recent dispatches..

Some more email voyeurism. Me in Courier, Paul in Lucida Grande, editorial notes bracketed and in italics--
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[from 7/23]

I don’t know why that line outta Shawna amused me so (“Are you into wicker?”) I’m compiling facts for the hypothetical personal ad she could take out if only she weren’t happily wed.

So far I’ve got the phrases “Movie watchers need not apply” & “Must love wicker!!” in there, but it needs a bit more text.

It’s a pretty bizarre question- not something that oen normally considers one’s self “in to”


Yeah- makes me thing of the Pina Colada song, or some variation on that theme.

Also reminds me of the old Louie Anderson joke about how he heads straight for the wicker furniture when visiting friends’ houses.

And I heard some sort of visceral reaction when I used the phrase “Waves a dead chicken over them”…

The Pina Colada song is waaay ridiculous (though I do love it, inexplicably). I feel like a real life version of that scenario would not end in a good chuckle but with somebody getting their car keyed at best…at worst, someone’s gonna smash a hurricane glass on the edge of the bar and then get stabby.

I’ve similar feelings about Human League’s “Don’t You Want Me”
I LOOOOOVE that song.

I think it’s considerably more realistic than “Pina Colada” though.
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[from Monday 7/27]
…for some fool reason, I was reading up on Dr Oetker. I have eyeballed Dr O products in the store before (their baking mixes mostly, their frozen pizza looks weird) but hadn’t bought any ‘til yesterday when I picked up some of their chocolate mousse mix. Well, as if chocolate mousse wasn’t guilt-inducing enough on its own, I now know that Dr Oetker was a big time Nazi company in the 30s. NAZIS MADE MY CHOCOLATE MOUSSE!!

How positively horrid.

As for other product-shilling docs, I finally did see some Dr Bronner’s soap…they sell it in Walgreens. I *so* love Walgreens.
[in a separate email, moments later...]
Well, I suppose I should specify: I did the final preparations of the mousse, all the labor intensive mixer work and chilling. But it was a Nazi prepared mix. So I had Nazi assistance…

Perhaps picking up some Dr Bronner’s soap will wash my Dr Oetker guilt away. How very poetic justicey that would be with that double meaning of “cleansing” and all that and what not and etcetera.

So its mousse of Nazi origin.

Well, as long as the label doesn’t say “I.G. Farben”…

Well, y’know, what with the labels, Bronner’s is probably a holy substance of some sort…

“Dilute! Dilute! OK!”
All-One!,
Me
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[from Tues 7/28 ]
Ever seen a tesseract?
Namaste',
Me
Nope. Don’t even know what it is, I don’t think…
Theoretical geometric construct.

Check this out: http://conflusions.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/4dcube.gif

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Glass_tesseract_animation.gif

And take in to account that it doesn’t actually change shape at all- it’s just rotating.
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[from today 7/29]
Clara Bow & Theda Bera both have 7/29 birthdays (though Bera’s came along first in 1885, and then Bow was born in 1905)

Speaking of silent films (ha haa) I found this to be a neat-o site: http://www.goldensilents.com/

It’s peculiar…I find silent films & their actors to be very interesting and yet I don’t really watch silent films. I can only think of one I’ve seen (Metropolis) and that was absolutely EONS ago…

I gotta say though…I’ve always been kinda curious to see Birth of a Nation & possibly somethin’ else by Griffiths..

[again, I shall remind you of P's practice of pasting bits of your last email into his reply, and responding to it bit-by-bit]

Clara Bow & Theda Bera both have 7/29 birthdays (though Bera’s came along first in 1885, and then Bow was born in 1905)

Theda Bera was so kewl.

Speaking of silent films (ha haa) I found this to be a neat-o site: http://www.goldensilents.com/


Ooohhhh…nice! Thanx!

It’s peculiar…I find silent films & their actors to be very interesting and yet I don’t really watch silent films. I can only think of one I’ve seen (Metropolis) and that was absolutely EONS ago…

There’s a near-complete version of “Metropolis” finally available as of not too long ago. I kinda still like the older, incomplete versions, but it’s nice to have a full thing now.

Chaney’s “Phantom of the Opera” is a must-see, and “Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” is one of my all-time fave movies of any sort ever.

There was a silent adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s “Call of Cthulhu” made a couple of years ago- they even used period costuming and effects (for the most part) to add to the verisimilitude.

I gotta say though…I’ve always been kinda curious to see Birth of a Nation & possibly somethin’ else by Griffiths..

Never seen that. Having grown up in a town that had its own Klan chapter, I’m not sure I could stand it.

I’d really love it if there were a full version of Edison’s version of “Frankenstein”…

Namaste',
Me
The Klan in Jersey, huh? I wouldn’t have presumed… though I suppose that’s stereotypical thinking on my part.

I don’t know much about Theda Bera—only that she had sort of a “vamp” persona goin’ on, if I’m not mistaken and I now know her b-day. However, I just did some reading thru the wiki bio of “It Girl” Bow, and WOWSERS!! She had a tumultuous time of it. Biopic fodder, perhaps?? Oh, speaking of biopics, I was just musing the other day that since the biopic seems to be a continually favored movie genre, and musicians –with a good handful of classical musicians—have been very popular picks for biopics (haaaa again!) Therefore….why no Tchaikovsky movie? Lotta dramatic material there…
Unless there has been a Tchaikovsky movie. There hasn’t been, to the best of my knowledge. I don’t know why every interesting biography I take in makes me think “Hey, there’s a good movie” but that probably has a lot to do with me knowing that there are Viewmaster & Where’s Waldo movies in the works…

But back to Bow & Bera…that will probably be my next furtive wiki expedition: the nutshell recap of the life & times o’ Theda Bera….

The Klan in Jersey, huh? I wouldn’t have presumed… though I suppose that’s stereotypical thinking on my part.

South Jersey is more like a section of Alabama that got misplaced. Lots of rebel flags and gin racks on the trucks, baseball caps, flannel shirts and work boots are de rigueur so far as fashion is concerned.

I don’t know much about Theda Bera—only that she had sort of a “vamp” persona goin’ on, if I’m not mistaken

I tend to think of her as the original Goth Chick- just took the subculture five decades to catch on. ;)

and I now know her b-day. However, I just did some reading thru the wiki bio of “It Girl” Bow, and WOWSERS!! She had a tumultuous time of it. Biopic fodder, perhaps??

I’d say so. Be well worth seeing, methinks. Lots of material there.

Oh, speaking of biopics, I was just musing the other day that since the biopic seems to be a continually favored movie genre, and musicians –with a good handful of classical musicians—have been very popular picks for biopics (haaaa again!) Therefore….why no Tchaikovsky movie? Lotta dramatic material there…
Unless there has been a Tchaikovsky movie. There hasn’t been, to the best of my knowledge. I don’t know why every interesting biography I take in makes me think “Hey, there’s a good movie”


Well, yeah- I don’t know if there has been a Tchaikovsky movie yet but it’s rife with potential for good material…

but that probably has a lot to do with me knowing that there are Viewmaster & Where’s Waldo movies in the works…

…and yeah- we do need an antidote to this impending torrent of cinematic drivel

But back to Bow & Bera…that will probably be my next furtive wiki expedition: the nutshell recap of the life & times o’ Theda Bera….

Y’know, I’m not sure that I’ve checked that out either. Should do so.

Kelly recently got a DVD from the people who do findadeath.com that covers famous Hollywood deaths. You don’t want to know how Albert Dekker, the guy who played Dr. Cyclops, went (the wiki version is apparently toned down). They also cover Elizabeth Short/The Black Dahlia (wiki version there is toned-down too)

Theda Bera…seems to have kept her drama onscreen. The most compelling bit I gleaned from her story is that she has the most lost films of anyone with a star on the H’wood Walk of Fame. Also interesting is that her portrayal of Cleopatra…which gives us our most popular image of Bera (or is it Bara?)

Another (totally different) July 29th bday: Cap’n Lou Albano. I was never a wrestling fan, exactly, but there was this rock ‘n’ roll/ WWF Sat morn cartoon that I was utterly devoted to for a spell in my childhood (my have to redo my FB Top 5 Sat morning cartoons to include that one rather than the CBS Storybreak ) Of course, por moi, the biggest fascination surrounding the Cap’n has always been those rubber bands hanging off his cheek piercing. Wonder if he has those still? I doubt it. At 70+ yrs old, it would be even more freakish than it already was.

I have never in my life heard of this Albert Dekker, but you’ve now got me irresistibly compelled to investigate his demise….

Theda Bera…seems to have kept her drama onscreen.

For the most part. I always liked her image and publicity shots- esp the one of her sitting by the skeleton. She was definitely not typical of the women of her age.

The most compelling bit I gleaned from her story is that she has the most lost films of anyone with a star on the H’wood Walk of Fame.



That I had not remembered.

Also interesting is that her portrayal of Cleopatra…which gives us our most popular image of Bera (or is it Bara?)

Bara.


Another (totally different) July 29th bday: Cap’n Lou Albano. I was never a wrestling fan,

I watched a bit in the ‘80’s ‘cause it was kinda funny, and I watched in the early ‘90’s so I’d have something to talk to my co-workers about. I’ve heard that since Vince McMahon took over running the WWF it’s turned in to an uber-sleazefest.

exactly, but there was this rock ‘n’ roll/ WWF Sat morn cartoon that I was utterly devoted to for a spell in my childhood (my have to redo my FB Top 5 Sat morning cartoons to include that one rather than the CBS Storybreak ) Of course, por moi, the biggest fascination surrounding the Cap’n has always been those rubber bands hanging off his cheek piercing. Wonder if he has those still? I doubt it.


Oh yeah- I remember that cartoon. Never watched it, tho. I remember Roddy Piper having some sort of silly accent that the real Roddy never had. Wasn’t the show akin to the Dukes of Hazzard cartoon in that it focused on a race or some sort of competition?

At 70+ yrs old, it would be even more freakish than it already was.


I’ve a 60-something friend in NOLA who has purple hair and piercings.

I have never in my life heard of this Albert Dekker, but you’ve now got me irresistibly compelled to investigate his demise….

Let me put it this way- Carradine was a piker by comparison.

Namaste',
Me
[big shift in topic now..]
So, Eileen came up to me to tell me that she’s going to be in the Orange Room with the laminator.

Naturally, that got me thinking of how to do a VNA version of Clue.


“Laura is in the Grafton Room with the pulse-ox”

“Paul is in the Supply Room with the hole-puncher”

“Sandra is in the Windsor Room with the tegaderm”

OK..but that’s hardly fair—what the hell damage can I do with Tegaderm??

Well, in all fairness, what damage can you do with a pulse-ox?
But you could possibly fashion a garrote out of tegaderm

Too much work…the worst I could do w/ Tegaderm is apply it to the hairiest area of my foe’s arm and then rip it off with the utmost rapidity and malice.

Pulse Ox would be an easier weapon…the old ones are heavy enough to do some bludgeoning, and the wee finger ones are on lanyards (strangling lanyards, if need be). See, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into how I am going to survive (if not, indeed triumph) if another VNA attacks us a la a Crimson Permanent Assurance sorta siege

Too much work…the worst I could do w/ Tegaderm is apply it to the hairiest area of my foe’s arm and then rip it off with the utmost rapidity and malice.

Ow!

Pulse Ox would be an easier weapon…the old ones are heavy enough to do some bludgeoning,

True enough.

and the wee finger ones are on lanyards (strangling lanyards, if need be).

Or shove it down someone’s throat to choke them.

See, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into how I am going to survive (if not, indeed triumph) if another VNA attacks us a la a Crimson Permanent Assurance sorta siege

Or if the Zombie Apocalypse hits…

I keep thinking that if things continue the way that have been so far this week, Sam will be lurking in a room somewhere with a letter-opener by Friday.

['nother big topic switch..]

Re: awesomeness that I cannot hoard
THIS is a blog of a chick who knits movie characters. It’s way more cool than it initially sounds.

Probably for work, the wiser option would be to just peruse THIS quickie slideshow of her “greatest hits” . That Joker is way adorable (I think you should email this lady & commission one for the new bambino of su casa)
[I tinkered with those links so's they work in this post btw]

[a quick anomaly next--an email to Ann, who has publicly declared her repulsion w/ the practice of reading in the bathroom]

Hi-ya Ann…….
I spied that someone left the A section of the Valley News in one of the bathrooms. It would appear someone does not share your views on malingering après B.M.

Let the record show, however, that although I oppose you on this point, I was *NOT* the one reading The Valley News in the loo.

Thank you,
The Management

[now some science...]
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090728/sc_afp/sciencearmsoffbeat

…I never really deliberately debated swing vs. don’t swing. ..I’ve always just let ‘em do what they will. Now this has got me wondering whether I’ve got a “normal swing” or “opposite to normal swing” I feel like I’m going to be hypersensitive about my perambulation-accompanying arm movement all day.

As for the “why”, ever since seeing Big’s swingin’ in the Patterson-Gimlin film, that it was “is an evolutionary relic from when we used to go about on all fours.” (just as the Yahoo article’s experts say)
…I never really deliberately debated swing vs. don’t swing. ..I’ve always just let ‘em do what they will. Now this has got me wondering whether I’ve got a “normal swing” or “opposite to normal swing” I feel like I’m going to be hypersensitive about my perambulation-accompanying arm movement all day.
--Hm- interesting. I’d sort of figured as much, but never had the stats to back it up.
As for the “why”, ever since seeing Big’s swingin’ in the Patterson-Gimlin film, that it was “is an evolutionary relic from when we used to go about on all fours.” (just as the Yahoo article’s experts say)
--OK- got that. I was thinking of the Bigfoot footage when I read that too.
I was also thinking of the Seinfeld episode with the woman who didn’t move her arms at all when she walked.
Namaste',
Me
I can’t believe I never saw that episode (considering how Seinfeld was absolutely syndicated to death)
[another 180...we're all over the map today..]

Subject: always knew it would come to this...

http://www.thelocal.se/19120.html
Namaste',
Me
AND SO IT HAS BEGUN….

(And me sans catchpole, dammit…)

[now abandoning the robot uprising for some trivial Facebook-related chatter..]

I manage to refrain from hitting FB while in the office but can’t squelch the curiosity re: what FB activity might be percolatin’, hence regular peeks into my home email inbox (where my FB notifications are emailed) After a friend request I just got, however, I was in such a state of shock, that I couldn’t resist logging into FB to immediately confirm the request.

This is a dude that I was only passing acquaintances with, and I haven’t seen since the *5th grade*. How bizarre. This isn’t the first friend request I’ve had from waaay out in the wild blue arbitrary yonder, (the first one to make me break my no-FB-log ins-at-work rule, is all) and every time I get these I imagine the requestor is running some kind of report of everyone in his/her age group from his/her hometown and friending ALL the results.

On the other hand, this was the fellah who very gallantly offered to escort me onto the ice as a means of balance when I was the only 5th grade weenie on our class ice skating field trip who was a total amateur and petrified of busting some part of my skeleton. Always struck me as extraordinarily chivalrous…could be that he’s been maaaadly in love with me since 5th grade.

Swell…

Wow- that’s a long ways back. I haven’t maintained contact with anyone from grade school except the Dodge family (who I mentioned before- I’ve friended five of the siblings, didn’t know three of the others all that well and have one pending request) and an ex-neighbor who I also worked with and who now lives across the street from my parents.

I’ve mentioned how weird it’s been getting friend requests from people from the distant past who I hardly interacted with.

And I found your speculation on motive funny- I got on FB because of my experiences with Classmates, which I’d originally joined to track someone from school down to apologize for something that I didn’t do.

On the other hand, this was the fellah who very gallantly offered to escort me onto the ice as a means of balance when I was the only 5th grade weenie on our class ice skating field trip who was a total amateur and petrified of busting some part of my skeleton. Always struck me as extraordinarily chivalrous…

--Well, I’d take that as a good sign…

the Citizen Kane of bad film??

I'm intrigued by this movie "The Room"...which is being touted as "the Citizen Kane of bad movies".

For some reason this flick merited a segment on ABC News (online)--where I caught wind of it. I have an affinity for so-bad-it's-good cinema. The danger is that there is a very fine line between cheeztastic so-bad-it's-good fare, and just straight-out BAD fare. The ideal way to catch "The Room" then, methinks, would be to attend one of these Rocky Horror Picturesque style screenings that are going on across the U.S. (or so sez Charlie Gibson) That way, it would probably still be an exceptional experience, regardless of whether the movie charmed me or not.

little acts o' kindness

This week $$$ is tight . No shocker there...it seems to always work out that-a-way the week of payday. So first, I decided to allow myself a mere 50cents for breakfast money...that would be my cup of java (out of the office Keurig) and I would gnosh on some of the 100 year old graham crackers I have squirreled away in my desk. At the last minute though, I decided to be a smidge splurgier and shell out $1.50, by hitting up Dunkin' Donuts for one of their 99cent "wake-up wraps" ..then go forward with the Keurig coffee as previously planned.

My anecdote would, at this point, greatly benefit from a map. I am going to pop on over to MS Paint and bang one out. Please stand by...

Wow, that took me quite some time for such a shitty lookin' end result. Anywhoo... back to my tale.

I take the legit route into the drivethru, offa Rte. 12A, through the DD parking lot. I'm just to the point where a "back door" drive cuts into the drive thru. It's a handy thing (this rear entry) if you're coming from Benning (and pretty necessary as it would be such a pain to have to go to the lights and turn into 12A traffic ) , but if you're already in the drivethru line it's kinda vexing. It's like cutting in line. I'm generally pretty patient, but this a.m., when this green sedan starts nosing down that drive, I wasn't really in the mood to let 'em in, mostly because I was running late for work. But then I recognize the driver--Oh, it's Barb from Accounting!! And I say to myself, "Well, if I'm terribly late for work, I will blame Barb." So I wave her ahead of me.

So, I've put my window down, because it's shaping up to be a lovely warm day already (got up into the 90s today!!) And I'm being a nosey-ass, and listening to what Barb is ordering, not that I have to strain my cochleas that much, because she's doing a lot of yelling and repeating because the DD drivethru crew were having some hearing and/or comprehension difficulties. So consequently, I catch 2 of her 3 hollers of "I'm going to get the lady behind me as well!!" WICKED NICE, EH??

So I know before I order she's very graciously picking up my tab. Now for some reason, I immediately am mindful to act as if I am totally in the dark about this. I don't know why...it's not as if Barb is watching me. Perhaps I didn't want to lessen the thrill of the DD staffer who got to deliver the news, I dunno. Ok, well I have a good theory. And it shows what a weird and twisty psyche I have. Now, when I got to the speaker...do you think I ordered my 99cent Wake-up Wrap?? No siree Bob. I ordered the #3-- med coffee & a Sausage, Egg & Cheese Croissant (even though this about the messiest drive-thru b-fast grub imaginable...and I happen to have spent a good 20 minutes attacking my keyboard with the 3M canned air on Friday). So here we get to the weird & twisty: I consciously took advantage of Barb's goodwill HOWEVER, if I maintained a good enough act of possessing no prior knowledge (ostensibly making any advantage-taking inadvertant) then that would somehow alleviate my guilt? It shouldn't work, but it did. I was grinning ear to ear when I left DD, thinking:" This sure as hell beats stale(ish) graham crackers"

When I met up with Barb at the office door, I exclaimed "You're TOO SWEET!! Thank you so much!!" which she answered with a genuinely puzzled "Huh?" And I said "My breakfast" gesturing with my coffee & croissant-bearing paper sack. She didn't know it was me! (I'd presumed she did) And she's all "Oh, I do that about once a month for somebody." So, Barb is even wicked nicer than I originally posited. It's too bad, I suppose, that it takes a gratis breakfast sammi for me to proclaim that someone is nice. Oh, wellll... if someone had previously asked me about Barb, I would have said she was nice. But I guess I just wouldn't have said so without provocation. Just goes to show you the power of a goodwill gesture. (TANGENT: Reminds me of when I first met one of my besties, Roxanne. I was working at GDT and they had me help train a couple of new people. I'm truly BAFFLED as to why since I was pretty crappy at that job. But anyways...Rox was one of my trainees, and when she was out of her training period, they stationed her in a cubicle across the aisle from me. I thought she seemed nice enough, but I had no intention of befriending her. Then one day, I come back from lunch and there is a coffee cake sitting on my desk. Just out of the f-king wild blue yonder, someone has bought for me a cake. And, Reader's Digest version--she's been one of my best buds ever since)

I was telling my sis about this croissant windfall (highlight of my damn day prob'ly) and she very practically pointed out how this practice might backfire on Barb big time. I mean, supposin' I was on my way to work at a construction site, and was charged to buy eats for the whole damn crew: 4 boxes of Joe and 3 dozen doughnuts!! That would hurt the ol' wallet , no doubt. Though the accrued positive karma would be terrific...

I sent Barb a follow up thank you email (with a cute little squirrel cartoon in it). I may be a mooch, but I'm no ingrate. Well, maybe mooch is not the right term as I didn't whine & whinge and coerce anyone into footing my breakfast bill. I'm a taker of advantage...a manipulator? There's got to be a smoother way of phrasing it...

Anyways, I do feel a smidge guilty about it now(not the Barb paying part so much as my order switcheroo) Guess I oughtta just "pay it forward" (can't pay a damn thing 'til after Friday though, homies...)

me mucho gusto musica

Here were the musical highlights of my commute home from work yesterday--

TV on the Radio-- Wolf Like Me I LOOOOVE this song. I know I've gushed so before but it merits re-gushing.

Dr Dog-- The Ark--nasty vid, great song. (I couldn't find a full track to share that was audio only)

Tom Jones-- She's a Lady--do not follow that link..it goes to a shitty remix version that I am LESS than impressed with (I just felt like it was only fair play to give TJ a link too) Oh, and I have the most marvelous Tom Jones pic ever...it is too , too marvelous to put up at this juncture, it would render me incapable of typing with its magnificence if I put it up now..you're going to have to wait until the very end of my post.
Anyways..back to "..Lady" I dunno if it's my #1 FAVE TJ tune, but it's high up there on the list. I've always been amused by this part in the 2nd verse when he sings " You can leave her on her own, knowing she's ok alone and there's no messin'' It's always felt to me like he's bragging about what a fine job he's done in housebreaking said lady. Haaa.

Now later on, I was chillaxing, getting tucking myself in for some ZZZzzzs, I shifted into classical mode. Here are just a couple of my favorite classical pieces..

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky-- 1812 Overture-- I suppose your BIG NAMES in classical music are Mozart & Beethoven (which, by the way, I always pronounce it Beet Hoven {long e & non silent H in my head}...like they do in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure) but I think Tchaikovsky is AMAAAAZING. I'm not saying Tchaikovsky isn't famous, but I don't think he's counted as one of the big, BIG NAMES (more or less, what I mean by this is that--tragically-- he's not apt to be given as a clue on $25,000 Pyramid when one of the pyramid squares is "Classical Composers") and that is a ginormo fatass injustice, that. And why no movie about Tchaikovsky?? He had a very dramatic backstory.

I have a briefer version of the 1812 on my iPod (it's about the last 3 1/2 minutes) and last summer, when my sis threw a 4th of July bash, complete with halfway decent amateur fireworks, I played it loud over the boombox for the fireworks display. Pity nobody seemed to realize how brilliant this was of me (besides me)

Erik Satie--Gymnopedies No.3-- such a beautiful ,beautiful song. This version from YouTube (that I linked to) is a pretty close match to the version I have (w/ orchestra accompaniment) I think Satie's original was a bit sparser, focusing more on the piano.

Sergei Prokofiev-- Montagues & Capulets -- Love this...gives me a similar thrill to the one I feel listening to Grieg's In the Hall of the Mountain King.

OK, now...as previously promised...what quite possibly is the BEST EVER photographic presentation of a popular recording artist... BEHOLD!!

Mr Ed, License to Kill

I once swore I'd never get into the mostly asinine "gift-giving" applications on Facebook. A select few of my FB friends seemed to use these CONSTANTLY and I found it obnoxious and stupid. I must somewhat retract that assertion, because I've stumbled on to a few rather cool gift apps I'm using now. Now even these cool ones I'm not being obnoxious about and disseminating them to mass multitudes on a daily basis , just maybe once a week, only to those I think will appreciate my pick...

So I'm revising my stance on it to say that it entirely depends on what gifts you are choosing to send out. I still find it pointless and dumb to send someone "huggies" or flowers on Facebook. The worst (and what appears to be very popular amongst the aforesaid select few) is sending out drinks on Facebook. WTF? A Facebook mojito is so vastly incomparable to swilling the real thing. If anything, it sucks, because it makes you hanker for a mojito, and chances are, you don't have any fucking fresh mint on hand, now do you?

But it did amuse me to send a few friends Garbage Pail kids. Now with those, well, it's not exactly the same experience as getting a real GPK, but hey-- you get the graphic, the punny name , it's a decent approximation, though perhaps a smidge less gratifying. I also used the "Tacky Gifts of Kitsch & Camp" app, and what I liked about that one is that you can pick something really wackadoo from waaaay out of proverbial left field and that kind of arbitrary surprise has comic potential. I sent the Ethel Merman Disco Album to a bunch of friends. I mean, c'mon...Ethel Merman + disco= how the hell can you resist being delighted??

The gift app I'm diggin' right now is "Monty Python gifts" and the more you send, the more you unlock, which is a big part of why I'm hooked-- I can't resist discovering which new MP stuffs will become available to me. And they all trigger little Pythonic flashbacks that make me chuckle. For instance, the pantomime horse that Paul just sent me inspired me to revisit one of my faaaave skits on YouTube....

today in the bathroom...

Don't worry, I'm not gonna be a hogger. (not this time)

At my office, we have 4 single seater potties (just a toilet & sink in the room, no stalls) --2 in the front half of the building and 2 in the back half. In the second of the 2 back bathrooms I hid a makeup bag in the spare TP cabinet. I have recently taken to locking myself in that bathroom --around 10am--and spending 5-10minutes beautifying. Oh, okay, SURE, I suppose I could take a few extra minutes in the morning and "put my face on " before work. But I figure, if half my office is taking 4 or 5 cig breaks a day, and just strolling out to the far side of the parking lot to loiter and devastate their poor lungs, then my 5-10 minutes are totally justifiable. I mean, at least my breaks are beneficial..to me, and to everyone who has to look at my sorry mug.

So, I just bought some liquid eyeliner this past weekend. First of all, it was e.l.f. brand, and all that stuff is just a dollar at Kmart. Secondly, I have *always* done a pencil eyeliner and wanted to try somethin' new. Liquid eyeliner is supposed to be good for doing precise lines. Ok, well the kinda shitty thing about precise lines is that if you don't have an utterly steady-Eddie hand, your liner looks kinda horrendous. With my usual pencil liner, I swipe a quick swipe in the approximate correct vicinity, and if my line is less than flawless, I just smudge it up a bit and it looks more or less OK. Not so with the liquid liner. Oh, and yesterday I got a large splotch of liner right on my eyeball (the right one) and the cleanup procedure there is rather nasty. UGH. But I'm much improved today. So I will continue on with the liquid liner..in the hopes of bettering my technique.

Oh, but is liquid liner supposed to SMELL so? This stuff I got reeks a kinda gasolinish stench.

Even though I think myself completely justified in my a.m. "beauty breaks", I think perhaps I oughtta cover my tracks by starting a rumor that I have I.B.S. Probably the most natural locale in which to let fly with this faux info would be right at the Keurig machine. As in : "Oh, I do so enjoy my tasty a.m. coffee, but dang it, does it ever raise heck with my IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME!! Heh, heh, heh..those pesky bowels of mine!!"

On my last bathroom trip of the day, I was suddenly inspired to try to fold the bottom edge of the T.P. into an artful little point, like they do in hotel room pottys. I failed pretty badly, but my attempts amused me more than they should have. I find that whole custom inordinately fascinating. According to the wikipedia page about it, it's primarily meant as a signal that your bathroom has been cleaned. I dunno. When I mull it over, what it really means is that some maid's grubby fingers have been doing extensive fumbling with my T.P. So if I were a germophobe, I would not be charmed in the slightest by the TP point practice. As it happens, I am probably too much at the other end of the germ-fear spectrum. I am a consummate double dipper, an only sporadic user of toilet seat covers (they get stuck in the ass crack, if you must know) it's a minor miracle that I have yet to come down with the H1N1 ...

He's GOT to be foolin'

I love C-Chan as much as the next chick, but Johnny Depp playing her in a biopic movie? Re-flippin'-DUNKULOUS!!

Siiiiiiiiiiiiigh

I keep *MEANING* to post but I'm mentally constipated. I assure yous though: I feel very bad and negligent about this posting drought.

I'm taking a loooong weekend this weekend (have Mon & Tues off) so hopefully that will leave me with some blog fodder. But just in case this weekend fails to inspire...think up a topic or two for me to jump start my noggin, please & thank y'all!!

tools

This morning I got to contemplating paper spikes (which, I discovered after a smidgen of Wikipedia perusal, are more properly referred to as "spindles") This started out because I was laughing at one of the managers because everytime someone from the state pops in for a viz, they always flip their fucking gourds, and get all sorts of panicky. Invariably they do a quick sweep (our managers, not anyone from the state) to make sure everyone knows an auditor is in house and make sure that you have your ID badge on. Now in all these many auditor ambushes I have been present in the office for, only twice have I actually seen these staties and NEVER have any of them frisked me for my badge. But whatev. It was not so much the action I was ridiculing but the excessive hysteria that went with, y'know?

Anyways I sez to Paul, I sez: "You'd think it was a brigade of f-ing STORM TROOPERS" And he replied "They act like it's the Crimson Permanent Assurance" and because I'm a bit of a Python geek, I caught that one right off (& chortled accordingly). I said "That would be AWESOME. Well, if I didn't get hit in the face with a filing cabinet drawer that would be awesome" And this triggered in my noggin some flashbacks of that battle scene. And the old pirate accountant fellahs brandish their paper spindles as rapiers.

And now I sort of want one. Don't know why office supply artifacts should fascinate me so, but they do. I'm imagining the small rush of glee that accompanies finishing a project (really taxing my memory bank on that one...it's been sooo long since I've actually been able to accomplish anything at work) . The physical rite of this is putting that paper in your outbox. There is (or I think there is) a measure of gratification in this task. I would bet that gratification would be amplified if you could be like, " I am sooo very done with this that I'm a-gonna IMPALE the muthafuckaaah!" Don'tcha think?

I don't think I could use a spindle in lieu of my outbox, but I just would like it as a piece of office archaelogy... possibly as a makeshift sword should the occasion arise. I put it on my dream office gizmos wishlist..just below the catchpole.

Speaking of battles, I judge THIS to be highly awesome.

Another banter subject today was Weird Al. I was saying how all of a sudden and apropos of nuttin', my oldest niece & nephew are way in to him . They've got him downloaded onto their iPods..they quote his songs. Oy vey! I don't know if I'm embarrassed for them or just embarrassed (OK, I do know, it's both) I don't wanna be hatin' on W.A., I can't deny that the dude is very clever with his parodies. But he just makes me cringe...it's a little bit to do with his unabashed dweebiness and A LOT to do with the sound of his voice singing. It's an irrational, reflexive kind of response that I feel's unfair of me but still.... I've counseled the kids: it's one thing to like Weird Al, but they really should try to keep it on the down low if at all possible.

Paul posited that Weird Al fandom may be inevitable around a certain age. He could have a point there. Around 1989, I was absolutely sure that UHF was the finest piece of cinema ever put to film. I've since abandoned that notion, but I'm still rather fond of the flick and it is a part of my DVD collection (I know, I know! After deriding the dude just 1 paragraph ago! HYPOCRITE!)

Any whoo, in honor of our "tools" theme, here is one of the movie's choicest nuggets o' parody.

8 times out of 10, when I encounter a spatula, that jingle plays in my head.

My ticket to a free trip to Finland

..I have always wanted to go to Finland. I pine for the fjords.

Better get training for the 2010 championships. I fear that if I were to excel in this sport it would hafta be as a carrier and NOT a carry-ee.

gesticulating on the go

When a driver makes the effort to yield for me, either when I'm on foot or driving my (P.O.S.) car, I give him/ her a little wave. I was thinking the other day how inadequate the wave is in this capacity. I mean, translated into verbal language, it's "Hello" , right? (or "ello-Hay" if you're some Pig Latin spouting wackadoo) I would like there to be some sort of simple hand gesture that directly correlates to the phrase "Thank you". The other day I considered flashing another driver an ASL " I love you". I refrained. Wonder what sorta reception I'd have gotten?

So-- sha la la la la la milady

Today I went to an hour long meeting training us on how to use our phones (phones we've had since January, by the way). Now, I'm hardly an imbecile when it comes to office equipment and I've figured out on my own how to basically use the phone. What I wanted from training was perhaps some little tips or tricks that may have escaped me. I really could've done with just popping in to the training, swiping the "quick user guide" cheat sheet hand-out, and bolting. But a whole hour of sitting there, with no one on my ass about doing something for them....that,I could NOT pass up.
Anyways, the billing manager, Pam brings her lunch into this training. This session I attended happened to be at noon, and that's when Pam takes her lunch. So instead of pushing her lunch back to 1pm, she brings her lunch to training. And I don't think it's that she was hungry. I do believe it's because she didn't want to tarry any longer than she had to in regions of the office that weren't her desk. She really is a Poindexter like that. She doesn't seem to grasp that one must sieze as much justifiable downtime as one possibly can.
So that is how I wound up sitting next to Pam as she ate her lunch (normally it wouldn't happen). And as she's cracking open her Tupperware, she's giving us all a disclaimer "Sorry if my salad grosses anyone out. I just kinda hobble together whatever leftovers I have kicking around and throw them into my salad." And I'm in the middle of saying " Oh, creative & eclectic cuisine--I can appreciate that." when I spy hot dog slices in her salad and the incongruity of that juxtaposition stops me 1/3 of the way through that utterance. And I instead inquire: "HOT DOGS?" I mean, a salad is like this garden of nutritious virtue & it struck me as kind of MANIACAL to just throw chunks of the food Antichrist in there. And she goes, "Yep. I told you. I just throw in whatever leftovers I find in the fridge. I got hot dogs, blueberries..." Yuck. I guess blueberries in a salad isn't TREMENDOUSLY wacky... I mean, a lot of people put bits of fruit in their salad (though I am not a fan) . But I was focusing on the blueberry-hot dog combo. Imagining a nice dog in a New England style hot dog roll (since I mention it, I vehemently feel that they should discontinue, immediately &forevermore, the other style hot dog roll --y'know the heel-o'-the-bread sided kind. Those are an ABOMINATION!!) with gloppy blueberry pie filling used as relish. SO. NASTY. Add to that a salad. Thanks but nooooo thanks! I said to Pam,"Any Captain Crunch in there?" and she said "NOOO. That would get soggy!!"

So didja guess what song I listened to on my way home from work tonight? Oh, didn't know you was supposed to be guessing, didja? Well the post title was a large-ish clue. I am soon to embed a vid and if you can't come up with it even after that big FAT hint..well, I'm gon' have yo' mamma put a cork on yer fork.




Such a happy, summery tune. Although, when I searched it on YouTube, I was hoping to come up with some kind of concept video (dunno what I was thinking...as the song came out in 1977...not too many concept vids out there then)
Also heard Uncle John's Band, which is most definitely my #1 top Grateful Dead song.
Oh, and a Michael Jackson song came on--PYT. Love that one-- it's one of my favorites of MJ's.
Y'know it occurred to me the other day (actually last Friday, right after the news had broken. Was listening to "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" on my commute in to work) that I've always had a small twinge of mourning when listening to MJ-- for YEARS and YEARS. Always there's this lament of " He used to be SO f-ng cool. It's a damn shame that he morphed into such a freakshow." Well, now I shall always lament: " He used to be SO f-ng cool. It's a damn shame that he morphed into such a freakshow. And then died." So really, it amounts to just a slight shift in my emotional response. I have always and will always love his music ( just the early stuff actually...anything prior to the 90s).

Tonight, PYT got me musing over the term "Tenderoni". WHO pioneered that one? This intrigues me in the same way that I yearn to know who was the very first to implore crowds to throw their hands up in the air and move them in a waving, careless sort of fashion (ha). I mean, logically, I do know what they mean when they say "Tenderoni",but I can't help the connotations that flood my brain. Totally feels like it's some obscure Chef Boyardee product!!

I gotsta go catch some ZZZzzzs, kiddies.

low key weekend

I have not very much moolah to last me through 'til my July2 paycheck, so the plan for this weekend was to lay low and not spend any $$. I almost managed to do it. I laid low and spent a smallish amount of $$.

Friday night-- Went to meet Laura & the little girls at Mc Donalds for dinner. They have monster Angus burgers there now. It was pretty yummy but..never again. If the arterial blockage doesn't do me in, the colossal remorse will. I figger thems run about 8 or 9 THOUSAND calories per burger. F*ckin' A!!!

Saturday-- Took my niece Chloe out for the day. We hit up this street fest in Claremont for a bit & then walked around Tremont Square for a while. There's a cute used bookstore there I'd never been in ('twas cute, but it's certainly no Encore!) and they were having a fill a bag with used hardcovers for $5 sale. Seems like I shoulda dropped $5 fer sure, but I just couldn't find any reads I couldn't do without. Chloe did well though -- and really crammed that bag to capacity (good girl!)!! Then I took her to the movies, but economics being as they are, we made a pre-movie trip to Market Basket and bought movie snacks there. I could tell Chloe was a wee bit nervous about getting busted for that but it worked out fine. We saw Land of the Lost. I had heard such vile reviews for it, but I kinda liked it. Chaka cracked me up and I SOO dig Danny McBride, I think I would watch him in just about anything.
That night I took my Mom out for pizza in Springfield. This place called The Subway.. they've been in business since1974. I know the exact year of establishment because their sign out front reads "The Subway established 1974" I presume that's not their original sign. I mean, I don't think an eatery would proclaim their date of establishment until they've reached a tenure where they are damned impressed by their own longevity. So maybe that sign was put up ...1990 or so? I like The Subway, like their old skool pizza joint vibe and their old skool pizza. They always have a lot of free reads laying about and I always enjoy a browse through the Picket Fence Preview ( a for-sale-by-owner real estate paper) and the latest Avon catalog while I wait for my grub. They have this ongoing special-- a 15" two topping pizza & two 20 oz sodas for $12.95. I think that's damned reasonable.

Sunday--Slept in and missed church. Went to my folk's house, where I tried on the Sketchers 4wheelers that have been banished to the attic for 8 yrs and tried my hand at rollerskating. Yep, I haven't the first clue about how to rollerskate and I bought myself these old school rollerskates. I think I was influenced as a young 'un by all the Sesame Street segments of Big Bird & David rollerskating that a romantic vision of rollerskating still resonates with me to this day. I mean, c'mon, doesn't this inspire YOU??



So, I used a high back white plastic patio chair as a sort of skating walker and skated up and down the walk (this is a narrow 10 ft stretch, that is the only paved bit in front of my parents' house that isn't sloped downhill) about 5 or 6 times. But REAL pathetic like. I mean, David in that video (and I refer to the jeans-clad reality version of David) looks like a damned PRO compared to me. The girls (Sadie & Lucy) came out to watch me. They thought it was a real hoot (glad I could amuse) When I went to turn around to "skate" over to look at a fat toad in the basement window well, I fell on my arse. But it was a slow motion sort of fall and I totally prepped myself for impact. Elbow in the grass, landed tipped to the side on the very meatiest of ass padding, held my head up. Sadie said "You should take those off now, Auntie." So I did.

Then I went with my parents to take the girls to McD's (their pick.. I just got a big soda and stole a few fries) Then we went to Home Depot -looking for a hanging light for over the new island in the kitchen...and Dad wanted me to help pick it out. They had a lot of cute options, but the problem was they all exposed the bulb(well all the nicest ones did), and in HD they were fitted out with nice globe-ish bulbs and looked fine but Dad is using the energy efficient spirally bulbs so those would look dumb. Do they make any energy efficient bulbs in a nice normal round shape?? Anybody?
Later, I laid out in the shade, on a towel on the mossy ground under the apple tree and read a little bit of Tom Robbins. The appletree is all over grown and the bows touch down to the ground, so it was like a hideout of sorts. Very nice and peaceful, and I wound up curling up on my left side and falling asleep. I didn't think I would on account of all the multitudes of ants and skeeters and various creepie crawlies that musta been traipsing on me...but I did. And Kermit curled up in the crook of my knee and had himself a cat nap. That Kermit is so steadfast and sociable and good natured...I suspect he is a dog in a cat's body.
Speaking of cats...have I mentioned here about Sugar Booger? About 2 weekends ago (the last weekend I devoted to "laying low and not spending $$") I discovered a kitten stowing away in my parents garage. He growled whenever you went near him, and he went APE SHIT LOCO on my Dad when he scooped him up to put him in the cat carrier. Anyways, we've since done a good job of socializing him (a little Meow Mix & scratching of the chinny chin chin works wonders) and I think he's a keeper. I named him Sugar Booger (on account of him being sweet and also having some nasty nasal oozage issues) Usually I just call him Booger. Or Boogs. Anyways, as Boogs has gotten progressively more snuggly lately, I've had the opportunity to get a close up whiff of him. The poor li'l fellah smells like greazy ASSCRACK. Or I oughtta say smelled like asscrack. Because after my nap, I was possessed by my inner 6 yr old and proceeded to give the cat a bath. He was really better about it than I'd expected him to be. He was clawing at the insides of the bucket a bit but I didn't get a scratch on me. And he didn't make a peep. After his bath he snuggled up on my shoulder and purred and licked at himself (either doing some QA work or because he likes the taste of the Chamomile Suave shampoo that I scrubbed him down with) for about 20 min. He *obviously* liked being clean. He was like, I wasn't a big fan of the bath but I do feel much better now. You were SO RIGHT about me smelling like sweaty ass before!!
YOU'RE WELCOME , BOOGER.
And then I ate perch, watched Futureworld on Comcast on Demand and painted my fingernails this cool Pepto Bismol pink (Wet & Wild # 215 "True Love" to be utterly precise). After the movie, I hopped on Facebook and uhhh..that about brings us current.

My sincere apologies for such a dull-ass post. But at least I made with the thrilling rollerskating footage, si??

macaw

And now that I've put it off twice, I feel like I've built up this needless sense of suspense for the macaw story and I'm sure y'all will be disappointed. It's really nothin' MAJOR, but just the same here goes...

Was working in the supply room the other day, and then I return to my desk and upon said desk I find: a printout of a wikipedia hi-res photo of a macaw. Immediately, I'm all, "Paul--what the HELL?" Because who else in the office, aside from Paul, would be gifting me with unexplained macaw pictures?? (I'll tell you: no one) Then I figured , well if it's not a Paul-o-gram of some sort, then somebody found a weird pic on the printer and just ASSUMED I printed it (ok, it's a fair assumption. I'm still a bit insulted though)

OK, cut to 10 minutes later, I have gotten the call to jet out to the wilds of Enfield and fetch some blood (the bosslady had drafted me for this errand earlier that a.m.) that I would then run to the DHMC lab. I hit DHMC and I figure...what the shit..I was waiting *forever* for that call to ring in and I skipped lunch...I am damn well OWED a chocolate croissant on company time. So I do not go directly back to my car after finishing up at the lab, instead I head over to Au Bon Pain. En route to said bakery (it's in the hospital) I see this nurse June in the hallway. "What are you doin' here?" I asked, not even noticing that 1/2 her right hand is wrapped up in gauze. And she sez: "One of our patient's birds BIT ME!!" To which I responded " Was it A MACAW??" And then I launched into this story about the mystery print-out on my desk and how maybe this is the key to the whole mystery (not in those words..that sounds like the jacket copy on a Nancy Drew book) I wonder if June found it funny (I did...later) that my primary concern was with making sense of this print out left rather randomly on my desk and that I was only passingly interested in her gaping bloody flesh wound.

I also feel as if this validates my many prior assertions that birds are wicked nasties. In this very blog, in fact, I have ranted about how macaws in particular are an abomination. If I'd been June, I woulda gone all Ozzy Osborne on the mo-fo macaw!!

One spot on the yahoo homepage that I always glance at is their list of the day's most popular searches. There's always very au courant stuff there, almost all "buzz-worthy" search subjects, but what I'm looking for is the other 1 or 2. Everyday there is usually at least 1 "WTF???" on that list. So that's what I look at that "Most Popular Searches" sidebar for. And I don't really explore that subject, or delve any further, I just want to know what the wildcard(s) is/are.
I guess it's just a bit of a twist on that old Sesame game of yore.. "Three of these things belong together, three of these things are kinda the same..." (gawd, how I dig that song/game..)

Today's WTF? popular search is Shaquille O'Neal. I mean, I guess he's been doing a lotta commercials with Ben Stein but still... who cares?

Macaw story still pending...when I've more time to type...

This morning, in a sorta roundabout way, I found myself fixated by famous vanishings. Or perhaps I oughtta say-- famous vanished people.

Y'see I had noticed it was famous literary figure Ambrose Bierce's birthday. Then I caught sight of his year of death being followed by a question mark (as in "1914?" to be specific) So I had to read the article on him and from that I learned that he VANISHED. I didn't know that!! Vanishing is just such a cool, romantic way to make your exit I think. Don't get me wrong, I don't wanna be doing that anytime soon (exiting). In fact, I could really go for immortality, I know vampires & the like kinda bitch about it, but I feel sure I'd be utterly fine with it. In lieu of immortality, I'm willing to accept making it to 134 years of age. And then at that point, how nifty would it be for me to vanish?? At 134 years old. You know, there's always some AP write up when the oldest oldster on record dies...well how much more interesting would that article be if that wizened old lady just vanished? One would think centagenarians are not so easy to lose track of. So it would just CONFOUND the masses...

Anyways, one thing I love about wikipedia (or the free dictionary ...same deal, basically) is its handy listings of things. Like they've compiled a list of popular French phrases and also of common Latin phrases (I consult that one quite a lot). Well all this a.m.I was helplessly engrossed in their list of vanished people. I know, I know.. my f-ing JOB is gonna vanish if I don't pull my shit together.

Speaking of jobs, I have a job interview with DHMC HR tomorrow. I really *gotta* fetch me some shuteye. I had an anecdote involving a macaw to share with y'all, but that's going to hafta wait until the next episode...

Toodle-ooo!!

other miscellaneous oddments...

Some stuff I forgot to mention...

1.) Father's Day. I bought my Dad Cajun snack mix, a $25. McDonalds gift card, & a Dirt Devil Kone (lame-ass, I know, but that's just the sort of practical crrrrap he likes!) Also we had a Father's Day cookout. I was on hotdog detail (cooked inside on the stove...pretty much included on the menu for the kiddos) and I did an f-ing AWESOME job on the asparagus...on the panini press. I don't care if it makes my pee smell hellah funny...it was super-delish.

2.) Library book sale....there was a decent one at the Windsor Library 11am-3pm yesterday . I hit it up after the parade and I got--

$1 hardcovers--

Why Do I Love these People ? by Po Bronson(for my sister)

75Years of Children's Book Week Posters (por moi)

25 cent paperbacks & kids books--

some educational book about famous buildings & monuments (for the kiddos)

Skinny Legs and all by Tom Robbins (for me-- recently, and I can't recollect where, I had read some maaaad emphatic praise for Another Roadside Attraction and for Robbins in general, and I'd never read anything of his but was put in a mind to)

Lullaby by Chuck Palahniuk (for me-- this is another author I feel I oughtta acquaint myself with)

May I Bring a Friend? by Beatrice de Regniers (a cute kid's book for the muffins. Sadie can read the whole thing herself--I'm amazed!! She starts 1st grade in the fall and all of a sudden, she is

reading like a pro. )

The Voyage of the Ludgate Hill (my best kid's book find; this is like a funny epic poem with terrific illustrations by Alice & Martin Provenson)

3.)Tees. I was lured finally by The Cotton Factory ad on facebook and I went to that site to peruse the wares. Me likey! I may have to drop some moolah there at some point. These are the tees I particularly fancied--

too much beer

Yesterday was fun. It's alumni weekend in Windsor, and for the first time in EONS, I hauled my carcass outta bed in time to catch the parade. It was at 10 AM. Yep, that's usually too early for me to make (heeey, it's Saturday! )

I parked just outside of the center of town and walked in, and I was surprised at how many people I ran into on the way downtown. I don't know why, I had just been presuming that it wasn't that big o' deal. (well, ya know *I*hadn't been going the past 5yrs or so...in my
Sandra-centric noggin that woulda had a HUGE negative impact on general attendance)

The parade theme was "Movies" (always a good one. Just wait 'til next year when my class has to build a float...we'll be faced with some dreadful theme like "Kitchen Utensils" or "Major Export Industries of Paraguay") The Cinderella float (Class of '69) was the best one, also "Bonnie & Clyde" ('59) and Ghostbusters ('84) were very good too.

The big talk of the parade though, was my hairdresser taking a spill onto the pavement and having to be put in a neckbrace & backboard and sent off in an ambulance for an MRI. She was not as I jokingly reported to my sister, knocked on her ass because she saw what I did to my hair the night before. I dyed it--red w/ strawberry blonde highlighting. Used Couleur Experte #6.4 Ginger Twist, to be specific. I like the color a lot (though,now that I've checked out the website, I think #5.5 Cinnamon Stick looks very pretty. However, that was N/A on the shelves of my neighborhood Walgreens. Bah) I really do like the color, but I wasn't all that artful in applying the highlights. It's not too bad though. Looks good pulled back and looks very good in ringlets) Anyways, back to Jill... and her spill (haa!) I was right across the street from the action but didn't see it happen--it caught my attention a nanosecond afterward, just saw that she was suddenly flat on her back on the road, with people rushing to her aid. At first I thought she fell off a motorcycle, and well, she kinda did, but I heard she wasn't even riding it yet, was trying to hop on the back of it. And uhh, yeah, that didn't turn out so well. It was a tense & scary half hour or so, I think the head injury SOP makes it even scarier (how they make you remain absolutely still). But Jill's MRI turned up nothing troublesome and I saw her last night at the country club and she seemed a-okay.

Ah yes, the country club. Ever since I can remember, the Elks Club has been the venue for the annual alumni "dance" (I use the " marks because there is a pretty minimal amount of actual dancing at these soirees. It's more of an alumni social. The primary activity would be milling around & drinking). This year, though the alumni assoc. moved it to the country club. Possibly related to my non-attendance of the past 3yrs, eh? I like to imagine the meeting going a li'l somefin' like : "Ladies, Gentlemen, one of our PREMIER alumnus appears to have lost interest in the annual alumni dance. Whatever can we do to entice Sandra back? It may require a bit of extra fundraising, but I believe we've got to class this bash up.."

Well anyways, it worked . The change of venue intrigued me + some light crowd-polling at the parade indicated there was going to be a large-ish turnout. So, yes, to the "dance" I did go...after a little pre-dance gnosh at the Harpoon Brewery Pub (it was in that parking lot that my car spent the night) The wings there, if I may quickly digress, are just so-so. If you like 'em sloppy and too fecking HOT, that's a good place to order 'em. Anyways, I got a ride from the brewery to the country club (about a mile down the road).

They had a hell of a turnout, really. Saw a lotta classmates I'd not see in forever. I certainly don't intend to be so outta touch with everybody, it's only that I'm a chronic slacker. When I actually do exert a little effort into socializing, I almost always have a great time!! Last night, I was a little excessive, but didn't do anything too embarrassing. I don't think... Naw, I didn't. I got hellah loquacious, and that was about the extent of it. (Didn't piss on my shoes like I did Memorial Day weekend. Hurray ME!!)

One smallish disappointment... there's this guy that graduated a year ahead of me that I had something of a crush on back in h.s. He was in an art class with me and my friend (who also dug him) and Becky (aforementioned friend) and I used to get all sorts of psyched &twitterpated when we got to mix plaster of Paris in the same bucket as him. Because we'd fleetingly bump our goopy hands against his. Very hot...or we thought so then. (our own little rendition of the Ghost pottery scene, right?) Anyways, I'd all but forgotten about this dude (Keith) until I spied his name on Facebook last month (he was a new friend of one of my FB friends) He's got the public-to-all security settings for his wall, so without friending him, I was able to poke around on his page a bit. I looked through his photos and--DAAAAMN! Looking better than I remembered. Looks a bit like Bradley Cooper I was thinkin' (was thinkin'). He constantly writes these New Agey motivational diatribes on his FB wall and really it's sort of obnoxious, but I'm a benefit-of-the-doubt kinda gal, (or I try to be) so I figure : Ok it's that rotten, cynical streak in me that's annoyed by these nuggets-o-wisdom...at least it shows he has some depth to him?? So anyways, to make a short story loooong, he mentioned on his wall he was coming to town for alumni weekend. I was pretty positive he'd be at the dance (you don't drive in from CT for alumni weekend and then skip the major social component of alumni weekend, y'know?) so that was sort of a motivating factor in my decision to go, I gotta confess. I was looking forward to chatting him up. When I finally got face-to-face with him for a tête-à-tête it was less than stellar. Firstly, was not looking Bradley Cooperish at all. But I am reasonable enough not to hold that against him. Secondly, he was drunker'n 4 tons o' bastards*. It would be hypocritical of me to frown upon his tippling when I , too, had imbibed a goodly amount. Word around the party was, he'd been drinking since noonish. I don't know if that's true or not, but it seems like it very well might take a big time & booze investment to get him drunk, since he is about a head taller than Big Bird (and since I mention that, he was looking gaunt and waaay too tan. I didn't want to dwell on the superficial aspects of the disappointment but, uhh, there you have it) And OK, so maybe I am hypocritical, but I feel he was TOO drunk. A nice, goofy tipsiness would have been perfectly acceptable. But he was like, unable-to-speak drunk. Not merely having trouble with sentence formation, or slurring, or stumbling over words...it was like he lost the capability of forming words. Total TROGLODYTE. I was not psyched, nor was I twitterpated.

But, overall, I had such a good time that that disappointment was barely a blip on the evening's radar. I did a pretty fair job of tarting myself up and was satisfied. (Well, I did have a little assistance--my 4 yr old niece Lucy was in the bathroom helping me primp--handing me hair pins to pin up sections & wielding the hairspray-- and she said "Oh, Auntie, they are going to LOVE your style!!" 'Twas SOO cute!) I took a 1/2" barrel curling iron and did all over ringlets (usually I don't have the patience to execute anything like that)

I fell asleep on my sister's sectional with my contacts in and they painfully fused to my eyeballs, so I got up (with a POUNDING headache) at 6am to extricate 'em. It had been many a year since I'd gone to mass in the same outfit I had on Saturday night. I was sorely tempted to skip, but didn't wanna vex the ol' man on Father's Day. I was kind of anxious about my P.O.S. car I'd abandoned at the pub. But don't you fret-- it was still there when I came for it at 10am..then,a coupla Advil, a coffee, McSkillet burrito, & a nap, and I was restored to norm.

* "drunker'n 4 tons o' bastards"--This is an expression I heard outta my Uncle Bud a couple weeks ago and ever since I've been dying to appropriate it for my own usage. Unfortunately it is not half so funny in prose as it is when you hear my uncle sputter it in his old timer Vermonter accent

notes

We had a 2hour all employee meeting this morning. Below is a scan of my very thorough notes...


I don't know what that flying hand comet dealie is all about. I mean, I know I drew it, but it freaks me out a bit nonetheles...

I'm baaaack.

With not much to say. But if Rumplestiltskin can spin straw into gold, then I can sure as hell spin jack shit into some semblance of a post. Huh? Rumplestiltskin not real? The HECK you say!! No, totally, he's for real. I know a dude who roomed with his bro in college.

Ok, enough fairy tale jibba jabba... what's new with me... Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

I'm kinda smitten with Lucky. It's probably my new fave periodical. I mean, I'm a longtime fan of the mag InStyle and Lucky does a similar thing, where it gives you pages & pages of must-own fashion accoutrement along with their purveyors & prices. Except in InStyle there's $500. earrings and $2,000. purses but in Lucky , the merch is generally >$100. So, really, InStyle is a safer buy for me because even if I'm drooling over everything, in all actuality, I have a snowball's chance in hell of buying any of it. With Lucky, there's some real temptation. But you can't NOT love it (if you're into that sort of thing) because they also have free give away opportunities in every issue & Lucky reader discounts of 35% or more in a lot of shopping websites. Siiiigh!!

The above gushing was utterly sincere. I am not being paid to praise or promote Lucky magazine. Though, I could sure as hell use a li'l supplemental somethin' $omethin' Conde Nast Publications, if you're reading this... . .

Back in February, I gave a shout out of sorts to a neon yellow Carlton Banks tee shirt. At the time of that post, I was saying how I came damn close to buying it but my wee reserves of self restraint kicked in and I did not. Well, probably I didn't update you, but I did, eventually, break down and buy that tee. Ok, that "eventually" is a smidge misleading, as I bought it about a week and a half after boasting that I resisted it. What can I say? I do so adore that 'Fonso Ribiero. Anyways, last weekend, I debuted the tee shirt, matching it nicely (I thought) with black short shorts, black flip flops& some very 80s throwback Ray Bans. The odd thing was...I don't know why it was... I felt like I was wearing a picture of Barack Obama. I mean, logically, I knew I never bought and do not own a Barack Obama tee shirt, but I dunno...a large, monochromatic head shot screen print of a black man...just felt like it must be 'Bama. Odd...

My parents are remodelling the kitchen. They knocked out the wall between the kitchen &dining room and put in an island (islands in the stream...that is what we are..) (sorry) and it looks pretty rad. Also they are going to replace the countertops and somehow redo the cabinets. I imagine it just kills my Dad to be shilling out all this $$ for purely cosmetic reasons,when nothing was actually damaged & necessitating replacement. But he initiated all of it...which tells me he is tremendously bored with life...

I can totally relate to that. But the onset of summer has me fairly stoked...I think summer has supplanted fall as my favorite season, actually. Every year it feels ...well, to be hokey about it, it just feels full of promise. So I'm tell myself to make good on that promise, eschew sluggishness and wang chung as much as I can and hopefully get some vaca in there too.

chess, squirrels, blah blah blaaah..

I know I vowed never to do this, but then I got an anonymous greenlight that it was okay to do it, so I'm renegging on my vow. Sorry.


So here's some email banter (looking over it, it's no f****ing shocker that I didn't amount to much at work today!!)

As before, Paul is Times (and repeats back bits of email), I am Courier & editorial comments in italic Arial---


Hammond , Hamel…whatev… I must have some other Hammond swimming around my brain (oh yes one of our HO patients for whom I’m trying to acquire a weird nephrostomy tubing dealie ) and it was too many Ham names for me to keep straight. Obviously. {My first email had been about some Hammond dude and wondering if he was any relation to this chick in our office and Paul had sent me a bewildered reminder that said chick's last name is actually Hamel. Which I TOTALLY knew}
I have seen a quintessential lemonade stand and actually my niece had one in Windsor a few years back during the town’s Heritage Days festival (which I think they’ve opted to discontinue…I always just suggested they try and make it less LAME, but apparently organizers weren’t up to that challenge) I bet you were so revved up for your impending PP meal, that you whizzed on past poor lemonade stand moppet. You know it’s because of people like you that you don’t see these real lemonade stands around anymore!! { Also he mentioned being charmed by seeing a classic li'l kid lemonade stand on his way out to Peyton Place recently. Peyton Place is this eatery that seems to be out in the sticks somewhere. Paul has RAVED profusely about it on more than one occasion. I'd really like to give it a go one of these days, but sadly it looks to be out of my piddly price range}
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>Hammond , Hamel…whatev…
Potato, Potahto…
I must have some other Hammond swimming around my brain (oh yes one of our HO patients for whom I’m trying to acquire a weird nephrostomy tubing dealie )
Weird nephrostomy tubing? I shudder to think what would distinguish that from normal nephrostomy tubing…
>and it was too many Ham names for me to keep straight. Obviously.
Yeah- too much ham around here…we should switch to other pork products.
>I have seen a quintessential lemonade stand and actually my niece had one in Windsor a few years back
That’s pretty nifty…
> You know it’s because of people like you that you don’t see these real lemonade stands around anymore!!
Well, yes, I suppose that I have contributed in my own way to the downfall of the lemonade-stand economy…shame on me.
In other news, in order to correspond with this person from Chittenden VNA, I had to sign up for this:
http://www.zixcorp.com/info/zixmail/ {Tech geek goodness...I did not/do not give a shit}


So, you did hear that the wreckage that they found from that missing plane turned out to not be from the plane at all, yes?
How exactly does one lose an entire airplane in this day and age?
Maybe it’s keeping the B-17 on the moon company?
Namaste',
Me
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No, I did not read about that. Didn’t they dredge those plane bits out of the ocean?? Well, I can’t imagine it’s terribly easy to find a plane in the ocean (‘tis reputed to be a fairly LARGE body of water) and certainly the missing plane du jour could still be in that same big ocean , cohabitating with other plane bits…would not surprise me.
But really, I haven’t been following the plane story (been too morbidly engaged by the Carradine imbroglio I guess. That just got significantly ODDER today, actually..) and haven’t read much more than just the headlines.
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>No, I did not read about that. Didn’t they dredge those plane bits out of the ocean?? Well, I can’t imagine it’s terribly >easy to find a plane in the ocean (‘tis reputed to be a fairly LARGE body of water) and certainly the missing plane du jour >could still be in that same big ocean , cohabitating with other plane bits…would not surprise me.
True, but what with the whole sonar thing, it shouldn’t prove *that* difficult to find at least some bits.
But, no, none of those bits they pulled out turned out to have belonged to the plane in question. It’s still entirely missing.
>But really, I haven’t been following the plane story
Neither have I- I just happened to hear it on NHPR this morning.
>(been too morbidly engaged by the Carradine imbroglio I guess. That just got significantly ODDER today, actually..)
odder in what way? I seem to have missed that bit.
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The 411 in a nutshell – two ropes, one black, one yellow, one not around his neck . Read all about it {the CNN story I linked to at that time is no longer there. HERE is their update}
It would seem the Murray Head song was right…when in Bangkok, it’s best to just focus on your chess game (other forms of recreation can have unfortunate outcomes) {Just in case you don't know what song I mean..check it out : lyrics here & vid below..}



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>The 411 in a nutshell – two ropes, one black, one yellow, one not around his neck . Read all about it
Hmmm…well, given that bit of evidence, there’s a third option besides suicide and murder.{one might delicately call it "misadventure"}
>It would seem the Murray Head song was right…when in Bangkok, it’s best to just focus on your chess game (other >forms of recreation can have unfortunate outcomes)
Last New Year’s Eve Kelly and her friend Danielle from Revels were alternating paragraphs from the spoken parts of that song back and forth to each other while it was playing on the sound system. I was stunned that they both had it all committed to memory.
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“The crème de la crème of the chess world in a show with everything but Yul Brynner..”
Some great lines in that song. I couldn’t recite the whole thing from memory, but I’d bet if it was playing I could sing right along. {after hunting down the lyrics & reading 'em thru, I think I was overstating my prowess here. I only know the Murray parts ...don't have the "chorus" lines memorized at all}
Particularly I like—“I’d let you watch, I would invite you. But the queens we use would not excite you”
Interesting to note that the song was written by Tim Rice (that part is UNsurprising, I knew it had its origins in some minor musical) and Bjorn Ulvaeus & Benny Andersson (the male contigent of ABBA.) The last 2/3 of that trio being the surprise (to me) But on second thought, I shouldn’t be surprised—ABBA is magnificent.
{ Now, the other fact I picked up when reading about "One Night in Bangkok" -- Murray Head is older brother to Anthony Head, one is inclined to suffix that name with "of Buffy fame" (Anthony played Giles on that show), but *I* would rather credit him with being in those terrif Taster's Choice commercials--



You know, they went quite a bit further with that storyline over in the UK than they did here. Here in the States they just abruptly discontinued the ads with no denoument whatsoever...I was *so* miffed!!}
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>Some great lines in that song. I couldn’t recite the whole thing from memory, but I’d bet if it was playing I could sing right >along.
I might be able to if it was playing, but would prolly miss a line or two.
>Particularly I like—“I’d let you watch, I would invite you. But the queens we use would not excite you”
That’s a goodie.
Any more, that song reminds me of Tom Robbins’s “Villa Incognito”, which has a few amusing scenes on the streets of downtown Bangkok (including a very amusing chase scene). I suspect that Mr. Robbins had the song in mind while writing those parts.
>Interesting to note that the song was written by Tim Rice (that part is UNsurprising, I knew it had its origins in some minor >musical)
Yep- I do remember that.
>and Bjorn Ulvaeus & Benny Andersson (the male contigent of ABBA.) The last 2/3 of that trio being the .surprise (to >me) But on second thought, I shouldn’t be surprised—ABBA is magnificent.
I’d debate that last sentence. {doesn't like ABBA..the wanker}For the first part, taking the music in to account, not a huge surprise, perhaps.
So, yeah, I’ve begun to suspect that Mr. Carradine may have been perhaps indulging in a form of entertainment that was written by the likes of William Burroughs and was depicted (with similar results) in the opening scene of the movie “The Ruling Class”.
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{I'm totally veering into new subject matter here...}
A patient of ours is getting a 2 oz catheter tip syringe but her nurse that called into the supply line said they wanted something a bit bigger—3 or 4 oz. I was having trouble finding anything on the McKesson site, but we know how craptacular their search function is…
So I was doing a web search for “3 oz catheter tip syringe” and one of the results I got was from the website: www.squirrelsandmore.com I just *had* to pop in there for a visit and once there I discovered they tout themselves: “Your One Stop Shop for all Your Rehab Needs”

Huh. Squirrel Rehab. Wow. Although, now that I think about it, the squirrels in my neighborhood do seem to have a problem. It’s not merely that they drink, but they steal it out of my liquor cabinet and then lie about it.
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>www.squirrelsandmore.com
Ummm…wow…
I have no response to that.
BTW, what was that site you mentioned with the user reviews of catheters? {Seriously, it's appalling, the percentage of my work week that's devoted to catheters. I don't know why I mentioned user reviews of catheters...it seemed to me a funny thing to review, I suppose. In other urological goods news, I don't think the urine collection hat should be called a hat. Why the hell isn't it called like, a basin? That's just misleading...in a bad way. Trust me, it's really not a very stylish wardrobe accent}
> Huh. Squirrel Rehab. Wow. Although, now that I think about it, the squirrels in my neighborhood do seem to have a >problem. It’s not merely that they drink, but they steal it out of my liquor cabinet and then lie about it.
They’re evil little buggers, they are. I bet they’re out there right now, brewing fermented nut milk.
Squirrel trivia for you: DC is infested with black squirrels. They’re not native to the area, tho. The black squirrel population all descend of zoo escapees. Apparently they breed true when they mix with the more common grey squirrels.
Namaste',
Me
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{And then, apropos of nothin' he sends me--}

In other news, although I generally don’t conform to “typical guy” behaviour, I’ll have to say I find it kind of fun having to explain to Pam which of the group that I think of as “The Three Women In My Life” are which and what their status is re: me. {I don't even know what the feck he's on about here, and I don't believe I wanna know. It may be some kinda prompt for me to delve into his wackadoo polyamorous private life but I was NOT going to go there!!}
Namaste',
Me
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{and so I responded with--}

I can’t process that. I’m still reeling over your racist squirrel trivia.
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>I can’t process that. I’m still reeling over your racist squirrel trivia.
“Racist Squirrel Trivia”. That should be a band name or performance art troupe or something…
I’ve occasionally entertained the thought of grabbing a few of the little buggers and letting them loose up here, so we can have grey, black and red squirrels scurrying about.
Namaste',
Me
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Hooray for squirrel diversity!!
Squirrel Diversity: Also a good name for somethin’. And a very noble impulse on your part. I commend thee, and take back everything I implied about your squirrel racism.
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Hooray for squirrel diversity!!
I ask you, what could be better than a veritable rainbow of rodentia?
>Squirrel Diversity: Also a good name for somethin’. And a very noble impulse on your part. I commend thee, and take >back everything I implied about your squirrel racism.
Why, thank you. :)
Namaste',
Me

Deterge yo' ass, fool!!

Hmm.. I did not know this was an actual word... (sounds like slang abbreviation or something)

Me likey.

FIGHT THE POWER!!

RRrrar!!

In digging about in the this-day-in-history files, I discovered that June 4th is a day for protest. And I ain’t talkin’ repurposing a cardboard box into a picket sign and loitering on the median strip. I mean EXTREME protest.

A mini timeline for your edification:

June 4, 1913—British suffragette Emily Davison throws herself in front of the king’s horse in the Epsom Derby with the presumed intent of raising awareness for the suffragette movement (she was carrying a banner for the WSPU* when she did the deed). She died the next day of her injuries.
June 4, 1989—the violent end to the Tiananmen Square protests in China

June 4, 2004—Marvin Heemeyer lays siege to much of downtown Granby, CO in a “Killdozer” of his own design. This was in response to a zoning dispute that obviously did NOT pan out in his favor. I felt the gesture kinda held some great comic potential until Heemeyer had to go and cap it off with his suicide.


So Paul and I were emailing back and forth about this--how June 4 has historically worked out to be “Protest Day” . And then in the midst of that discussion, I overhear tell of more nitpicky corporate crackdowns. We have this open plan office where what few cubicle walls we have are low. Makes for an airier atmosphere but privacy is utterly nonexistent. So I overhear Sheila (whom I have groused about before in this forum) laying down the law to poor Pat…well, here is how I rehashed the sitch to Paul (who missed the tete a tete)—

Sheila just came up to her with an Avon book (Pat’s name is stamped on the back of it) and schooled her on the agency policy of NO SOLICITATION. And told her she can peddle her wares in the parking lot but not in the office. Then she launched into some ridiculous jibbajabba about how selling Avon is tantamount to soliciting for the union. Or something goofy like that. She brought unionization into it anyhow.

I couldn’t resist—I sent Pat an email that said: “Not to be the devil’s advocate, but something about the smell of Skin-so-Soft does make me want to unionize” Trouble there is that Pat –even realizing I’m generally a cheeky chit—will probably take that 100% seriously.

At least when I got reprimanded about my wrinkly pants, Cathy had the good sense to pull me into her office (not that word didn’t get around in 10 sec flat anyways) I think it’s kind of shabby of S to reprimand Pat right out here in the open (it was a gentle reprimand…and it doesn’t sound like she’s getting a black mark on her permanent record or anything, but nonetheless people are *sensitive* about that sort of thing!!)

Y’know I AM rather annoyed by the VNA’s unreasonable crackdown on petty offenses. Perhaps I will throw myself in front of the North Country Courier station wagon as a means of protest. (They cruise in here pretty slowly…I don’t think it would be fatal)

And later on, Paul said something about conversing with a records manager from some other Vermont VNA and I accused him of stirring up union activity. I added that today would be the day to go all Norma Rae on our asses but please keep in mind that these chairs have casters on them as I do not want his broken neck on my conscience!!

missives from THA MAN

The following is copied & pasted from an actual email sent out agency wide by the schmeghead who runs our HR Dept.


Hello All,

It has come to my attention that there was a 1-page print out on the printer in the Lebanon mailroom. This print out was probably intended to be a joke, but regardless was totally not appropriate at all. It is not the best use of IS equipment/resources, it is consider harassment, and violation of VNA policies.

Certainly if you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to call or stop into my office.

Thanks for your time,

Mike Pukepuddle*, M.S., PHR
Director of Human Resources
Visiting Nurse Association and Hospice of VT and NH

*last name changed to protect the author....even if he is a @#$%^ing @#$%^

As it so happens, I did have questions & concerns. Just a few. Obviously my biggest most burning question is " WHAT WAS THE JOKE? WAS IT *VERY* LEWD?? OH, TELL ME, TELL ME!!" I think it's wicked to hint at a joke--one that was significant enough to prompt a royal HR decree--and then leave everyone hangin' vis a vis the actual particulars of the joke. It's like teasing us.

And here is my concern--this is the dude that has veto power over my pending raise. How is it fair that such a thing be in the hands of a dumb schmendrick that can't even manage basic 2nd grade grammar ("it is consider harrassment")? The entire email is a paragraph and a 1/4-- it would have taken all of a nanosecond to thoroughly proofread it. Ugh!! Idiot!!

Last week I came across this old CD of mine"Television's Greatest Hits; Volume 6" And I'm like -Ehh, what the shit? I'll load it onto my iPod.


So, then this past Saturday I was at a loss for what to do and I decided to just drive into town and take a walk around the block while I wait for an idea to percolate in my noggin. And then at least, if I fail to get inspired, I'll at least get some exercise. Now mind you, this was following a full day of loafing around... half way through the mile I'm really feeling it in my calves (probably was inadvisable to wear flip-flops) And I'm dragging my arse up this monster hill and it really woulda been an ideal moment for the Gods-of-Shuffle to send me a motivational message via something like "Eye of the Tiger" or Snap!'s "The Power" (hmm..preferably the former) but what should start playing on my iPod instead? THE THEME MUSIC TO THE BENNY HILL SHOW (aka "Yakety Sax") It #$%^ing CRACKED ME UP!! I suddenly envision myself zipping to the top of the hill all kooky fast-motion style (I didn't). It's a hell of a song though. I listened to it 3 or 4 times in a row. It makes you smile. Notice, I didn't just say "It makes ME smile" Ohh NO, it's a universal factual truth. If you are a genuine, properly-wired, human, Yakety Sax will make you smile. That's why they use it in Replicant testing. That was totally going to be in Blade Runner but Ridley Scott couldn't afford the rights so they subbed in some shit about tortoises baking in the desert sun. Puh! WEAK.
Another side-effect of that song...it makes me want to shake my tushie..or wiggle my fanny. It does NOT however, make me wanna SHAKE MAH ASS. Oh no..that anatomical motion is *exclusively* rap induced.

Oh speaking of ass shakers, I find it interesting that a lot of songs (on my iPod and in pop music in general) will fake me out with their opening chords/notes etc.. (example: the very start of Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" sounds like the start of some Shakira song. Also, when "Radar Love" comes on the radio, 8 times outta 10, I get a little stoked, because I'll think it's the beginning of Midnight Oil's "Beds are Burning" and that--though that may only happen to me--is particularly disappointing since I so dig "Beds.." and I loathe "Radar Love") Anywhooo , was trying to point out before succumbing to that monster parenthetical aside, that the starts of songs will frequently trick me into thinking they are the starts of other songs, but I only need to hear TWO very simple bass notes and I know without a doubt that we's about to launch into 2Live Crew's "Me So Horny". Damned if I know why, but those are the most distinctive bass notes in all of 20th century popular music.

Tonight on my ride home, the Family Feud theme music came on. It's no "Yakety Sax", but it also made me chortle. Dunno who Mark Goodson & Co. commissioned to compose that one, but I feel they got their $$ worth. As much as I love the whole Family Feud premise, I just can't get into the episodes without Dawson. What can I say about Richard Dawson? Dude is cooler than the other side of the pillow! I wonder, on the new Feud...do they still start out with the contending families posing in this frozen tableau like a live family portrait? I SOOO loved that. "PREEESENTING..THE GOOGLYMOOGLY FAMILY: DONNA, CHIP, GUILLERMO, HANSEL, AND SCHLOMO: READY FOR ACTION!!"