Laugh Factory brawlin'

What a BIZARRO news item....

While, I don't imagine it takes much fighting skill to wreck Andy Dick, it's still weird to imagine Jon Lovitz as such a bad-ass bruiser. Really weird.

I want to try. . .

this...

Bubble Tea!!!

but I've no idea where I'd find it 'round these parts...

THIS is my meticulous note taking from this morning's ISO 9000 training..

Ahhhh, what can I say?? I get a real kick out of scanning things....

Dunkin' Donuts is giving out some very sexy straws with their iced coffee nowadays. I got a tub of coconut flavored iced coffee (which sounds a little too oddball to be good, but I rather liked it) and once I'd polished that off, I just could not bear to toss out the orange & pink stripey straw. I used it all day today (in consumption of subsequent bevvies)

I love orange and pink together.

I totally feel like I've read this book when I see this cover. I can't call to my mind's eye any images from the inner pages, nor can I recollect any of the general plot points so... perhaps I've not read it. And yet....the cover really does give me beaucoup deja vous, knowwhatimean??
I added the book to my Amazon wish list (which is a rather interesting place, though I suspect it's not 1/2 as long as it could be....I mean, I must want for waaaay more than a mere 29 items!! I'm a very covetous sorta chick...)

Breaking my own blog-laws

You remember, back when I mastered video embedding, how I set a one video per week limit. Well, that was aaaalll the way back on June 29 and I'm a-breakin' the law already!! But I only made that rule so that I wouldn't get gratuitous about it and just offer up some worthless video in lieu of a post when I can't think of anything. So because sharing this vid is absolutely NECESSARY (therefore not gratuitous) I think this particular transgression should be ruled allowable. So yeah, I heard of these "Flight of the Conchord" fellahs...was curious about their current HBO show (a curiosity I cannot satisfy --being unwilling to upgrade from my current $0. per month cable package) and I just barely did some net research on the duo. I found this on YouTube and...well, is it dweeby of me to say I was insta-smitten?? Adorable!!! Hilarious!! Bravissimo!!! How could I not share this ???

I wish all criminals were like this...

...won over by fine wine and a bit o' hospitality (like this DC "criminal")

Am posting this because I haven't used my fancy new vid embedding skills for some time. If ya don't use it ya lose it, ya know...

Ok, this I picked, because it elicited an out-loud "WTF???" from me, and I had to watch it 3X to confirm that yes, I did see what I thought I saw. I may have to watch it once or twice more to determine whether the case here is that--

a) Simple case of drunken violent scumbag...has imbibed enough booze to free him up to exhibit his bastardly behind-closed-doors behavior to friends, family, the general public

b) Driven mad by this kooky music

c) Fanatically committed to excellence on the dance floor

d) Little bit of all of the above...

Yaaaay for VT !!! I was very startled but thrilled to discover that nearby Springfield VT won the contest to host the "Simpsons" movie premiere. Now really, truly , I don't give a rat's arse about the Simpsons movie, nor do I even like the Simpsons in general (I am decidedly a FAMILY GUY fan...you can only be one or the other, y'know...) But it is a victory of sorts for my home state and it makes me very glad. This is how the votes stacked up --

I have no idea what kinda margin we won by, as I am utter crap at mathematics of any kind, but I am impressed at the number of votes we racked up , wee li'l state that we are. The win was a pretty widely reported news item, but I checked it out HERE on the USA Today site (where I stole that graph from..and where I'd voted late yesterday...for VT.... you're welcome!!) where I was rather vexed by all the nasty message board posts...really taking sour grapes to a whole 'notha level. I mean, most of these posters were excessively RABID about this contest...and lots were saying really rotten things about MY lovely state! Grrr!! That makes me doubly, triply, glad we won this thing. Suck on that, you crude, grammatically-challenged miscreants!!

OUCHIE

This anonymous bus boy dude has a CRAAAAAZY conscientious work ethic!! He had better get employee-of-the-month after this or I shall write his bosses a scathing missive of reproach.

And what about that stabber?? Was he aiming there?? If he was...yyyyikesies!! What a whacko!!

damn dirty Wookies

Forgive me nameless Marilyn Monroe impersonator wherever/whoever you are, but I found this news item to be IMMENSELY amusing...

fried frog

This is what I did during our regular Mon morning meeting this a.m. I was still too enshrouded by brain fog to be able to make any verbal contribution and so my reactions & feelings manifested themselves via idle doodling. I can't take FULL credit, though. Lisa was sitting next to me and took the liberty of adding on the cartoony chalk outline (replete w/ police tape) on the ground and the bunny tears. The bunny tears were a nice touch but the other is STOOOOPID. So I reiterate--those were not my doing. If I had the capability of doing color scans, I would, and you would be able to see how the bulk of the doodle is in blue ballpoint ink and those 2 details are rendered in black ballpoint ink.

Wow it is raining like a sonnofabitch right now!!!

now residing in my purse...

The other night, when out shopping, my sister bought me one of these. This company totally undersells their product by calling it a "spork". A spork = FORK + SPOON. But what of the cutting edge on this utensil?? We totally overlooking that?? Why not name it a sporkive or a knispork?? Too silly?? But it would at least acknowledge all functions of the thing. I would've called it a RUNCIBLE SPOON. A popular explanation of what a "runcible spoon" is claims it's a sort of a small spork of yore with a cutting edge on it. Popular or no, said explanation seems to have been totally pulled outta someone's arse, since other works of Edward Lears' mention "a runcible goose" "a runcible hat" a "runcible wall", consequently it seems that the word "runcible" is just some nonsense gobbledygook that Lear pulled outta his arse. Apparently, Lewis Carroll doesn't have a monopoly on that trick. Still, I woulda named this a runcible spoon, rather than the much less whimsical "SPORK"



But anyhow...the copy on the packaging states (and I quote..AHEM...) "The Spork is perfect for your backpack, boat, picnic basket, lunchbox, purse or briefcase". So, being rather susceptible to suggestion, I've been carrying the thang in my (already chockablock) purse. In this regard at least, I'm showing a bit of that perpetual readyness that being in Girl Scouts instilled in me. No matter what comestable I encounter, be it steak or pudding, ham or Spaghetti-Os, I am prepared to annihilate it. Super.

you gotsta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em

know when to walk away, know when to run, etc etc yadda yadda...

Just piping up again in order to share w/ youse guys THIS SITE which my new deck of cards advertised and I checked out in the hopes of finding the rules of 31. I used to play 31 with my Dad and liked it, but I can't really recall how it was played. I think you get 3 cards dealt to you?? It's awful-- the only card game rules I have firmly committed to memory are the rules for Go Fish, Rummy, War, Solataire, and Uno.

No luck tracking down rules for 31 as yet, but I continue to search . . .

interstate critters...

Saturday I was zipping up I-91 and I was startled as I noticed a fluffy white tailed ass trouncing through the tall grass of the median at my left. The good news is that this fluffy white tailed ass was attached to a deer. I mean, if I had just seen some floating, disembodied ass on the side of the road, probably my startlement would have grown into confusion, and fear and my careening into a guard rail or something. But the bad news is...that fluffy white tailed ass belonged to a deer...and if that or any deer decided to leave off its leisurely median grazing and traipse across the road..and commence its traipsing at just the right moment..then...BLAMMMO! There would be no avoiding my mowing the crazy bastard down. I've collided with a deer in the past, it was on Rt5 , not the interstate. I did all sorts of swerving and braking and I still hit the f*cker. But y'know, if I'd been on the interstate, if I'd have had much less response time (travelling at my usual 67-70 mph) to even try any evasive maneuvers and even if I did have the chance to brake and /or swerve, it would've likely caused a pile-up.
So that freaked me out a bit. I even took the long way home (avoiding the interstate) later that afternoon.

Today I saw a woodchuck on the hill beside the Exit 9 exit ramp. This charmed rather than alarmed me. I know woodchucks are not stupid or spazzy enough to bolt in front of a moving vehicle. I stuck my arm out the window and pointed at it emphatically, in the hopes that the dude in the pickup who took Exit 9 after me would take note of Mr Woodchuck and be likewise delighted.

once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart...

The other night, on my way home from work, Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" came on the radio. And it happened to come on at the point in the commute where I'm driving slllllooowwwly through town (abiding by the 25mph speed limit, y'know. I sure as hell cannot afford a speeding ticket!!) but I had to sing along (and give that sing-along my ALL) nonetheless. That song is just too fun to belt out. Of course, I have no delusions that I sing well . I suppose my "Turn around, bright eyes!" parts were serviceable but I totally butchered the whole rest of the song.

As I was singing, I was thinking of this impending show The Singing Bee. I don't think I can bring myself to watch that. I have this problem of hyper-empathy when I watch tv... I can't watch people embarrass themselves. Oh, I can watch all manner of gore and violence, but when someone ever so slightly makes an ass out of themselves, I cringe and change channels. Like the prelim try-outs on American Idol ( all the lousy singers who think they're talented) I just can't watch that. Well, actually, I don't watch Idol at all, but I find the train wreck try-outs EXTRA offputting. But those episodes have proven to be a BIG draw w/ US viewers...so apparently there is a large contingent of TV viewers out there whose attitude is totally contrary to mine (crazy..but it's true!)

Vermonty Python

This is the Ben & Jerry's flavor that I picked up tonight at Price Chopper. It is RIDICULOUSLY yummy. Coffee Liqueur ice cream with swirls of chocolate cookie crumblies and fudge cows. SO good. It seems to me that Ben&Jerry flavors are a bit like TV shows nowadays. Networks will put out new shows and viewers just cannot accept these in their own time, they have to latch on to them voraciously from the start or the fledgelings will never prosper. It's long been that-a-way with new B&J ice cream flavors. You can't just like such & such a flavor, you must really advocate it (or it will be soon yanked from your grocer's freezer case and discontinued FOREVER)

So not that I don't buy enough Ben & Jerry's (especially in the summer) to singlehandedly keep my fave flave (flaves really, I WISH I could honestly attest to have one singular favorite) afloat, but this is my official advocacy of Vermonty Python Ben & Jerry's. This is me generating word-of-mouth buzz. Buzz buzzz buzzzzz....go out and buy you some!!

fireworks!!!!

I loooove fireworks. I'm getting excited to see some. Today I tracked down this article and emailed it to a bunch of my amigos. I particularly enjoy the "Fireworks Field Guide" at the bottom of the article's 1st page.
^^Pictured here is a "Palm" type of fireworks

shell...check out the article and learn the 8 other types!


I had this funny notion in my head of watching this year's 4th of July fireworks display with a real air of erudition. As everyone around me is brainlessly "OOooohing" and "Aaaaahing" in awe, I would do a prissy golf clap (or is it a theater clap?? I'm not sure, but y'all know what I mean-- a real aristocratic fancy clap w/ right hand immobile) and shout things like: "I say! Exquisite roundel, my good man!!" "Ahh yess- inspired juxtaposition of chrysanthemum and serpentine!"

That would also be a good opportunity to wear a monocle and/or excuse to buy those opera glasses I've been coveting....

tweet tweet

As much as I dislike actual birds, it's odd how I enjoy birds as decorative touches (to clothes, furnishings, etc)





I am especially enthralled with this knife rest I found on the Victorian Trading Co website.





Yes, a knife rest. I'm drawn to the notion of a knife rest. Such specificity of purpose. I like antiquated gadgetry, with such narrow and obsure niches...like rotary phone dialers &things of that nature...

The birdies are sweet though. Also I like cartoon owls... they are sooo much more delightful than REAL owls, which are damn creepy.

odd news...

I feel bad for this woman ... it sounds like her local Mickey D's crew is a congregate of tactless degenerates. I won't lie... I would certainly be a bit "taken aback" if I encountered this woman, but I would try to exercise a bit of poise and not be a total insensitive jackass.
Though I am rather curious as to how exactly she drives a car...

I have sort of a indifference/hatred relationship with birds. There are no birds I actually like, at best there are birds I find tolerable. We were discussing this this a.m. and I said that the only birds I actually liked were like, Big Bird or Woodsy Owl... but then Lisa very callously informed me that neither were real birds. So consequently, I don't like any birds (there are some I even HATE...yeah I'm talking to you filthy seagull bastards) Anyways, due to my strained relationship with the entire avian class, this news item didn't really trouble me much. In fact, I sort of blame the "charmed customers" who were feeding it bread. This results in a peacock that is not only lacking the natural reticence that birds should have, but may even be overly solicitous of restaurant patrons. And then you get this dude, he may or may not have a preexisting aversion to birdies, he's quite possibly a bit barmy and /or abusing mind-altering substances. Now this bird (a peacock, no less, not quite what you expect to see in the BK parking lot) gets all up in his grill...jonesin' for his onion rings . The ensuing man-peacock violence seems unavoidable.