High School Reunion rant

I was going to post about this week's HSR episode, but then I was yakking back & forth w/ my friend Kara about it on email and got the sense that I had expended all my valuable insights (I was spent!) so I wasn't gonna bother. But then I got an anonymous blog comment asking about my thoughts on this past episode and I am always so tremendously THRILLED to find that someone out there reads this cyber-rag, that I couldn't withhold my HSR impressions after that.

But still...I am going to cheat (and yet confess to cheating right at the outset...because I do have qualms about it) and copy & paste my nutmeats of HSR insight from today's email discourse here. Be forewarned... it is the sort of stream-of-consciousness, unformatted format that I use for my personal emails...so yeah.... it's even more incoherent than my usual writing.


WHO elected Tom the Mayor of Reunionville? I guess he was a better emissary to go speak to Jessica than Octavia was, because O couldn’t manage to actually *say* anything in her Jessica conferences (just kept making her patented tight-lipped face of empathy ). And then when she (Jessica) came out to address the group, Tom was all “Well, speaking for everyone here..” and I was thinking (as I queried before) WHO elected Tom mayor of Reunionville? But still, I can’t criticize, because :a) I like Tom…he’s a sweetie and b) everyone did seem to agree with him ..so maybe they did elect him mayor in some off camera pow-wow (or probably just spokesman)

As for the mass forgiveness for Jessica… well I was kind of annoyed by that, and was missing classclownScott’s outrage and that villagers-with-fiery-torches mentality we saw a few eps back. And it was not so much that I thought Jessica’s tirade was soooo unforgiveable (it was amusing more than anything else) , but I think I was outraged more on Dennis’s behalf. I mean, what he did—whilest schnockered—was not ½ so bad as Jessica’s fit (in my esteemed opinion). Besides Dennis being drunk, we’ve since learned that he’s pretty stupid (but, in his defense, VERY sweet. I was super impressed with his hall pass usage this week…if the producers didn’t put him up to it, that is ) For example, I had to chuckle at his input during the whole Jessica caucus: “Hey, whatever you decide, that’s your decision” GENIUS contribution, that. Anyways, Reader’s Digest version: I guess it’s ok that they forgave wackadoo & accepted her back into the fold…but for sweetdumbDennis’s behalf, I wish they hadn’t done it so quickly/eagerly.

I also thought it was lame that when Scott W. ( understandably) cut to the chase and asked the very clear question “WHAT IS THE DEAL?” In response, Maricela babbled a whole bunch of vague and obscure gobbledygook and Scott instantly acted like that totally clarified everything. I was like :WHA? I was totally dissatisfied with that nonanswer answer. I wonder if she really told him some actual factual stuff but it was off-camera or edited out. That’s the only way Scott’s reaction makes any sense. I do like Scott W. but that whole match up with Maricela smacks of fraudulent showmance and I think HSR producers think the viewers are like “Awww. Romantic. Sweet. Awwww.” but it just makes me sorta gaggish. But I could be atypical.

Still, I don’t understand why all her (Maricela) protests were so very vague. I imagine I would just say, in no uncertain terms: “I am **NOT** ---nor have I ever been --a hooker!” if wrongly accused of hooking (actually doesn’t happen to me too often). Still, it’s very possible, that she had some clear rebuttal that the editors cut, in order to cultivate suspense/ mystery/ ratings. I am rather wary of those wily reality show producer types, don’tcha know.

Oh, and some reality blurred article from last week had a clip of an extended Jessica wig-out scene and they wrote that in the clip (I didn’t watch it) Jessica said something about proof of M’s prostitution being on some website. Wonder what that’s all about?? My best guess: M did a stint at a technically legal “escort service” (which could very well have a webpage) and during her tenure at said service one (or a few) of her gigs turned dicey (the line between business date & personal date blurred somehow) and she accidentally got paid for “her favors”. So maybe Maricela was able to forgive J's allegations so easily because they were –maybe not exactly accurate—but not waaay off base after all.

In spite of him being smarmy…and dumber than a bag of hammers, I really DO like Dennis. Actually, I would like to see Dennis get some love.. hook up with somebody on the show…not Kara. I would like to see him fall in to some unlikely arbitrary romantic entanglement. Sholonda would be too pat, in a neat, full-circle kinda way …plus I think she’s married . Is Liz married, I wonder?

I suspect I’m in the minority here, but I hope Tom & Kara just decide to be better friends and don’t try to give it another go. I’m thinking there’s probably a good reason they got divorced in the first place and the whole reconciliation plot seems like a good idea mostly because they are more or less quarantined in romantic Hawaii. That’s pretty jaded of me, huh? But of course they go to the prom together…no shocker there.

I have a feeling that Drew does get another shot with Lynette.. something I saw in the season previews gave me that notion. Eww. Even if it’s just for closure purposes…ewww. He doesn’t deserve it. Creep. She’s exercised due diligence …and then some. She’s 100% off the hook. He should take Jessica to prom. She loves to natter on about sex. He likes to cannonball into pools all nakey. It might be a Loooove Connection.

BLAARRRRGH

I was going to post some schpiel about March 31st being an awesome celeb birthday day but I was busy busy last evening and then when I got some free time…I got sick. So unfortunately, I have to post this list belatedly—
--BORN ON MARCH 31—
Christopher Walken [3/31/43]
Angus Young- AC/DC guitarist [3/31/55]
Ewen McGregor [3/31/71]
PAUL FROM THE WONDER YEARS! aka Josh Saviano [3/31/76]

Baaah.. Christopher Walken woulda made for a better big finish, but I opted to keep it chronological.

So last night, while I cooked dinner for my parents I did a load of laundry. Bueno multi-tasking, si?? I made a pork loin, potatoes au gratin, and steamed baby carrots. I was kind of amused at how I was listening to my iPod playlist of folk music as I cooked, and at the moment “Dixie” was playing, I was doing my damnedest to hack all the fat off this raw hunk o’ pork loin (Yeeeah…I’m not such a huge fan of “marbling”. I prefer to ingest my daily fat via ice cream, or in some other format where that fat is not so visibly lardish) Probably any authentic Southern cook woulda been appalled—if there’s fat on your meat—hallelujah! Slather some butter & Crisco on that fat!! So that struck me as amusingly ironic. That’s irony, right??
So after dinner I cleaned out my car. It was a long time coming. It wasn’t even “the works” as I ignored the trunk entirely (jammed to capacity, that trunk) and didn’t bother with vacuuming. Still it took me a looongass time to do it. Looks much better.
I wrapped the car cleaning around 10pm and set for a spell to watch the DVR recording of The Mentalist and was mighty peeved to discover that only 54 minutes was recorded due to lack of space. It cut off right at a pivotal moment. I wonder if I can get that ep on Hulu or Fancast or maybe the CBS website???
Then I ironed my dress for today and ironed a shirt for my Dad.

Oy, I think it was the ironing that done me in. It’s uncharacteristic enough for me to be cleaning my car…but then add to that ironing which I never, NEVER do. It was just too much of a shock to the system…. and said system retaliated by giving me colossal tummy troubles. My Dad asked me if I ate anything I found in my car (hardy haaar), but NO, I did not, so it had to be the ironing. Damn you, corporate dress code!!
There is nothing so reassuring, is there, as a steady grip on a plastic bucket when you’ve got torrential output at both ends. Bless my plastic bucket…I sprayed its innards with hot yarf 4 times last night. Oh lawdy, lawdy! It wasn’t the nausea that freaked me out so much…I was also getting cold sweats and lightheadedness. My Dad was very sweet and, at 4am this morning, he got up to smash the hell out of a dozen ice cubes (old skool style—plastic baggie & rolling pin) so’s I could have ice chips.

Anyways, by 7 this a.m. I felt fine. I hate to think it was something I ate (as that would imply a misstep in my stellar culinary preparations) so I’m going with “mysterioso stomach bug” as the explanation (even if one of the nurses here said it sounded like a reaction to something I ate)

update

I opted to come in to work today . The commute in (driving like a Cyclops much of the way) was rather dicey, and I was about 5 miles away from home and thought “This was NOT a good idea” And so it wasn’t. The fluorescent lighting in here is so unkind to my healing eyeball.

The PA from the ER was making it sound like I’d feel so drastically better by today that I’d feel like I don’t even need to keep applying the Erythromyecin good he gave me. Not so. I feel waaay better than I did on Saturday, and a skoach better than I did yesterday. But no way do I feel 100% yet. My left eye won’t even stay open all the way. In fact, it looks so freakish that I’m regretting that they didn’t issue me an eyepatch. That’s right—I’d feel LESS freakish wearing an eye patch. Currently I feel like I have eyes like Sloth from the Goonies.

Also, I wish I had Erythromyecin eye drops instead of Erythromyecin goop to put in my eye. Has that been invented? Someone should get on that if it’s not invented yet.

the damned NCLUAB has got me!

You know how a coupla posts back I was saying how I was annoying the fictitious National Contact Lens Usage Advisory Board? But that they couldn't attack me too fiercely on account o' my having made them up? Well they took that remark as a challenge and the bastards got me good.

So the upshot here is that I spent about an hour and a half in the ER tonight with a corneal abrasion to my left eyeball. There must have been debris of some sort or maybe a tear in the contact I put into my left eye. As soon as I shut my eye (after lens insertion) there was a STABBY PAIN. And then I couldn't reopen it again without mucho pain. It was all I could do to prop it open again long enough to get the contact out. But even after then lens was out I couldn't keep my eye open for longer than a second. I was insistent for a while that if I just chill with a wet washcloth on my eye that it would work itself out. After approx 6 hours or so of NOT improving, I let my Dad drive me to the ER.

My Dad was endearingly defensive on my behalf (not so endearing to the desk nurse, though) I had to stand at the window and answer questions and sign forms for like a half an hour before I got to see anyone. And my Dad gave the girl a gruff "Do you ever have anybody DIE before they get seen??" I was hardly in that bad a shape but I did appreciate the support.

Those numbing eyedrops they give you (so's they can look in your ouchy eye and see if there's a corneal scratch and/or debris in/on there)are friggin' AMAZING. They work really fast too. I wanted a bottle to go!! (but they won't let you have 'em) They gave me a tiny tube of antibiotic gel (apply once tonight, 5 x tomorrow & 5x on Monday) and said to take ibuprofin or aspirin for any pain. I took 2 extra strength Tylenol but they're really not doing a whole hell of a lot. Ah well, they're working to some degree, I suppose. After all, I am now able to periodically keep my left eye open for a record THREE SECONDS.

watched a spot of Comedy Central this a.m....

...and saw Bo Burnham for the first time ever. Usually I get bored with all-musical stand up, but this was exceptional. I mean, there's a lot of singing stand-up acts out there but he really distinguishes himself. First of all, I'm impressed when anybody can rap. Just the ability to rap dazzles me. It's just effin' hard to do!! Have you tried ?? I rap at my reflection in the mirror all the time...or I try to anyways...it's tres sucky. Well, NO, I really don't do that, not all the time anyways. I mighta given it a shot once or thrice. But my LAME attempts to rap along with my favorites is indication enough of how deeply deficient I am as a rapper. Aside from the verbal challenge of rapping, writing rap lyrics is beau coup impressive. If I could write a rap song, it would be cut rate, sub-bargain basement Sugarhill Gang type stuff and chance are the start of it would be along the lines of "My name is {insert 2 syllable nickname here} and I'm here to say, I {somethin' somethin' somethin'} in a major way!" I don't think I ripped that off of the Sugarhill Gang actually, I think that was a cereal commercial of the late 80s " My name is Barney and I'm here to say, I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way"
Woooah Nelly have I careened off topic!! Anyways, Bo Burnham= rad because he injects rap segments into more traditional (pop /folky) musical comedy. And his lyrics just dazzle with the sheer volume of jokes he crams into his lyrics-- lots of clever puns . I do appreciate a good pun.

Most thrilling Thursday night EVER

So yesterday evening I thought I’d take a smidge of a nap before tuning in to Ugly Betty & Grey’s . This was at 6:30 and I *thought* I set my alarm for 7:30. However, when I woke up later to pee, I had the distinct feeling that more than an hour had passed. I thought: Hopefully I’m just in time to catch the start of Grey’s. Then I checked the time—12:09am!! So I got up, hit the potty, and went back to bed. So, essentially I went to bed at 6:30 last night (unintentionally). I am such an old granny.

Props to ABC though, for posting full episodes of both shows on their website. I never bothered to DVR ‘em.

In Friday’s news, my right eye contact popped out when I was rubbing my eye (think I had had it in inside out) and I miraculously spotted it on the office carpet, took it in the bathroom, rinsed it under the tap a bit and popped it back in. I am sure the National Contact Lens Usage Advisory Board would have some not nice things to say about my actions, but I only have 1 pair left at home and am trying to delay reordering. Like, these are supposed to be 2 week contacts and I know I’ve worn ‘em all month. The aforementioned NCLUAB is annoyed with me on like, SOOO many levels. However, I do believe I made them up, so their wrath should be fairly bearable.

We got our pay stubs today (or paychecks, for people silly enough to forego Direct Deposit) and enclosed with them was a print out of the new & improved dress code policy. Oy freakin’ vey. One line that just slays me (and I quote): “Hair should be clean, neat, and free of odors.” I’d like to know who it is in management that is designated to roam the office sniffing our hair to make sure we’re compliant. And Larry told me (and I promised to keep it on the down low..but I’m not *telling* anyone else…posting about it hardly counts) that they really devoted a lot of time to dress code policy in management meetings. And this new policy is actually a lot more watered down and lenient than other options they discussed. For instance- there was talk of prohibiting offensive bumper stickers on peoples’ cars. I mean, that wound up on the cutting room floor but it does aptly illustrate how very thoroughly THE MAN wants to squelch my individuality. Grrrr.

Hawaiian Hookah!!

Was watching tonight's High School Reunion eppy, and my sister walked in & caught the tail end of it. She's not been following the show at all, but happened to tune in at a pivotal shit-hitting-the-fan moment and consequently was riveted. She asks me: "Is she REALLY A HOOKER??" How the hell should I know? Umm, check for her in the Yellow Pages? No, actually what I replied was "Maybe? Not sure..."

I mean, if Maricela is NOT a hooker, than the big reveal here is just that Jessica is batguano loco. And that can't be the big huge mindblowing shocker that HSR promos have been hyping all season, well, because that fact is such a huge, obvious, NONshocker. On the other hand, I wonder -- if Jessica's not talked to Maricela in the 20yrs since high school how would she know that M is hookin'?? Do their pimps play racquetball together or something? Or maybe she was a hooker in high school? It seems so very far fetched. Although, if she's not some sort of shady lady, why did the previews for next eppy show so many shots of Scott W making his mega inner torment face?? Add to that M's secretive & teary pow wows with Jenny... looks rather suspect. But my gut is telling me that they're going to pull some sort of bait& switch with this thing. She's going to have some kind of secret shame, but not quite as wicked (or illegal)as being a hooker.

I just don't know..

I've sort of avoided the HSR website & blog as I've been into this show this season and I haven't wanted to delve much into the behind-the-scenes stuff ('twould squelch the show's magic...it's something akin to seeing the Muppets with all those puppeteers affixed to their asses) but after this episode, I might have to take a peek. Probably it won't enlighten me much. From what I've seen before (perusing the HSR Season 1 blog) those blogs are carefully designed to not have any spoilers whatsoever.

chic to freak

So I was riding high after yesterday's sartorial triumph but shortly after arriving to work this morning I was brought down to Earth with a resounding THUMMMP! My boss called me into her office and told me that I was not compliant with the company's dress code policy but she would give me time to go home and change or iron my pants. Yes, not only was my jacket (a denim jacket...but it wasn't some kind of torn & acid-washed monstrosity. It was a cute li'l jacket from Target and it pulled the outfit together nicely) a no-no, my pants were too wrinkly. They were a bit rumply toward the bottom, but nothing drastic, I swear!
So yeah, I was miffed. Not at my boss, because I have worn that same outfit (to be specific: mauve long sleeve tee, tan & mauve houndstooth check scarf, denim jacket, brown pants that were like cargo pants w/o the cargo pockets & brown boots) a dozen times and it's been totally fine. She seemed like she really didn't want to be saying it. It's no coincidence methinks, that the agency CEO had walked through our part of the office about 5 minutes prior to this chat. This same CEO is very preoccupied with all these cosmetic changes to the agency that she's instituted, but I think it would behoove her to worry about the agency's myriad inefficiencies and insane turn over rate. I won't even be petty and say that she should worry about how nobody likes her. Ooops, guess I just did. But really, this dame is like your quintessential dragon lady and I am not exaggerating when I say she is universally loathed. Well, probably her family likes her. But she doesn't have many fans at work.

OK, I am getting a little overly irate perhaps. Thing is, I see the point of a dress code. I am not a total lawless, free-to-be-you-and-me hippy. In this biz, I can see how dress code can be a necessary thing. We can't send out LNAs with multiple facial piercings and monster tatts because that freaks out our old people patients. Our office dress code says: no jeans, no sweats, no flip flops. Sooo fine. There's no real practical reason that you should be able to mandate that, but fine, I'll deal. I don't wear jeans or sweats or flip flops. Today, I had found a grey area-- I was more casual than the honchos wanted me to be, (no doubt they'd like me to be suited up in some fucking Talbot's issued business lady costume--blarrgh) but technically I was compliant. And it's not like it was some wacky & inappropriate grey area--leotard & moonboots or something like that. Oh, as it happens, there's a lady in finance who will, every now & then, wear pajama pants to work. She thinks, because they're plaid (as opposed to having cartoon sheeps on 'em) nobody knows they're pajama pants. Man, if she continues to do that and doesn't catch hell for it...
Anyways, they should have just let me be. It was nitpicky. When management puts soo much energy into punishing such *minor* infractions of the dress code...well,it shows them to be foolishly hung up on superficialities. The worst part about it was that news of it spread like wildfire around the office. I didn't mind people coming up to me and joking about it. I mean, 'cuz that's my view of the whole episode--'tis pretty effing ridiculous. But I really coulda done without the coworkers that put a consoling hand on my shoulder and asked--in their most concerned and discreet tones: "Are you okay??" I wonder if they heard that I was caned for dress code violation or somethin'.

Someone told me today that I look very chic. Which is a pretty RAD compliment in & of itself, but the best part about it was that I had been walking around thinking to myself "Hey--I look pretty chic today" Get that? The exact same choice of adjective there. WOW, right? I was either spot-on in my self-assessment, or this dame is a pandering telepath.

Hmmmm.. am posting constipated. I think I need to maintain a post it Post-it, à la mon ami Kara. I could yammer on about last night's Heroes ep, but I suspect tomorrow night's High School Reunion will leave me with a lot to say, and so I'll delay a TV-centric posting 'til then.

Here's a kinda cool shopping site I found when researching Giant Gummy Bears on Sticks (don't ask). I was a bit fixated on it during my late afternoon doldrums today. While I mainly browsed their product offerings before, when I just now revisited the site (to get that link) I noticed they had a sort of trivia section. In said trivia section, they had booger trivia. Ohhh, a site after my own heart. Oh, cringe if you will, but the science of boogs IS interesting. Grody...but interesting. I remember, long ago, watching a booger themed episode of Beakman's World.

Anyways, enough about TV--back to purchases. I shall now complete my post by itemizing how I spent the $15 iTunes gift card my sis bought me a couple weeks ago. Yes--purchase itemization--the refuge of the uninspired blogger (or well, this uninspired blogger anyways)

I bought 2 episodes of Comedy Central Presents (stand-up specials) -- Doug Benson & Dan Cummins. Y'know I really do like Doug Benson, but I've seen him be much funnier than he was on his Comedy Central special (like when he was on Last Comic Standing, for instance) Incidentally, I'd been browsing the Comedy Central offerings looking for some Gary Gulman but no dice. Still, it's cool that they've put all that stand up on there. If you are now inspired to rush to iTunes to git you some Comedy Central Presents goodness, I would recommend you get the episodes (I think there are 2) featuring Nick Swardson. Thems are hellah funny and the only reason I didn't wanna purchase those was because I've seen them so many times I could probably lip synch to his act.
I also bought Episode #4 of MTV's The State. It's sort of random & out of order to start in at #4 I know, but that episode had in it Barry & Levon & $240 worth of pudding and for me that is the most resounding (albeit ridiculous) thing from that show. The best part is Thomas Lennon *whispering sweet nothings* to the pudding mound: "Ohhhh puddin' you lookin' so RIGHT" HAA.
For music I bought--
SOME FOLK STUFF--
Black Jack Davey [by Mike Seeger]
Shady Grove [Doc Watson]
SOME NEWER STUFF--
Heartless [Kanye West]
I'm Yours [Jason Mraz]
SOME KID STUFF--
I've Got no Strings [from Disney's Pinocchio-- yes, I love this song]
It's a Small World [many consider this the world's most annoying song, but I just adore it. Plus--bonus-- this version features Maurice Chevalier singing and the hyper-Frenchy Frenchiness of Maurice Chevalier --especially when set to music--never fails to amuse me]
80s NEW WAVE GOODNESS--
Just Can't Get Enough [Depeche Mode]
SWINGIN' STANDARDS--
Nice Work if You Can Get it [Frank Sinatra]
MORE FRENCHINESS--
Je t'aime moi non plus [Serge Gainsbourg; Maurice Chevalier had me in a French sorta mood. But I do want to expand my iPod's repertoire of "international music" . And also Folk. I want more old timey Folk/ Blues/ Bluegrass type stuff ]

Been over a week since I last posted. Arghhhh! Bad me.

I've started playing Scrabble on Pogo.com. There was an advert on the telly for it--really the most quick & basic commercial imaginable-- it was like the pogo logo (ha! RHYMING!) and a voiceover saying, "Play Scrabble at Pogo.com! www.pogo.com/scrabble!" And that was all I needed. I was all, "Heeey, good idea, that!" and 5min later I was at it. Quite the effective commercial, I'd say. So either there was some subliminal messaging going on in that or I'm just severely predisposed to wanna play Scrabble. I think the latter, because I bought it for my iPod and play it all the damn time. I thought having actual live competitors would kick it up a notch (BAM!) for me. Come to find out, I'm rather shitty at online Scrabble. You know what my biggest problemo is? Online Scrabble accepts all sorts of words that are total BULLSHIT (starting with the excessive "2 letter word" list they provide players with) and I have an ethical problem with playing them, even if the game sez they're kosher. For instance, they have this scrolling message that congratulates the big winners of various Pogo games and it also gives shady Scrabble tips--one of them being "Did you know that ZA is a another term for PIZZA?" No , No, it is NOT. I don't care if the Z lands on a g-d triple letter score square, I will NOT play the word "ZA", you imbeciles!! The scrolling Scrabble tips also proclaim what a great word "BRRR" is to play. What the mangy mongoose fuck is WRONG with you eeediots? And the proverbial icing on this idiot cake (a 3 layer idiot cake, by the way) is that it rejected the word AZTEC when I tried to play that. I know that in traditional, sane& righteous type Scrabble, "Aztec" would be shot down on account of being a proper noun or somethin' like that, but this Scrabble thinks 'Za" is a bona fide synonym to the word 'pizza" so I think, I'm playing loosey-goosey anything effin' goes Scrabble, so why not give "Aztec " a go? But no! Shit no!

I still want to play. I must have a mighty powerful Scrabble addiction.

Another thing that struck me about He's Just Not That Into You... the movie seemed extra product placementy--what with the CVS shopping & Crest White Strips, & American Spirit smokes. It didn't particularly bother me, I just noticed it. And if **I** noticed it, it had to be pretty blatant.

I must confess: I am totally ghetto in the movie theater—I run my mouth throughout the whole feature. I had fooled myself into believing that I saved my commentary until I had a real witticism to impart (doing sort of a restrained MST3K sort of thing), but that is not the case. Yes, a good deal of my commentary is of the comic variety, but I also find I do a lot in the “Oh no he di’ in’t!” vein. In my defense though, I keep it pretty much sotto voce.

I came to this realization (that my theater chatter had gotten out of control) last night when I went to see He’s Just Not That Into You. For the majority of the flick, I was not able to see Bradley Cooper come onscreen without hissing, “You BASTARD!!” and, during one scene in Home Depot, verbalizing my wish to see him run over by a fork lift. In Scarlett Johansen’s first scene in the movie, she got totally geeky over winning a cooler, and I found it kind of endearing, and I thought: Wow, a movie where I might actually like ScarJo—how novel! Well, soon after, I did a drastic 180, and in fact, for much of the movie, I couldn’t see ScarJo come onscreen without sputtering “WHOOORE!” Not to give anything away. Heaven forfend that I let fly a dreaded spoiler. People are freakin’ RABID about spoilers, are they not? I’m recollecting an instance where I posted a question about a movie on its IMDB message board, and instead of the clarification I needed, I got RIPPED A NEW ONE because I had posed the question and neglected to put SPOILER in the subject line, bracketed by the obligatory 15 asterisks. C’mon now. Browsing a movie’s IMDB message board is like traipsing through a spoiler mine field and if you’re SO intensely spoilerphobic, perhaps you should refrain from doing so until after seeing the movie, eh? Jackass. But I digress….

My reactions weren’t ALL negative. Overall I dug the movie, even though I was planning not to (because I wanted to see Watchmen more, but Rox was too chickensh*t to see that) Oh, and if you didn’t “Awwww” in response to Justin Long saying [*SPOILER ALERT*SPOILER ALERT*] “You’re my exception.” well, then you’re made of stone. I gotta say, this movie made me kinda wanna marry Justin Long. And Ginnifer Goodwin was actually likable/ adorable enough to be worthy of him. So that storyline was gratifying. I thought Kevin Connelly was cute too…particularly that little vignette during the end credits, that was another “Awwww” from me.

I wasn’t the only one talking by the way. I’m pretty sure some chick on the other side of the theater was also calling Bradley Cooper bad names. Oh, y’know, one of the trailers before the feature was for All About Steve, in which Bradley Cooper plays (you guessed it) Steve. And I think Steve is actually not supposed to be a a-hole…or maybe Steve is an a-hole who reforms during the course of the story. Either way, I don’t know if I’ll be able to buy Bradley Cooper in such a role. Total, irredeemable a-hole is the guy’s specialty, am I right? I’m searching my brain for anything I’ve seen the guy in where his character was a decent human being, and I’m coming up with nada. Oh, and Roxanne was talking too. Not a lot…but she kept saying “I’m confused. There’s so many characters!!”
Sheesh--makes me glad I didn’t talk her into seeing Watchmen!!

Funnies

I don't know about y'all, but I just had a SHIT day at work today. So I thought it would be good to share some yuks wid yous.

This one is quite whispery, so turn your volume WAAAY UP. Unless you're at work that is. DO NOT play this loud at work. NSFW audio. But mucho hilario.



Often while I'm totally cracking up at crass & stupid shit like that I am simultaneously marvelling at how amazingly infantile I can be. I wonder --is it normal for a grown person--and a woman for that matter-- to find the word "boobies" so funny? Like, it never fails to amuse me. I can't fathom it. It's possible I need a check up from the neck up.

I think there's just this sect of words that just magically & innately exude the funny . Here's a few off the top of my head:

• Boobies
• Poop
• Cucca(sp?) (my mother told me once this was my first word...I suspected she was foolin' me but never determined for certain)
• Slacks
• Fanny (both "slacks" and "fanny" sound with a funny Midwestern accent when I hear them in my head)
• Dungarees (my parents use this word... totally in earnest though! HAA.)

By all means let me know if I left out any of *your* faves!! But, I must leave it at that before I regress any further. 'Tis high time I log off and catch some ZZzzs. ...

Vince Vaughn off the market! Say it ain't so!!

Read it and weep, girls.

The nerve of this dame, marrying MY Vince Vaughn. If I were in the LA area, or if I had the wherewithal to put myself in the LA area, I would hunt this chick down and administer a harrowing interrogation vis a vis her Intentions with darling Vince. Y'know, the classic intentions talk. You grew concerned upon reading the word "hunt", am I right? Well, simmer the hell down. I'm not as unhinged as all that!

After all, it coulda been worse. I would've been TREMENDOUSLY disappointed in VV had he proposed to that horrid Jennifer Anniston... So, yeah, in light of that chilling alternate reality: CONGRATS, BABY!!

Misc. TV blather

HSR RANTINGS--
Is it whack of me to find the anti-Dennis coalition more tiresome than Dennis himself? Oh WAAAH, people! It was like they could NOT get enough of conferring about his behavior, concluding and reconcluding and reiterating ad nauseum that it was Unacceptable and Unforgivable to act in that manner. Except for Liz, who took the occasional break from this practice to reflect on how Jenny’s defense of Dennis is such a great illustration of what an evil bitch Jenny is. I agree that Jenny *does* seem deeply bitchy, but Liz is an irritating whiner and that may be even worse. But you know who is the most irritating of the whole lot?? ClassclownScott!! In the opening credits they intro him as “the class clown” and instantly I’m inclined to like him…. but then…quel suprise!...we find the guy’s a tremendous prig. Shouldn’t a card-carrying class clown have more hakuna matata spirit than this guy?? Manny was not exaggerating all that much when he said "They're acting like he (Dennis) murdered somebody" The apex of their ridiculousness was when they were gathered for the big oust-or-forgive symposium and Jenny said something about forgiveness being best and ClassclownScott WENT *OFF*. He's all sputtering "That's horseshit, that's just HORSESHIT!" and he sprang up from the sectional because he had to take a turn about the room in order to cool off. If you want the guy out of the house, whatever, fine. But if you open the issue up to debate, try not to rupture a forehead vein when someone expresses a contrary opinion, matey!!

I TOTALLY called Scott W's hall pass shocker. The one they hinted would "stun the class?" Yep. I totally called it. I didn't call it here in this forum so you'll just hafta take my word for it...or ask Kara. She'll tell ya. Anyways, I thought Scott was rather a sweetie to take Dennis out on a li'l bromantic spear fishing "date". Scott W is probably my #1 fave on the show of the alums arrived so far (with Tom a close 2nd & Kara &Maricela tying for 3rd) which is why I'll be beyond peeved if he succumbs to the vapid charms of Jessica. Ugh. Scott W. is such my fave that I've bothered to remember his differentiating last initial. I keep forgetting ClassclownScott's last initial, hence his becoming "ClassclownScott". And the other Scott, even though the show calls him "The Loner" I am opting to christen him "NondescriptScott" My feeling is, that if you're a Scott, in a class of about 9,000 Scotts, you should perhaps try to bring a li'l somethin' to the table personality-wise , y'know? So yeeeah, I'm pretty underwhelmed by the guy.And even though Kara said what a great, nice, fun date she had with him (they all gush about how terrif their snoozy-seeming dates are, don't they? With the exception of Dennis & Scott W, that is) she was probably underwhelmed too. To be fair, I'm sure it was tough for the poor schlub to convey any strong sense of his character when his date keeps nattering on about her ex-hubby (tsk, tsk! that's an OBVIOUS no-no, Kara!)

Lastly, how 'bout that classic cliffhangery ending? Don't tell me they didn't plan that!

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WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES...

Monday night I caught the premier of the Barry Gibb Talk Show--er , uh, I mean Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I always adored Jimmy back in his SNL days. Then he left, did a movie or two that I skipped, and I kinda forgot about him. I was stoked to hear he was returning to TV. But even as overly merciful as I am, I thought it was BAD. It's understandable to be nervous for your first show, I get that, but the fact remains that it was a bit painful to watch. It was first show nerves + him being starstruck by DeNiro equalling the MEGANERVOUSNESS that pervaded the show. Now, there weren't continual rivulets of perspiration streaming from Jimmy's hairline but if there had been they would have fit right in with his demeanor . I mean, the nervousness was so huge and obvious that it made you squirm with empathetic nervousness. So, in summation : bad. But I was relieved in a way, because it resolved my inner turmoil over whether I would keep tuning in to Craig Ferguson (whom I love) or if I would become a Fallon viewer.

The one thing I did LOVE about Fallon's debut show (and I type that LOVE in all caps because I loved it so) was Justin Timberlake's appearance on it and his impressions right near the end of the show. Particularly him doing Michael McDonald singing a Bud Light with lime jingle. There just should be MORE Michael McDonald impressions in the general realm of impressionism I say.

Anyways, I happened to flip onto Fallon's show last night and ZOINKS!! Something really clicked for him at some point between Show #1 and Show #3 (could possibly have clicked during Show #2--I dunno, I missed that one) His Wednesday show was really, really good. So now I do have the Ferguson vs. Fallon dilemma, but of course the sensible answer is fucking go to bed before Letterman because I never get enough sleep!!
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AND ABOUT TV I'M *NOT* WATCHING--

I just have to kvetch that it *kills* me that the long awaited second season of Flight of the Conchords is running right now on HBO and I (with the super economy pirate deal I get on cable) am incapable of watching it. And o' course, those HBO bastards are stingy with their programming--no freebies on Hulu and no full episodes offered on their website either. BAH. Now, the songs from every new episode are being released on iTunes right after the episode airs, but as for actual episodes for download, they only have Season 1 available...which I already have on DVD. So I reiterate: BAAHH.

Was home sick yesterday. Unlike my last “sick day” I really was illin’ yesterday. Congestion, sore throat, sneezies, etc…your garden variety cold tribulations. I worried that I looked suspect because my sniffles coincided with that snow squall, but we didn’t even get a whole lot of accumulation here. And I’ve definitely driven in a lot worse conditions. Plus, I really *was* sick!! It’s sorta redonkulous when your sense of job insecurity makes you paranoid about taking sick days when you’re sick and stress about your credibility when you’re telling the truth. I’m feeling crummy all day yesterday, and still I’m obsessing : “Is this reeeeally sick enough to justify a sick day?”

So, after last night’s Heroes I finally know what you can accomplish with cut-rate Aquaman powers. Apparently they’re indispensible for hiding in backyard swimming pools. Also probably if you were being chased in a more rural area you would be able to jump in a pond or lake and you wouldn’t need to break a reed off to use as a makeshift snorkel –a definite boon, as that reed-cum-snorkel scenario never turns out well because invariably BEES swarm down your snorkel. I’ve seen that happen A LOT. Actually, that usually happens when it’s bees that are chasing you in the first place...and you're a cartoon character. So..I guess there’s still not a HUGE range of applications for that power. But let’s not forget the underwater makeout session. That’s a neat trick.. .almost makes me wish Alex were staying on the show longer. He’s fairly easy on the eyes too, I’ve noticed. (But what’s with the glasses? Reading glasses? Strictly a fashion accessory?? They seemed to be rather optional. )

Poor, poor, Parkman. How’s he gonna get outta this jam?? Somethin’ like this has got to make him wish he was still stranded in Africa with that dude that fed him loco fruits and called him Pac Man.

The previews for next Monday’s episode hint that Nathan might somewhat redeem himself vis a vis defusing the bomb-strapped Pac Man. Not that I care much if Easter Island nog redeems himself. I don’t particularly like him. But surely that would make SweetPete happier… so of course I’m for it.

So the big questions that have me tuning in next week—WHO could “Rebel” be? When that handle first showed up (on a text to Claire telling her to save Alex) I had presumed it to be a code name for Peter. But obviously that’s not the case—since Parkman & Peter are now getting transmissions from Rebel too. The show is trying to hint that it might be Angela (nope-red herring—it’s not her). But I’m sure it’s supposed to be a surprise and I think the most obvious surprise pick for Rebel is Nathan or HRG…with Nathan being more likely. But I can’t recall if they’ve both had opportunity or not. And why would they repeatedly involve Claire when they both seem to genuinely want her to freeeekin’ chill-lax and butt out of things? So I guess I’m stumped. Is it a future Hiro that’s had his powers restored? Maybe Rebel has that machine-manipulating power that that Micah kid had. Well, I’m just dying for them to bring Eric Roberts back (in any capacity) so I think it should be him. Yeah, yeah, his character was shot, but the writers could get around that point easily enough. Oh, and what happened to Invisible Claude anyway?

Second nagging question—who will they bring in to play Sylar’s father? I think it would be too cheesy in a coinky-dinky sorta way to have a pre-existing character be the Poppa. But they’re going to have to cast somebody that has beaucoup presence. Plus he has to be waaay menacing. Maybe not overtly menacing, but subtle about it. A veneer of calm showing creepy glimpses of a massive underlying evil. Dream casting??? Richard Simmons! Just foolin’…I actually stumped myself on that one. I’ll hafta ponder that…

Oh, I also watched Chuck last night. I always watch Chuck, but never post about it because, although it's fun, it's not particularly noteworthy. It lacks pith. It's the TV equivalent of a marshmallow Peep if that conveys it any better. The only reason I post about it now is because they brought in this guy to guest for a few episodes as a MI6 agent and--Mmmm mmm. A fine specimen, that one. I have a thing for a Brit/ Scot/ Aussie accent though. Case in point: I was also mighty pleased by the dude they cast as Colin on Ugly Betty (another show I watch regularly but never post about due to its frothiness) and consequently was very vexed when they showed him to be a thieving bastard in last Thursday's eppy.

I was in Holyoke at the megamall today and spent too damn much money. I am well aware of how predisposed I am to excess spending right after payday...I shoulda taken that in to consideration and stayed faaaaaar away from the mall--from ANY mall.

Well here's one thing I refrained from buying although I was severely tempted-

Spotted that in Target, This picture really doesn't convey well how very NEON YELLOW the tee is. That's really what helped me to abstain--not the fact that it woulda been a totally frivolous & needless expenditure, but that I wasn't sure I could get away with donning that color. I probably can't. But chances are still good that I will snatch this up on my next Target expedition.

It's reDONKulous how much this cracked my ass up!!

my Idol!!

White Wedding: Literal Video Version - watch more funny videos

The guy that did that has 3 other "literal videos" that also cracked me up. But I had to post this one because...I heart Billy Idol. But I heartily recommend going to their website and watching 'em all.

Speaking of 80s classics...I was driving tonight and my iPod served up Corey Hart's "Sunglasses at Night". As it happens, I keep a shades stash in my car...and there they were, within arm's reach, 3 of my fave pairs. I couldn't help myself. I put on the very rad silver aviators (had been looking for aviators forevah and finally found and bought the perfect ones at TJ Maxx 2 weekends ago). It was kind of hard to see, but to pay suitable homage, I kept 'em on for the duration of the song.

Lent is off to an iffy start...

So I'm no good at Lent, apparently. I decided on Wednesday that for Lent I would give up chips, chocolate & cheese and only drink soda on the weekends. I don't know why Lent resolutions so often wind up being dietary in some way. I guess the Vatican puts us in mind of dietary restrictions with the whole "no meat on Fridays" deal and then we get lazy creatively and just expound on that. I thought that it would be hard for me to ditch soda entirely, considering how much I drink so I thought it would be a significant enough reduction if I just confined it to the weekends. I don't know why I thought soda deprivation would be so trying...sure, I love me some soda, but there are many, many, many other tasty beverages. But the other 2--oy!-- have been a challenge. I say, the other two because I've never been a big chips fiend. Oh, I like 'em alright, but going without 'em has been (and will continue to be) a cinch. I think I just added chips to the list for the alliterative effect. But every now and again, I get a massive hankerin' for chocolate. And the hardest of all to bear will be cheese deprivation. I mean, did I not , just recently in this very forum, proclaim: CHEESE IS MAGIC? I did, and I wasn't being hyperbolic in saying so. I really mean it. I've been pretty good, but my id keeps thwarting me in subtle, under-the-radar ways.

For instance: Thursday night I hit up Dunkin Donuts and got an everything bagel toasted w/ plain cream cheese. Honestly, I was half way through the damn bagel before it dawned on me: cream cheese is cheese!! Is it retarded that I didn't pick up on that immediately? I guess I just wasn't thinking cream cheese when I conceived of the cheese ban. Obviously. Then today I almost slipped up again. Larry offered to buy me lunch and after the obligatory feigned refusal, I took him up on it. And I thought-- hey, Friday+Lent=primo opportunity to try the new Fish Sammich at Wendys. So I tell Larry I want the Fish Sami meal at Wendy's and he asks me "And do you want a Frosty?" Now, if you are asked "Do you want a Frosty?" and you don't reflexively say "YES PLEASE!" then well, you may be a robot. That actually was in the "Are You A Replicant? " Quiz that Decker administers in Blade Runner-- I think you have to have the Director's Cut to see that bit or Director's Cut Redux, I can't remember. So I send Larry out for Fish sammi, fries & Frosty and it's only when he's gone that I belatedly remember "Oh shit damn fuck--Frosties are LIQUID CHOCOLATE" (Yeah, yeah, I realize there are vanilla Frosties, but those are bastard Frosties and nobody likes 'em. It was assumed--and rightfully so--that I wanted the original variety) But I reason that, at this juncture, I've passed the point of no return . I mean, this is a gift Frosty, I would be an ingrate if I didn't consume it. Well...ultimately, I didn't consume it... but that was by accident really. I always have the Frosty as dessert--never as the meal-accompanying beverage (that's just WEIRD) So, I had good ol' H2O with my lunch and stuck the Frosty in the freezer for later. But my afternoon got wicked busy and I forgot all about it. That is, until I was in traffic on my way home. I called the office and got Melissa, who was working late and I told her to please enjoy my Frosty. So then I was sorta relieved,thinkin' "Ahh, dodged that bullet. Now I won't have that on my conscience, wreckin' my weekend" And then a mere 5 minutes later I sabotaged myself again. Cheese, this time. I'm in Walgreens and I want a salty type snack to go with my first soda of the weekend. I'm staring at rows and rows of chips and I say "Uh-uh..NO CHIPS" So I go for popcorn. But I want a Smartfood kinda popcorn. Ok, yeah, DURRR, it seems I also wasn't taking into consideration powdered cheese when I swore off the stuff. And I'm so preoccupied with how I avoided chips that that sneakyass cheese dust flew right under the radar. To my credit, I stopped chowing on 'em as soon as I caught myself.

But then...once I got to my parents' house I transgressed AGAIN. But worse, because this time I didn't slip up...I calculatedly & deliberately caved to temptation. They'd ordered PIZZA. Pizza is so phenomenally rad to begin with, but on a Friday?? There's some sort of incomprehensible magic that renders pizza even more delicious on Fridays. I don't know how it works--hence my use of the word "incomprehensible"--but I am certain of its existance.

So after 2 pieces of cheese 'za I was seized with this "F*ck it-- go big or go home" impulse and I polished off a piece of fudge. Ohhh, am I weak willed. But back on track tomorrow, folks!! I may falter, but I shan't give up!!


Oh, by the way, the Wendy's fish sammie is EXCELLENT. The commercial sez you take one bite and you can just *tell* it's from the North Pacific waters...ehh..I guess my palette isn't so geographically astute. I just thought it was waay better than a Fish Filet from McDonalds. Oh, and on this topic , if you take to heart only *one* piece of my oft-proffered advice in all your life, let it be this: NEVER ORDER THE FISHAMAJIG AT FRIENDLY'S!!
Them's nasty.

Another product I tested today: The Smooth Away Hair Removal System. The official Smooth Away site (Oh, and I'd advise muting your computer before hitting that site) proclaims it's "Not Available in Stores". Wazzaaaap, you lying bastards? I procured mine at my local Walgreens!! Walgreen's is the shit for tracking down your favorite As-Seen-on-TV merch, although it did let me down one time (on my Shawow! hunt) but usually they carry it all--those yucky-ass Kinoki foot patches, all the Billy Mays crap, etc.

Smooth Away is the cat's jammies, man. I did my toes, and my legs, and my upper lip. It worked like a charm (pardon the cliche)!! Although the directions explicitly state "Best used on hair that is less than 1/4" long" it still got my legs silky smoothy. Ok, I certainly didn't get a ruler up against my leg hair but... sorry to be grody... I've not picked up a razor since fall, so just one glance at my Sasquatch-lookin' legs and I can safely assume..well...anyways... good product. Although, I think I'll withhold my full & final verdict until I see how long the hairlessness lasts...

So after Ash Wednesday mass and an hour of babysitting my niecies, I vegged out in front of the telly (nothing too unusual there, I know)

I watched about ½ of VH1’s “Black to the Future” 80s edition. I must say, I was peeved that everyone (unanimously) was so disparaging of Eddie Murphy’s “Party all the Time”. Maybe that overall album is a joke (I haven’t heard the whole thing) but that single rules!! I love that song, dude!! ‘Salright... I’m used to the universe disagreeing with me in matters of taste. I’m also very fond of “I’m too Sexy” by Right Said Fred.
This inspires an impromptu poll—
(Fill in the blank) If loving _______________ is wrong, then I don’t wanna be right!

Honest answers please, this is not a Mad Libs.

Speaking of guilty pleasures, I also tuned in to the 2nd eppy of High School Reunion. I hope this show flourishes and becomes like a giant in the field of reality TV , so that it's renewed for another season, more seasons, umpteen seasons, ad infinitum (a la Survivor) so that in 2015 my class just might be able have a televised 20th reunion in Hawaii. I wonder what they would call me in the opening credits?? Hmmm..“The Smartass” maybe… I did get “wittiest” in the senior year yearbook superlatives …but of course, by “wittiest” they meant smartassiest. I would hafta drop some lbs, I’m sure—it seems a prerequisite for ladies on that show to be game for beau coup cavorting in bikinis. Of course, the men alums can be fat as rhinos.

Anyways, big drama arrived at the compound with the arrival of Dennis (the menace—ha ha). Manny came with him, but he proved to be harmlessly mischevious and not a drunken terror like his cohort. Dennis, I regret to say, was pretty hot in high school. ‘Tis more the shame that he grew up into a total d-bag. Although, the rest of the alumni handled him all wrong. When faced with a drunken ass 9 times outta 10 your best course of action is--- DO NOT ENGAGE. Oh, and there was another arrival, Lynette. She was fairly unexceptional, and therefore totally overshadowed by fellow new arrivals Dennis & Manny. So I will say this for her (some small recompense): she has rather nice hair.


I'm still undecided about Jessica. Well, I'm totally certain that she is a vapid airhead. But I've yet to ascertain if she is good or evil. She was pretty noble in her conversation with Kara, and then looked as if she was going to take the noble route vis a vis Scott & Marciela, but then near the end of the episode she was all "she (Marciela) is going to have some fierce competition!!" RRrrar. Oh also-- she's on crush #2 in as many days. That's annoying.

About Scott & Marciela-- I woulda judged that match-up a failure... if it weren't for them always talking about how terrificly they're "clicking", and how nice it is that they're making such a swell connection, and what awesome vibes they're feeling. I dunno, maybe I'm a romantic, but I'm suspicious that there's actual awesome chemistry betwixt a duo that natters on constantly about their awesome chemistry. But maybe... I dunno. I do like Scott W though. Although I gotta say...there are too many frickin' SCOTTS in this group. They need to start utilizing nicknames.

I was predisposed to like Liz. I was thinking she was like this season's Cheryl. Cheryl was my absolute fave from season 1-- even though she was kind of on the periphery and didn't get embroiled in any big DRAMA. Probably that's why I liked her. I still like Liz, I suppose, but she's beginning to grate on my nerves with her all consuming Jenny-hatin'. Jenny totally seems like she deserves it, and I'm sure she inspires it, but is she worth it? I don't think so . It makes Liz into a rather pathetic character, either eye-rolling or sulking all the time. I would like her to either :a)confront Jenny and purge all that resentment out of her system OR b) cowboy the f*** up.

I wonder what this huge shocker secret is that they keep hyping. I believe they actually used the phrase "HUGE MIND-BLOWING SECRET" verbatim. It never winds up being all that shocking when it's made into such a big fat deal in the promos. When you hear "huge mind-blowing secret" at the outset, you dream up the biggest and most sensational secrets possible--
Tyrone was abducted by aliens about 7 years ago and the "Tyrone" attending this 20 yr reunion is an E.T.-crafted Tyrone clone.
ORRrrr...
Liz shot Biggie Smalls!!

And so, with such hypotheses pinging about your noggin, the actual secret is bound to disappoint. The previews for next week's show mention that "Scott W.’s hall pass choice shocks the class!!" Maybe Scott W. is gay. Wouldn't that piss off half the reunion crew??

So, I’m rather miffed that I missed the start of the Oscars last night. I got caught up watching the Confessions of a Teen Idol finale on VH1 and I forgot to switch channels in time. I don’t think I missed *too* much (tuned in just as the Best Supporting Actress award was being presented) but y’all KNOW how fanatical I am about catching stuff from the very beginning. (or you should know, anyhow.. feeling compelled to channel the Simply Red dude here: if yooou don’t know me baaah nowwww…you will never, never, never know me.Ooooo…) Also I was curious to see what kind of hosting job Hugh would do, and probably his opening was the best opportunity to gauge that. I watched the bulke of the ceremony & barely saw him at all, really. There was that song & dance # with Beyonce and assorted others but that I found kind of…mehh..underwhelming. Or, perhaps you had to take in the audio *and* the visual in order to properly appreciate …and if so, my assessment is not to be trusted as at this point I was playing Tetris on my iPod and gave like maybe 0.5 of an upward glance. So sorry. And that usually IS my sort of thing, too!! REALLY..you should see the fatty “musicals” section of my DVD library.

Well, I made the mistake of reading Kara’s blog earlier today, thus leaving me with the sensation that the thorough recap has been done (and done better) So I shall not endeavor to be thorough. Instead I shall list some various Oscar observations I had (w/ bulletpoints, which tend to influence me to be—not succinct exactly—just more succinct than I am naturally apt to be)

*Gorgeous set design.

*I like this new method of presenting the big acting awards (group presentation by a team of past winners).

*Love Natalie Portman’s pink dress SO much and she looked so terrific that my eye was actually drawn to her first and it took me a moment or 2 to notice that Ben Stiller was spoofing Joaquin Phoenix. I thought that was funny…but also a bit sad. I believe Joaquin was a 2time Oscar nominee (Gladiator & Walk the Line) and in addition, he was always a fairly attractive guy in a notraditional sorta way. Now he’s traditionally skeezy looking and displaying blatant WTF?? behavior and the perplexing thing is, I can’t seem to chalk this up to being drug related (which would still rather sad, but it would kinda make sense of it all) Well Ben Stiller’s parody did make me guffaw. But the real Joaquin?? A mélange of weird and SAD.


*I’m going to have to see Slumdog Millionaire I guess. It must be pretty phenomenal. Did it lose any category it was nominated in?? Still I was a slightly better informed viewer than I have been in recent years. During the last coupla Oscar ceremonies I’ve tuned into I recall marveling to myself—“Gosh, I haven’t seen ANY of these movies” This year, it was only “Geez, I’ve only seen 2 of these movies” (that would be Tropic Thunder & The Changeling)


*Kate Winslet’s dad is an EXCELLENT whistler

*Funniest non-famous person acceptance speech was the Asian guy who accepted for Best Animated Short. “Domo Aragato, Mr Roboto” ? Really? Sure, I laughed, but shouldn’t HE have been sort of insulted by his own joke??

*The beginning of Sean Penn’s speech was promising..amusing (before he got preachy, that is. UGH)…but I very early on got the sensation that he was going to leave his wife out. And despite my telepathically beaming him a mantra of “Thankyourwife thankyourwife DON’T FORGETto thank yourwife…” he did, ultimately, forget his wife. That cad. It’s no wonder their on, off, on-again marriage is so shaky… Hmm..I recall the last person to infamously omit a spousal thank-you in their Oscar speech was Hillary “horseteeth” Swank and we saw how that played out, eh??

*Is Seymour Phillip Hoffman (as Alan Arkin calls him) in a high school garage band or something?? That’s what he looked like with that redonkulous knit cap on. Don’t get me wrong—fanatical devotion to your garage band would not excuse such a heinous fashion offense. The only marginally acceptable excuse is if he had some sort of head wound he needed to keep protected/ sheltered.

*No jokes at Christian Bale’s expense? Maybe they did one in the monologue and I missed it. I mean, aren’t those de rigueur nowadays? I admit, I kinda enjoy all the Bale mockery, ‘cause I’m somewhat peeved at him. I’ve always been a big fan, so I feel as if he’s let me down personally, by being such a psycho ASS. I guess a Bale joke would’ve been too edgy for the Oscars?? Also, it occurs to me that Bale and our host are personally acquainted (they did The Prestige together) and maybe Jackman vetoed such content (on account of being friends with Bale….or being SCARED o’ him!!)

this TV memory popped into my mind today..

I'm not fully informed about the entire Sam Waterston oeuvre, but I feel pretty confident that this is the greatest thing he's ever done---



And howsa 'bout another video ('cause I'm in the mood to post but have nothing to say) Here's something else I rather dig--




Makes me SO PROUD to be 50% French (Canadian)

Question: Is "Would that it were so" a viable sentence? It sort of meshed rhetorically, and it sounded right, but I'm having second thoughts now...

So totally new topic... I usually listen to my iPod at lunch. I'm not fully antisocial, but I find the bulk of lunchtime discourse to be petty and bothersome and I use my iPod as a means of deterring that. But today my iPod battery was dead, so I had to do lunch unarmed. Luckily, Barb (the only other person having lunch at the same time) seemed really into her book and didn't seem inclined to talk. But Holy Fucking GRRRrr does she chew LOUD!! Not only loud, but constantly. That's how you take 45 friggin' minutes to motor through a bagel-- you do 900 mandible reps per bite!! It was driving me bonkers!

I don't recall being hyper-irritable at any other point during the day. So, in that case, it was NOT a "just me" deal. She must have factually and empirically been doing a ridiculous job of eating her bagel.

Cheese= magic

When I flipped on the telly last night, I caught (on the Travel Channel, I believe it was) the tail end of a program about cheese. I was very disappointed with my inability to catch the program in its entirety as I am a big fan of the subject matter. One interesting thing I did learn was that scientists (FOOD SCIENTISTS) are working on ways to make cheese healthier (oh frabjous day!!). For instance, by altering the dairy cows' diet, they may be able to increase the levels of the "good fat" in the already fatty fatty fat cheese. Also, they are going to pimp out the cheese with that macrobiotic goodness that they enhance lotsa the yogurt with nowadays. Is "macrobiotic" the term I'm diggin' for here?? Hmmm...not sure. You get the gist anyhow.
They closed the program with several cheese experts discussing their feelings about cheese. One of these guys said "Cheese is MAGIC"--well, actually I'm condensing & paraphrasing his comments quite a bit....but that was essentially his viewpoint on the topic. . .and I SO agree with him!

I continued on with more food themed programming and tuned into this Food Network challenge where these cake artisans competed to bake the b-day cake for Miley Cyrus's Sweet 16 bash. OOOooh, mucho prestigio, no?? Not sure that artisans is precisely what they are-- perhaps artistes would be more accurate?? Well, whatever the preferred nomenclature, they are pros at making very HUGE , very ornate cakes. Fondant virtuosos. (I've never had fondant. Et vous?? I hear it's yucky...)
I've watched Food Network's cake challenges a few times before, and I'm always vexed by this one segment of the show, after the clock runs out and the cakes are complete, where they make this big deal ceremony out of transporting the finished product from the kitchens to the display table. Aside from being somewhat excruciating to watch, it irks me with its air of contrived suspense. I always think about how much niftier it would be to assemble the cake on a work table with locking casters-- locked during assembly, then unlock and wheel the cake forth for judging. Ahh well. I suppose it's important for these folks to show that they can craft relatively semi-portable creations. Still..it irks me nonetheless.

Oh, by the way, my fave cake won the challenge. There was this other team that had a promising cake--their biggest tier was covered with this terribly impressive hand-piped scrollwork. But then they unveiled their pièce de résistance and it was really atrocious. It was this sculpture-cum-cakestand that was supposed to look like the birthday girl but it was such a monstrosity it singlehandedly ruined their shot.

Later I tuned into TV Land's High School Reunion. I've been besieged by promos for it, which I succumbed to because I genuinely enjoyed the last season of HSR that TV Land put out. Seems like that was a while ago.. Did y'all watch that "cycle"?? It had the easygoing bi chick and Matt, the weepy jock-widower?? Well, I didn't think the current season's crop of alums looked quite as promising as the last but I am withholding my final verdict right now (I endeavor to be just). Overall, it was an enjoyable enough way to pass an hour. Some bulletpointed observations--

• The dude who was omni-present in all the promos --"The Player"? He has yet to make an appearance.
• They have a more racially diverse alumni class than last season
• During the opening credits, they show all the yearbook picks and rattle off the corresponding h.s. stereotype for each alum. So they've got "The Cheerleader", "The Cowboy", "The All-Star" etc. Well, I did a double take when they snuck in "THE PREGNANT GIRL". Really? Wow, edgy. The more I think about it, the more I take offense on Shalonda's behalf (Shalonda--that's "the pregnant girl" or, uhh, ex-pregnant girl, I guess)
• They are continuing a tradition of having 1 divorced couple amongst the crew of alums. This must be HSR's go-to recipe for draaaaa-maa! Although this round's divorcees--Tom&Kara--seem sane and rather likable, so I suspect their drama will not be half so dramatic as last season's Mike & Lana. Oooh...that Lana. She was a rabid mega-bitch, fer sure. Toootally!
• The most errr.. noticeable alum so far is Jessica. She is the proverbial ugly-duckling-turned-swan, except in her case it's an ugly-duckling-turned-bunny (Playboy bunny, that is). Y'know, I don't have a problem with her being a playmate, nor do I care much that her wardrobe takes "micro-mini" to a whole 'nuthah level. But what is grating is that..by all outer indications...she is chronically vapid. Just as vapid as her big fake hooters and puffy futon mattress lips would have you believe she might be. I thought being an ugly duckling was supposed to build character??

Oh, I almost forgot last night's most remarkable TV discovery-- Phil's Music Extravaganza. There's this dude on CATV 8 public access that usually does a show from his workshop. He goes through his collection of wooden creations he's made (mostly whirligig lawn decor) and does a little exposition on their features & what not. The guy (Phil) does nice work, but he's not exceedingly eloquent and has this WICKED Yankee accent. It makes for some kinda funny TV (I'd bet if I got stoned I would find it just inexpressibly amusing) and usually when I flip onto it by chance (since, offhand, I have no idea when his show airs) it usually captures my attention for about 5minutes. Well that's all I thought ol' Phil had to offer. . .until last night. Last night, I'm flipping around after HSR and I see Phil in a totally different setting than the workshop. And then I note that he's attired in a radically different fashion than I usually see(in his workshop he usually dons a flannel shirt...on this "music extravaganza" he's got on a Hawaiian shirt & straw fedora. Woooot woo!) He turns on a nearby boombox and commences to PLAY TAMBOURINE ALONG WITH HIS FAVORITE CDs. Add to that a little dancing. Throw in some really bad harmonica playing.... It was awesome. That will have to suffice, but really words cannot encapsulate the spectacle. That's why I'm so pissed with catv 8. Their website has 216 videos of their various shows and it seems like 214 of those offerings are vids of televised Town Meetings. Town meeting, schmown schmeeting!! If I wanted to get bored to tears by a flippin' town meeting then I'd go to one!! When I saw that catv was technologically sophisticated enough to have video clips online--you can get their podcast thru itunes, for fuck's sake!-- then I thought (fleetingly) that I had a good chance of sharing with yous the wonder that is Phil's Music Extravaganza ( I am an embedding fiend, y'know) But no dice, dammit. Let's pretend people read my blog, and I will make-believe entreat of all my legions of devotees to besiege catv with emails demanding that video footage of Phil's Music Extravaganza be posted online. Ahhh, would that it were so...

a new low in triviality

Today Eileen was singing the praises of the "ideal clamp" and how indispensible they are and how very dearly she loves 'em and I was heartily in disagreement with her vis a vis their worth. First off, let's have a look at this so-called "ideal clamp"-

I call them "ideal clamps" only because that's what Office Max has dubbed them online and on their packaging. Really, I take issue with the name. I actually think they're far from "ideal" but that aspect of the issue is subjective. Why wouldn't they be called "clips", though? Empirically, they are clearly more clip than clamp. You see what I mean??

I really don't see how the ideal clamp is an improvement over the tried& true original --the traditional paper clip.

I feel (quite strongly) that the BINDER CLIP is paper fastening technology par excellence. In the interests of succinctness, I proffer an analogy to prove my point...

The binder clip is to paper fastening doohickies as Glad Press 'n' Seal Wrap is to food-preserving plastic wrap.

In other news of nanomicroscopic pettiness, I was researching business card paper online. There was this Geographics brand business card cardstock that Office Max sells that's about $4 cheaper than the Avery 5371 that we've been buying. But , OF COURSE, there's no way to tell on the lame-o Office Max website whether or not this cardstock is a working substitute for the Avery 5371. It appears to be but...dammit, all they have to put on there is "Equivalent to Avery 5371" and I would be certain. But NO, I have to do extra research and go to that paper company's website and then when I get there I am distracted from my mission entirely. Emblazoned across this company's homepage is a banner ad for St Patty's Day stationary. This ad proclaims, "Your in luck!!" Now if y'all know me, you know this rather pissed me off. If I worked for that paper company, I would be EMBARRASSED. So I click the "Contact Us" link and politely (albeit a bit haughtily) informed them of the faux pas. I got this almost immediately--

Dear Sandra,
Thank you for alerting us. I have notified the programmer, who won't be in until tomorrow morning.
Sincerely,
Jim Jimmypants (*not his real name)

And then I get an email that's all "Ticket # somethinerother has been generated to correct your issue" and "please follow up with reference # somethinerother" all very involved and technical and really I was only a smidge irked and I don't truly, deeply give a rat's arse about it.

Also, I completely forgot to get the specs on the business card cardstock... Phooey.

I have a very interesting color palette of grey & yellow going on today. Specifically: a semi-sheer yellow shirt under a heather grey sweatshirt-cardigan with darker grey jeans, grey & yellow Sketcher sneaks (quick aside: I really detest the colloquialism of “tennis shoes”. Unless the footwear is expressly designed for the game of tennis…call the bastards “SNEAKERS” please & thanx!!) silver hair clippie , my silver watch and a black,blue& yellow friendship bracelet of my own crafting. (went minimal in the accessories dept…possibly a reaction from last week’s overaccessorized wardrobe. I wore a scarf everyday last week. The first scarf recurrence was coincidental and then I decided to continue it as like a sartorial theme for the week) I’ve been told I’ve a tendency to be too “matchy-matchy” in my outfits and I suppose today is a prime example of that tendency. I’m sorry! Matchy-matchy makes me happy & I rather enjoy a good motif.

HOWEVER--I almost had to go home today on account of a dreaded “ wardrobe malfunction”. As I was unpacking a crate of medium gloves in the storeroom, I hear a pinggk! noise. This is the sound of the button flying off the top of my jeans. Now these pants would, I’d wager, stay on sans button. But the zipper dropped down to midway and you could see open flaps of the top of my jeans protruding under my shirt. MOST displeasing.

Well, thank Heaven for “needless” Christmas gifts. Last Christmas one of my coworkers (I regret to say, I can’t even remember which one) gave out wee stockings with dollar store trinkets in ‘em—icky fimo clay ornaments, mini candy canes…also a small sewing kit. Now, the sewing kit I kind of liked (as it was a little houndstooth check case, and I happen to have this strange affinity for houndstooth check) but didn’t see that I’d have much use for it, so I just chucked it in the tchotchkes drawer of my desk and the kit was amongst the desk accoutrement that somehow migrated from my prior gig to this current one. So after spending a panicky ½ minute staring at the rivet in my hand, I remembered that houndstooth check sewing kit. I smuggled it to the bathroom in my cardigan pocket and my first idea was to snip a button off my cardigan to sew on to my pants (as the buttons included in the kit were too small to fit properly in this button hole) but I was reluctant to execute this plan as it involved partial dismantling of a cardigan I just bought yesterday. I then noticed that this handiest of handy kits had a smattering of safety pins in it. One of these is now SAFEguarding my pants, and keeping safe my precious scrap of dignity, also keeping innocent bystanders safe from an alarming exhibition. Safety pin , indeed. Never has so banal a term been imbued with such prolific meaning!!

Enough about my pantstastic calamities. Another dismal thing that happened today—the correction of last week’s payroll snafu. Now, for very good reasons I don’t work in the accounting/ finance depts.** (one of those very good reasons being I can’t quite ascertain the difference between finance and accounting…also I’m always getting “accounts receivable” & “accounts payable” confused) but I woulda thought they had some clever accounting trick for correcting overcompensations. The clever trick is. . .having me write them a check for the amount I was overpaid. Veddy, veddy shoddy of thems, I must say. I mean, first they are toying with my emotions by putting that fat amount on my paystub, and then letting me know in no uncertain terms that NO I cannot have all that moolah. But then, I have to pay them the money…that’s just cruel. It was a really difficult to write that check—it physically pained me (practically).

So on Heroes. . . is it really *so* verboten for the writers to duplicate powers?? Because it seems with this comic book store dude they are REALLY scraping the bottom of the paranormal abilities barrel (imagining, for the moment, that such things are kept in barrels) What they shoulda done is reuse those super-learnin’ powers they gave to that chick in LA (that annoying little Micah kid’s cousin, introduced for a season and then receded into oblivion) What, instead, do we have? Some schmendrick that can hold his breath underwater for prolonged periods of time. WOW-WHEE KAZOWIE! That’s like being a lame half-ass Aquaman, ( I do believe Aquaman can commandeer armies of manatees and battalions of seahorses & the like and this new “hero” can do neither.) I’m not even sure how this dude can apply his underwhelming scuba powers— he was on the swim team he mentioned, so perhaps he can swim long distances? That’s really terrific at a swim meet, but on epic save-the-world type missions, it’s a bit useless. I suppose the character’s purpose is to underscore the senselessness of Senator P’s project. Y’know how Easter Island is preaching what a horrific threat to national security these people are , meanwhile they’ve deployed their best men in the pointless mission of apprehending this harmless cut-rate Aquaman. If that’s the point, I get it. Point made & duly noted…I only hope this was this loser’s sole appearance on the show (if not, a powers makeover ASAP please!)

I am kind of amused with Sylar becoming some sort of big brother character. Am starting to wonder if that kid is even more warped than S.

I am no longer ambivalent about HRG. I am back to loving him again!! It was so sad when his dippy wife kicked him to the curb. It sure tugged at me ol’ heartstrings when he got weepy and all “I love you Clairbear”. Then his stupid unworthy daughter didn’t even say “I love you” back. That’s just good manners! Okay, okay-- so she did hug him. And though I don’t fault her for blowing the whistle to her mom, she been vexing me in like a zillion other ways for the past 2 seasons. I get that they’re trying to develop the character, y’know, grow her from an innocent & oblivious cheerleader to a woman-to-be-reckoned with. They’re trying to show her sprouting a backbone. But she’s been so dumb and petulant about it—grrr.

But back to the characters I don’t loathe… I’ve always felt kind of “mehh” about Hiro and for that reason I didn’t follow his storylines too intently (also that whole 17th century plot was a YAAWWNER) but now I am watching, because I find I am becoming more & more of an Ando fan. I thought he might get some curry booty this past episode. Ah well.. I sorta wish they’d given Ando a better power . How about invisibility? They haven’t used that too much. I honestly can’t think of a power that they’ve not used at all. Must be the writers are similarly stumped, hence the new characters with SCUBA powers. Would be entertaining though to give Ando the popular ol’ standby of super-strength and watch him kick some arse.

I think if I were to have powers I’d go with superstrength or invincibility (a la Claire) or maybe I’d take creepy puppetmaster powers like that icky Paul Giamatti-esque baddie who was in love with Claire’s mother. (And yes I’d do the “Whyyahittin’yerself? Whyyahittin’yerself?” routine at least once or twice) I think Parkman has—hands down—the coolest powers, but I wouldn’t take those just because the whole telepathy part of the package would prove burdensome, methinks.

**I would seriously would consider a career in accountancy if it were actually was the clerical swashbucklery depicted in Monty Python's Meaning of Life. But alas...

coffee table book du jour

The coffee table book I've had my schnozz in nowadays is The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Castles, Palaces, & Stately Houses of Britain & Ireland. Gorgeous, gorrrrrgeous stuff. Now, unquestionably I belong in a palace, but I could certainly content myself residing in one of these "stately homes". I mean, it's just incredible what the 19th ce. Brit aristocracy used to call a "cottage".

I was digging for more info on these places, and I came across this cool site. A lot of these manor homes have their own websites, and further, a lot of these places publicizing themselves here on the internets are pushing themselves as wedding venues. How fucking awesome would it be to be married at one of these places??

For instance...Chatsworth looks like an effing AMAZING venue. Also at Syon Park (just outside of London) you could utilize this fab pavillion--

Which really, is cooler looking from the inside--

and done up for a wedding reception--

Just lovely (though I'm not sure I'd do it up quite so pinkly)

I wonder if booking a manor for one's wedding is just for the disgustingly wealthy Brits OR if they're so mad overstocked with titled gentry over 'cross the pond that a booking a manor for your wedding is roughly equivalent to our booking the American Legion . Would that not be a dreamy setting for a wedding?? I know, with my impeccable taste I could stage just a magnificent fete... the only tricky bit is finding a groom that's up to snuff. Ohhh, BOTHER. . .

other incompetencies

In addition to being a mediocre gas pumper, I must confess I am utterly inept with a squeegee. On my last trip to Cumby's (this afternoon..3ish) I noticed that my windshield was thoroughly covered with a coating of sand and/or road dust and I went at it with a squeegee. The windshield is considerably less grimy now, but it's a streaky mess.

So much for my dreams of starting my own roadside biz...

I have been remiss...

...if I have not yet disclosed to you all that I thoroughly and intensely LOATHE the Free Credit Report Troubadour of those insipid FreeCreditReport.com commercials. UGGH. That dude is the worst.

dilemma resolved

Yeah, so I didn't wrestle with the moral dilemma of extra cake in my paycheck for all that long after all. Turns out I was not the only employee who was excessively compensated, and so the payroll snafu was discovered within a coupla hours. Shit.

dilemma

Just got my pay stub and I was overpayed by about $600. I am seriously considering telling someone about it. I am also seriously considering keeping mum about the snafu.

Really, the only reason I'm inclined to report it is because I suspect it would be eventually caught and the $$ would be yanked away from me anyways..

What I listened to on my ride home tonight...

I remember watching this vid back in high school and genuinely thinking that that Glenn Danzig was pretty hubba-hubba. Now...I'm too refined to go for that maybe? I'm a bit appalled at my circa 1993 self. That's just...ugh..too sweaty. And wearing a mesh tank top--for the love o' Pete's Dragon!!
Still, I just love this song (best line: "FATHER-DO YOU WANNA BANG HEADS WITH ME??") When I sing along with this live version, there's the part towards the end during the raging guitar solo where he makes this loud but indistinguishable exclamation, and I always opt to sing "BOWW WOOOOW!" at that juncture.

I have to also include the original 1988 video for "Mother" . I'd not seen it before tonight. I was thinking it was going to be the most basic, absolute dullest music video ever until near the end when they started doing the kooky-ass black mass stuff. Haa. Even more laughable is how Glenn is trying his damnedest to look fierce (and I mean fierce in its original meaning, not the bastardized Christian Siriano buzz word sense of the word) and glowering and sneering (his glower is better than his sneer, I feel. For a good sneer, go to Billy Idol. He makes it effortless and sexy) amidst the artfully arranged shadows. And then he totally undermines the whole effect with this gnarly Farrah Fawcett blow-out hair. Crazy!!




Is that a flaming wad of gum he's brandishing at 02:09 ?? And heeey--one of those Satanic hos looks quite a bit like Cameron Diaz, no?

This would be fun on Guitar Hero. It's on one of the versions of the game, though not the one my nephew has. I haven't played in a while, and find myself kinda jonesin' to. I'm no pro...it's definitely one of those things that I am crap at but enjoy nonetheless. My favorite song to do (my signature, if you will) is ZZ Top's La Grange. That song is the cat's jammies. Very good to bop around to. Yep.. everybody I've played against remains seated (and strangely, the best players seem to be the most thoroughly chillaxed--sunken into the couch, virtually napping) but I insist on playing on my feet. Thus far, I've resisted the urged to smash the guitaroller (that's a compound word there...you likey?) on the furniture.

palabra jot!!

I used to watch PBS all day when I stayed home sick from school as a wee Sanny. I had this Claymation-ish grasshopper and a mantra of "Palabra jot!!" resounding in my head from those sick days of yore, but the memories were so hazy, plus *no one* knew what I was referring to when ranting about the grasshopper & his "Palabra Jot" chanting so I was starting to doubt myself...suspect that I'd had fever-induced hallucinations.

But thank God for YouTube...

Now I just need someone to download clips of "ReadIt with John Robbins" and I'll be all set. I just remember an opening sequence of animated froggies croaking "RRrread It!" and brief glimpses of John Robbins with his way dark moustache and he would draw charcoal etchings of a story while he read it. OK, so, it doesn't sound monstrously exciting, but it would give me the nostalgic warm fuzzies to see it again.

I also used to watch Slim Goodbody , but I'd just as soon forget that whackadoo.

In my rooting around I found Rick's TVO Kids Shows page ..which specifically looks at TV Ontario children's programming, but come to find out, US PBS& Canadian PBS shared a few kiddie shows. Some of those screen caps from All About You with Louise McNamara looked vaguely familiar...

Yeeaah, I would guess this particular episode stuck with me because the plastic mutilated torso character there freaked me right the hell out...

Feel like I should post simply 'cause I haven't in a while but I don't really have much of anything to report...Hmmmmm..lemme see...lemme see...

I missed big chunks of Heroes on Monday night and I'm kinda miffed about that. The Mentalist was especially good last night--Simon Baker had the charm especially amped up.

Mi amiga Heather treated me to dinner at Salt Hill last night and the "Dublin Fries" were excellent (no relation--thank goodness--to "calf fries") In other vittles news I made omelettes & french fries for dinner tonight. Everything was tasty but the omelettes gave me the most vile gas. Sorry..TMI, right??

Our receptionist royally pissed me off today because she asked for invisible tape and all we had was transparent tape and she had a little fit over it. I came out with the horribly substandard transparent tape and was all "I'm sorry this is the only kind we have" (accompanied by the most apologetic of apologetic shrugs). And she gets ALL FUCKING HUFFY and sez "What--I have to buy my own tape now too? This is garbage. I can't use it. I had this on a list of product NOT TO BUY because it doesn't work, it won't stick. I can't use that. It's garbage" I grabbed the tape and just pivoted and retreated without another fucking word because I felt, in that moment, if I lingered a nanosecond longer I was either (best case scenario) gonna call her a raving bitch or bludgeon her with her empty tape dispenser. Now usually, I am very quick to offer to make a special order when someone has a particular preference (about 50% of the time I'll get shot down, but I will try. Even if the purse strings are cinching up, *I* have remained accomodating) But she went from zero-to-megabitch so quickly I didn't even get the chance to offer. And I'm sure as hell not going to now. She can buy her own f-ing tape, that nasty old hag.

I dyed my hair tonight. I think it's darker than I've ever had it. Not sure if I like it yet. I'm leanin' toward "YES" but I'm not quite decided. When I picked it up at Walmart last night, I deliberated for some time between Herbal Essence's"Foxy Brown" (a medium brown shade) and Revlon Dark Brown (#30) but Laura finally talked me into the former. Jinkies--I dunno how dark my hair woulda been if I'd gone with the darker shade. As it is...well,you need light shining on it to see that it is still brown & not black. I guess I dig it. There's no white hairs anymore and it feels really soft. I wanted a real noticeable change but was sick of red/reddish tones...

In other cosmetological news...I picked up a makeup eraser pen the other day (like this but Maybelline brand) and it is proving to be the niftiest tool in all my massive warpaint arsenal. Me mucho gusto...

The other night I was flipping through the offerings on Comcast OnDemand and in particular exploring their MUSIC section. I happened to be in the mood for something that didn't demand much of an attention span, and so I spent an hour and a half watching music videos. So novel to watch videos, since you rarely ever come across them on the "music channels" any more (unless you're channel surfing at 3 or 4 in the a.m.) Quick aside-- have you ever watched that show "Parental Control" on MTV?? That show always feels very blatantly staged. I seriously hope I'm right about that, because otherwise the youth of America has an APPALLING & SHOCKING lack of respect for their elders. It's disgusting. And from what I've seen of the show (I tend to catch it somewhere in the middle and find myself strangely compelled to know the outcome) the subject keeps their original girlfriend/boyfriend like 9 times outta 10.

Anyways, enough about that horrid program. Let me know share with you the two highlights of my music vid binge...

HEARTLESS [KANYE WEST]




Question: REALLY?? Who knew Kanye was so into the Jetsons?? Or was this the denoument some behind-the-scenes rights wrangling.?? Like, maybe K really wanted to use Fat Albert & co., but the Coz was SO peeved that K already copied the Huxtable sweater look and so he wouldn't sign off on it. I wonder...
But anyways, I like this song. Even more than Love Lockdown. Now, the fact that he allowed an animated Kanye to stand in for the real deal in this video...mayhap that's showing an uncharacteristic smidge of humility on his part? Don't get me wrong--I adore Kanye--even at full-tilt,unabated levels of egomania.

This one from a few years ago--



How fucking brilliant are these guys?? I find the Bigfoot running montage sort of exciting. And is that stuffed shells or lasagna he's serving up?? Well, either way I'm impressed with his culinary prowess...obviously. And props to MCA for one of the bestest Halloween costumes ever. If y'all see me as a devil egg for Halloween '09, please do me a solid and pretend like I came up with the idea myself, okay??

tunes & yogurt

Is it just me or is choosing yogurt at the grocery store a faaaaar more epic task than it ever used to be? I know there were a bevy of grammatical flaws in that sentence, (pardon me) but surely you get the gist, yes? Are there really so many more yogurt options or is this me exhibiting signs of old fogeyism...in particular that way the fogeys have of hyper-romanticizing the past so much so that their rosy retroview obscures to them how things actually factually were. Y'know, the rampant "In My Day..." syndrome the old farts get. Except where most people will wind up kvetching something like: "In my day..we didn't have rapes on the subways and mass murderers" (thereby lamenting modern societal ills) I, with my continuing focus on the trivial am grieved at how complex PURCHASING YOGURT has become. Silliness.


Well, anyways, if you are a doddering fool like me and need advice in the scarily addlepating realm of yogurt selection, then let me share with you a recommendation. Against all aforementioned odds, I have found the yogurt of my dreams (and my yogurt uncertainty is a thing of the past) I very much enjoy Cabot's Low Fat Greek Style Yogurt. Actually, I did once try Cabot's regular Greek Style Yogurt , and I very, VERY much enjoyed that (it was sinfully delicious...and at 14g of fat a cup, I DO mean sinful!!) But the Low Fat kind is almost as terrif. Specifically, I like the Vanilla Bean flavor & the Pomegranate Blueberry.
OK, now for a total topical 180 ...without a net...without a segue...heeere goes..


I have just recently discovered Last fm. I find it very helpful in musical exploration...for instance, I am beginning to delve into some new genres a bit-- bluegrass , folk, blues... and so, knowing that I kinda dig Doc Watson, I can look him up, and not only can I find about a thousand **full length**tracks of his work, but his page offers up lyrics to some of his songs, also similar artists, similar tracks...it's great. Speaking o' Doc... I've found 2 more songs of his I've gotta get. Also was listening to Puccini.


In summation, I'm LOVING this site. I just might hafta add it to my links sidebar...