in at 2min 14 sec or more. But I was adamant that that song was THE *PERFECT* fit for the footage so I resigned myself to accepting the f-ng ANNOYING gaps. Or..kinda resigned myself...as obviously they still irk me and I also feel I just gotta apologize for them...

I dig making vids but NEVER had I intended to post anything on YouTube...stupid Blogger made me do it!! I tried to upload to Blogger a couple times and it was in a holding pattern of "Uploading.. .. .. uploading. . . .uploading" foreeeeever (and then some) and I finally gave up. I had a YouTube account (of course... who doesn't? Just for commenting on shit) but had never before uploaded there..I decided to give it a try and put the YouTube embed code in my blog instead. It was sooo easy it was RIDIC. The whole process done in <10min., I swear. This may move me to shoot more & share more...who knows, we shall see.

** This is also a very enjoyable version of Jagerchor and sort of new to me because I've never heard this sung in English before. The one I picked for embed is very close to the one on my iPod. When checking out the various offerings on YouTube, I was weighing the merits of THIS vs THAT ... I think that THIS definitely has considerable power--it's absolutely GRANDEUR PERSONIFIED. But on the other hand, THAT kinda charmed me too. And might it not be more faithful to the spirit of the song? Y'know, like swarthy, burly fellahs back to the village after a hard day's hunt. I dunno... you be the judge.

APOLOGY + some grooooovy YouTube finds.

The formatting on that last post was colossally EFFED UP and, try as I might, I couldn't get it fixed. Formatting in Blogger leaves A LOT to be desired.

Anywhooo, sorry about that.

Some goodness that I just couldn't hoard --

Discovered Chase via AccuRadio and I had to download their song "Get It On" . And who wouldn't "get it on" with that hubba hubba, Merlin Olsen- lookin' singer?? And those pants! Manly!!

"Hocus Pocus" delights and bewilders me. Those Dutch rockers be CA-RAAAAZY!!

I am powerless to resist that. I wish today's popular music had more shriek-yodelling.

Now, I'm sure I'd heard "Mas Que Nada" (surely it's been used in a commercial or two, si?) but I'd forgotten about it, and forgotten how very rad it was. I rediscovered it recently, because my Dad went out and bought a new turntable so he could play all his old vinyl. He's such a hipster, and he doesn't even know it!! So I was rifling thru the old record collection, and put on the very cool Sergio Mendes & Brazil '66. Of course, the album version of this song is the best version. But I'm in LOOOOVE with the below vid for other reasons. Well, to begin with, I have always adored Tom Jones. I'm pretty sure he mispronounces "samba" (yeaah..he definitely does at the 2:25 mark)and he doesn't do it very well, but I love this nonetheless. I'll say this for him--he is very, VERY skilled at changing from head-to-toe denim to a snazzy tux with magical speediness. This is just 1000% undiluted SWANK concentrate. Dig it..

Tomorrow, when cubicle-life is making me glum, that is EXACTLY where I wanna go in my head. I wanna samba with TJ, baby!!

Grizzly Sandiego

I'm sorry, my darlings, that I've been so remiss in posting. I've been so caught up in havin' a summah...but that is no good exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxcuse for such gross, prolonged neglect. Oh-and in other news, my laptop keyboard has a wonky x that pops off on occasion. I thought for once I would not wipe out the nutty side effects of me repairing that. I have deleted many, many, rows of xs in the past year or so...but perhaps, if I stop covering up evidence of this malfunction, in effect outing the wonkiness of this wonky X in this "public" forum, then maybe x will be shamed into behaving. We shall see.

So, "having a summah" --what does that entail for me?? I did go camping, a summer "must" that I have neglected for the past 2 or 3 years. Yep, I spent a lovely 5days, 4 nights at Emerald Lake in E Dorset, VT. It's a beautiful campground about 5 mi. north of Manchester VT. It's less than 2hrs away from home for me, so it's not as if I made a huuuuge journey for my vaca, but it was new territory to explore and I enjoyed a lot of hiking & beach time. I've been wondering how that park & general region fared when Hurricane Irene blew through my state on 8/28. I should hop on the VT State Parks website and see what info is shared therein (they've got a TERRIFIC website , BTW)

I'm a strange dichotomy y'know-- at times I get these sharp PANGS of wanderlust and I pine for all the places I want to see. I actually find it more time-saving to express my travel aspirations as a list of places I don't want to see (that being a much shorter list). But on the flip side of that, I also get these kinda surges of love for my home state and this sensation that Vermont has to be the most gorgeous place on the planet. So, consequently what I want to be--due to these two mindsets being strong in me- is the rare paradoxical World Traveller Mountain Woman.

I've said it before (somewhere around a zeeeeellion times, actually) that the very best part of having a vast fortune is that you could travel whenever you wanted in whatever style you liked. I wouldn't say budget travel is entirely worthless, but how freakin' AMAZING would it be to plan a trip and not have to mete out just how many ETO days you can afford to take and delve into "gee, would it save me more to stay at a Comfort Inn or a Days Inn??" (in a related aside, I would love to stay

here someday) (Oh, and, only slightly-relevant aside: while in Boston, I would be thrilled to the f-ng gills if I happened to run in to Bruce Springsteen busking in the park

. How boss is The Boss?? Love him!!) Anyway, I've yet to amass my vast fortune, so I haven't quite developed that "World Traveler" part of my dream persona. Now I did hatch a get-rich-quickish scheme the other day...maybe that will result in my globe-trotting (not with the novelty b-ball team...though that seems equally plausible) I don't think I'm going to stumble upon the winning Powerball numbers by letting a computer generate my picks. Plus, if I did, what a bland sort of serrendipity would that be, right? I wanna ridiculously huuuge fortune with a charming backstory attached!! Family birthday combos are so played out, so I'm not going that route. I'm going to start collecting the QC stickers on new purchases (I usually find them on clothing) and when I have 7 of them, I'm going to choose all my Quality Control Inspector #s as my lottery numbers. Totally BRILL, isn't it? It is 7 numbers, right? Pretty sure it's 6 regular lottery #s and then that one almighty Powerball number. Not entirely sure.. see, I don't even buy lottery tickets, I don't really know. Hey, I'm going to make sure to mention my total noob-ness in all my apres-win interviews, so that all the longtime players (y'know--2 tickets a week for 28 yrs--them folks) get severely pissed off.

So no world travelling this summer, but I have been being a mountain woman. No , that doesn't mean hairy legs, not necessarily (though, incidentally, now that we're past Labor Day, shaving frequency is bound to drop off) . But my parents live out in the country, the homestead is at the base of Mt. Ascutney, surrounded by woods, and all sorts of lovely nature which I have been communing with. And, as I prefaced in one of my multiple banal Facebook albums: "Nature photography is is a swell hobby on a beautiful summer day when no tengo dinero."

Here some photos showing my nature-communing over the course of the summer--

Spotted on the garage floor near the end of June--

Help me out, is this a centiped or a milipede?

The cat spied it too, but was not much help...

Camping at the start of July (this is the hiking trail that leads down to Emerald Lake)--

Mid August-- found a fatty toad loitering in the vicinity of the shed when I was out one night searching for the cat...

Whilest rifleing thru the tall grasses I interrupted two strange bugs in the midst of an intimate, butt-touching ritualThis pic of them does not do justice to how interesting-looking they were. They were a very awesome irridescent blue-black.

Yes, and speaking of bugs, I like this shot I got of a bug having his very worst day on record...

OHMM NOMNOM NOM NOM NOM NOMMMM!!! The excessive moisture in the air lately has resulted in a BOOM of mushroom growth. Seeing shrooms all over the lawn, lots of 'em and ones I'd not seen before...that was one of the cutest ones. Also found very unusual tiny, shiny, red-orange shroomies..

some more floral flora--

I always have found milkweed to be strangely fun but had never realized (prior to this summer) what cute pom-pom flowers they have.

I shot these orange spotted touch-me-nots this month. This is the time of year when their seed pods get all fat and they EXPLODE wonderfully when you brush them.

Now, to achieve true Mountain woman status, one must do more than simply ponce about the great outdoors with her camera. There was also much gathering of wild fruit...

First off, in late May to early June, you have wild strawberries--

In late June to early July, there are black raspberries. I picked these with my 2 youngest nieceys--








We made a semi-decent cobbler with those black raspberries. I discovered some group called NARBA (their website is where I got the cobbler recipe). I told the nieces I was going to join up with NARBA (being as I am such a prodigious berry gatherer) but betwixt you & moi, that name almost rhymes with another, horrifically creepy organization --NAMBLA, and for that reason methinks I will remain an unaffiliated berry enthusiast.

Then, late July through late August...you guessed it....

BLACKBERRY SEASON!! For as long as I can remember, we've had blackberry bushes between our house and our neighbors to the east. Now we are getting a new thicket, behind the house, next to the shed, where it's getting a bit overgrown where the doghouse used to be. But the berries, on these new bushes...they're different. I thought, initially they were maybe loganberries or boysenberries, but my sister scoffed at that. She said maybe they're a different sort of blackberry, but she even seemed skeptical of that. Sheesh..just because she was once a florist (a very good one, I concede) doesn't mean she's a botanical genius. I am quite confident that *I* am more NARBA material than she. Look at the "blackberries" below and compare/contrast with those pictured in my hand above (definite blackberries...from the older thicket)

Not only are they a tighter, more conical berry, but they peaked in ripeness, a good 2 weeks after the other blackberries did.

I picked a whole lot of these and made 'em into muffins. Not *awesome* muffins...but they were a step above the cobbler. And bonus--got photographic proof of these--

My latest harvest was *wild grapes*. Holy frijoles-- we had A TON of those this year!! I briefly considered making jam/ jelly/preserves with these,(considered it for like, a NANO-SECOND) but then decided that jam-making looked like quite the pain in the ass, and I much preferred wine anyway.

My grapes in the wild--

and, below, harvested ( I got 16 cups en toto!! Doesn't sound like a tremendous amount but seemed like a big haul to me!!)




I was feeling like this Dionysian goddess, and so, consequently my current FB profile pic--

dig my vine-y headgear?

And yes, I am making vino (these are the instrux I used...same "recipe" I used last year, but this year I'm doing 4 gallons vs. last year's 1 gal. Huzzah!!)

Fermenting now in my parent's basement-

WE SHALL DRINK NO WINE BEFORE ITS TIME!! (I've been puzzling over the origin of that phrase, btw, gimme a shout if you know anything about it..)