Be Kind, Rewind

I am not sure when this flick's getting released, but me really wants to see it...

Hero hook up??

NOBODY is as excited as I am for the Sept 24 season premier of Heroes. You may think you're just as excited, but you are quite mistaken. If you have read the blog semi-regularly (and I am certain I have a loyal readership of approximately 2) you likely have surmised how ga-ga for Heroes I am. It's almost my most blogged about show...second only to Project Runway.

This news item perturbs me though. I do love me that Sweet Pete Petrelli, and yeah, if I was Ms Hayden I'd hit that (like, for sure! aw, hells yeeeah) but on his part...eww. I ought to interject here that this is UNSUBSTANTIATED RUMOR (it was shoddy of me to call it a "news item" , really) . But if this be true... ohhh Mr Ventimiglia, how skeezy of you!! She juuust barely hit 18 in August and he is 30! Is it Puritanical of me to find that icky?

Milo and ME, on the other hand, a fine, age-appropriate match up. I certainly would have no objections...

my grown up lady purse

I am very fickle about purses. At times, I don't even want the hassle of lugging a purse around. At these times, I very mannishly jam my wallet into my arse pocket and go on my merry way. But most of the time, I have too many necessary accoutrements (hair clippie, mints, compact,etc..) to be able to forego a purse. And I tire of purses quickly. I want to change them out all the time. So I'd been using this black canvas tote (emblazoned w/ AC/DC logo) since the start of August. Quite a while, si? Well, because it was big with no organizational pocket system (making it absolutely impossible to find anything within in less than a minute) and because I got a mustard stain on it on Labor Day and because I was just plain getting sick of it.... I bought a new purse on Monday night.

I have been calling it "my grown-up lady purse" and I am quite enamored** with it. I was trying to find a pic of it on the Kmart website (YES, I bought the thing @ Big K...don't you sneer at me) but it's not on there. Maybe I have a West Lebanon store exclusive, who the hell knows... Anyways, it is a doctor's satchel style bag...the top is dark brown leatherstuff with muted gold accents..the pouchy part of the bag is off-white and cable knit. I have just become increasingly smitten with the thing... it's rather sophisticated and has this real autumnal** feel to it. I have been embracing fall fashion as of late...today I'm sporting jeans, my fave brown boots, maroon v-neck long sleeve shirt under an olive corduroy blazer, with a plaid wool scarf. The whole ensemble strikes me as pretty autumnal anyways. And of course I am carrying my grown up lady purse. This indirectly led to me TOTALLY insulting my boss this morning.

Allow me to elaborate...

I was blathering this a.m. about how much I adore my grown-up lady purse, and Robin joked " Is that the one you tuck under your arm and it makes you look like Sophia Petrillo??" and I laughed and said "PICTURE IT... Sicily 1932..." in a very funny voice that didn't sound anything like Estelle Getty. And there was much chortling. And then (as I was mixing up my a.m. coffee) I thought to say "Did you know that Betty White was married for many years to the dude who hosted 'Super Password'??" Dialogue proceeded like so ...

ROBIN: Yes! I did know that! Alan somebody...

ME: Alan Ludden

ROBIN: YES!

HEATHER: Who?

ROBIN: Betty White. Married to Alan Ludden. Who hosted 'Super Password'

HEATHER: I've never heard of 'Super Password' I don't know who Betty White is either..

ME: Yes you do!!! If I'd said Rose from the Golden Girls you woulda known right off

HEATHER: OOoooh...

ROBIN: And now she does those Pet Meds commercials. She's like 100 years old

ME: Heey! She does alright for her age! She's very spry...for an old broad. I should like to be an old broad like that when I am an old broad!!

MAGGIE/BOSSLADY (with her shoddy hearing, just picking up that last scrap of conversation): WHO are you talking about??

ME: YOU!!

Yeeeeah, sometimes my quick wit is too quick for my liking. Everybody was laughing--Mags included--- but I felt perhaps I crossed the line and my face got about as maroon as my shirt and then I made another pot of coffee. Mostly because I'd used up the last of the coffee but also kind of as a means to make amends.

Even more beloved than my grown-up lady purse is this scarf o' mine. I picked it up at this Celtic shop in Ottawa last summer...it is the Matheson (that's my mum' maiden name) family tartan. Or I should specify-- it is the formal clan tartan. My sister bought a scarf at that same shop, one in our clan's hunting tartan.. Visual aides to follow, I'm sure you will agree with me that MY tartan is far more attractive...

Well agree with me or no, this scarf IS the shiz-nit, and Sept-March I am liable to don it anytime I wear an outfit that is even remotely matchy. Today though, my passion for fall fashion proved a skoach ill-advised as it's in the high 70s out there. I could take off the jacket but, really, this shirt does NOT look so hot on its own (it rather highlights my back bacon if ya know what I mean).

** autumnal & enamored are on this weird list of impressive vocab words that we are compiling in our crazy-ass office. It's a new thing... so far it's just : autumnal, enamored, & mercurial

Things about today...

Ok the BIG action in cubicleville today was our First Aid episode. We are making light of it this afternoon, but it was pretty scary as it was transpiring. I was sitting in my cubicle and I hear someone making this wheezy backed up pool filter noise. And I, tremendously helpful gal that I am, bellowed "What the HELL is that noise??" But shortly afterward I heard a small stampede trampling past and I get up to see what all the hubbub's about.

So I step into the doorway of Lisa's office and find Heather & Robin there, Robin about to commence with the Heimlich on a red faced, bulgey-eyed Lisa. And I say (continuing along in this tremendously helpful vein) "SHIT--Are you okay??" Well she was not okay, as it happens, she was choking. I don't know what she coulda been choking on--she wasn't eating anything, but drinking (Crystal Light, I think) But I have no doubt she WAS choking. It was quite frightening. Robin's Heimlich turned out to be pretty ineffectual, so Heather stepped in and she got it done. I am glad that Heather succeeded, well obviously, since I didn't want Lisa to DIE, but yours truly was on deck to have a go at it and I'm sure I would have utterly botched it. I mean, FAILURE sucks enough in general, but to fail at such a crucial effort...oy vey!

I'd really like to think I'm made of heroic stuff, good in a crisis and all that, but I don't know... If this episode is any indication (which really was a quasi-crisis; caught before it could hit full-on crisis status) than I got a LOT o' room for improvement on that front. I resolve to add it to my "Soul Renovations" checklist....

Less dramatic fact about today-- I pecked at a peculiar lunch of pistachios & gorgonzola cheese. It was delish. I believe it was mi amiga Heather set me off on a gorgonzola kick the other night. And I hadn't had pistachios in a long time...I had forgotten how much I adore them. More specifically, I got Everybody's Nuts pistachios (see pic below) and next time YOU make a pistachio purchase, you ought to buy the very same brand, because they are fan-fucking-tastic.

I stole this pic from their website. Mayhap I will email them and gush so profusely about how much I adore their Salt & Pepper 'stachios that they will have no choice but to send me some freebies.

I was raving aloud about them and that moved Robin to ask if I liked pistachio ice cream. To which I confessed that I have never had it. She thinks that I would like it, but I believe that I would not. I don't see how it naturally follows that just because I adore pistachios that I would adore pistachio ice cream. Some things are delicious just being what they are and when their flavor is grafted on to a whole other food the result is less than delicious... YUCKY , even. I like spaghetti and meatballs... would I then automatically like spaghetti & meatball cookies?? I think NOT! Ok, well a better example of this principle-- tasty buttered popcorn. Now, I quite enjoy tasty buttered popcorn (not so much if it be microwave popcorn) particularly when I take in a movie. But... buttered popcorn flavored jellybeans?? AN ABOMINATION!! Bleccch!

However, I would try pistachio ice cream (in accordance with my "don't-knock-it-'til-you-try-it" policy) but I can't see myself buying a whole pint just to try it. Because I think that I will NOT like it and then I will have wasted $3.99 or so. And thrown out ice cream which is even more criminal. But at the next ice cream shop I patronize that offers sample bites--if they have 'stachio flavor-- I will ask for a taste of it. But that may not be for a while, as I tend to patronize ice cream shops in the summer months.

Yeeeees, summer is OVER. I'm not crazy about this...but I am coming to terms with it. I am trying to find the positive aspects of this. I can slack off a bit on the leg shaving...that's a good thing. It's getting to be hooded sweatshirt weather (I am wearing one today actually) and though many a fashionista would condemn this assertion, I DO believe the hoodie maybe the world's most perfect garment.

Mystery Carcass---EPILOGUE

I stayed over @ my parents' casa on Friday night. I wish to point out that this was NOT for fear of mystery carcass, I was working on a painting project there, it ran late, and I crashed. After a busy Saturday, I was driving back to my house at 1:30am, mulling over the carcass removal issue. I decided that NOW was the time and I was going to dispose of it (vs. using the inside stairs again) and I WOULD. Although, at 1:30am I wasn't about to root around for my landord's roof hoe thingy. So I decided that the next best thing would be to use my the squeegie/ice scraper/brush implement from my car-- that telescopes to about 3 feet. Except if I got guts on my ice scraper, I may never use it again...at the very least I would NOT relish cleaning the thing off. So I came up with the clever scheme of tying a plastic shopping bag around the head of the tool thereby sheilding it from all grodiness. Quite pleased with my own problem-solving acumen, I pulled into my parking space and looked up through the stairs. . .at nothing. The thing was GONE. There were no drag marks or entrail scraps stuck in the wood. A very mysterious end to the ordeal!!

Here's what could have happened--
SCENARIO A-- Some hoggy animal came by and gobbled it up. That possibility is cool w/ me, but I don't think that's what happened. If that had been the case, I feel certain there would be bits left. You mean to tell me that some critter ate all the fur, ate the nose of this unfortunate fellow critter? It did rain on Saturday, but not enought to wash a whole hide offa your stairs. I mean, that stair was utterly clear, like nothing had been there,
which brings me to. . . ..
SCENARIO B--I am losing my mind.
That stair was so totally clean that I really suspect this to be the case. Uggh... if I am hallucinating dead animals on the stairs, then, I think that means I am acquiring a very dark, negative brand of loco, and not becoming whimsically eccentric. Like Emperor Josh Norton that I read about this a.m. (Sept 17, you see is the 148th anniversary of his ascension to emperorship) now his kinda crazy might not be so bad...especially if everyone adores you for it and lets you spend phony homemade money all over town. Sweet!
SCENARIO C-- My landlord spied the carcass and took it upon himself to remove it. This is almost okay with me (better than the notion of my going insane). Although I don't like being "beholden" to my landlords. Y'know I live in the same building as them, but I really don't see them all that often and that's the way I like it. If my landlord starts doing me extra courtesies, then I'M gonna feel compelled to make an effort to be kindly toward them, maybe start paying my rent in person and enduring that horrid 5 minutes of obligatory small talk (uggh).
Scenario D-- That WAS the landlord's cat... I still am pleased that I didn't have to clean up carcass-mess.. HOWEVER, I am slightly bothered by the thought that my neighbor may think I spotted their dead cat on my steps and didn't see the need to mention it to anybody, just stepped around the furry heap and went on my merrily callous way. That is NOT how it happened, and it vexes me a bit that there could be that misconception out there about yours truly. I may be antisocial, but I'm not callous. I am faux callous sometimes but my heart's not in it.

Well, I will probably never know what happened (that would require talking to the landlord(s)). But the overall lesson here is- ignore a problem and it WILL go away.

And here be some pictures of Emperor Norton currency. I did not guess it to be so fancy-schmancy and official looking. Expecting the 19th ce equivalent of crayon on construction paper I guess. . .

Friday Morning Dry-heaves, Chupacabras, & Didgeridoos

Lawdy, this oughtta be quite a post! Rather ambitious subject line, that...

But hey... why don't we start off with my being 4 minutes late to work this morning and why that was. I stepped out my door at the usual time (8:15 ish) and crossed the deck , started down the stairs. I halted my descent when I suddenly spied. . . (gasp!) A DEAD BISHOP ON THE LANDING !! Ha, ha,ha, ha…no (click here if you were not sufficiently nerdy to get that one) it WAS a dead something-er-other, but on the second to last stair before the landing. I let loose with a loud exclamation--it was not a cuss-- more like “Uhhh-AAHHH!” or “UUUGH!” or something of that nature. Note below, where I’ve drawn up a handy Microsoft Paint layout of my abode and surrounding premises with an X marking the spot of the mystery carcass.

I don’t know what the thing was. It was grey and white. It looked like a stillborn kitten except it was not , because it was pretty large, taking up most of the step. I just thought it looked like that because it was curled up all fetal-like, it’s hair was kinda slicked back, and it didn’t appear to be too mangled. Of course I didn’t get down all close to it and work my mad CSI skillz on it, that’s for sure. Probably then I coulda reported to you what the f*** it was. This is what I did do… I thought “I don’t have time to dispose of this uhhh..UGH.. whatever… I gotta get to work. I will just rush down , try not to look, hop over that step and get to my car.” Well, in retrospect, I don’t think I’m actually coordinated enough to execute such a move …although we’ll never know because I was unable to take another step. I turned around and went back inside. I thought to throw a paper towel over it, but I don’t have any just now. I quickly snatched up a Walmart bag. There was some crap in it-- receipt, tags-- that I dumped out and intended to drape that over the corpse in lieu of paper towelage. I said to meself “Ah, well, surely it won’t be so bad this time around. I know it’s down there, thus eliminating the element of surprise” Still, I started down with the bag in front of my face,positioned so that it might obscure my view of the grody thing. But I could see through the bag and as I went down the stairs I started to GAG. I spun back around, went inside again and took the inside stairs down to the foyer, into the garage, out the front and around the side of the house to my car.
So that is why I was 4 minutes late for work. The thing is still there, I presume (my Dad guessed it might be a possum, and I guess it might be, though the office brain trust came up with another likely possibility) As nauseated as I am by the carcass, I don’t want to recruit somebody to dispose of it for me. I hate the notion of being such a helpless wuss. Ideally something will come and eat it up before I get home. Or some of its own kind will carry it off into the forest to give it a proper burial. But if it’s there when I return, I will dispose of it.. I’ll wait until nightfall (or dusk at least) because I don’t want to stare at that thing in the bright light of day again. And I’m thinking the perfect implement would be one of those long snow rakes, the ones you clear snow off your roof with, so that I can do the job from 10 or 15 ft away.

We hypothesized at work that the office chupacabra killed one of my landlords’ cats. My landlord does have cats. One is black, and I know they have more than one, though I am unsure of the exact number. They might have a gray & white cat. The mystery carcass was about cat-sized. Also, Robin and I have long talked about the chupacabra that is hiding away somewheres in our office, skulking around after hours when no ones about, making mischief , perpetrating various misdeeds and what not ( which is more the M.O. of like a sprite or a brownie than a chupacabra, but we just substituted a chupacabra because, well, they’re just innately funny, ain’t they??) Anyways the theory grew that the chupacabra was sick and tired of hearing me slander him all the time, and grew to really have it in for me. Well somehow, he found out where I live--perhaps I left a piece of mail lying around ( a not implausible situation, as mine is not the tidiest of cubicles) And he went to mi casa last night and killed what he thought was my cat. And left it on my steps as like, y’know some sort of symbol of vendetta or something. Note also the unmangled state of this victim --consistent with the condition of virtually all chupacabra prey.
One might presume that I dislike this theory. Certainly the notion that I am being stalked and menaced by a rogue chupacabra does not cheer me. However, if this is the case, my landlords will probably clean up my steps without my needing to ask for it (y’know with them wanting to bury their dead cat and all..). So yeah, in that regard this wouldn't be a bad scenario.

We truly do have a running gag in the office about chupacabras. Which is why I took special notice of this news story of a week or so ago, and I M ed Robin a link to it at once. Now clearly this is no chupacabra. Being the expert amateur chupacabra affiniciados that we are, we determined that right away. Heather said it looked like a dingo …I agree…like a dingo that was shaved, then died of consumption, and then rotted for a spell. But it couldn’t be 100% determined what the critter was…it sure was nasty…and this crazy TX bitch thought it was a chupacabra. And THAT is what really amazed me in this story---this nut job lady. She finds, on her ranch, an odd carcass of indeterminate species, that she comes to believe is a chupacabra . So, the normal course of action here is to ..STASH IT IN YOUR FREEZER. Huh?? And at some point afterwards, she beheads the bastard!! She is photographed holding the noggin in what I sure as hell hope is her ranch laboratory sink, because if she’s put that severed head in her kitchen sink then…Ewww EW!! I don’t care how stainless my stainless steel was, I would never do dishes in that f-er again!!

Speaking of dingos (flimsy segue in progress here...forgive me) someone in casa de landlords plays the mo-fo DIDGERIDOO!! Yes on two separate occasions I have been coming up the back stairs and heard, through an open window, someone within the big house playing the didgeridoo. Now I didn't learn the didgeridoo whilest living amongst the Aborigines (primarily because that didn't really happen). We actually had the didgeridoo come up in casual office banter one day and then that sparked a lot of questions--what exactly does the didgeridoo sound like? how does one play it? how is it spelled precisely? And the crew used their marvelous net research talents and we were able to scrounge up some online audio of said instrument, and a little write up (probably courtesy of Wikipedia) on it. So yes I do know for a fact that it WAS a didgeridoo I heard. Twice! Not sure who was playing it, but I'm guessing it's the same one that I often hear playing the recorder. Yeah, one of 'em plays the recorder a lot which I thought was a bit lame and 3rd grade-ish. But the didgeridoo...that's downright BIZARRO. Don't get me wrong, I AM a music lover. And I wish I could capably play some sort of instrument---not the didgeridoo. Here is a list of top 5 instruments I wish I were skilled at (#1 being the most coveted, counted backwards for purposes of maximum suspense)

5. Banjo

4. Drums

3. Guitar

2.Violin

1. Piano

Speaking of music (I can't quit the lame segues -I'M SORRY!) I found this neat-o site called Songfacts that has a decent sized directory of tunes and for every song it gives lyrics, and then some facts about the song (usually something about what inspired it or what the lyrics really mean, somethin' like that) and then there's message boards. It's a user -maintained site, so it's got credibility akin to that of Wikipedia, but I'm sure not all the "facts" on there are bogus. I looked up "Say it Ain't So" which is probably my favorite Weezer song (I do love me some Weezer) and the Songfacts.com explanation made sense enough to me. "This bottle of Steven's awakens ancient feelings" Always thought that was such a cryptic line, but I am puzzled no longer...

who knew??

...that Colin Farrell was such an awesome guy?? I am immensely impressed! I feel, like, compelled to join his fan club or something. Well, ultimately , I WON'T , however I am now decreeing a ban against any further criticism of Colin (by me) no matter how greasy and repellent his hair looks or how stupid his movies are. Ok, that was a bit of a jab, that last bit there, but ONLY for the purposes of purging all anti-Colin Farrell sentiment out of my system. Because I'm never ever going to say anything bad about him again. Starting. . . . NOW!

Sandra, Plain and of Average Height

I watched Sarah Plain & Tall for like the hundredth time last night. OK, I'm exaggerating , but only a smidge. I really have watched the hell out of that movie, I could probably lip synch to it. Yep, I own it...and the 2 Sarah Plain & Tall sequels. I know that renders me fairly unrivalled in severe dorkishness, but I make no apologies. I am sorry though, that laundry and make-dinner-for-the-folks night is going to prevent me from watching Skylark (airing tonight at 9 on the Hallmark channel) Waaaaaah. I'm sure I'll be missing "Last Comic Standing" also, but I know my sister DVRs that.

I enjoy the whole Sara-Jacob romance that's at the core of this trilogy and I do find it believable...despite the fact that Glenn Close has always generally seemed to give off a lesbianish vibe. That's just my perception, and, I concede, a totally unfounded one. In reality, she is on her 3rd husband (& even procreated with one of 'em). So... am not even sure why I think that. And I don't know why Meryl Streep makes me think of Glenn Close and vise versa. Hmmmm.. maybe it's that I've seen her (Glenn) in not very many dresses and a wide array of pant suits...that might account for the Sapphic vibe (but obviously not the Meryl Streep thing).

I wasn't just being sappy in my viewing habits last night, I also indulged in a bit o' cheese. Prior to watching Sarah.. I watched Drive Me Crazy. I so dig that movie. Melissa Joan Hart is totally likable, but she's an awfully plain looking chick and it's downright inspiring to watch her snag a choice specimen like Adrian Grenier. Also I like the dude who played Ray in that movie...whoever he is. I wonder if he still acts?? Surely a quick trip over to IMDB could tell me but.. I just prefer to wonder.

more movie jibba-jabba

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull... whewww! What a mouthful.


And, here we have an onset publicity photo, scrounged up on Yahoo!




There's been a lot of press on how fit and foxy Harrison Ford is and how capably he's donning the ol' whip & fedora...but I say...Indy-schmindy, how great is Karen Allen looking?? She's somewhat of an old broad, y'know, and looking better than she did in the 80s (albeit NOT in a scary-new-plastic-head-a la Kenny Rogers kind of way). On the other hand, I am NOT admiring Shia LeBeouf's icky upper lip catepillar!! Ewww. It does NOT make him look like any offspring of Indiana Jones. Nope, he's lookin' more like son-of-Schneider-from-"One Day at a Time" here.



Hey, I'm only tough on Shi-guy because I like him. Last night I finally got around to watching my newly purchased "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" and I was MUCHO impressed with Shia's acting. It's hard to reconcile in my mind the fact that this promising young actor is the very same dude I used to watch (only sporadically, mind you) in Even Stevens (but like, I said, that was sporadically...really VERY seldomly. HONEST!)

I liked "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" but the music in the flick kinda baffled me... The bulk of the action takes place in 1986 (with brief forays into the present) but the music was all from the 70s. It didn't REALLY bother me... I'm sure Dito Montiel had a good reason for picking what tunes he did. Maybe it's just honestly what he & his crew listened to. Just seemed a smidgeon incongruous, is all .
The one song in the movie that I really liked (and that seemed to have the right tone) was "New York Groove" which played during the end credits and when you were in the DVD menu. I was closely inspecting the credits so that I might discover who sings it. And then when I read it, I had to back up the DVD and let it scroll up the screen again, unsure that I really read what I thought I read: "performed by KISS" . Wha?? I like KISS alright, but that really surprised me. First off, I didn't think it was an old song...I had somehow got it into my head that it was a new song, possibly written for the movie/soundtrack. And it didn't have that KISS sound ...didn't rock as hard as they usually do or something. Sounded a bit like The Scissor Sisters or some group like that. Well, I did a bit o' research on it today and it is not quite a KISS song (it's a KISS bastard) Originally Ace Frehley did it on his 1978 solo outing and when KISS took Ace back into the fold, they absorbed "NY Groove" into their repertoire. Anyways... that's another KISS song on my "to download" queue (along with "Beth" & "I Was Made For Lovin' You")

foul rumors

I was checking Worst Previews for upcoming movie news (as is my custom) when I came upon this casting atrocity possibly in the offing--



















(link to story HERE as my pic doesn't seem to wanna enlarge)
They cannot do this. I FORBID IT!! I ADORE Magnum P.I. There is no other hirsute, short shorts-sportin' P.I. that compares. The movie Valley Girl was this total anomaly, because in that, Nicolas Cage was likeable...and CUTE, even. But, I've really not cared for him in anything else I've seen him in . And these days I've not seen anything he's been in because the guy just kinda irks and repels me. And not to be petty, but he's got one of the worst smiles in Hollywood...most people look good in a smile, but his just amplifies everything that's aesthetically whack about him. Dude is all bug eyes and horsey teeth and receding hairline. Ok, I take back that "not to be petty". That was petty and you can't just negate the pettiness of a sentiment by prefacing with "Not to be petty.." It doesn't work. It's similar to these morons that start sentences with "No offense but.." (you know.. something like "No offense but your hair looks like total shit today" to which one ought to answer somethin' like "Ah, well, your disclaimer was quite ineffectual as I AM fucking offended, you twit...GAWD, I hate you.")
Well anyways. . . the abridged version goes like so-- I NO LIKEY Nic Cage (what kind of nutjob names his kid Kal-El??) and I vehemently oppose him being cast as Magnum P.I. (who is terrif)

The article also mentions Ricky Gervais passing on the role of Higgins. (Opposite CLOONEY as Magnum?? I find that rather far fetched. Yeah, I could see him exuding the correct Magnum swagger, but he is WAY too A list for such a project) Gervais , I think woulda been a perfect Higgins. But I guess I understand his reluctance...the dude is really a comedian, not an actor actor. He is not willing to deform his coiffure so hideously as it would require to fully embody the Higgins role. A true thespian would --take multiple Oscar winner like Tom Hanks, for example, y'all saw what grody hair he consented to for The Da Vinci Code ,yes?

toothbrush adventures

I gave myself the mission this morning of redesigning my desktop. I got it in my head that I wanted a late 60s Peter Max /yellow submarine vibe, and after a while of digging about on flickr, I came upon this collection, which is totally magnificent and also just what I was looking for.

I picked the below pic for my desktop....

Robin and I were trying to make out just what the backstory is here. What we decided is that....Li'l Miss Bluepuff is floating along on this curious shelf while her pal Mr Toothbrush is regaling her with his tumultuous, epic life story. He won some sort of toothbrushing championship (top right) and went on to represent the U.S.A. at the toothbrush Olympics (top left) Resulting success and acclaim (top center) led to him succumbing to some bad habits, as many stars do (see middle, left ) Now, I am not certain what Toothbrushdude is smoking here---peyote?? Swisher Sweets??--- but the fact that it's curling his hair and has TURNED HIM GREEN is a fair indication that he should cease & desist. And he does kick the junk and professionally reinvents himself as a singer (bottom left ) but after a couple platinum albums he grew wary of the pitfalls of fame and extricated himself from the public eye. He moved to Columbia (the S American country, not the university) and began ranching,(bottom right) eventually becoming the world's second largest supplier of giant toothpaste radishes.

The pic is actually taken from a book called "The Teletrips of Alala"written by Guy Monreal and illustrations by Nicole Claveloux (said book is now on my Amazon wish list). So after stumbling onto the amazing work of Claveloux that led me to this book publisher Harlin Quist who, in the late 60s thru the 70s put out all these really avante garde and artsy kids books with real quality illustrations (Claveloux was one of his principal illustrators). And now I want to buy them ALL. Well, most of 'em. I love a well illustrated children's book. I am a little obsessive about buying them too, but I always give them to my nieces& neph so that I look not quite so odd.

I was going to search the stacks at Encore books (my neighborhood go-to used bookstore) for any Harlin Quist offerings during my lunch hour, but I made the mistake of revealing that I was going to grab my lunch at Wendy's (next to Encore) and in 2 shakes of a lamb's tail I had in my possession a post-it with 3 coworkers' lunch orders. I don't want to infer that any of 'em are ingrates, they were all quite appreciative and said their pleases & thank-yous at the right junctures, but I was internally perturbed because it stopped me from popping into Encore. I mean, I was right nearby, and I could have stopped there (no one forbade me) but I was consumed with the thought of 3 people back in the office awaiting their lunchies and I knew that would prevent me from browsing as leisurely as I am accustomed to doing. I did run a bank errand prior to hitting the Wendy's drive thru, but have postponed Encore until after work.

Speaking of Wendy's...remember how I was griping about their restructuring their drive thru in a really asinine fashion?? Well they split a traditional 1 line drive thru into 3 lanes with three ordering speakers that merge into 1 queue to pay & pick up. Well I KNEW it just wasn't going to work and sure enough, when I went today, I saw they'd closed it down. My boss was saying how some of the Wendy-folk that you reached via those speakers were in MARYLAND! Oddness. Some Wendy's HQ in MD took your order and IMed or emailed it to the crew at the Wendy's you were at. Come ooooon. Sometimes, simpler IS better!!

Oh, and in defense of Claveloux, not ALL of her illustrations were so loopily far out. Take the lovely example below ...it definitely shows a 60s pop influence but is not so drug induced looking

cheating

Yesterday, mi amiga Kara posted some film criticism. See said post below or go here.

Anyways I had to post a comment because it amused me that she brought up "The Lake House" when I was just chatting about that movie with a friend. So I began to type up my comment but then succumbed to a tangent (as I am apt to do) and as the comment grew and grew I thought " Shit, if I'm doing all this typing on Blogger anyways I may as well post a long overdue post" I've been a baaaad & negligent blogger. Had been meaning to do a recap of my vaca, and started to , but I got bored with that (probably because I've been verbally yammering on about it so much) and abandoned that post. But when & if I ever get my photos off my cam, I'll post 'em here--I promise. Anyways... decided to scrap my comment and recycle it into a post. A recycled comment post is not a brand spanky new post, but it's better than NOTHING.

So... my rebuttal to Kara's post (and quasi-related ramblings...)---


It's funny that you bring up "The Lake House", since just last night I gave meself an honest-to-goodness MIGRAINE trying to explain that chronological clusterfuck of a movie to Heather. I pretty much got the thing (yes "got" = bought...the context of last night's discussion was how H & I both have developed the wickedly frivolous habit of going into Hollywood Vid and always buying instead of renting) because Robin was telling me about it and I felt I just had to see it for myself in order to comprehend the premise. So I watched it, and it more or less made sense at the time, but then last night Heather was quizzing me on the logistics of the plot and I totally botched the telling of it... could NOT explain it at all whatsoever. The gist of what I told her was "AAAARRGH!" (whilest clutching noggin at the temples) Time travel movies always make me intellectually dizzy. All of them. Even "Back to the Future" (but don't get me wrong...I ADORE B2tF...the original, anyway ...the George-free sequels didn't do it for me)

I'm with you on V for Vendetta...very good movie. I have never sat thru all of "Less Than Zero" and that's on account of my HUGE anti-Andrew McCarthy prejudice. The issue is not that his surname reminds me of that blacklisting bastard Sen. Joe McCarthy (I got over that) but rather that he very whinily wrecked Ally Sheedy & Judd Nelson's relationship (St Elmo's Fire) and then proceeded to steal Andie away from the waaay more deserving Duckie, and THEN he fell in love with a slutty Kim Cattrall mannequin. And that last transgression was the worst of all, dude. "Mannequin" is just a horrid , cringe-inducing movie that I've always found to be totally unbearable. You have this film centered on this tremendous loser fetishist protagonist, and then (craptastic bonus!!) you get Meshach Taylor, flaming almost as brightly as he did on Designing Women. UUUGH. But "Less Than Zero" does have Robert Downey Jr going for it...I do like him. (loved him in "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang"--which is a TERRIF movie) And I've just purchased "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints", which I primarily bought for a Channing Tatum fix (yyyyummy) but RD Jr is in there too.

Oh and last night I watched "The Island". I'm not one for action flicks but I had a hankerin' to watch something with Ewan McGregor in it. I watched "Velvet Goldmine" last week which just left me with a residual "Gawd, I adore that Ewan McGregor!" feeling. Nothing like seeing a guy rock out with his c**k out (QUITE LITERALLY) to renew one's appreciation .... if you've ever watched "VG" then you KNOWS the scene in question... Good flick overall ("Velvet Goldmine" not "The Island") and it made me feel like my personal music library is quite lacking in the glam rock genre (it's lacking in country music too, but that's entirely intentional!!)
"The Island" was okay.... watchable...tolerable. Ewan was in fine form. Though I'm not much of an action flick fan, and I get the sense that in a month, I won't remember all that much about the movie.

troubled Butterscotch

THIS news item was a shocker. He seems like such a happy-g0-lucky sort of fellah. Could that have been entirely an onscreen persona??

Could it be that he somehow discovered that Luke is my fave Wilson brother?? Seems unlikely, although I have gone on record with that opinion before.

Ok, ok, ok, I should not jest. SORRY. Seriously, though, I am going to be kind of irked and disappointed if we don't learn that O has some deep seated psychological demons he's been wrestling and/or suppressing for a while. Because the alternative--that he is that despondent over breaking it off w/ Kate Hudson--that is unthinkable. Not that there's any GOOD reasons to off yourself, but that would be one of the lamest reasons ever.

bon voyage

Not much to offer up today, but I just can't commence a colossal week-long blog break without posting just 1 more post.

Yep, going on vaca starting tomorrow. Will be staying at a rented cottage on Lake Willoughby. From the rental property "dossier" I read, it looks like pretty sweet digs. However, there's no TV or computer, so unless I master the art of telekinetic blogging (I have been practicing) you'll not hear a peep outta moi until 8/27 or so. Yeah, no TV... I don't know how I feel about that. I'm torn. On the one hand, I like the idea of a real rustic hideaway and communing with nature and all that, but on the other hand is nature SOOO damn terrif that I wanna immerse myself in it 24/7?? Hmmm. I do intend to bring a heinyload of books. The cottage write-up boasted of a "fully stocked library" but I ain't gonna trust anyone else's taste in books!! The lake is reportedly pretty majestic... a glacial lake....the nth wonder of the world or somethin'. I plan to swim in it (or more accurately I will likely alternate my prize-winning backfloats with wallowing like a water buffalo...nothing so athletic as actual swimming)

Ok, totally veering off topic, but I wanted to gripe (to gripe on record, if I've not done so yet) how vexed I am by people who leave their shopping carts rolling around loose in the parking lot. I realize how absurd it is to say such people should be penalized, but if that's what it takes to instil some common f*cking decency in people, than maybe so.. Grrrr--do I ever HATE that! Ok, so maybe you had to park waaaay far away from the store...well, some bloody genius invented this phenom called "The Cart Corral" so you don't have to schlep your fat arse all the way to the curb!!! Wonders never cease, eh??

I think I should interject here (since I am griping for the record) that if these shopping cart abandoners are old duffers, or mentally handicapped or in some way infirm, then they be exempt from my wrath & disdain (although, they probably should not be out shopping on their own, they need to enlist some assistance. And ideally.... said aide would be trained in how to properly return a shopping cart when finished with it)

I got fish tacos from 99 for lunch and even though I concede that they sound kinda icky (as a matter o' fact, I got a chorus of disgusted groans when I announced my lunch pick to the office populace) I assure you they were de-fucking-LICIOUS!!! I would probably eat a poo taco if it came with enough guacamole & sour cream . Sour cream is condiment royalty, baby! And me mucho encanta the guacamole ...though I don't consider it a condiment. It's royalty of some other food class. But, I digress--- this is me, heartily recommending the fish tacos at the 99 (still on record, right??) Possibly my epicureal credibility is compromised when I proclaim that I would eat poop in a taco, so I should point out that I was totally exaggerating when I wrote that. Bit of late Friday hyperbole there...

Ciao, babies!!

SLOTH LOVE CHUNK-- UNNNNHHHH

Am pasting here a funky news item I read in the Lansing State Journal online (odd that I'm reading the Lansing State Journal, but, at any rate...)

Sloth still on the lam
OKEMOS - There was one possible sighting Wednesday of Judi Veverka's missing two-toed sloth, but as of press time, the animal remained at large.
The lead was fairly promising. Veverka described the witness as a "well-traveled woman who had seen sloths before," adding: "She was very positive of what she saw."
Veverka checked it out, but came up empty. She expected to return for another look later Wednesday.
The fact that the sighting took place about five miles from Veverka's home in the Briarwood subdivision of Okemos made her believe the pet may have been stolen, then released. On their own, sloths move very slowly.
The 15-pound sloth, Sambada, disappeared from its kennel Monday night.
Veverka got her taste for sloths while living in Brazil, where the animals are commonly kept as pets.
Veverka advises people to be on the lookout for "a weird-looking animal crawling around on its elbows and looking sad."
Veverka may be reached at (517) 347-2166, or (517) 449-9025.

I was under the impression that sloths were always in trees...coming down about once a week to drop a deuce. But for a sloth to run away? Now that's showing a remarkable amount of ambition, ain't it? Mayhap Sambada came down for his weekly #2 and could not find a satisfactory spot. Now he's wandering around suburbs of Lansing, lost, sad, apparently dragging his sad, lost self around ON HIS ELBOWS (double sad!) and probably he still has to shit. Poor fellah.

Dude -if I had a sloth, NO WAY would I name him "Sambada". Never ever... it's like a cross between Sambora & Lambada....evokes images of Heather Locklear's greeeazy ex doing THE FORBIDDEN DANCE!! Ughhh..no thank you. I think probably I'd go with "Sherman" or "Guillermo" or "Carmine" or geez, I don't know for sure but there are a thousand or so possible sloth names that are more awesomer than SAMBADA. And I wouldn't have a 2toed sloth either, I'd get a Bradypus variegatus or Brown-throated three toed sloth.

Check out this handsome cuss...

also I have a baby sloth pic...

Awwwwwww.....

Last summer, when I journeyed to the Montreal biodome, I stared at the "sloth" section in the rainforest dome for a good 20 minutes but was unable to spot neither hide nor hair (nor wickedly sharp looking but actually benevolent claw) of a sloth. What a pisser. But on the bright side, I did see a gaggle of capybaras and them guys are also pretty RAD.

What's It Gonna Beeeeee -heeee??

I watched that video again for the KABILLIONTH time and it still kills, man! "Now I got a lotta bitches to plow so you could f*ckah me later but you should f*ckah me now" HAAAAAA! SO damn funny.

Whew!! Am I ever glad to be done typing the words Hot Fuzz!! I still wanna see the movie though. . . .


Right now I'm listening to The Police Greatest Hits CD. Specifically that "Dee Doo Doo Doo Dee Daah Daah Daah" gibberish . Although as I understand it, the protagonist here has been repeatedly raped by Logic. Surely if one is bound and sexually violated by a big formless branch of philosophical study, a certain amount of incoherent chatter is forgiveable.

The shorts I'm sportin' today have 5 buttons on 'em--5!! There are two inner buttons on the left and 3 showy outer buttons on the right side. And as if that was an insufficient # of fastening mechanisms-- there's also a state-of-the-art YKK zippah. These pantalones es MAX SECURITY. It's like the shorts are compensating for the precariousness of this shirt (although I didn't plan it that way). I'm wearing this beige scoopneck shirt that flashes my bra whenever my perfect posture should falter and I slump in just the right way (or just the WRONG WAY...depending on what your attitude about seeing my bra is)

So ..I had it my nog that I wanted to see the movie Hot Fuzz (an after effect of yesterday's Simon Pegg research) . I was stoked to see the sign next to the Redbox in the vestibule of Shaws showed Hot Fuzz as one of the featured Redbox titles. But it was the ol' bait & switch my amigos!!! Lure me in with the promise of Hot Fuzz and sucker me in to renting Premonition when I find that Hot Fuzz is not --in actuality- one of that unit's proffered rentals. OK well I didn't rent Premonition after all, but I came rather close. I kinda had wanted to see that movie, primarily for the Julian McMahon factor ( I SO love him! He's from Australia too, didja know that? Could Australia really be this incredible Shangri-La rife with magnificent man-specimens?? Or do all the magnificent ones take up acting and flee the country?? Just wondering...) And then there was this couple exiting the store when I was at the Redbox (poring over the titles for the umpteenth time, verifying to myself that NO Hot Fuzz is NOT amongst the available new releases) and the hubby is like "OOOh! You're using this thing!! I've always wanted to see someone using this thing!!" And I was briefly compelled to rent Premonition just to demo for them the whole Redbox procedure. But Redbox's LIES put me in a sour mood and I took an all-or-nothing stance and said to meself "Y'know FUCK movies! If I can't get that one, I won't watch any. And F__ you too, random shoppers!!" Ok, I feel bad about that last one, even if I didn't voice it . I'm sure that they are very nice people but they had to find themselves another huckleberry as I didn't rent a thing. I have a few craft projects in the hopper and I will probably devote my evening to them.



Oh, and Wednesday night is make-dinner-for-the-folks night (new tradition) so I'll be doing that. Here be a scan of the recipe I'm going to attempt...

I need to get out to the bars

If someone was this creative in trying to pick me up --even if they were this majorly crude--I may just be powerless to resist...






SOOOOOO *&^%#$ING FUNNY!!!

odd trivia tidbits

Simon Pegg is kind of adorable. I've only seen him in 1 thing (his breakthrough flick Shaun of the Dead) but really, that is all I needed to come up with this verdict. Granted, he owes a lot to the power of the mighty Brit accent...without that , he could merely be like a Giovanni Ribisi-type figure (mild-to-moderate on the Charm Scale) but he's got that Brit import thang going for him, so that kicks him right up into the next charm bracket (Pretty Damn Charming).

So I was browsing trailers for upcoming movies on Worst Previews (awesome site...I highly recommend) and one of the movies slated for Sept is called Run Fat Boy Run. Well, that title snared my attention, so I checked it out (looks cute, but I think it's probably a rental rather than a multiplex pick) and seeing that it starred Simon Pegg, it made me muse--"Ohh, Simon Pegg..he is really kind of adorable" which moved me to hasten o'er to his write-up on IMDB wherein I discovered (titular odd trivia tidbit coming up...) he is the godfather of Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow's li'l Apple. Fancy that!!

I suppose it's a testament to Pegg's potent adorability that said trivia tidbit does not sour me on him (as I am inexplicably but seriously irked by Gwynnie)

In a barely related story... I was rather taken aback by these pics (spied on the Go Fug Yourself blog) from some mag photo shoot where Gwyneth was feeding a rat from a sippy cup. To quote the profound & defunct Otara Millionaires Club--how bizarre!

I hope she was secretly TERRIFIED.