take this yob and chuv it, beeyotch

Again I am perusing the news and latching onto --not the items that have long-term and/or international import-- but the quirkier bits. I love this tale of Steven Slater.

Of course, my immediate reflex is to applaud Mr Slater. My gut response is that this move was all sorts of awesome. But some story I read (or maybe that vid I embedded? I can't recall..) makes the point that deploying the emergency shute early could've potentially injured tarmac crew. That makes me think that maybe punishment for Slater is not such a ludicrous notion. Also, what was the tone of the rant? If it was a hollering, top-of-the-voice, spittle-spraying rant, then, even if it was directed at one rude bitch, I can see how it might upset the other passengers. This is going to make me sound like a bit of a wuss, but I get scared when there's somebody yelling at somebody else. Even if I have nothing to do with it. A real life example for ya-- last month I went to NYC with 2 friends, 1 of which had this teeensy little bladder that perpetually required emptying. I swear, in the gigantic metro, the only bathrooms we could find were in Starbucks. It would seem we weren't the only ones...HUGE lines for the loo!! So I was waiting with A in one of these lines, and on the other side of this divider screen (sitting at this little table in the front window, just to the left of the door/vestibule area) was this scruffy lookin' fellah/ probable vagrant. He was very much enjoying the AC I take it, because whenever anyone lingered with the door open for the slightest instant (holding the door for another of their party, perhaps) he would yell, top volume "SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR, MOTHERFUCKER!!" Now, typing about it now, a whole month later, it just seems kinda funny...maybe a little sad when you ponder the socioeconomic elements...but mostly funny. But at the moment I was...quite nervous.

See, my reasoning is this (and we're going to add a hearty dash of "paranoid" to my wuss rep here..) you really don't know when somebody's going to pull a Glock and render you collateral damage. So you should be on your guard. Seriously. No, I don't watch a lot of action movies. Really, I don't.

Well, I've digressed a bit. I'm just pointing out that if Steven Slater had the fury cranked up to the max, he might have spooked a number of perfectly polite passengers that didn't have it coming. But really, I have a feeling that this "tirade" was of the sassy, 4-snaps-in-a-Z-formation variety. And that's just good times ...even for skittish ol' me. And the "possible danger to tarmac crew" thingie? Well that's just me playing devil's advocate there. Coulda hurt someone...but it didn't. I'm not one of the mindless hoardes that's crowing "Oh, he should get off scot-free! He's a hero! He should get his job back! And a raise! And a ticker tape parade!!" I know that sounds dumb...but it is being said...and I think that about 1/3 of those remarks are utterly in earnest. OK, he is a bit of a folk hero... obviously rather low down on the heroism scale, certainly ranked 'neath them ones that heft overturned semis off of toddlers and whatnot. But you really can't pull a stunt like that and retain your job/ get your job back. Thems the breaks. And I don't think it would be unreasonable to hit him with a wee fine for possible coworker endangerment. But beyond that, I don't think this guy needs to be punished. One of these news stories (again, I can't recall which) said charges against him could result in up to 7 years imprisonment??? That's nucking futs. I know dropping the "7 years" in there was just good dramatic reporting, but really, any imprisonment is uncalled for, in my opinion.

Shades of Shizer

I BING searched the word shizer, because I wanted to grumble--via my FB wall-- that the results of Last Comic Standing were total BULL SHIZER. I think "bullshit" is every bit as played out as the word "cool". I do realize that there are many, many thousand overutilized words out there in the mouths of the masses, but certain ones I feel more keenly than others. Namely, "cool" and "bullshit". So often I'll opt for "bull shizer" rather than "bull shit" --it's not terribly clever, no, but it's incrementally less trite. Anyways, everytime I opt to use "shizer" in print, I second guess the spelling. And you know I cannot bear imperfect spelling (hence the aforesaid Bing search). Anyways, one of the search results (down low on the page) mentions a Kaiser von Shizer and that amused the hell out of me. Sometimes I am just amused by funny sets of rhyming words...stupid, I know. Like in one of MAD magazine's margin doodles from a 1988 or 89 issue they had a little picture of a booth labelled "Afghanistan Banana Stand" and that's amused me for like 20 yrs now. But "Kaiser von Shizer"..haaa!!... that may just top it. I didn't dare click on the link of course. It was something on YouTube and the last thing I wanna be watching on my computer is some sick poop fetishist's handiwork. No siree, Frank. I save that sort of viewing for my work PC. JUST KIDDING. Oh gag. Just the notion that those people are out there. ..ugh. Y'know, I read a news story back in 2005 that really stuck with me...I mean, I don't mean to pass over vitally important world / political news in favor of everything bizarro...it's not my intent anyways, but I just wind up doing that. Being a Fark fan, that'll happen. Oh, yes, the 2005 news story...well here it is, plus its un-fucking-believable epilogue, where the nut is picked up A SECOND TIME for lurking in the below-deck cucca swamps of an outhouse. How. fucking. disgusting.
Okay, quick topic switch to automotive matters while you try to curb your uncontrollable gagging. I don't live in a high crime area by any means but I ALWAYS lock my car. My Dad asked me one day, jokingly, "What are you worried about? Someone stealing your car?" The joke there is that my car at the time--this was years ago-- was an embarrassing heap of junk. Actually, my present car is a likewise heap of junk. At any given time, it's a safe bet to presume that my vehicle is more junky than not. But anyhooo, my response to my Dad's jibe...I sez to him I sez "I don't really care if anyone steals my car. I just don't want anyone lay down and hide in the back and then pop up and slit my throat when I get in my car." (this remark alarmed my Dad and he said I should get a gun...he is nothing like the Mom in Christmas Story... crazy sumbitch...luckily I have the damn good sense to know that I'd shoot my eye out) Anyways, I was only 3/4 kidding with that comment. I don't know if I read a news story about sneaky vehicular Columbian neckties, but the phenom got planted in my head somehow. I rather suspect it was from one of those awful fecking safety PSA chain emails--gawwwd those are horrid. Well I want to make clear that I don't live paralyzed by the fear of such an attack. Yes, it is one of the myriad reasons I do lock my car . But it's a smaller factor in the decision than my HUGE fear of getting my iPod swiped. But everytime I get in my car , I cast a glance in the backseat. And of course--of course!!--I never see anybody there. And I don't really expect to. But I always look.

When that grody turd burglar got arrested for the 1st time, (both of his, errr, indiscretions happening in neighboring NH, I was displeased to note) it was when a 14 yr old girl entered the outhouse and..looked in the hole and...SPOTTED SOMEONE LOOKING BACK!! I feel like I should bellow that line with a flashlight uplighting my face because ...AAGH!! Forget the dude on the car roof with the hook or however that one goes...that is fecking TERRIFYING!! And so... much like my habitual backseat check...I always glance down the rabbit hole in the portapotty. I know! Grody!! I don't fucking want to! And I think maybe 40% of it is a warped reaction to this interior chant of "Don't look behind you don't look behind you don't look behind you stare at the door stare at the door don't look behind you don't look behind you.." that's playing in a loop inside my head. And it's 60% checking for scat-fiends (not ones that are singing scat, necessarily. I hadn't thought of that-- but oh mah word what a perfect storm of horrific that would be!!)

I went to a craft fair this weekend with my friend Roxanne and the line for el bano was hellah long. I kinda had to pee, but I got in line for 10 seconds and then I abandoned the line and was like, baah, eff it. I can be a pee camel and hold it ...lines bore me...I don't hafta go that bad. So moments later, Rox and I are walking to the lot where she parked (we had to park soooo effing far away this year!! ) and on the way out of the fairgrounds, there was a couple of portapotties--no lines, no waiting. I will say this, in favor of portapotties-- I like the dial that you turn to lock the door, how, when locked, there is an indicator proclaiming "OCCUPIED" to the world. That way all sane people can be spared from accidentally turd burgling, and you won't have any unexpected visitors while you concentrate on the back of that door and not breathing and not falling over while you conduct biz in that awful awkard hover squat. So, short story way too damn long, I did avail myself of the portapotty yesterday, and I exited gagging profusely and this made Roxanne laugh at me. And I said "I made the mistake of looking" And she said "Oh I always look. IT'S GROSS." WTF?


Speaking of shizer...the final outcome of this season of Last Comic Standing was total bullshizer. Ok, ok, weak segue (segues that begin "speaking of..." generally are weak) but I'd like to wrap up here on a note that doesn't make me wanna yarf. It occured to me that I was actually watching LCS like my Dad watches NASCAR. Like he actually jumps out of his chair and woohoos if a driver he dislikes runs into the wall. SHAMEFUL want of decorum there. But I was kinda like that tonight. I SWORE AT THE TV when Tommy Johnagin lost. He was an awesome comic and totally shoulda won. But, I said repeatedly, even before the outcome was announced. "I really want Tommy to win. But he won't. America never votes for who I think should win." This is historically founded fact... every competition show I watch, the person I root for LOSES. Often they come close to the win, but they invariably do lose. You'd think this would give me a complex, make me doubt my concept of funny or something but nope. I further bellowed "America never votes for who I'm rooting for because America is fucking stupid." I don't mean all of America is stupid. But a vast majority...they want plebeian humor that's hollering and humping their leg. The lowest common denominator. And therefore, I just knew that Felipe Esparza was going to win . Pathetic. Siiiigh.

tube titter

Summer TV sux. Which is a good thing, I suppose. If there's ever a season to haul your fat arse offa that couch, it's gorgeous, glorious summer. I guess if you gotta veg out in the summer, go catch a movie, and you can also bask in some arctic AC at the same time. BONUS. Or the drive-in. I love the drive-in, but I swear, I'm going to rent a projector and do my own drive-in because everytime I am jonesin' to go to the drive-in (and I have 2 within a 40min. drive radius.. a third option--a 4 screener-- if I wanna drive another hour )I look at the listings and they are playing shitty, shitty movies. Stuff I wouldn't watch if it was playing on the inside o' my eyelids.
OK, well, sometimes they're playing 1 worthwhile movie along with 1 crap movie. But I cannot bring myself to pay the double feature price (affordable though it may be) to watch 1 movie. That's my Scot 1/4 possibly...

But back to TV... there's a few exceptions to the summertime small screen suckiness. I make it a point to regularly tune in to these exceptions. First up is Monday night on NBC: Last Comic Standing. I've looong been a fan of this show, and it pains me to say: this is the worst season yet. I mean, I still watch it, because even really bad LCS is still pretty good (it's like pizza in that way) but it just doesn't compare well with seasons of yore. I do like Craig Robinson as host. That was one change for the better. But I'm bummed that they ditched their old format. They used to come up with a final 12 through a series of auditions & a semifinal and then those dozen comics lived together in a house and every show that got some oddball challenge. For instance, in the last season (when that horrid Iliza won and that ADORABLE Jeff Dye was on) they did a challenge in a Bed Bath & Beyond store where they had to do an impromptu set of prop comedy (Carrot Top type schtick). They did stuff like that for 4 or 5 episodes and then pared it down to a final 3 that faced off in a standup showdown final. I MISS that format. Aside from the shitty format switcheroo, I'm also disappointed in the crop of comics they got. I really like Tommy Johnagin, and Roy Wood Jr is growing on me, but the rest: mehhh.

I'm VERY stoked that Project Runway has started up again. I do like this Gretchen...when she was talking about her style & portfolio, my ears pricked up, I was all: "ooh-wee! You had me at 70s aesthetic!!" And now Gretch has won 2 challenges in a row. I really did think she deserved it on the 1st show (lovely dress... I very much liked it) but I dunno about that jumpsuit. I liked the jumpsuit, but liked Valerie's dress more and I think it would've made for a better billboard. Speaking of injustices from Ep. 2, why the hell was Nicholas cut? I agree, that that blouse was stupid looking, but it was well made and even if he was misguidedly over-the-top with his get-up (I actually liked the skirt he did, and it looked good w/ that belt) it was still creative and well-made and I think that should have saved him for another week. I mean, if they absolutely HAD to do a double elimination, it shoulda been Peach & Jason. I think they just want to keep P around to appeal to the AARP set for another week or so (because, c'mon, she's bound to be cut soon, right??) I thought her polka dot dress was rather chintzy looking. Jason's elimination was righteous though. I had been routing for him to get the axe last week. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the whimsical bowler, but nevertheless, the dude was out of his league. I mean, he couldn't finish a garment, when all he was doing was reworking a kimono, by turning the sonofabitch backwards (oooh! mega-innovative!!) But even more unbearable than his lack of talent was his pissing & moaning that the judges didn't get him and how he deserved to be cut some slack because he's from tha streets, man. No, give me a break. So far I'm undecided on my fave. I like Gretchen , and I spotted some stuff from AJ's portfolio that intrigued me, even if AJ does seem a mite bitchy.

After Runway, I am so glad they got rid of that model-centric show that I never watched . I don't need to have ever watched it to know unequivocably that it wasn't as good as the magnificent "On the road with Austin & Santino". LOVE IT!!

Before watching it, I was a little miffed that Austin got top billing (as I am more of a Santino fan) but I got over that quickly enough. I had forgotten how very funny Austin was (though I still like Santino more). He was cracking me up in the 2nd episode, playing with those porcelain figurines as if they were Barbies. He is very strange and alien looking though. And holy shit , he needs a sandwich.... or 10. When did Santino become such a sweetheart? Like, he was really funny on Runway (he's still funny) but even while being a clown he was simultaneously the "Eff off, I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS" guy as well. That's why he became a fave of mine, perhaps. He's an interesting melange of elements. But now he's VERY friendly. And sweet natured. Not that that's a bad thing, it just surprised me. I guess because he's no longer in a competition he can now give free reign to his natural sweetness . Or maybe he's gotta be that way, if he wants to be an effective makeover fairy godfather.

I beg your pardon. . .MA'AM

Our agency has a new employee orientation at the start of every month. I spotted this new hire on Monday, the first day of orientation, and remarked to myself (in my head...I aim to keep my audible talking to myself at a minimum when at the office) that this guy looked exactly like the teenage boy on Two and a Half Men. I don't know if you watch Two and a Half Men (I don't) but even if you don't, it's probable that you've seen this kid
pop up in something you've seen. He's fairly ubiquitous. I don't know if it's just for his sitcom character, but it seems to me like his default facial expression is dim + sulky . This aforementioned orientee definitely has that look going on.
At work, one of my gigs is to pack the nurse bags & aide bags for dispensing at orientation. So for a coupla weeks before orientation, I have a list of new hires' names (and 1/4 of the time, it's actually accurate!) I'd seen that one of the new PCAs we were taking on was a male, so that was him I figured. It's always rare--and therefore noteworthy--for the VNA to take on men (I don't, for the record, think there's any discrimination goin' on..the men just ain't applying) and even rarer for them to hire on young men. Oh and this does NOT mean I was scoping this guy out ( I hasten to add)! The dim+ sulky 15 yr old look is not my cup o' tea (certainly not, I like 'em brighteyed & perky..in the Bieber mold of underage dreamboats. Haa) But I was just taking an interest in having a celeb (quasi celeb) doppleganger in our midst. Speaking of which, our Hospice director looks quite a bit like Oliver Platt, I've always thought. He's working on sprouting a beard now and that has downplayed the Platt-ness considerably.

Anyways, day 3 of orientation I noticed some dissimilarities that saved the rookie from being a total clone. Namely..boobs. * Yeah, it was more rainy & dreary than HOT on Monday & Tuesday, so Angus was wearing a sweatshirt. Yesterday was a smidge too stifling for a sweatshirt so she went with a fitted tee instead. No, these were not moobies. It was totally a she-rack. This teenage boy look alike is a girl!! How unfortunate. She really oughtta rethink that hairdo.

*I feel compelled to mention that I DO know that "Namely boobs" is not a valid sentence according to the laws of grammar, but I felt like it had too much rhetorical flair to be fixed.

For the record, I don't have my nose in my laptop ALL day long. I also set aside some time for couch tatery. And I do enjoy communing with nature, which sounds daft and New Agey, I realize. Still, "spending time outdoors" feels like off verbage, because that could be construed as me being "outdoorsy" an adjective that I think connotes kayaking and mountain climbing, and while I suspect both activities are worthwhile, I don't partake in either. Not my bag. Too exercisey.

For some reason that has yet to dawn on me, I always find myself picking berries. Whatever's in season really, like I know what hills the wild strawberries grow on, (these have gone by, they peaked back in June, then the black raspberries came & went in July) and go check how the "crops" are (this is just wild growing stuff, I am not engaging in any manner of legal or illegal agriculture)and pick as many as I can. Right now it's blackberries. I got thoroughly perforated the other day picking blackberries (got some nice ones though) I was pondering, while delicately trying to creep through the sharp pricky branches, why blackberry bushes even have prickers. I mean, I don't know a lot about agriculture or botany or whatever, and by "not a lot" I mean NADA. But it seems like there is functionality present in the design of most all plant life. So WHY the ouchy thorns? Why stave off potential pickers/ gnoshers? I think it is beneficial for the plant for its ripe berries to be picked rather that just having them wither and dry up on the bush. So what the wha, blackberry bushes? You just don't wanna give up the berries easy...you're not slutty like them strawberry plants, eh?

I don't know why, but I always think of picking blackberries as a very French Canadian thing to do. This isn't linked to any preexisting ethnic stereotypes (that I know of) but it's simply because my Pepere's (my paternal grandfather...my Dad's side of the fam is 1000% Québécois) ad-libbed stories pretty much always started out with 2 anonymous little girls (stand ins for my sister and I) picking blackberries. Pretty much always they encountered a bear. I think the only variant was in their means of elusion/defense/escape. Also, when I get a whole lot of blackberries, my Dad will eat them on bread with sugar on them (a treat his father used to eat) and he calls that a miteau. I don't know that it's spelled like that, because I've never had my dad or Pepere spell it. I tried checking online for miteau, meteau, mito, even "blackberry bread sugar" , "blackberries, sugar, bread, Canada" and "blackberries on bread with sugar Canada" and...yeah, nothin'. I've binged the hell outta this sumbitch and basically the internets are telling me that this is a snackie my grandfather made up and slapped a French sounding made-up name on. Oh, I did learn that Miteau is a fairly common French surname, so maybe he named it after somebody.
Could it be that no one in Quebec uses the internet? Or is Bing anti-Quebecois and I should take my quest to Google? Damn, I would hate to have to boycott Bing. I've made it my search engine of choice, and I really dig their picture-of-the-day thingie they do!!

vids that make me laugh

Was thinking of how I could go for a viewing of Peewee's Big Adventure again. I just love that movie. Why I suddenly have it on the brain is cuz I have a friend on Facebook, a high school classmate of mine, who just recently moved his family to San Antonio, TX. He wrote on his wall this morning, something about trying to decide what to do for the day. Well, to be specific, he wrote: "maybe off to the riverwalk. maybe the zoo. maybe the alamo. maybe seaworld. maybe just stay here cuz i can't figure out what i want to do" And reflexively, I just wanted to comment "I warn you: there is NO BASEMENT in the Alamo" but I had to withhold & suppress that response because I assure you, he does not strike me as the type of guy that would catch a Peewee's Big Adventure allusion (nor would many of his friends, I'll wager). And so, if I had typed that, it woulda just come off as some sort of weirdo cryptic code of sorts. So I refrained. And that's why I have Peewee's Big Adventure on the brain. It's like idea reflux.
Anyways, this is a very brief snippet of PBA, nothing to do with the Alamo's basement (or lack thereof) but one of my fave bits.

I can't hear "Jimmy Crack Corn" without that scene springing to mind. Haaa.

Okay, one of my favorite audio funnies from this page is the "Trololo" button (center yellow button, row 7) I just fancied that little snippet, but had no prior knowledge of this jackpot of insanity that it was culled from--

　Ok, first of all, pal, I don't think you of all schmendricks should be pointing & laughing at me (approx 1:55). This was on some Russian variety show of the late 60s and the amazing thing is...I think this was TOTALLY IN EARNEST. It seems improbable, I know. How can you hear that sound coming out of your borscht-hole and not find it (and yourself) ridiculous--nay, reDONKulous?

This next one is rather more contemporary. I just stumbled onto it today. I gotta say, I am not all that keen on the broad rubbing cutlets on her cutlets, but I think this rap is very clever. Not just clever, but catchy too.

It could just be that I dig this because they very capably incorporate "broccoli" not once, but twice. Brav-O. It's an established fact that I appreciate any song that features broccoli

　

　

my big fat yap

Yesterday I inadvertently dissed the counter guy at McDonalds. It was a subtle diss, and it may have escaped his notice, but I immediately felt like a bitch for it. I had gotten a vanilla cone (quick parenthetical editorial:: plain cones, I have ruled, are the very best cone style. Not that sugar cones or waffle cones are yucky –they certainly are not—but plain cones are the best. Y’know the clinching factor—it’s the grid section at the base of the the cone, where the ice cream seeps down into and you wind up with perfect cone > ice cream integration. The only edge that waffle cones have is that they hold a mega buttload of ice cream…but I’m going to rule in favor of plain cones nevertheless) and he was doling out my change. He paused in the middle of this transaction and says “Have you seen the new penny??” He says this all eager-like—either I have the look of an avid numismatist or he is one…or both. Anyways, he shows me one of these coins (looks like this ) and I respond “ Looks like a seal for Justice League” And he said “That’s what I said!!” In retrospect, I see that I could have, and should have, let him have the last word here. But for some odd reason, I felt it incumbent upon me to produce a response of some kind. So I said “OH.” It’s not so much what I said as how I said it. In that singular syllable, I very clearly conveyed how I felt about our newfound concord. Disappointment could be heard, certainly, but the more discerning ear could pick out the more nuanced undertones of "ohmilord If I am mentally simpatico with this schlomo than my q rating has gotta be lower than I thought..SUB-subterranean" -brand disappointment. As soon as I heard the "Oh" I felt bad about it. I'd not intended to be a snotty bitch. But there were no reparations to be made.. . one of those situations where further discourse would just botch things even more. What do you say? "Oh, I didn't mean to infer via my tone that you are some kind of dork loser. Oh, NO, sir!!" I had the good sense to shut my trap at that juncture. I grabbed my cone, and my .17 cents and bolted.

Maybe it was due to yesterday's accidental snobbery that I found myself so chatty today. I think, more often than not, I keep to myself. But every so often I surprise myself with these days where I feel like blasting total strangers with a max dose of wit and charm. I think the outcome of that Psych 101 quiz I took many moons ago (CSC freshman year, specifically) was on the mark..I am an ambivert. Well, I think I part of the reason I was extra-amiable towards the W B Mason sales rep I met with was that he was young, apparently single*, and not too shabbly aesthetically. But I had to be making amends for yesterday when I opted to chat up the unicycle guy in the parking lot. There was no romantic ulterior motive there, I assure you. Though there is something liberating in having a unicyclist in your parking lot to chat up. I made this corny joke , which he didn't even get , yet not only did I not have any corny-joke regret, there was none of that uncertainty that naturally accompanies talking to strangers. Not that I'm shy...but if you totally don't know a person, there's no way of knowing if striking up an unsolicited convo is going to evoke a mean "why the fuck you talkin' to me??" type reaction. But dude was on a unicycle for chrissakes. I don't think surly people ride unicycles, and besides: isn't riding a unicycle in a public area a sort of invitation for comment anyway??

*this means I spotted no wedding ring. But really you can't go on that as an indicator of fair game anymore. This dude--a ring-free dude-- at Staples who was answering my questions on a laptop uttered the words "my fiancee" about a dozen times.. I mean, we were looking at a laptop that was the same brand as the one HIS FIANCEE owns and he was talking of his personal experience of the brand. So there *was* context. But still, his verbage...it just seemed like he used the phrase excessively...like he could've trotted it out there initially and then proceeded with the easier pronoun "she". But he said it quite alot and that made me suspect that I had been eyeing him like a fattie looks at a Twinkie. I very well mighta been.

until they make" Major Dad: the Movie" this will hafta do

this movie looks like it will be all SORTS of kick ass--

So that jibe about "Major Dad:the Movie" was in jest. I would, however, be game for a movie version of Simon & Simon. Though I INSIST that they retain and prominently feature the original theme song. The Simon y Simon opening credits music is one of the best instrumentals ever. It just makes me happy and makes me want to dance like a drunk uncle at a wedding reception (y'know, all bouncy knees & wild elbows) (OK, OK, if you're straining your brain trying to recollect what the eff I'm on about, well strain thyself no further)

But back to "Get Low" The sole unfortunate thing about this flick (from my initial impression anyway) is that the two words of that title calls to mind countless ass-wobbling hip hop anthems and the lower-bod dexterity tests they incited on the dance floor. Not really synching up with the apparent tone of the movie. But other than that, it looks utterly awesome-sauce. Bill Murray is the cat's jammies, I used to adore Lucas Black from way back in his American Gothic days (I loved that show! "Someone's at the door!!") And of course, Bobby Duvall is always a solid performer (hey, we lunch together, I'm perfectly within my rights to address him thusly) The movie (at least the glimpse I got from the trailer) has a sepia feelin' to it, and that reminds me lots of "O Brother Where Art Thou" (a FAAAAVE of mine) though I don't think this movie will be quite so comical as O Brother. I just really dig that whole aesthetic just the same.

And yes, it is a bonus to see Gerald McRaney in the mix there. It's an unexpected twist. I get an odd thrill out of seeing arbitrary obscurities pop up somewhere you're not expecting them. And I guess that's an easy reaction to get outta me because, you're never really expecting to see Gerald McRaney anywhere are you? I don't want this to sound like I don't think he's good, that is not what I'm saying at all. He's just not exactly monopolizing the cultural consciousness nowadays, eh? And I like that...one sure tires of all the A-listers .It can be refreshing to have someone from the shadows of stage left photo-bomb into the sphere of spotlight. Another example: generally I do not give a baker's fuck about any fare that can be classed as an "action movie". However, I've kinda been eyeing "The Expendables" with some interest. Why? DOLPH LUNDGREN. He's in the movie AND cropping up on the poster. His name, while not right up top, is about in the middle and in BIG PRINT. Decent! Though I can't say the Dolph Lundgren factor would delight me enough to persuade me to pay to see a flick like The Expendables. Oh, but if somebody else wants to buy me a ticket, I'll certainly show up. I love me some cineplex popcorn!!

one of my fave bands in the news

I don't know what I think about this news story. I mean, I suppose as a model, or , one-time model, you want to be paid for your work, even if your work is mouldering away unseen for nigh on 30 years. But this broad is suing for 2 MILLION dollars, her argument being that --

"the album design, in which the Photograph is featured prominently, was a substantial factor in generating recognition and buzz for the Contra album, thus increasing sales and profits."

What-EV, lady. I loved Vampire Weekend's first album and was eagerly awaiting a follow up. I would have sought out Contra even if the cover had been a dead rat in a pile of pig vomit.

If her signature was really forged on a release document, then YES that is bad. But how were the fine fellahs of Vampire Weekend to know that wasn't a legit signature? (of course I give them the benefit of the doubt, I adore them) If she makes any loot with this moneygrubbing litigious endeavor, I say it should come from the pockets of this photographer or his agency.

Well this whole subject gives me a fine excuse to post this, which I love lots---

These guys are playing a show in Holyoke MA in September. I kinda want to see them, but it depends on how much $$$ tickets are. I mean, as much as I gush over 'em, I can only really sing along to 1/3 of any given Vampire Weekend song. I feel like, to shill out 100 bucks for a concert ticket, one ought to be , how you say.."hardcore"? And the minimum requirement for hardcore status, I believe, is to be able to sing along accurately to EVERY song. I hardly measure up..

EXCLUSIVE!!!

I gotta post this video here, because my friend Andrea would give me hell if I put it up on Facebook. And I'd hate to waste it (all glorious 37 seconds of it)

I went with pals into NYC this past Saturday. This was our emerging from Penn Station into the magnificent metro...

Weird thought I had at work today

The cleaning crew left a giant wheeled garbage can in the hallway outside the supply room (the very supply room that I go in and out of constantly throughout the day) and after my 3rd trip past it, I mused: I could hide in there, I could take some paper wrapping from our last McKesson shipment, pull it over the top of me and no one would know I'm in there. But then I thought of the down side of no one knowing that I'm hiding in the garbage-- half eaten taco salads raining down on my head and the like. And so I thought : It's too bad I couldn't hide in there, and then have Mr Bundles come in and wheel me away to freedom like he did for Annie. Except Mr Bundles doesn't pick up trash, he picks up big carts of laundry, and if I waited for the cleaning crew to wheel me away to freedom, I would have to hunker down in there all day, perhaps suffering the aforementioned taco salads upside the head. And escaping with the laundry is not a feasible option, as our laundry is brough over to Kleen drycleaners (not picked up) with NO predictable regularity...Larry collects it all in a ginormo-sized buff plastic trash bag and hauls it over there himself. It would not particularly trouble me that Larry would throw his back out on account of the bag of dirty bags unexpectedly being 1000x heavier than usual, but it would suck that the additional weight of moi would be DEAD weight, what with my having asphyxiated from hiding in a garbage bag and all.

Eventually I did flee to freedom, and had a hankering for a cheeseburger and so currently am at a McDonalds, polishing off a Happy Meal. I should have foregone the Happy Meal and ordered a Unbearably HILARIOUS meal like the dude at the booth behind me ordered. He is on the seat attached to mine, (we're seated back-to-back) and since he sat down there, the bench has been quaking almost nonstop. Since the shakes are *sometimes* coinciding with jests his companion is making, then I am presuming it's humor-induced, laughter-related quaking. I don't hear any laughs, but not everyone has a booming guffaw. I mean, shit, if he's NOT laughing over there, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him....

How bizarre is this??
Actually gets more bizarre: the new development on this project is that they added Micki Dolenz to the cast. Don’t get me wrong, Dolenz has always been my fave Monkee. And, nevertheless, I gotta question the thought process behind casting that dude in anything. It’s either that he’s the only one trying out for the part (which is hard to believe…you could populate a mid-size country with all the struggling actors waiting tables out there) OR producers are deliberately striving for that kitsch effect.

H & G

Me surveying my finished peeps in my workshop/parent's garage...

I have got to shake this dumbass tendency I have to provide background narration of "HMMMM hmm hmm hmmmmm" It's like I feel that running commentary is a must, but I can't really think of any worthwhile comment at times, and so I go with "HMMM hmmm humm hummmm"

Dear Ralph Macchio...

I'm sorry that I used to scoff at my cousin Denise when she used to buy Tiger Beat because you were on the cover. I'm sorry that I found you underwhelming / uninteresting when you were on (RIP) Ugly Betty. This video is all I need to convince me that I have misjudged you; you are, in fact, all sorts of rad

Wax On, F*ck Off with Ralph Macchio from Ralph Macchio

mystery pic

One of my 2010 wall calendars is of Art Nouveau paintings. Some of them I find not so Art Nouveau-ish, but most of the selections are pretty lovely. I particularly liked April, I liked it so much, that I left it up thru most of May. May was about 3/4 through when I took the calendar down and scanned the April pic. But I was very disappointed that *nowhere* on the calendar is the artwork's name or creator mentioned.

Anyways, without further blather, the mystery pic---

Hey kiddies. If I've seemed a smidge derelict in my blogging duties, blame it on Hansel & Gretel. This past weekend was WHS Alumni Weekend and this year happens to be my 15th alumni year. We had to put a float in the alum parade (parade theme :fairy tales or nursery rhymes). Well, I suppose we didn't **HAVE** to do something for the parade (class of 1985 did absolutely nada for alumni this year.. . .losers) but a small contingent of us felt like we oughtta. A small contingent from a small class...I'm not gonna name names or point fingers (BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!*) but only about 1/6 of our class worked on this thing. It's a good thing we had Phil, who is in the carpentry/construction trade. He pretty much built the candy house on his own. We pitched in on painting & embellishments & such, but he did all the structural work. He was amazing. Liz was the major organizing force (also amazing...and slightly annoying in a way I can't quite articulate). And my assignment was Hansel & Gretel. Liz had talked about using a projector to blow up an image of H&G, then trace that projected image onto big paper, paste the big paper onto cardboard...basically to make cardboard cutout Hansel & Gretel. I'm sure I am partly influenced by the 3D mania that is monopolizing the cinemas these days, but this cardboard cut-out notion struck me as a little lame-ish and shabby. But, instead of pointing at Liz and yelling "LAAAAAME! SHABBY!!!" I just said "Well, can't we do something more 3D, like with papier mache?" To which Liz retorted , "Can you make 2 people out of papier mache?" Ohhhh SNAP. This is why it doesn't pay to contribute to the conversation. And that is how Hansel and Gretel became solely my bailiwick. (not the best verbage that, but bailiwick is a f-ing kickarse word and I was suddenly very compelled to bust it out there)



So I have spent the 1st half of June making papier mache people and then doing general float work on Tues & Thurs nights. Ok, well the people aren't entirely papier mache (only head, arms & legs) if I did 100% papier mache, I suspect I'd still be waiting for that shit to dry. To be utterly precise, Hansel and Gretel were: papier mache, paint, chicken wire, wood, newspapers, brown & white gingham patterned cotton, cheap Family Dollar kiddie shoes spray painted brown, ribbon, brown dyed mop heads, one of my old white tees, Crazy glue, Hot glue, spray adhesive, zip ties and Mighty Putty (not necessarily in that order). I say "were", because a few of us (me, Phil, and Liz...natch) gathered this past Monday night to demolish the float and I put H& G in the cardboard burn pile. My Dad was appalled that I sent them off to their doom. But, like I sez to him, I sez -- I got footage for all posterity of my crafting triumph, I can keep that. What the hell would I do with two 3ft high characters? A little too elaborate to repurpose as doorstops, thems.



So yeah, not only did I shoot a quickie vid of H&G in the garage-workshop that birthed them (just minutes after I'd finished up) , I also have about 4 minutes of group float work (the Fri night before the parade) and also I had my niece film the whole alumni parade (approx 19minutes...seems like 5 min of that being clowns on mini wheelie ATVs) So if you wanna see any of that, lemme know. Say the words and I will post that shit (otherwise, I'll not waste time uploading)

In the afternoon, our class had a small, chillaxed, boozy BBQ, which I popped into after my apres-parade nap. That was nice. And then that night, the all-alumni party at the Mountain. That was marvy. I had the good sense to *not* bring my flip cam to that ( obviously a pretty ginormo potential for disaster in that idea) There were a few, uhhh, snafus. I got in a minor tiff with my sis (but it was minor. . and we made up by the end of the night) I had an embarrassing mudbutt episode in the constantly packed ladies room (but just the one episode...and I camped out in that damn stall, courtesy-flushing away until there came--quite miraculously--a 3 second lull in traffic. Like, I figure it was too minor a crisis for GOD to have intervened, but perhaps a miracle granting apprentice of some sort was at work there. Is there a patron saint of drunken diarrhea, I wonder??) Anyways, overall, it was a hell of a lotta fun. I'm already stoked for next year!! But if my sister asks me to be her DD (will be her 20th year ) then, I'm sorry...feck that...I will be scraping together a taxi fund.

* this parenthetical scorn is futile... as none of my h.s. classmates read this blog. Unless they psychically intuited its existence, that all caps hint of disapproval is totally in vain

LCS--I call BULLSHEIZER!!

Heidy-hooo..anybody out there watching Season 7 of Last Comic Standing?? If you haven't been, you can catch up-- it's only 2 episodes in (though the premier was double length) and the full eps are available on the NBC website. And you *should* catch up-- it is the only MUST must-see TV of the summer (sez ME and I am the authority on good taste)

Anyways, they had some great picks from the NYC auditions--Mike DeStefano was terrific, Kirk Metzger very good. Plus, I was especially pleased that Tommy Johnagin was picked. He's very funny in a smart sort of way, I remember him popping up in a previous season and he was passed over then and I was appalled.

But the travesty of justice I alluded to previously was them not picking Jared Logan. He was excellent in both his try-out and the night's showcase. He kinda reminds me of Sean Cullen, who I thought was so weird & quirky (awesomely so) back in season 6. They could have made room for Logan, I mean, out of the 4 chicks that got picked, only 1 of them was very funny (Jamie Lee). Roy Wood Jr wasn't all that great. Y'know, I really liked all of Logan's material, despite the fact I think I've heard it before. He might have had a Comedy Central special before. I'm just going to presume he's been ousted for being overqualified. Or maybe it's a situation like Jim Norton backing out of season 2 --some kinda contractual obligations..

Bamm on Bam violence and unrelated musings

The assailant in the attack was said to be a white haired cartoon toddler, clad in an orange and black loincloth.

Ok, well if you follow the link, you’ll learn quickly that, NO, this was not a case of Bamm Bamm vs Bam. But that was my initial suspicion when I read the headline. I mean, the motive is there ( moniker theft) and the M.O. absolutely matches. It’s a good thing for the Rubbles that this crazy bat-wielding broad was caught or else Bamm would have to make with a decent alibi. And if he couldn’t. . . THE DIP!!

Ohmigawd, WHAT was the name of that judge that Christopher Lloyd played in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? He was pretty fucking terrifying, that’s fer sure.

Speaking of judges, I was straining at the brain this morning to come up with the real life name of the actor that played the judge on Night Court. I bring this up because I spotted the opportunity for a decent segue, but mostly I mention it to indicate what very arbitrary and unexpected stops My Train of Thought makes. Not at all predictable like route stops on Amtrak or Soul Train (I type “Soul Train” , but in my head I hear “Soooooooooul Train!” like they trill in the opening credits) I was on one of my a.m. bathroom breaks, enjoying the downtime, and by some detour of my Brain Train I was pondering Night Court… there really was some follow-able chain of thoughts that led there (I didn’t jump the rails entirely) but I’ll be damned if I can remember what that was. But anyways, somehow-er-nuther I was thinking about Night Court. I still find the Night Court theme song strangely memorable….which is not to say I like it. It was very saxy, but in a bad way, not in an awesome, Yakety-Sax sorta way As for the show itself, it seems like it was quite popular during its run, but I can’t fathom why, can you? I think people watched it for Bull. He was the Fonzie/ Rerun/ JJ/ Schneider/Kramer etc etc. for that show. I myself, had this 6 month spell where I watched syndicated episodes…it wasn’t because of Bull though…I have no idea what I watched that show for. .What a crappy show. But then again, I’ve lived thru some very questionable TV kicks that I just *cannot* account for : Wishbone, Bananas in Pajamas, Matlock.

Anyways, I kept trying to think of who played that judge, and the name “Harry” kept popping into my head, but then I’d dismiss it thinking: “Nooo no noo, that was the CHARACTER name…what was the ACTOR’S name?? He was in the dumb forgettable TV show based on the life of Dave Barry and he was in IT with John Ritter and Pennywise the clown and a big assorted cast of others….has he done anything lately???oh what is his name??” Of course, when I returned from el bano I promptly looked it up on IMDB and found that—tricky!!--- “Harry” is his real name and his character’s name. (It’s Harry Anderson…like you were yelling 2 paragraphs ago) Whenever they do that on a TV show, and they do it a lot, methinks, I feel like it’s either the writers being lazy with name generation (“Ohhh…we just really can’t come up with another name that fits his face”) or possibly the actor is so helplessly stupid and bad at acting that he will not be able to stay in character when other actors address him by a strange name. Probably that’s not the case most of the time (either scenario…or is it neither scenarion? When I shift in to high-gear rambling my grammar starts to suffer, I’m afraid..) but I just always think that. Of course, there’s Tony Danza…who seems to be Tony in EVERYTHING. But in that case, it’s permissable, because he’s Tony Danza and normal rules don’t apply to him on account of him being all sorts of awesome. When I was in 3rd grade, I wanted to marry Tony Danza when I grew up . Shut up. You know you did too.

In summation: I hate Night Court and I hope Bam Margera is on the mend (and not brain damaged).

{EPILOGUE—I remembered, in the course of all this blathering, how I got to contemplating Night Court: I was thinking of this movie I watched last night (Spring Breakdown—rented it off iTunes. DO NOT waste your money!!) and how astonishingly terrible it was. I was considering whether it was bad enough for me to visit its IMDB page and post a message board post solely to have my repulsion noted. The last time I did that it was for this awful movie that I saw on a bus coming back from Boston and had we not been speeding down the interstate (and instead were travelling <50mph)>) I might have attempted a tuck ‘n’ roll out the emergency exit to escape this turd of a movie. Oh, and that movie was (relevance imminent) Dave Berry’s Guide to Guys. And the crappiness of that made me reflect that Dave Barry seems to have made a nice living out of being not that fresh or insightful or clever (though, I acknowledge that this was just an off-the-cuff, uninformed rogue notion, since I have never actually read any Dave Barry…I suppose I was just taking that movie to be exemplary of his entire oeuvre, and that’s probably unfair of me) and even had a whole sitcom about him in the 90s and who was it in that? Oh his big role was on Night Court…and yadda yadda yadda…you see how the Train of Thought got headed down the aforesaid track, yes?}

My Name Is No Longer Earl

Memphis Beat looks like it may be worthwhile. Methinks it will be refreshing to watch Jason Lee play someone other than Earl Hickey for a switcheroo. I do adore Jason Lee but that sitcom was getting MUCHO STALE.

consumption

I'm trying to drop some elbees, and eat healthier, & what not (yep, yet again..) I was grocery shopping in Price Chopper the other day and not too far from the produce section is this "cheeses of the world" kiosk. I have always been a cheese fan, but OMFG. now that I am trying to..well, not abstain from cheese, but significantly limit my intake, the stuff seems more MAGICAL than ever!!

So I was circling said kiosk like a Great White (the shark, not the band) (haa) and I spied this little brick called Juusto. Oh, marvy! I was then not only trying to resist cheese, but I was trying to resist exotic, unexplored cheese (having never tried Juusto). It was only thru an act of SUPERHUMAN WILLPOWER that I managed not to buy the cheese. Oh yeah, and I summoned up that superhuman willpower by looking at the nutrition facts. I've been doing that a lot lately, I'm afraid (and sometimes it'll knock ya on yer arse!!) I actually don't think the fat & calories of the Juusto were as astronomical as I was expecting them to be, but then I took note that the recommended serving size is a 1" cube. That's redonkulous!!! I know anorexic hummingbirds that eat bigger chunks of cheese!! OK, well there's only one anorexic hummingbird I know (Ralph) and I only saw him eat the cheese that one time, but it was an ENORMOUS piece (camembert, if I recall correctly).

Anyways, I need someone who's tried Juusto to tell me it was actually rather putrid and I'm not missing out on anything. But DON'T lie to me--only tell me that if it's the God's honest truth!!

So in this dietary rehab endeavor, I have enlisted the aid of this secret society that requires me to "journal" what I eat and tally it all up by its points value. (ok so, it's not all that secret a society) . Anyways, I was contemplating whether or not I *really* had to jot down dinner & apps from last night (I went here; their Carne Asada Salad was waaay delish. I recommend it!!) considering the fact that I yarfed it all up at about 1:30 this morning. Today I feel surprisingly good considering how sadistic I was to my poor liver. I was almost refreshed , like my body was saying "Oh hey..we've not done that in a while". But I am not moronic enough to really think my body is so subversive.

ridiculous commercial I just saw

This was just on TV--

--to which I gotta make the obvious wisecrack (everytime I see it...aloud...I really do): That dude has more serious fucking problems than ED to yak about with his doc!! If you're having regular conversations with your reflection like that, you need a check up from the neck up!!Maybe put off your chat about Viagra and ask about some anti-hallucinatory meds, eh??

Fartsy artsy

Yesterday, I was covering the front desk while the receptionist was attending our all-agency meeting. I decided, during this front desk stint, I'd work on one of my "fun" work projects--signage for the bathroom. Larry asked me to make a sign for the bathroom that somehow reminds potty patrons to use the fan if they're going to leave behind a big stink cloud in there. I object to such signage. I mean, you feel bad enough if you stink up the loo, (oh yes, I've been there) you'd don't need someone nagging you on top of it. That's just mean. It just...it... it makes me want to take a shit of defiance in the middle of the floor. Well....ok....I AM overstating my ire a smidge, but it really does vex me. I don't like being micromanaged.

In Larry's defense, he does not care about laying down bathroom law. However some o' the office folk came to him the other day asking that a bigger fan be installed. I know he does all the plunging, but apparently even when there are issues of mere malodor, he's the go-to guy. How lucky is he?

Even if I take issue with the signage, it's a good project, as it requires me to (ever so slightly) flex my creative muscles. Somebody had put a sign in one of the bathrooms previously (that got taken down...*not* by me--I swear!) That said "Don't be one of these...{then a shabby clip art skunk...he really looked more like a badger than anything. But from the context, I got that it was a skunk} Turn on the fan...please!" So, I was disappointed in their lame choice of graphic, and I didn't like people trying to be the boss o' me (there, of all places!!) but that sign had one thing right...RHYMING. If you want people to get a rule ingrained in their noggin for the long run--bust a rhyme. Think about it: "Red sky @ night, sailor's delight" and the one that governs my life: "Beer before liquor never sicker, Liquor before beer-in the clear" and, ohhh, about a ka-JILLION others. So I was tossing about possible rhyming sign verbage but they were all tending toward the uhh, crasser end of the spectrum ("If you stink up the can, turn up the fan" was the nicest I had).

But then I actually got down to designing the thing yesterday a.m, and I ditched the rhyme-plan altogether and went for something high end...

Of course, it was shot down. Dunno if you can read it here, but it reads "Please avail yourself of the fan. Thank you." *I* LIKE the term "avail yourself", but I suppose it's not kosher for general public signage. If I MUST dumb it down then I am scrapping the delightful Victorian ephemera...they're getting black, all-caps block letters on a white background.

As is my custom, I spent the bulk of the all-agency meeting (the later session, that I attended) doodling. I didn't fill the page as much I usually do, since I unfortunately got stuck with a seat close to the front. Here is all that I could manage--

Goode? How 'bout GREAT...

I confess: I'm a suckah for a schmoopy rom-com (provided that neither of the 2 leads irks and/or repulses me...in other words ...well, I'm not namin' names, but that means no "Alex & Emma" or "Fool's Gold" for me)

But prior to renting Leap Year on iTunes the other day, I had no opinion of Matthew Goode one way or t'other. I like Amy Adams though, so I thought I'd give it a go.

I do recommend it (if you like that sort of thing). The funny thing is that Goode plays a dude who's really kind of an asshole. But because he was also RIDICULOUSLY CUTE at the same time, I wound up being totally dismissive of the assholishness. It ain't right, but there you have it. I am a shallow, superficial broad. It is now a matter of record.

Summer Lovin' part deux

I was gonna blog yesterday about how very enthused about summer I am, and the Grease thing was just an opening side-tangent, and then I got carried away on that tangent and then I found myself too tired to keep writing and get around to getting to the point (methought I was gonna do a faceplant on my keyboard!!) So here we go...

I am stoked--nay--MEGA-STOKED for summer. The weather lately has been way hot and I just love it. I think I might love summer more every year.

Here's some mental cud for y'all to gnosh on...

complete this sentence (sincerely, that is. DON'T be a smartass...this isn't Match Game '74 and I am certainly NOT Gene Rayburn...thought I do look quite dashing when brandishing a skinny mic) :

Nothin' makes it feel like summer more than________________

Am also not looking for the obvious, no-brainer answers to that question, ie: "80 degree weather" or "it being June 1st". There's a zillion, subjective, personal indicators of summer, some of them unexpected. Ferinstance... I am very seasonal about tunes... in the summer, there are 2 musical genres I gravitate toward--2 pretty disparate genres. Every summer needs to have at least one bona fide club banger. So I want to listen to those every summer...all the bangin'-est, most infectious hip-hop in my tunes aresenal. The other type music I want to hear in the summer is 50s or 60s rock 'n' roll--but not just any & all of it. It has to be 50s music one would listen to whilest "cruising the strip" as they did back in the day (or I have been led to believe they did anyways... small side tangent...I sometimes feel like I got the shaft in regards to the era I wiled away my teens in. I mean, I dunno why, but I hold this romanticized notion of youth in bygone eras. The 50s/ 60s seemed rife with some sort of magical ambiance, and the 70s seemed way more FUN than what I got stuck with. Even the 80s (to a slightly lesser degree) seem cooler than...bleccch ...the 90s. That's *precisely* the decade in which the magical ambience reserves dried up, I'm sure of it, and it's SO unfair)

Ok, wheeeeere the hell was I? Oh yes... in the summer I most dig 50s cruisin' music or 60s music of the sort that woulda cropped up in Dirty Dancing. Example: I always love to hear "Stay" [Maurice Williams & the Zodiacs; this one's actually in Dirty Dancing] and recently have downloaded "Come On, Let's Go" by Ritchie Valens and am really digging it.

Oh, speaking of new iTunes buys (file this one under "club bangers" though....old skool club bangers) I just got & cannot stop listening to Rock Master Scott & the Dynamic Three's "The Roof is on Fire" I just love it. It's this interesting dichotomy... the song is riddled with these old-timey hip-hop cliches ("everybody say HOOO!" urging listeners to wave their hands above their heads in a manner that implies apathy, etc. etc.) which I certainly don't fault it for. I mean, at the time of its recording, this was new material. It has only been borrowed, and re-borrowed and rendered trite in years hence. But still, because of all the old gems in there, the song winds up with a somewhat, ummmm, dorky vibe (which I happen to love , btw) Y'know, it sounds just a bit like your dad trying out his hip-hop chops. Anyways, add another layer of dorkiness when you notice that in parts of the song, Rock Master Scott sounds EXACTLY like DJ Lance from Yo Gabba Gabba! (and yes, I get dork points x infinity for noticing that. 'Sokay, I own it. But do a little audio-comparison...you'll see that I'm totally right!) So you've got this fun, dorky-innocent vibe and then...."MOTHERFUCKER" hollered multiple times at the end of the song. That is like, the CUSS GODFATHER!! Or quite high up in the hierarchy of profanity, at least! If you don't know the song already, that kinda takes you unawares (the MF-bomb, that is).

Ok, a few more of my own seasonal harbingers...

• Flip-flops! (that's one for many folks, I'm sure)


• Sunglasses that look like---->>

would those just be referred to as Ray Bans? I believe Ray Ban makes lots of other styles, so methinks that would be a misnomer. That style needs a name though...or maybe it has a name and I just am clueless as to what it is.

I happen to be, like the Imelda Marcos of sunglasses (well, I'm workin' towards it anyhow) and I have all different styles (no amber lenses or granny glasses though...both look horrid on me!) but this style is somehow, to me, the summeriest. The penultimate summer outfit would involve just such shades....flip-flops.....and some manner of fluorescent fabric betwixt the two.

• Shishkabobs!! This is what I wanna eat all summer. I just love grilling, despite the fact that 8 outta 10 times when I light the grill I singe off some arm hair. Or maybe....because of that fact. Perhaps I thrive on the element of danger. And definitely I's got arm hair to spare. I have rather hirsute arms, I fear. I'm lucky that I'm fair haired. Anyways, I just did veggie kabobs the other night (though generally I throw some cow meat on the skewer) and the mushrooms were MAAAAD DELICIOUS!!
• Sangria!! This is what I wanna drink all summer. Ohh, but that might either break the bank or KICK MY LIVER'S ASS! So, instead, here's my bev-itinerary for the next 3 mos: iced coffee --probably just in the a.m. Then my afternoons I will imbibe some combination of Diet Cokes, iced teas, Miller Chill, & sangria (NOT all mixed together, dumbass)

summer lovin'

..that reminds me, a Grease sing-along is hitting theaters across the country this summer. Major cities only-- that's the pisser. These things never come to "a theater near me". Therefore, I have never attended a sing-along cinematic event. Of course, with The Rocky Horror Picture Show (which is probably the most commonly staged sing-along) I don't really feel deprived. I'm not really into Rocky Horror (odd, right? it seems like I would be..). But a Grease sing-along, I would really dig. Well, I don't totally adore the movie like so many do. The overall message is pretty despicable--it's something to the tune of-- you need to let fly all your inhibitions and succumb to a total whorebag makeover to hang on to that man (paraphrasing there). But I'm more of an escapist than I am a moralist, so that's not a huge impediment to me enjoying the flick. My big thing is that Olivia Newton John irks me, and I'm pretty tepid in my feelings on Travolta (even in his Barbarino days) I used to really like Kenickie, but now that portrayal is just a sad reminder of what a stud the sad sack that is now Jeff Conaway once upon a time was. (I feel like that made no sense. You get my gist, no?) But there's still the uber-cool Stockard Channing, and most importantly, I know and love all the songs. That's why I'd really appreciate the sing-along, but the closest they're coming to me is Boston, and I just don't foresee it happenin'.

I watched some Sound of Music anniversary documentary, and they showed how they throw these mega sing-along/ act along showings at the Hollywood Bowl. Now *that* is my ultimate sing-along event. I would SO love that.

donkey monikers--Epilogue Dos

I can’t believe I rattled off 50 donkey names and I forgot to list “Ira”. Thatsa good ‘un-- should definitely be on there.

Here’s a fun little morsel to add to your Sandra Fact File…. I had a Gigapet once upon a time…it was pink and the pet was a koala, and I named him Ira.

donkey monikers-- an epilogue

Once I got mentally unblocked, the names started rolling. I rattled off (kinda stream-of-consciousness-like) 50 names (I had to stop somewhere) that struck me as funny and/ or cute.

I shall share with y'all, in case you are ever plagued with the dilemma of a nameless donkey (some may also be suitable for anonymous alpacas or goats)--

Donkey Kong
Dominic
Don Donkey (the mafia donkey)
Algernon
Allistair
Fletch
Gordon
Angus
Magnus
Gustavo
Heinrich
Georg (pron. Gay-org)
Monty
Shecky
Sherm /Sherman
Delroy
Leroy
LaMont
Gary
Barry
Gerald
Bob
Freddy
Friedrich
Irv
Marco
Bartholomew
Gregory
Amos
Telly
Neville
Cecil
Paco
Pablo
Henry
Howie
Moses
Phillip
Chachi
Fonzie
Potsy
Willis
Kevin
Torgo
George
Benji
Mork
Pete
Boober
Jefferson

woopsie

OK, no tormenting, organ-readjusting pants today, but I am not without my wardrobe snafus. This dress has a tie in the back…the left sash just had a little float-about in the toilet l (which, regrettably, I only realized after my business had concluded)

So odd, because,I am usually hyperconscientious about keeping my tie-backs to the exterior of the toilet bowl. This particular awareness I believe stemmed from a particularly disastrous lace-in-the-toilet incident (yours truly was dressed up in bridesmaid finery at the time)

donkey monikers

My friend’s sister is getting a donkey. Said friend emailed me about this straight away as I’ve opined to her in the past that donkeys are the cutest and best farm animals. I wrote her back -- “just say the word and I will throw at you a bevy of high quality donkey names” Now she’s said the word and…well… I was going to start her off with a dozen but I’ve become blocked.

I thought it would be funny to go veddy Brit w/ this –use an upper-class twit sort of name. All my brain could come up with was Allistair, Algernon, and Niles. Niles I nixed because it only reminds me of the old dude who was Rose’s boyfriend on the Golden Girls. Giles too, is no good (Buffy…which I didn’t even watch….spoiled that one). I typed “Algernon Allistair” into the ask.com search engine and one of the top results was this site called The Peerage ….which I just might make use of. It rather amuses me , the notion of culling a donkey name from that site.

The list is still in progress, but my #1 (that I put down immediately) is Donkey Kong. It’s a little simple…but it makes me laugh.

I will keep y'all posted on this developing story (hey, slow news day, eh?)

Pants, pants, pants, pants, fabulous PAAAANTS

I really do—for the most part--- like the pants I have on today. They’re a good pale shade khaki, and they fit me just perfectly thru the thgh & leg. But HOLY MOTHEROFPETE’SDRAGON are they tight around the gut!! I mean, it’s not only that the inner seams are embossed on my epidermis, but I think I might wind up with hairline fractures to my pelvic bone!! DAMN! I wonder if anyone has ever suffered organ dislocation due to too-tight pants.

And forget the “muffin-top” , I’ve got like, a “soufflé-top” going on (tell me: would Pop-over top have been a more comical/ effective metaphor??) I’ve even unbuttoned the top two buttons of my button-fly. Yep, right here at work. It pained me to do so (as I am generally a PARAGON of propriety) but it pained me even more not to do so…

But hey.. I lost 0.6 of a pound in the past week. If I keep going at this rate, these pantalones will be downright comfy in 9 or 10 years.

Spending, $pending....

I downloaded this iPod-to-PC transfer software that allowed me to fix my iTunes imbroglio. My laptop now has fully stocked, fully functional iTunes on it (that the pod is synced to! YAY!) So of course, this swell turn of events was cause for a little iTunes spending spree. Here is what I bought---
--Music--

*OMG [Usher] : I like the stadium chanting in this song. I am also--against my better judgement--heartily amused by the use of the word "boobies" in the lyrics. I will always, ALWAYS laugh at the word boobies. That's some 10yr old, dwarfed part of my psyche that I just can't seem to shake.

*Breakeven [the Script]

*The Equestrian Statue [Bonzo Dog Doodah Band] How terrif are the Bonzos?? If you have no clue, then I say you should acquaint yourself with them post haste and decide how terrific you find them.

*Button Up Your Overcoat [Bonzo Dog Doodah Band] I've always loved this song. Even though its message is bossy and possessive--technically. I find it very sweet. I sing it to my niecey all the time. Of course, the Bonzos put their own special spin on it, but they do it well, I think. I am pretty sure that line about "don't step on 3rd rails" was not in the original lyrics. Haa. Still, I most like the line "Keep away from bootleg hooch, when you're on a spree"


*Look out there's a Monster Coming [Bonzo Dog Doodah Band] I have Craig Ferguson's show for introducing me to this excellent song. My favorite part is the deadpan "Grunt. Grunt."


*Feeling Good [Nina Simone] This is another song I picked up from the telly. I had (and quite like) Simone's "My Baby Just Cares for Me" but that was on some jazz compilation I didn't know any other songs of hers. They featured this song on an episode of Chuck and I was taken with it, had to track down on the 'net what song it was. I like her kind of spare old-time bluesy singing juxtaposed with the big orchestral sound.

*Uprising [Muse]

*Rude Boy [Rihanna] I begin to suspect that I cannot resist songs that have "Boom Boom Boom" somewhere in the lyrics. Seriously.

*Carry Out [Timbaland avec JT] Timbaland & Timberlake ...these dudes were predestined to collaborate. This song makes my ass wiggle autonomously

*1901 [Phoenix] Looooooove this song. It kinda (for some reason I can't articulate) reminds me of "Kids" by MGMT, which I also have mad love for.

* Holiday [Vampire Weekend] J'adore Vamp Wknd --beaucoup j'adore. This is them at their bestest (well their best off "Contra" at least) And yes...I am well aware of how fucked up my francais is

*Cousins [Vampire Weekend]

*Horchata [Vampire Weekend] I predict this will be the first song ever to inspire me to go on a bev-quest. Where would one procure horchata? Anyone? Tips?? Suggestions???

* On the Street Where You Live [Mr Hudson & The Library] Yes, it's that "On the Street Where You Live"...My Fair Lady... Mr Hudson does Freddy Eynsford-Hill. Oddly cool. Me likey.

--TV--
*The Mighty Boosh- Episode 2.05 "The Legend of Old Gregg"-- I'm just getting into this show and am quite smitten, but I felt a bit reluctant to pay for an episode on account of Comcast offering up free eps on their Comcast on Demand. But I *had* to cast aside this reluctance for the Old Gregg episode. SO good. And at $1.99 it was cheaper than most of the TV eps sold on iTunes. I think I'm also going to shill out for episode 3.02 ("Journey to the Center of the Punk").

*The State --Episodes 2 &3-- No Barry & LeVon pudding time here, but still VERY funny


In other spending news, I kicked off the weekend buying a new wine. Actually it was a very odd grocery expedition yesterday. I went in to Shaws to buy Jello chocolate mousse but came away with--
XOCHiTL Cajun style tortilla chips-- XOCHiTL is a great brand. They're tortilla chips like I like 'em-- very thin & salty (although this Cajun variety is more spicy than salty) and they come in a GINORMOUS bag

Jones Brand 97% Fat Free Canadian Bacon-- Canadian bacon ROX. I think, as bacon goes, traditional American bacon (hereafter to be referred to as "BACON") is unquestionably superior. I mean, there's good reason that there's whole religions devoted to BACON. Nothin' can touch it!! Canadian bacon, though, makes for a stellar ham substitute. I mean, ham is generally pretty shitty for you, unless it's sliced microscopically thin. But Canadian bacon--3 thickish slices is a serving and 1 serving is a mere 1 point!! Yes, I am doing that again, but no, I don't really wanna talk about it right now.
La Vieille Ferme Cote du ventoux red wine -- I can't really say what type of wine this is--I guess it's sort of a melange. I was in the mood for a red and this one had a "Save $2 now!" coupon on the bottle. And yet, it had a very classy looking bottle. Honestly, I know next to nuttin' about wine and I very often make my decisions based on bottle label aesthetics. (In related news-- you generally can judge a book by its cover. Your frothy chick lit tends to rely on a lot of fluorescent colors--fluorescent pink especially)
Anyways, I tried this tonight and it was pretty decent... I like it better than the last wine I tested out on a whim (that was Malbec) My favorite red is still Beaujolais though

JELLO Mousse Tempations 6pack--"Chocolate Indulgence" flavor. OK, so it's not quite as great as the homemade stuff, but it certainly doesn't suck.

Now my omega-3 binging--

King Oscar sardines -mediterranean style w/ olive oil, black olives, garlic powder & red pepper. (2 cans)
2 packets Starkist Chunk Light tuna packed in H2O.

2 cans anchovies...I can't remember what brand. But after consuming 1/2 can of the sardines tonight, I have conclusively decided that I prefer anchovies to sardines

Also, I was really jonesin' for gorgonzola cheese but I forgot to grab some.

In line, I was staring at my groceries on the conveyor belt, and contemplating "What do my purchases say about me ??" I know that's goofy pop-psychology, but I always think that, simply because I am in the habit of ogling other shoppers' groceries (whoever winds up in line ahead of me or behind me) and trying to "profile" them based on those picks.

And today, I skipped my alumni float planning meeting (that, too, is another post for another day. Remind me..) and went to Big Lots instead. I hadn't been there in quite a while and of course found lotsa stuff I just HAD to buy. Some of it was for my sister's fam, which is good.. because I find that spending guilt is greatly alleviated when you don't keep the goods for yourself (makes sense).
For myself, I got-- a silver cuff bracelet, softlips brand 2pack of lip balm-- vanilla and sheer pink, Revlon ColorStay sheer in sheer Plum (I have this very same type lipstick in Coral & Ruby. I dig it mucho. I like sheer lip color--sheer or glossy-sheer. Y'know I've seen in magazines, where they do these articles highlighting beauty trends, and they spotlight matte lipstick and they show a whole myriad of starlets making matte lipstick look tres cute, but I swear, it always looks STUPID on yours truly) LaCrosse 3-in-1 manicure tool, a movie called Perfume ( their DVDs are $3!! How can I resist that??) a small photo book about porches (a coffee table book...but I've taken the liberty of stowing it pottyside in el bano) Pace 3 chili salsa, Mrs Penny's organic black beans (I'm on a bit of a bean kick right now... just realized how much I like garbanzos, actually)

For my sister I got a book about the town Celebration, FL. This is kind of a joke. When we were in the Kissimee/Orlando area on vaca back in 2004 we kinda blundered into this town and were freaked out by how eerily perfect the place was. It was very tidy. No toys in the yards. Not a lot of people around either. I thought it was funny to find the book (even funnier that it's published by Disney press...considering that Celebration is owned/was constructed by Disney, that makes the book pretty much a bulked-up brochure) I am going to give it to her and say, "Informative look at urban planning...or Stepfordian propaganda? YOU DECIDE"

For the kids I got-- Old fashioned sports-themed wall decals (this is specifically for my nephew Seth...they will fit in very nicely with his jocktastic room) DVDs-- Leonard Part 6 (ok, I think this movie was a big craptacular of Howard the Duck proportions, but I think it has a silliness that the kiddos will dig) and the Best of Beakman's World (I used to watch this show on Sat morns... I don't remember anything specifically except that one all-about-boogers episode when they crawled through a giant schnozz. Great stuff.

In closing, I apologize for such an immensely uninspired post. I felt like I hadn't posted in FOR-EV, and to get back into it with something clever and/or original it would take a hell of a jumpstart. A feeble post like this...it only took a weensie li'l jumpstart.

A'righty.. ciao for now, my lovies...

meet my baby tax attorney Agnes Q Vandersloot

There is a photo of a mystery baby in my office. This photo was on the floor, and somebody (we don't even know who retrieved it from the floor) believing it to be my coworker Holly's granddaughter, put it in Holly's stuff (Holly sits next to me in the office). Well, Holly doesn't know the mystery tot, but she presumes that if some random-ass picture appeared suddenly amongst her belongings, it was likely *me* that snuck it in there. That's a pretty reasonable presumption there, but in this case it was incorrect. Well, anyways, instead of asking me about the pic, she slid it on to the edge of my desk without a word while I was busy on the phone. And so suddenly, I see this Olan Mills photo of this baby girl with sort of a poofy "baby bouffant" coiffure and I'm like "WHO THE HELL IS THIS BABY??" I *try* and keep the at-work cussing to a minimum, but I happened to be rather frazzled on this particular day, and for some odd reason, a mystery baby cropping up on my desk just further stressed me out (when really it oughtta just be. . .bemusing, eh?)

Still don't know who the baby is or who the baby belongs to. I have slid the photo into the crack on the top of my glass half-partition so that she is standing up & facing out into the office. I'm hoping someone traipsing past will stop in their tracks and say "Heeeey--I have been looking EVERYWHERE for that fotografia!!" Haven't heard that yet though. But about a half dozen times a day now, I hear "Ohhh cute--who is this?" or "Is this your baby?" I quickly tired of the question and got bored with rehashing the true tale of the pic (as rehashed last paragraph... it was pretty dull, right?) So I've made it a game to ad lib some smart-ass or weird answer. "Who is that?" "Mrs Higginbottom, my cleaning woman" "Is this your baby?" "It could be YOUR baby...how much are you willing to spend??" (that one particularly shocked Holly...she simply does not see the comedic value of baby peddling, it seems)

I have also joked that if no one claims the bambina, I am going to take the photo and bring it with me to my 15 yr high school reunion (which really is going down next month) and pass her off as my little girl. I really do think my real progeny would be cuter (I mean you should see some of *MY* baby photos--I was effing ADORABLE!!) but I don't have time to crank one of thems out before June 19th, now do I ?? I'll be like..." oh yeah, I didn't mention it previously, but I like ....bred. I was totally going to mention it on the Facebook, but then people would be nagging me to post photos and this photo is the only one I have, and I couldn't scan it because our scanner would MELT the photo...for reals, it gets wicked hot. That's the last time I buy electronics from a van, man"
Ah, we are having a good chortle about it now, but I bet more people do that than you think (it doesn't just happen in ABC Family movies) And kudos to them if they can pull it off with a straight face. No, I shall 'fess up to being a childless singleton. And I feel like, if I'm not bringing a burgeoning li'l family to the proverbial table, I really should transform my singlehood into some glam Carrie Bradshaw style, jet setty singlehood. But then I think...what I should do is not give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of me. I hear people claim that all the time (that they don't care what anyone thinks of them) and I'm always very skeptical of those people. They are either lying bastids, or they are really something else--superhuman, subhuman or just defective. I mean, I don't think it healthy to OBSESS over what others think, but isn't it an intrinsic impulse, hard-wired into the human condition, to crave others' good opinions? I believe so. Yeah, those carefree "I don't give a damn what other people think of me" types...the vast majority is full of GUANO.

Eats

I shouldn't rave about junky food (lest I encourage naughty eating habits in those of you readers that idolize my opinions) but I cannot help it in this instance---

Chester's cheesy Puffcorn is utterly MAGNIFICO!! I cannot vouch for the butter flavor variety (not having tried it) but I can't imagine they'd be as good as the cheesy kind. With the name o' "puffcorn" and proclaiming on the bag "Unlike popcorn, no hulls or hard kernels!!" It apparently is being touted as some nouveau-popcorn, but I didn't enjoy it as such. Rather, I found it to be the ideal cheezy poof. There was some other brand cheezy poof that I used to get long ago that had just this same perfect consistency ( very airy, and just slightly less saliva-soluble than cotton candy) but I can't recollect what brand that was. It was maybe Jax or Stateline, I'm not sure, but I know I haven't been able to find 'em for quite a long time.

Okay, a footnote in my own defense--I had grilled trout and steamed kale and baked potato for my supper tonight (in other words, I don't eat crap food ALL the time..)

what's new pussycat--WOOO-OOAH!

Hey cats...how's tricks??

I took my tax refund (not all the $$ but a fatty chunk of it) and bought myself a laptop. Don't get me wrong-- I LOVE the thing (and I'm not just saying that because he's in the room with me now) but I haven't quite shaken off the pain of BUYER'S REMORSE. I haven't ever spent this much money in one sitting !! Ok, well, car buys not included...I never had any remorse when buying a car...firstly, there is no debating whether or not it's a necessary purchase (maybe if I lived in NYC or Boston I could debate it, but where I live--it's a slam-dunk MUST have) And secondly, I have always bought used cars (not that I wouldn't love me a shiny new ride, but I have a mighty aversion to taking on a new payment--and car payments are pretty substantial--when I have so many that I'm ignoring already) and they've all been thrifty buys--relatively.

But this purchase...not absolutely necessary, and probably not executed as thriftily as I coulda done. THIS is the one I bought by the way..I'm uhhh, mildly disheartened to see those less-than-thrilled-reviews NOW . As you can see, I didn't exactly " do my homework"...really did not make this decision the Consumer Reports way. I just went to Best Buy and wandered about the rows of laptops until I settled on one that had acceptable specs, an amenable price tag, and that I "had a good feeling about". Now of course, I'm not some kinda rube that thought the price tag price is what you **REALLY**pay . But I guess I hadn't emotionally prepared myself for the computer buying experience. I walked out of the store excited but also feeling a bit manipulated. I hate buying service plans, for one. Maybe it's New England-y and/or old timey of me, but I feel like if you patronize a store and choose to bestow your business on to THEM, then they should service your computer when it gets fucked up. But no, you can't turn to them for help unless you shill out an extra $220 for some 2yr plan. They should just, to use a trite turn of phrase, "stand behind their product". Ok, so they don't manufacture the computers they sell, but still... the point being, Staples is a hop, skip, & pirouette away from Best Buy and I could have easily gone there to buy a computer. I don't understand why, if the economy is in the shitter, and sooo many businesses are "on the bubble" (ummm, yes, I will skim over a feature from Yahoo! Financial on occasion) then why doesn't it seem like anyone is grateful for your business anymore? Some of the onus is on me--unquestionably-- I could have sought out a small, privately-owned business and I probably wouldn't have all these gripes. And I don't have a good reason as to why I didn't do that. Well, pretty much the same reason as why I didn't do any pre-purchase studying. Even though there was a good deal of moolah involved, this was essentially an impulse buy. I *could* have wandered the aisles of Best Buy taking notes on possible laptops to buy, but something in me was urging : Buy it before you lose the nerve!!!

Speaking of nerve, I still haven't mentioned to my father that I bought a laptop. It's stupid...ridiculous....I don't answer to my father and I shouldn't have to tell him I bought anything....or if I were to tell him it should be no big thing. But damn it, if the other voice in my head (not the "Buy it before you lose the nerve" voice..the counter-chorus) doesn't sound just like my Dad's voice. Yeah, I would SOOO prefer Jiminy Cricket, lemme tell yas!! Anyways, this voice would be the one saying "Save! Save! Save! You need to squirrel a li'l $$$ nut away for the imminent demise of your automobile!!" (it uses my dad's voice, but it has my superfluous vocabulary) It would be easier to tell that voice (and my father) to muzzle it, if I didn't see the very sound wisdom in that advice.

Well, I've got a grace period while my dad is at camp hunting--'tis the 1st weekend of turkey season don'tcha know?? He got a turkey yesterday morning and called---he told me the pounds and other specs of it, which apparently my brain did not retain (on account of ..yawwwwn) He's still hunting though, as you can get 2 birds per season (I always wonder if any hunter ever shoots a turkey and has it converted to cold cuts..if he gets another bird, I think he should try it) and probably he's enjoying a li'l break from my mom. Yikes, I don't blame him. I've been keeping an eye on her this weekend, and I told her I'd take her for a drive. After being asked "When are we going??" 10 or 15 times, I told her I'd get my ass in gear when 2pm rolled around. 'Kay so it's 2:05 right now, and she's told me about 3 times per minute in the past 5 minutes that "It's past two!! It's past two!!" I guess I can't defer wrapping this up any longer...

Will post again tonight methinks....

What an ordeal for poor JLo. I don't know how she could handle it (she's a better broad than I, I suppose) Working day in and day out for months with---

---and then going home to the pallid little wraith that is her husband.
OK, OK...totally shallow of me, I realize that. Maybe J-Lo didn't come away from "The Back-up Plan" shoot totally let down by reality. Maybe. (Oh, but come on...LOOK at that guy!)

Wishing all my freaky-wild amigos the happiest of Bicycle Days….

Reunited--and it feels so good

I am not really a Tom Hanks fan. His DaVinci Code hair grossed me out and, speaking of grody Tom Hanks (and going back even further) the whole premise of Big grossed me out. I guess that was more on account of Elizabeth Perkins’s character though. This broad schtupps a 12 yr old and— well, to her credit, she didn’t know that at the time—but I don’t think she was adequately mortified when she did find out. I think she’s sort of a pre LaTourneau LaTournea figure, si? That, in a nutshell, is my whole problem with that flick. Minor detail, perhaps, but it sorta sours the whole thing for me. Though it does have Robert Loggia in it, so it’s not a total waste o’ film.

Anyways, back to Tom Hanks. My DaVinci hair aversion aside, (and I’ve decided not to count the ickiness of Big against him) I just don’t get the appeal of Tom Hanks …especially not as a romantic comedy lead. Although I did really like Sleepless in Seattle, but I think that’s a testament to how very likable pre-Crowe Meg Ryan was. I totally love When Harry Met Sally and you’ve got to have a special kind of heroine to make you go along with Billy Crystal for a romantic lead. (“There is too much pepper on my paprikash. But I would be proud to partake of your pecan piiiiiiie.” Haa.) Oh, and a couple other Meg Ryan rom-com musts –a smidge obscure but waaay watchable-- Addicted to Love (w/ Matthew Broderick—I own this DVD) French Kiss (w/ Kevin Kline—I want to get that one; I don’t have it, but I’ve seen it like a thousand times somehow) Meg Ryan was so adorable…but then in the late nineties, a lethal combination of Botox and Russell Crowe sapped all the spark, & joi de vivre out of her. So sad. But I keep veering off topic. The topic is Tom Hanks.
I’m not anti-Tom Hanks. He doesn’t impress me, but he doesn’t impress me negatively either. I’m just kind of apathetic toward him. However, I read THIS today, and I do believe it moved my approval-meter a notch or two toward “Like” in regards to Hanks. Granted, it’s not stop-the-presses news, and it’s sure as hell not going to compel me to watch the TV Land Awards, but still it’s nice. It seems like, more often than not, big stars will shun their humble beginnings. For instance, I think we will see blizzards in Hell before we see Clooney make an appearance on a Facts of Life reunion.
So I find this news pleasing. Good on ya, Hanksie!!