Question: Is "Would that it were so" a viable sentence? It sort of meshed rhetorically, and it sounded right, but I'm having second thoughts now...

So totally new topic... I usually listen to my iPod at lunch. I'm not fully antisocial, but I find the bulk of lunchtime discourse to be petty and bothersome and I use my iPod as a means of deterring that. But today my iPod battery was dead, so I had to do lunch unarmed. Luckily, Barb (the only other person having lunch at the same time) seemed really into her book and didn't seem inclined to talk. But Holy Fucking GRRRrr does she chew LOUD!! Not only loud, but constantly. That's how you take 45 friggin' minutes to motor through a bagel-- you do 900 mandible reps per bite!! It was driving me bonkers!

I don't recall being hyper-irritable at any other point during the day. So, in that case, it was NOT a "just me" deal. She must have factually and empirically been doing a ridiculous job of eating her bagel.

Cheese= magic

When I flipped on the telly last night, I caught (on the Travel Channel, I believe it was) the tail end of a program about cheese. I was very disappointed with my inability to catch the program in its entirety as I am a big fan of the subject matter. One interesting thing I did learn was that scientists (FOOD SCIENTISTS) are working on ways to make cheese healthier (oh frabjous day!!). For instance, by altering the dairy cows' diet, they may be able to increase the levels of the "good fat" in the already fatty fatty fat cheese. Also, they are going to pimp out the cheese with that macrobiotic goodness that they enhance lotsa the yogurt with nowadays. Is "macrobiotic" the term I'm diggin' for here?? Hmmm...not sure. You get the gist anyhow.
They closed the program with several cheese experts discussing their feelings about cheese. One of these guys said "Cheese is MAGIC"--well, actually I'm condensing & paraphrasing his comments quite a bit....but that was essentially his viewpoint on the topic. . .and I SO agree with him!

I continued on with more food themed programming and tuned into this Food Network challenge where these cake artisans competed to bake the b-day cake for Miley Cyrus's Sweet 16 bash. OOOooh, mucho prestigio, no?? Not sure that artisans is precisely what they are-- perhaps artistes would be more accurate?? Well, whatever the preferred nomenclature, they are pros at making very HUGE , very ornate cakes. Fondant virtuosos. (I've never had fondant. Et vous?? I hear it's yucky...)
I've watched Food Network's cake challenges a few times before, and I'm always vexed by this one segment of the show, after the clock runs out and the cakes are complete, where they make this big deal ceremony out of transporting the finished product from the kitchens to the display table. Aside from being somewhat excruciating to watch, it irks me with its air of contrived suspense. I always think about how much niftier it would be to assemble the cake on a work table with locking casters-- locked during assembly, then unlock and wheel the cake forth for judging. Ahh well. I suppose it's important for these folks to show that they can craft relatively semi-portable creations. Still..it irks me nonetheless.

Oh, by the way, my fave cake won the challenge. There was this other team that had a promising cake--their biggest tier was covered with this terribly impressive hand-piped scrollwork. But then they unveiled their pièce de résistance and it was really atrocious. It was this sculpture-cum-cakestand that was supposed to look like the birthday girl but it was such a monstrosity it singlehandedly ruined their shot.

Later I tuned into TV Land's High School Reunion. I've been besieged by promos for it, which I succumbed to because I genuinely enjoyed the last season of HSR that TV Land put out. Seems like that was a while ago.. Did y'all watch that "cycle"?? It had the easygoing bi chick and Matt, the weepy jock-widower?? Well, I didn't think the current season's crop of alums looked quite as promising as the last but I am withholding my final verdict right now (I endeavor to be just). Overall, it was an enjoyable enough way to pass an hour. Some bulletpointed observations--

• The dude who was omni-present in all the promos --"The Player"? He has yet to make an appearance.
• They have a more racially diverse alumni class than last season
• During the opening credits, they show all the yearbook picks and rattle off the corresponding h.s. stereotype for each alum. So they've got "The Cheerleader", "The Cowboy", "The All-Star" etc. Well, I did a double take when they snuck in "THE PREGNANT GIRL". Really? Wow, edgy. The more I think about it, the more I take offense on Shalonda's behalf (Shalonda--that's "the pregnant girl" or, uhh, ex-pregnant girl, I guess)
• They are continuing a tradition of having 1 divorced couple amongst the crew of alums. This must be HSR's go-to recipe for draaaaa-maa! Although this round's divorcees--Tom&Kara--seem sane and rather likable, so I suspect their drama will not be half so dramatic as last season's Mike & Lana. Oooh...that Lana. She was a rabid mega-bitch, fer sure. Toootally!
• The most errr.. noticeable alum so far is Jessica. She is the proverbial ugly-duckling-turned-swan, except in her case it's an ugly-duckling-turned-bunny (Playboy bunny, that is). Y'know, I don't have a problem with her being a playmate, nor do I care much that her wardrobe takes "micro-mini" to a whole 'nuthah level. But what is grating is that..by all outer indications...she is chronically vapid. Just as vapid as her big fake hooters and puffy futon mattress lips would have you believe she might be. I thought being an ugly duckling was supposed to build character??

Oh, I almost forgot last night's most remarkable TV discovery-- Phil's Music Extravaganza. There's this dude on CATV 8 public access that usually does a show from his workshop. He goes through his collection of wooden creations he's made (mostly whirligig lawn decor) and does a little exposition on their features & what not. The guy (Phil) does nice work, but he's not exceedingly eloquent and has this WICKED Yankee accent. It makes for some kinda funny TV (I'd bet if I got stoned I would find it just inexpressibly amusing) and usually when I flip onto it by chance (since, offhand, I have no idea when his show airs) it usually captures my attention for about 5minutes. Well that's all I thought ol' Phil had to offer. . .until last night. Last night, I'm flipping around after HSR and I see Phil in a totally different setting than the workshop. And then I note that he's attired in a radically different fashion than I usually see(in his workshop he usually dons a flannel shirt...on this "music extravaganza" he's got on a Hawaiian shirt & straw fedora. Woooot woo!) He turns on a nearby boombox and commences to PLAY TAMBOURINE ALONG WITH HIS FAVORITE CDs. Add to that a little dancing. Throw in some really bad harmonica playing.... It was awesome. That will have to suffice, but really words cannot encapsulate the spectacle. That's why I'm so pissed with catv 8. Their website has 216 videos of their various shows and it seems like 214 of those offerings are vids of televised Town Meetings. Town meeting, schmown schmeeting!! If I wanted to get bored to tears by a flippin' town meeting then I'd go to one!! When I saw that catv was technologically sophisticated enough to have video clips online--you can get their podcast thru itunes, for fuck's sake!-- then I thought (fleetingly) that I had a good chance of sharing with yous the wonder that is Phil's Music Extravaganza ( I am an embedding fiend, y'know) But no dice, dammit. Let's pretend people read my blog, and I will make-believe entreat of all my legions of devotees to besiege catv with emails demanding that video footage of Phil's Music Extravaganza be posted online. Ahhh, would that it were so...

a new low in triviality

Today Eileen was singing the praises of the "ideal clamp" and how indispensible they are and how very dearly she loves 'em and I was heartily in disagreement with her vis a vis their worth. First off, let's have a look at this so-called "ideal clamp"-

I call them "ideal clamps" only because that's what Office Max has dubbed them online and on their packaging. Really, I take issue with the name. I actually think they're far from "ideal" but that aspect of the issue is subjective. Why wouldn't they be called "clips", though? Empirically, they are clearly more clip than clamp. You see what I mean??

I really don't see how the ideal clamp is an improvement over the tried& true original --the traditional paper clip.

I feel (quite strongly) that the BINDER CLIP is paper fastening technology par excellence. In the interests of succinctness, I proffer an analogy to prove my point...

The binder clip is to paper fastening doohickies as Glad Press 'n' Seal Wrap is to food-preserving plastic wrap.

In other news of nanomicroscopic pettiness, I was researching business card paper online. There was this Geographics brand business card cardstock that Office Max sells that's about $4 cheaper than the Avery 5371 that we've been buying. But , OF COURSE, there's no way to tell on the lame-o Office Max website whether or not this cardstock is a working substitute for the Avery 5371. It appears to be but...dammit, all they have to put on there is "Equivalent to Avery 5371" and I would be certain. But NO, I have to do extra research and go to that paper company's website and then when I get there I am distracted from my mission entirely. Emblazoned across this company's homepage is a banner ad for St Patty's Day stationary. This ad proclaims, "Your in luck!!" Now if y'all know me, you know this rather pissed me off. If I worked for that paper company, I would be EMBARRASSED. So I click the "Contact Us" link and politely (albeit a bit haughtily) informed them of the faux pas. I got this almost immediately--

Dear Sandra,
Thank you for alerting us. I have notified the programmer, who won't be in until tomorrow morning.
Sincerely,
Jim Jimmypants (*not his real name)

And then I get an email that's all "Ticket # somethinerother has been generated to correct your issue" and "please follow up with reference # somethinerother" all very involved and technical and really I was only a smidge irked and I don't truly, deeply give a rat's arse about it.

Also, I completely forgot to get the specs on the business card cardstock... Phooey.

I have a very interesting color palette of grey & yellow going on today. Specifically: a semi-sheer yellow shirt under a heather grey sweatshirt-cardigan with darker grey jeans, grey & yellow Sketcher sneaks (quick aside: I really detest the colloquialism of “tennis shoes”. Unless the footwear is expressly designed for the game of tennis…call the bastards “SNEAKERS” please & thanx!!) silver hair clippie , my silver watch and a black,blue& yellow friendship bracelet of my own crafting. (went minimal in the accessories dept…possibly a reaction from last week’s overaccessorized wardrobe. I wore a scarf everyday last week. The first scarf recurrence was coincidental and then I decided to continue it as like a sartorial theme for the week) I’ve been told I’ve a tendency to be too “matchy-matchy” in my outfits and I suppose today is a prime example of that tendency. I’m sorry! Matchy-matchy makes me happy & I rather enjoy a good motif.

HOWEVER--I almost had to go home today on account of a dreaded “ wardrobe malfunction”. As I was unpacking a crate of medium gloves in the storeroom, I hear a pinggk! noise. This is the sound of the button flying off the top of my jeans. Now these pants would, I’d wager, stay on sans button. But the zipper dropped down to midway and you could see open flaps of the top of my jeans protruding under my shirt. MOST displeasing.

Well, thank Heaven for “needless” Christmas gifts. Last Christmas one of my coworkers (I regret to say, I can’t even remember which one) gave out wee stockings with dollar store trinkets in ‘em—icky fimo clay ornaments, mini candy canes…also a small sewing kit. Now, the sewing kit I kind of liked (as it was a little houndstooth check case, and I happen to have this strange affinity for houndstooth check) but didn’t see that I’d have much use for it, so I just chucked it in the tchotchkes drawer of my desk and the kit was amongst the desk accoutrement that somehow migrated from my prior gig to this current one. So after spending a panicky ½ minute staring at the rivet in my hand, I remembered that houndstooth check sewing kit. I smuggled it to the bathroom in my cardigan pocket and my first idea was to snip a button off my cardigan to sew on to my pants (as the buttons included in the kit were too small to fit properly in this button hole) but I was reluctant to execute this plan as it involved partial dismantling of a cardigan I just bought yesterday. I then noticed that this handiest of handy kits had a smattering of safety pins in it. One of these is now SAFEguarding my pants, and keeping safe my precious scrap of dignity, also keeping innocent bystanders safe from an alarming exhibition. Safety pin , indeed. Never has so banal a term been imbued with such prolific meaning!!

Enough about my pantstastic calamities. Another dismal thing that happened today—the correction of last week’s payroll snafu. Now, for very good reasons I don’t work in the accounting/ finance depts.** (one of those very good reasons being I can’t quite ascertain the difference between finance and accounting…also I’m always getting “accounts receivable” & “accounts payable” confused) but I woulda thought they had some clever accounting trick for correcting overcompensations. The clever trick is. . .having me write them a check for the amount I was overpaid. Veddy, veddy shoddy of thems, I must say. I mean, first they are toying with my emotions by putting that fat amount on my paystub, and then letting me know in no uncertain terms that NO I cannot have all that moolah. But then, I have to pay them the money…that’s just cruel. It was a really difficult to write that check—it physically pained me (practically).

So on Heroes. . . is it really *so* verboten for the writers to duplicate powers?? Because it seems with this comic book store dude they are REALLY scraping the bottom of the paranormal abilities barrel (imagining, for the moment, that such things are kept in barrels) What they shoulda done is reuse those super-learnin’ powers they gave to that chick in LA (that annoying little Micah kid’s cousin, introduced for a season and then receded into oblivion) What, instead, do we have? Some schmendrick that can hold his breath underwater for prolonged periods of time. WOW-WHEE KAZOWIE! That’s like being a lame half-ass Aquaman, ( I do believe Aquaman can commandeer armies of manatees and battalions of seahorses & the like and this new “hero” can do neither.) I’m not even sure how this dude can apply his underwhelming scuba powers— he was on the swim team he mentioned, so perhaps he can swim long distances? That’s really terrific at a swim meet, but on epic save-the-world type missions, it’s a bit useless. I suppose the character’s purpose is to underscore the senselessness of Senator P’s project. Y’know how Easter Island is preaching what a horrific threat to national security these people are , meanwhile they’ve deployed their best men in the pointless mission of apprehending this harmless cut-rate Aquaman. If that’s the point, I get it. Point made & duly noted…I only hope this was this loser’s sole appearance on the show (if not, a powers makeover ASAP please!)

I am kind of amused with Sylar becoming some sort of big brother character. Am starting to wonder if that kid is even more warped than S.

I am no longer ambivalent about HRG. I am back to loving him again!! It was so sad when his dippy wife kicked him to the curb. It sure tugged at me ol’ heartstrings when he got weepy and all “I love you Clairbear”. Then his stupid unworthy daughter didn’t even say “I love you” back. That’s just good manners! Okay, okay-- so she did hug him. And though I don’t fault her for blowing the whistle to her mom, she been vexing me in like a zillion other ways for the past 2 seasons. I get that they’re trying to develop the character, y’know, grow her from an innocent & oblivious cheerleader to a woman-to-be-reckoned with. They’re trying to show her sprouting a backbone. But she’s been so dumb and petulant about it—grrr.

But back to the characters I don’t loathe… I’ve always felt kind of “mehh” about Hiro and for that reason I didn’t follow his storylines too intently (also that whole 17th century plot was a YAAWWNER) but now I am watching, because I find I am becoming more & more of an Ando fan. I thought he might get some curry booty this past episode. Ah well.. I sorta wish they’d given Ando a better power . How about invisibility? They haven’t used that too much. I honestly can’t think of a power that they’ve not used at all. Must be the writers are similarly stumped, hence the new characters with SCUBA powers. Would be entertaining though to give Ando the popular ol’ standby of super-strength and watch him kick some arse.

I think if I were to have powers I’d go with superstrength or invincibility (a la Claire) or maybe I’d take creepy puppetmaster powers like that icky Paul Giamatti-esque baddie who was in love with Claire’s mother. (And yes I’d do the “Whyyahittin’yerself? Whyyahittin’yerself?” routine at least once or twice) I think Parkman has—hands down—the coolest powers, but I wouldn’t take those just because the whole telepathy part of the package would prove burdensome, methinks.

**I would seriously would consider a career in accountancy if it were actually was the clerical swashbucklery depicted in Monty Python's Meaning of Life. But alas...

coffee table book du jour

The coffee table book I've had my schnozz in nowadays is The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Castles, Palaces, & Stately Houses of Britain & Ireland. Gorgeous, gorrrrrgeous stuff. Now, unquestionably I belong in a palace, but I could certainly content myself residing in one of these "stately homes". I mean, it's just incredible what the 19th ce. Brit aristocracy used to call a "cottage".

I was digging for more info on these places, and I came across this cool site. A lot of these manor homes have their own websites, and further, a lot of these places publicizing themselves here on the internets are pushing themselves as wedding venues. How fucking awesome would it be to be married at one of these places??

For instance...Chatsworth looks like an effing AMAZING venue. Also at Syon Park (just outside of London) you could utilize this fab pavillion--

Which really, is cooler looking from the inside--

and done up for a wedding reception--

Just lovely (though I'm not sure I'd do it up quite so pinkly)

I wonder if booking a manor for one's wedding is just for the disgustingly wealthy Brits OR if they're so mad overstocked with titled gentry over 'cross the pond that a booking a manor for your wedding is roughly equivalent to our booking the American Legion . Would that not be a dreamy setting for a wedding?? I know, with my impeccable taste I could stage just a magnificent fete... the only tricky bit is finding a groom that's up to snuff. Ohhh, BOTHER. . .

other incompetencies

In addition to being a mediocre gas pumper, I must confess I am utterly inept with a squeegee. On my last trip to Cumby's (this afternoon..3ish) I noticed that my windshield was thoroughly covered with a coating of sand and/or road dust and I went at it with a squeegee. The windshield is considerably less grimy now, but it's a streaky mess.

So much for my dreams of starting my own roadside biz...

I have been remiss...

...if I have not yet disclosed to you all that I thoroughly and intensely LOATHE the Free Credit Report Troubadour of those insipid FreeCreditReport.com commercials. UGGH. That dude is the worst.

dilemma resolved

Yeah, so I didn't wrestle with the moral dilemma of extra cake in my paycheck for all that long after all. Turns out I was not the only employee who was excessively compensated, and so the payroll snafu was discovered within a coupla hours. Shit.

dilemma

Just got my pay stub and I was overpayed by about $600. I am seriously considering telling someone about it. I am also seriously considering keeping mum about the snafu.

Really, the only reason I'm inclined to report it is because I suspect it would be eventually caught and the $$ would be yanked away from me anyways..

What I listened to on my ride home tonight...

I remember watching this vid back in high school and genuinely thinking that that Glenn Danzig was pretty hubba-hubba. Now...I'm too refined to go for that maybe? I'm a bit appalled at my circa 1993 self. That's just...ugh..too sweaty. And wearing a mesh tank top--for the love o' Pete's Dragon!!
Still, I just love this song (best line: "FATHER-DO YOU WANNA BANG HEADS WITH ME??") When I sing along with this live version, there's the part towards the end during the raging guitar solo where he makes this loud but indistinguishable exclamation, and I always opt to sing "BOWW WOOOOW!" at that juncture.

I have to also include the original 1988 video for "Mother" . I'd not seen it before tonight. I was thinking it was going to be the most basic, absolute dullest music video ever until near the end when they started doing the kooky-ass black mass stuff. Haa. Even more laughable is how Glenn is trying his damnedest to look fierce (and I mean fierce in its original meaning, not the bastardized Christian Siriano buzz word sense of the word) and glowering and sneering (his glower is better than his sneer, I feel. For a good sneer, go to Billy Idol. He makes it effortless and sexy) amidst the artfully arranged shadows. And then he totally undermines the whole effect with this gnarly Farrah Fawcett blow-out hair. Crazy!!




Is that a flaming wad of gum he's brandishing at 02:09 ?? And heeey--one of those Satanic hos looks quite a bit like Cameron Diaz, no?

This would be fun on Guitar Hero. It's on one of the versions of the game, though not the one my nephew has. I haven't played in a while, and find myself kinda jonesin' to. I'm no pro...it's definitely one of those things that I am crap at but enjoy nonetheless. My favorite song to do (my signature, if you will) is ZZ Top's La Grange. That song is the cat's jammies. Very good to bop around to. Yep.. everybody I've played against remains seated (and strangely, the best players seem to be the most thoroughly chillaxed--sunken into the couch, virtually napping) but I insist on playing on my feet. Thus far, I've resisted the urged to smash the guitaroller (that's a compound word there...you likey?) on the furniture.

palabra jot!!

I used to watch PBS all day when I stayed home sick from school as a wee Sanny. I had this Claymation-ish grasshopper and a mantra of "Palabra jot!!" resounding in my head from those sick days of yore, but the memories were so hazy, plus *no one* knew what I was referring to when ranting about the grasshopper & his "Palabra Jot" chanting so I was starting to doubt myself...suspect that I'd had fever-induced hallucinations.

But thank God for YouTube...

Now I just need someone to download clips of "ReadIt with John Robbins" and I'll be all set. I just remember an opening sequence of animated froggies croaking "RRrread It!" and brief glimpses of John Robbins with his way dark moustache and he would draw charcoal etchings of a story while he read it. OK, so, it doesn't sound monstrously exciting, but it would give me the nostalgic warm fuzzies to see it again.

I also used to watch Slim Goodbody , but I'd just as soon forget that whackadoo.

In my rooting around I found Rick's TVO Kids Shows page ..which specifically looks at TV Ontario children's programming, but come to find out, US PBS& Canadian PBS shared a few kiddie shows. Some of those screen caps from All About You with Louise McNamara looked vaguely familiar...

Yeeaah, I would guess this particular episode stuck with me because the plastic mutilated torso character there freaked me right the hell out...

Feel like I should post simply 'cause I haven't in a while but I don't really have much of anything to report...Hmmmmm..lemme see...lemme see...

I missed big chunks of Heroes on Monday night and I'm kinda miffed about that. The Mentalist was especially good last night--Simon Baker had the charm especially amped up.

Mi amiga Heather treated me to dinner at Salt Hill last night and the "Dublin Fries" were excellent (no relation--thank goodness--to "calf fries") In other vittles news I made omelettes & french fries for dinner tonight. Everything was tasty but the omelettes gave me the most vile gas. Sorry..TMI, right??

Our receptionist royally pissed me off today because she asked for invisible tape and all we had was transparent tape and she had a little fit over it. I came out with the horribly substandard transparent tape and was all "I'm sorry this is the only kind we have" (accompanied by the most apologetic of apologetic shrugs). And she gets ALL FUCKING HUFFY and sez "What--I have to buy my own tape now too? This is garbage. I can't use it. I had this on a list of product NOT TO BUY because it doesn't work, it won't stick. I can't use that. It's garbage" I grabbed the tape and just pivoted and retreated without another fucking word because I felt, in that moment, if I lingered a nanosecond longer I was either (best case scenario) gonna call her a raving bitch or bludgeon her with her empty tape dispenser. Now usually, I am very quick to offer to make a special order when someone has a particular preference (about 50% of the time I'll get shot down, but I will try. Even if the purse strings are cinching up, *I* have remained accomodating) But she went from zero-to-megabitch so quickly I didn't even get the chance to offer. And I'm sure as hell not going to now. She can buy her own f-ing tape, that nasty old hag.

I dyed my hair tonight. I think it's darker than I've ever had it. Not sure if I like it yet. I'm leanin' toward "YES" but I'm not quite decided. When I picked it up at Walmart last night, I deliberated for some time between Herbal Essence's"Foxy Brown" (a medium brown shade) and Revlon Dark Brown (#30) but Laura finally talked me into the former. Jinkies--I dunno how dark my hair woulda been if I'd gone with the darker shade. As it is...well,you need light shining on it to see that it is still brown & not black. I guess I dig it. There's no white hairs anymore and it feels really soft. I wanted a real noticeable change but was sick of red/reddish tones...

In other cosmetological news...I picked up a makeup eraser pen the other day (like this but Maybelline brand) and it is proving to be the niftiest tool in all my massive warpaint arsenal. Me mucho gusto...

The other night I was flipping through the offerings on Comcast OnDemand and in particular exploring their MUSIC section. I happened to be in the mood for something that didn't demand much of an attention span, and so I spent an hour and a half watching music videos. So novel to watch videos, since you rarely ever come across them on the "music channels" any more (unless you're channel surfing at 3 or 4 in the a.m.) Quick aside-- have you ever watched that show "Parental Control" on MTV?? That show always feels very blatantly staged. I seriously hope I'm right about that, because otherwise the youth of America has an APPALLING & SHOCKING lack of respect for their elders. It's disgusting. And from what I've seen of the show (I tend to catch it somewhere in the middle and find myself strangely compelled to know the outcome) the subject keeps their original girlfriend/boyfriend like 9 times outta 10.

Anyways, enough about that horrid program. Let me know share with you the two highlights of my music vid binge...

HEARTLESS [KANYE WEST]




Question: REALLY?? Who knew Kanye was so into the Jetsons?? Or was this the denoument some behind-the-scenes rights wrangling.?? Like, maybe K really wanted to use Fat Albert & co., but the Coz was SO peeved that K already copied the Huxtable sweater look and so he wouldn't sign off on it. I wonder...
But anyways, I like this song. Even more than Love Lockdown. Now, the fact that he allowed an animated Kanye to stand in for the real deal in this video...mayhap that's showing an uncharacteristic smidge of humility on his part? Don't get me wrong--I adore Kanye--even at full-tilt,unabated levels of egomania.

This one from a few years ago--



How fucking brilliant are these guys?? I find the Bigfoot running montage sort of exciting. And is that stuffed shells or lasagna he's serving up?? Well, either way I'm impressed with his culinary prowess...obviously. And props to MCA for one of the bestest Halloween costumes ever. If y'all see me as a devil egg for Halloween '09, please do me a solid and pretend like I came up with the idea myself, okay??

tunes & yogurt

Is it just me or is choosing yogurt at the grocery store a faaaaar more epic task than it ever used to be? I know there were a bevy of grammatical flaws in that sentence, (pardon me) but surely you get the gist, yes? Are there really so many more yogurt options or is this me exhibiting signs of old fogeyism...in particular that way the fogeys have of hyper-romanticizing the past so much so that their rosy retroview obscures to them how things actually factually were. Y'know, the rampant "In My Day..." syndrome the old farts get. Except where most people will wind up kvetching something like: "In my day..we didn't have rapes on the subways and mass murderers" (thereby lamenting modern societal ills) I, with my continuing focus on the trivial am grieved at how complex PURCHASING YOGURT has become. Silliness.


Well, anyways, if you are a doddering fool like me and need advice in the scarily addlepating realm of yogurt selection, then let me share with you a recommendation. Against all aforementioned odds, I have found the yogurt of my dreams (and my yogurt uncertainty is a thing of the past) I very much enjoy Cabot's Low Fat Greek Style Yogurt. Actually, I did once try Cabot's regular Greek Style Yogurt , and I very, VERY much enjoyed that (it was sinfully delicious...and at 14g of fat a cup, I DO mean sinful!!) But the Low Fat kind is almost as terrif. Specifically, I like the Vanilla Bean flavor & the Pomegranate Blueberry.
OK, now for a total topical 180 ...without a net...without a segue...heeere goes..


I have just recently discovered Last fm. I find it very helpful in musical exploration...for instance, I am beginning to delve into some new genres a bit-- bluegrass , folk, blues... and so, knowing that I kinda dig Doc Watson, I can look him up, and not only can I find about a thousand **full length**tracks of his work, but his page offers up lyrics to some of his songs, also similar artists, similar tracks...it's great. Speaking o' Doc... I've found 2 more songs of his I've gotta get. Also was listening to Puccini.


In summation, I'm LOVING this site. I just might hafta add it to my links sidebar...

TV

I did watch the Superbowl on Sunday, although I can't claim to have given a rat's arse about the outcome. Well, normally I don't. Last year was an anomaly--I really,genuinely gave a shit. The Pats had had such an amazing, unbelievable season, I was really pulling for them to win it (don't fret--I have since gotten over the defeat). Anyways this year I returned to form-- only concerning myself with the Superbowl Party grub and the commercials. I missed the one that was the viewer fave-- the Doritos "crystal ball" ad (although I caught it on hulu tonight--cute) I did like the Denny's commercial with the mob guys getting smiley pancakes. Also dug the one for monster with the poor schmoe whose desk is right under a moose ass. The one that really spoke to me was --




It's funny...BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. SO TRUE. Ok, so I don't scream like that when I pull into my parking spot in the a.m....but I'm apt to anyday now. And actually on of 4 out of 5 weekday mornings the first word I utter when I awake is "Fuuuuuuuuuck!" That there, is a fact. But back to the commercial--my favorite part is the koala punching bit. They couldn't have chosen a better animal to deck. Koalas seem to have this cute and snuggly wuggly rep that couldn't be more misleading. They really are insufferable bastards. I don't know if you knew that about koalas, but that also is factual.

Speaking of cute and snuggly wuggly, I watched SNL tonight (had it DVRed) and was struck with a new appreciation for what a total cutie patootie that Jason Mraz is. I usually skip over the music segments on SNL, but I kinda dig that first song he did ("I'm Yours" I think is its title) and it was fun to watch him play it. If he is hetero (I can't quite tell with any certainty) then I bet he does pretty well with the ladies. Look at what big bidness John Mayer inexplicably did (before he settled down with Granny Anniston, that is) Jason Mraz definitely deserves as much--nay, I say MORE--Jason Mraz deserves more tail than John Mayer got.

As for the "comedy"...MMmmeh. Steve Martin was lame, the digital short (which usually delivers) was muy STUPIDO. I liked Weekend Update, the Bernie Madoff skit (which they managed to not draw out too long, as they are apt to) the MacGruber skit (and those usually suck) where all M will say is "Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi.." And I really dug Kenan Thompson doing "Issues". I think Thompson is hysterical --and underrated...which is probably a good thing..I think if SNL appreciated his skills, they'd overuse & overextend the hell outta him..y'know like they do Kristen Wiig.




TV this week was Old Home Days for 80s moppets..so far anyways. Last night on Medium I saw none other than Vinnie Delpino and tonight's eppy of The Mentalist featured Chip from Kate & Allie. Both were murderers, as it happens. I kinda saw that potential for grisly mischief in Chip way back years ago when he laid down on the kitchen table with ketchup splashed 'cross his chest & a butter knife in his armpit trying to fool Allie into thinking he was dead. Remembah that episode? I do...hazily.

Not all that much to say about last night's Heroes. First off, I AM so thrilled it's back. I know it is kinda pathetic, but it makes my Mondays incrementally more tolerable to know that a new Heroes is rolling around at 9pm. Just a mere 14 hours to tough it out...really, it changes my waking expletive on Mondays from a "Fuuuuuuck!" to a "Fuuck." I think what this season of Heroes needs is for Ando to get some lovin' (not from some Tokyo hooker either, but still it's good he was making an effort) and for HRG to stop being such an unconscionable BASTARD. Well, it looks like Nate-Easter-Island-head-Petrelli is public enemy numero uno now. I don't really mind that as I never liked him too much anyways. But I did like HRG, I guess I still do, tenuously. It's hard to root for him when he keeps going so morally AWOL. As always, I LOVE sweet Pete Petrelli!! And I still adore Sylar even if he has gone back to noggin carving. I dug that scene where he vanquished all the silly army schmoes who were trying to bring him in.

Oh tonight's tube time was watching The Mentalist, which is just exactly the sort of crime procedural crap that I usually avoid (the backbone fare of CBS). But I can't deny myself a Simon Baker fix when there's one to be had. He's not only a fiiiine, foxyass specimen, but he's ever so charming and is the entire reason that show's been deemed worthy of an hour of my time. Well, tonight they had homocidal Chip on, but usually it's just the Simon Baker factor that gets me tuned in.

I have recently watched The Fall and I just LOVED it. The little girl who played Alexandria was very believable and very, very sweet. And Lee Pace was terrific. I was a smidge smitten with him to begin with, but watching him in this movie just cinched it: I heart Lee Pace. He's a handsome enough dude, but I feel like still-photos don't quite convey it. You have to see him in action, get the full audio-video to really perceive his merits. In addition to being rather foxy, the guy exudes a sort of ...I dunno...soulfulness. So you have a really dreamy dude befriending this adorable little girl and then add to that gorgeous vistas and cool costumes. How could I not dig this movie??

embarrassing admission..

I am somewhat inept at pumping my own gas. I mean, I comprehend the basic procedure (I'm not that mentally deficient) but I am totally reliant on the gas pump "trigger kickstand" and those seem to have inexplicably vanished from 98% of all gas pumps. So yeah,my problem is that I don't really know when my tank is full. I know it's supposed to click off when it's full, just like it does when you use the kickstand, but it will also click off just if you apply a skoach extra pressure. So, if I'm pumping gas (sans kickstand) and the thing clicks off, I'm never really sure if it's due to a full tank, or if my bored hand seized up. And lately, in these frigidyass January days, it's harder than usual to perceive my hand clenching as the bastard is numb and frozen. I can sometimes hear the gas reaching the top of the tank, but usually there's too much background noise for me to aurally hone in on such a faint sound.

Oh,and have I previously mentioned that my dashboard gas gauge is completely nonfunctional?? Has always been busted. My routine is to zero the tripometer every time I fill up and then I watch the miles (not the worthless P.O.S. gas gauge) and hasten to a gas station at around 300 miles. So obviously, I'd like to be totally certain that my tank is, in fact, FULL when I fill it, dig?

I feel like such a schmendrick, tellin' ya all that. Still love me??

Rock Me Amadeus!!

Happy 253rd Birthday Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart!! Y'know, as much as I try to not be a cretin, (and I do in fact, enjoy a good deal of classical music) still the thing I love mostest about Mozart is that he inspired Falco to crank out "Rock Me Amadeus"

I was walking through the Finance Dept at work yesterday and I spied someone on Blogger...blogging. Shame, SHAME, I KNOW YOUR NAME!!

On principle, I don't really object. In my heart of hearts, I am definitely for a li'l slacking off on the job. I know that's a hard-to-defend position, especially in today's economy... Well, I probably couldn't defend it, but I feel it to be right...much like how I feel about the 10 minute grace period. I feel like, if your shift is say, 8am-5pm, you can get to work anywhere between 8-8:10 am and still be considered on time. Too bad that's not universally accepted by employers. Ohhh, if only I ran a bidness...(it would crash & burn in a month or two!!)

Anyways, back to the Finance Dept blogger. Now, while I wasn't opposed to her blogging, it did irk me. What the hell is Finance doing that their drones have all this down time?? I want in on that dept!! I mean, that used to be ME! I used to have time to sneak a post in during the day!! Now I'm busy all day and not accomplishing a damn thing. I feel like I finish little bits of things but I'm constantly getting sidetracked some way or another, and my "Pending" pile never quite manages to shrink.

I'm trying to keep in mind that Change-of-Status form I've got in with HR. They have got to approve that and gimme some more green. Surely all this uncharacteristic dilligence would be less of a pain in my arse if I was chasing a bigger carrot, y'know?

Muppet music

Last posting, I was saying how many terrif songs I've discovered from watching my Muppet Show DVDs. Here are two examples...








Even though I did find & buy these songs, iTunes didn't have these versions, unfortunately... (iTunes is abominably lacking in Muppet fare)

short list of stuff I'm diggin' right now...

1. VH1's Confessions of a Teen Idol--
Ok, all the principles are kind of ridiculous, (the so-called "idols") but y'know what I love about it?? Co-yodas Jason Hervey & Scott Baio--those two are the cat's jammies. I love how Jason Hervey has grown up to be all mysteriously ,behind-the-scenes-type successful and he shows up being rather chillaxed and benevolent when part of you expects him to be all Wayne Arnold and give one o' these guys a noogie. It's that defiance of expectations that is so delightful. And then you've got Scott Baio as the acting Dr Drew figure. I don't know why that thrills me so. It's that flouting of expectations again , I suppose. One doesn't expect terms like "wisdom" "mentor" and "CHACHI" to be associated with the same dude, y'know.

2. Marina City-Chicago-- I picked up an illustrated encyclopedia of North American Architecture the other night (this one, specifically) and though I have yet to pore over it thoroughly, I was very taken with the Marina City towers. I was daydreaming about setting up in one of those condos, and the big question (was not if I could afford it..because the answer to that is an unequivocal & resounding NOOO) was if that were, hypothetically, my digs, would I dare to hang out on my own balcony?? I certainly don't get afraid of heights when inside a skyscraper, but in the open air?? I dunno. The top of the Empire State Building was a cinch, because the fencing around that is hellah tall (for obvious reasons). But the Marina City condo balconies sport railings that look to be about waist high. Maybe you're not likely to fall over that, but it's not impossible. Especially not if you're a "tippler" and, as it happens, in this hypothetical alternate reality, I do throw a good number of cocktail parties. Pity.

Oh, additionally, I was researching the features & amenities of the Marina City complex and discovered that one of the three on site eateries is an intriguing place called Dick's Last Resort. I'd never heard of this place before, but I guess it's a smallish nationwide chain. Hmm--curioso. Maybe I'll seek out the Boston branch one of these days.

3. Folk music-- I certainly don't want to represent myself as any sort of afficionado. I'm dabbling at present...one of my kicks, you know. I just redeemed an iTunes gift card and 3/4 of the stuff I bought was folk tunes. Here is, specifically, what I got...
*Cottleston Pie
*Lavender Blue (Burl Ives)--OK.. these first 2 are maybe more children's songs (with Disney connections) but they sort of feel folky to me.
*The Fox (by Odetta) --the version I have is by Odetta, but not a live version (like the one I linked to here) I like the one on my iPod better, but in both versions she sings "Old Mother Flipper Flapper" in a way that never fails to make me chuckle
*Leatherwing Bat (by Peter,Paul , & Mary) Discovered this song when I saw Judy Collins sing it on The Muppet Show. I don't know how many "MUST-HAVE" songs I've discovered by watching my DVDs of seasons 1-3 of the Muppet Show. A ton of 'em, really. Unfortunately, I couldn't find the Judy Collins version on iTunes. Bah.
*Froggy Went A-Courtin' (Doc Watson) -- I also have an awesome "Cotton Eyed Joe" by Watson. I did a little research on Doc and was kinda awestruck. He lost his sight as a baby but is just amazing on the guitar & banjo nonetheless. I guess it might be sorta condescending of me to be so astonished at blind people accomplishing stuff, but I always am... I think because, when I imagine myself as blind I see it as a whole lot of me wallowing in self pity and barking orders at people. (Get me a fucking Diet Coke NOW!! Are you going to let me die of thirst because I can't see my way into the kitchen you heartless bitch??") Have I ever mentioned here that the inventor of cruise control was blind?? Yep, Ralph Teetor..and after you read up on him, I suggest checking out Doc Watson.
OK, back to the topic of folk music, before I commence ta blathering on about Helen Keller and Mary Ingalls
*Billy Boy (Ed McCurdy)-- I enjoy this song right up until the end where a pivotal "plot point" is revealed via rapidly sung math equation. Now, I struggle with math problems when they're laid out in black & white on a paper before me, so as you mighta guessed, I'm just hopeless at solving this one.
*Old Dan Tucker (Oscar Brand) I'm kind of smitten with Old Dan Tucker. He washed his face in a frying pan, for the love o' Pete's Dragon!! How can you not love that??
*(Green Corn) Come Along Charlie (Josh White)-- my favorite acquisition. I just LOVE this song.

Karma or Korean food???

As you'll recall, on Tuesday I succumbed to an entirely fictitious bout of nausea that precluded me from going to work. So, is it karmic or just coincidental then, that I got sick for reals on Friday? All day on Friday, I was not feeling right in the tummy region... but I skipped breakfast (just had a.m. coffee and a late morning Diet Coke) so I really couldn't distinguish whether I felt ill or if I was having hunger pains. So at lunchtime, I walked over to Shaw's and picked up a small size tomato basil vegetable soup and a couple smoothies (Bolthouse Farms-- C-boost & Strawberry Banana) But when I got back I slurped down a half spoonful of the soup and couldn't bear to touch any more of it. So I drank one of the smoothies over the course of the afternoon but I firmly concluded that my "not feeling right" was not hunger pains when I headed to the bathroom in the late afternoon (3 ish) to dry heave for about 5 minutes. As much as I enjoy the undisputable downtime & respite that office potty visits afford me (seriously-- work is that lousy lately) I am still very glad that I did NOT yarf at work. Nope. I postponed that until about 6pm. So after I booted up all of that C-boost I didn't dare eat anything until late this morning when I made myself some waffles. They seemed to set alright so then I went out to dinner and had steak tips. OOOops! A trifle too audacious, that. Now my stomach is making these constant hideous "BLRRRRGGGGLLEMWWAARRRBRRBLLBRR" noises and I'm having yellow foamy poos. Sorry to be so graphic. I'm too in the moment, too preoccupied with my present gastrointestinal distress to worry about delicacy. I'm tempted to ring up my bro-in-law and have him search about for "yellow foam" in the What's Your Poo Telling You? desk calendar I gave him for his b-day.


I did get some funky Korean food from Yama's on Wednesday night (also had leftovers for lunch Thurs) Don't get me wrong, I've had some great eats at Yama's-- for instance, their sushi is terrif ,also I always enjoy their pad thai & gyozas. But sometimes I get too experimentally minded for my own good. I got all stoked to try something *new* and I ordered---
Now, generally, I do enjoy spicy . The buffalo wing, for example, is a great friend of mine. But there is a nice spicy and then there's just masochistic spicy. This Yukyejang dish was of the latter class. But I thought, maybe the next day, perhaps it would have somehow mellowed, plus I would dump in all my leftover sticky rice and that would temper it a bit so I could enjoy it for my Thursday lunch . Well, it was a bit more bearable, but nothing I would order again. For one thing, I noticed that, floating amidst the scallions, shredded beef, and eggy bits ( all lovely components, especially the eggy bits-- that was what had sold me-- I love eggy bits in my Asian food. Unfortunately the BRIGHT RED ATOMIC BROTH detracted from aforesaid components) were these small, stem-like bits that were very GREY. I mused aloud (to the dismay of Larry who happened to be in the lunch room at the same time) that there was something that looked like either tails or umbilical cords bobbing about in my soup. The first one I noticed, I gawked at it, pointedly did NOT ingest it, wadded it up into a napkin and tossed it into the garbage. But then I saw a couple more and thought: Ok, one or two might be a tail /umbilical cord (you know, one of those freak finger-in-the-Wendy's-chili incidents) but with three bits, it's got to be somethin' that's supposed to be in there, right? So I supposed it to be a piece of some kooky Asian mushroom and stopped eating around them. They weren't very tasty though. Like I said, **NOT** something I'd order again.

But all that said, I don't think the yukyejang got me sick. If it were that, wouldn't I have been sick Wednesday or Thursday night???

this movie looks promising...

day of rest/guilt

I called in "sick" today. It was about 30% not wanting to get out of bed and 70% being worn down by my job lately. After calling in, I went back to bed, woke up at 11am and my first thought: "I can't believe I did that." And now there is this heavy fog of trepidation surrounding my return to work tomorrow. I feel like I was seen through or like I am going to be instantly. And you know when you miss work and you get this paranoia about what went down when you weren't there to play defense?? Maybe it's just me. But I feel like management must take the opportunity (of my absence) to detect everything I've let languish or fall through the cracks and also to closely peruse the state of disarray my desk is in.

On the other hand...I deserved a break. And, it's not like I've made a habit of this (in fact, it's the first time I've done it...at this job).

I'm kind of disgusted with myself that I can't just play hooky without incurring this weighty torment over it. I guess I wish I was more Ferris Buellery...

Mr Morton is the subject of the sentence--and what the predicate sez he does

I have Schoohouse Rock--Grammar Rock on my iPod. I don't quite remember when I put it on there, but for some reason none of those 10 songs came up in shuffle mode until just recently. The other morning, I was en route to work and "The Tale of Mr Morton" came on. It's the most romantic song about grammar ever. I am just lovin' that song! I don't remember it from back in the day (not surprising--subsequent research has found it aired at the very end of Schoolhouse Rock's run-- 1993) So now I've been listening to all the Grammar Rock songs and find myself in awe of how brilliant these songs are. I think especially listening to 'em on the iPod --without the accompanying animation-- highlights how very well written the music was. Of course the complete cartoons were a kick too... I was thrilled to find THIS SR site with lyrics to all the songs and links to the cartoons on YouTube.

These are the Grammar Rock songs --
1. Busy Prepositions
2.Conjunction Junction-- To me, this is the ubiquitous Schoolhouse Rock song. I had a ringer tee that I used to wear quite a bit that had the "Conjunction Junction" logo on it w/ the little engineer dude . WTF ever happened to that tee? I am so sorry to have misplaced it! Anyways, this song is performed by Jack Sheldon, who is the dude who performed all the best Schoolhouse Rock ditties (Conjunction Junction, Tale of Mr Morton, Rufus Xavier Sarsparilla, & I'm Just a Bill) whom I was surprised to discover is a white dude. You know how sometimes you listen to a song and just automatically get a notion of the singers' race? Like how sooo many radio listeners circa 1987 thought Rick Astley was black ...and how I was always certain that the lead singer of Cameo was white (I mean...he sounded like such a poindexter I just couldn't conceive of him being a black guy...mind you, this was back in pre-Urkel times.) Anyways, you get the gist... I had always been sure the singer of "I'm Just a Bill" & "Conjunction Junction" was black. And today, in my Schoolhouse Rock mania just a modicum of searching turned up these three biographical factoids about Mr. Sheldon: 1) White guy 2) Not dead yet and.. 3)also an accomplished trumpet player!!
3.Interjections!-- One of the most effective ones. The lesson is very clear in this one-- I bet if I was 4 or 5 hearing that song...I could grasp the concept of interjections after 1 listen. But it's catchy too..it's not like it's a godawful drag like some of those America Rock! tunes
4.Lolly, Lolly, Lolly Get your Adverbs Here
5. Rufus Xavier Sasparilla-- I love this one ... another Jack Sheldon. Very funny, and still, I do think it explains pronouns pretty comprehensibly.
6. Unpack your Adjectives-- another very good one. Slightly less catchy but still a good song. I hadn't known that Blossom Dearie had performed any Schoolhouse Rock tunes but she did this one (and a few others-- Math & History)
7. Verb:That's What's Happening-- "I get my thiiiing in action!" This song is great...it sounds like the most danceable song on the Hair soundtrack ('cept it's not off the Hair soundtrack..just sounds like it oughtta be) In fact, I was shakin' my arse to this song while I was cooking sweet tater home fries for dinner tonight. Shakin' and cooking--them's verbs. But that song really might be too groovy to teach the lesson. It's hard for me to contemplate parts of speech while wanting to dance...it's like different sectors of your brain are battling...not all that conducive to learning. Still, I love this song.
8. Noun is a Person Place or Thing
9. The Tale of Mr Morton-- this is the one that's really stuck in my noggin . I shoulda skipped the YouTube clip--I thought the animation was meh. It definitely stands out from that great, classic 70s look found in the classic SR bits. It really looks like Heathcliff-caliber cartoonage. Really...it might be by the Heathcliff people. Crappy crap-o-la. But still, the song is boss... check it out...

more job blathering

Larry is (thank God!) growing back his moustache. I think he was perceptive enough to pick up on the nonverbal negative feedback , all those disconcerted "trying-not-to-stare-at-your-upper-lip" looks.

Oh, there's another aesthetically disconcerting guy at work--Mark. I am glad I don't have a lot of dealings with him...well, mostly because I don't like him. But on a purely superficial level....he..uhh..well, he either needs a heavy ply undershirt or a package o' Low Beams. I don't recall, in all my years, ever encountering a guy smuggling raisins like that. I feel as if there must have been a few incidents here and there --but nothing really stuck in my memory. Mark stands out though (LITERALLY..haa hardy har har) because it's severe and EVERYDAY. Oh, OK, maybe it's not fair to say everyday. But every time I see him that is the unfortunate case. He seems to be a big fan of the clingy polo shirt. I can only hope he has some hooded sweatshirts for his off-hours wardrobe. Hoodies are my go-to garment when I want low profile ta tas (aka days I can't be bothered with strapping on a bra)

I've been having dreams about work... about having missed supplies I had to order, reorganizing med supplies, crap like that (no nipply nightmares, thankfully). I hate it when work impinges on my ZZZzzzzs, man. I had one sort of surreal one where I was doing laps around the building on stilts. I would think the more fitting trick would be juggling, but I guess my subconscious was trying to be more metaphorically creative.

On the + side.. I met with Cathy today to discuss all my job duties and she told me I was really doing a great job --either because I am or because she thinks that I am or because it's glaringly evident to all that I'm thisclose to unravelling and she is trying to bolster my frail morale. All I know is I'm trying really hard. I hope it all becomes "old hat " soon and then it will be less work to me. I'll be honest-- I don't like working so hard and I'm not crazy about responsibility. Oh, but I did infer a silver lining at the outset of the paragraph--I nearly forgot. Well, I ever-so-gingerly brought up the topic of a pay increase... I don't know what the outcome is gonna be there. First off, YAY ME for broaching the subject (I was feeling rather wussy about it). And I didn't quite get shot down..got more of a "we'll see". I can't get a review until my 1 yr anniversary rolls around in May but Cathy is submitting a "Change of Status " form to HR to switch me from "office specialist" to "administrative assistant" (they both sound terribly drab and peon-esque but I'm told the latter is an upgrade) and she said IF there is a higher pay bracket for that, and IF they have the $$ for it...she made it sound as if she were going to lobby for it with the higher ups. Oh, I half suspect that she's just paying me lip service... But I suppose I was really readying myself for a quick and definitive "NO we don't have the $$" or "NO we can't consider it until your annual review" Consequently, a line of B.S./"we'll see" answer seemed downright encouraging.

tunes

Well, I've covered how stressed work's had me as of late. It's not only the stress of having to play bad cop that's wearing on me. It's also that my job right now is not very clearly defined. All these departments are wanting something from me, and while it is nice to be needed, I'm also feeling spread very thin... and like there's not enough hours in the day. It's no friggin' wonder that it takes me a lifetime to finish a simple project, I'll be starting a spreadsheet and suddenly there's someone at my desk --" I need saline solution and 3x3 gauze" and then back to my desk, 3 minutes pass and another visitor--"The finance printer is out of toner". And my computer was exceptionally freeze-prone this past week. I can't remember the last time I wrapped work at 4:30pm like I'm supposed to (and I'm sure as shit not getting OT $$ for it, I reeeeeally hope somebody's taking notice!!) So that's what work's been like lately, anyways.

So have you ever had your shuffling iPod miraculously spit out the most absolutely perfect song for your mood?? That happened twice to me this week on my commute home from work. One night I heard Grandmaster Flash's The Message and the next night Donna Summer's She Works Hard for the Money. (I always want to call that song "She Works Hard for the Money-but They Never Treat Her Right" -- the proper title feels very incomplete to me)

Okay, well The Message has a lot of stuff about societal ills of the ghetto that don't quite apply to me and Summer's song is specifically about a hooker**, but the choruses of both felt especially meaningful to me.

Speaking of tunes..watching Mamma Mia on New Year's Day Night seems to have whet my appetite for ABBA. I have quite a bit of ABBA on my iPod, but it has recently come to my attention that I am woefully lacking their song Money, Money, Money. And that song is another one that would come on and feel exceptionally relevant. (I would nod vigorously in agreement, all "Oh, man, I feel ya! This is like MY THEME SONG! Sing it, Bjorn!!" Seriously! check out the lyrics here and see why it is very much in the running to be my official theme song)
I do have Chiquitita on my iPod but had never really given it its due before. But I am really digging it lately. I like the piano bits and I think the line "Chiquitita you and I cry, but the sun is still in the sky and SHINING ABOVE YOU" is really lovely. The song makes "Chiquitita" sound like a proper name, but I do think it's just a common Spanish term of endearment meaning either "little banana" or "chicken tits" HA!!

Dig this...



Is it not enough that they are one of the best pop music acts in the world-nay,the universe!--but presumably the quartet are ALSO master snowman crafters!! That snowdude makes Frosty look bush league, yo.

**Ummm, yeah, I was fact checking and discovered that "She Works Hard for the Money" is actually *not* about a prostitute. I seriously always thought that. Guess that's pretty telling of the subversive nature of my noggin, eh?

Public Enemy Numero UNO

SOS-I'm struggling with job related stress!! CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!! So, y'all know that effective, ohhh, a coupla weeks ago, I am no longer the VNA's front desk dame. Our Wilder office (HR, Executive, Marketing depts) merged with our W Lebanon office (clinical/ clinical support ) in W Leb and the Wilder receptionist took over front desk duties and I became office "gun for hire" and fair game for anyone & everyone to co-opt as their own personal lackey (of course, I do prefer the term "gun for hire" over "lackey") I knew I was going to be helping Cathy out--that much I was prepared for. But Family Support Services team wants me for data entry help for stats they have to submit monthly. The Hospice group wants clerical help. But what has really been sucking up the bulk of my time is being the Co-Warden of Supplies. Part of my job is ordering all the supplies--office supplies (which is a breeze) and now medical supplies (which I am learning bit by bit-- it's a lot to remember...for instance, you wouldn't believe how many different types of gauze and wound dressings we deal in-- it's insaaaane) The ordering part of it is okay...although it's a bit high pressure, thinking of being responsible for our patients steeping in an uncomfy swamp of piss in the event that I don't get their cath bag ordered in a timely fashion (so far I've been able to keep on top of it!!) But the real loathsome part of the job is that all the supplies-- office& medical are in this supply room that is now (as of this past Tuesday) locked up and only accessible via key card. We have 4 clinical managers who have card access to the room (instead of the supply room, I like to call it the Lare lair because Larry's desk is in there) one scheduler (Vickie) does, then Larry & me. But I have been officially designated the supplies point person--this official designation coming from an email the area director sent the other day that dropped my name about 50 times in it. There's something slightly queasifying about an all-agency email that has your full name mentioned in it.

So anyways...if anyone wants office or med supplies they have to fill out a form (the paperwork is in wall-mounted racks outside The Lair) indicating name, date & their needs and they bring this completed form to yours truly and I go in and fill their order for them. This is a switch from the former system in which they just went into an unlocked supply room and helped themselves to what they needed. So, as you might have surmised, the staff is not overly enthusiastic about this policy change. And WHOM d'ya think is feeling the brunt of the belligerence?? That'd be moi. I'm a bit sickened by it myself. I mean...y'all know how I feel about THE MAN (not warm & fuzzy) and now I seem to very much be an emissary of THE MAN. It seems--when I want to hold on to my sad pittance of a paycheck-- that my principles are pretty malleable.
Anyways, having to amp up my wit & charm (considerable though it is) in order to retain the good opinion of the resentful staff ...it's a smidge tiring.
Ohh! And then the other day, I take one o' the physical therapists into the lair with me to fill her order. I've taken staff in there with me before, but this was the first time I did it when Larry was in there. He came up to me afterwards and he's like:"I really can't have you taking people through my office like that" He seemed to be miffed that: A) our chatter was distracting him from a phone conversation and B) I took her in there to get one thing and she saw toe nail clippers that she didn't have and took those...and he, I suppose, perceived that as just the sort of gratuitous supply filching that it's his new mission in life to combat. And to these two points I just wanted to counter: A) it was not MY piss-poor planning that put your dumbass desk in the supply room, asshole and B) I was doing Penny's sign out sheet for her and marked down the g-d toenail clippers and furthermore, if she is willing and able to take those things to the yellow, craggy talons of an old person's foot, then she is MOST WELCOME to the clippers, along with a hearty helping of my sincerest admiration. And this further pissed me off because in past weeks, when we were arranging supplies and shelves in there he was asking for my input and said "I want you to think of this as YOUR OFFICE too." He musta said that a dozen friggin' times and has in other words encouraged me to go in there freely as needed & to have a sense of ownership of the supply room. I suspect he says this because he hopes when he's off at the other branches, I'm in there arranging & sorting things so he doesn't have to arrange & sort anything. It would be pretty sweet to have an office methinks, but I'd rather have my desk in the fucking parking lot than have to share an office with Larry. I was training in Springfield with this lady Delce (who's been with the agency since the dawn of time & has been ordering med supplies for much of her tenure) and Larry called her on the phone and joked that he was moving my desk into the supply room with his and I said (in a half holler) "NO ...WAY" And there was that pause in the middle of that, since I had to struggle to stifle the word "fucking". Anyways, even though I certainly do NOT want the lair as my office, it vexed me that he's so quick to change his tune, because I took this giant tour group of ONE other person through there and we forgot to use our library voices, and then he's all "I really can't have you taking people through my office like that" So internally I snapped back "It's my office too, FARTFACE, so I can bring through whoever the fuck I want to"

Furthermore, I think what he is proposing for supply acquisition SOP is pretty rude! I mean, management is already insulting the staff by putting supplies under lockdown. OK, in management's defense, if their research shows that the agency is hemorrhaging money via supplies then there probably is a sound method to this madness and probably there was some filching going on. But, I can see where the staff is offended also. Of course, it's easy for me to see their side (not being management myself, plus having very strong anti-TheMan sympathies to begin with). But it's also a classic case of "a few bad apples spoiling the bunch". There's plenty of clinicians, I am sure, who were perfectly sensible in their supply-taking, but they have to be micromanaged & policed now due to a handful of filchers. And of the filchers, I'm sure much of it was absent mindedness, poor planning, etc. Maybe it's very "Pollyanna" of me, but I don't think much of it can be truly attributed to calculated extortion. So anyways, not only are they having to fill out a form to have me obtain supplies out of lock-up, but I'm also now expected to SHUT THE DOOR IN THEIR FACE and say "Oh, you are not permitted to come in here with me. So sorry." That's effing redonkulous.

Instead of countering all of the preceding(very good) arguments I just said (paraphrasing here-), "That's fine for office supplies, but while I'm still learning what med supplies we use, I need to bring them in there with me so I understand what they want. I'm learning these products, but I am learning them by the name printed on the package, and the specs listed on the vendor website, but the clinicians that actually use this stuff have their own unique jargon for it a lot of the time. It's like we're speaking 2 different languages and it's really helpful if we can both go in there and look at the stuff." And he just sort of said "Hmm. Yeah." and nodded, but didn't really seem too enthused about conceding the point. Bastard.

I drink your milkshake!! I DRINK IT UP!!

That has nothing to do with my impending post. I just love that line for some odd reason. I want to do some kind of sick Kelis-Daniel Day Lewis mash-up, but I half-suspect it's already somewhere on YouTube and I want to PIONEER that shite or I won't even bother, y'know??

Today I went to Keene shopping. My whole objective was to obtain my 2009 calendar. The W Lebanon Borders selection was meh, and the Dartmouth Bookstore's was downright lousy. So I set off for the next closest Borders. I wanted to get a Schott's Miscellany desk calendar but, although the Keene Borders' selection was a smidge better, they didn't have Schott's either. But I figured, it's Jan 4th, so I best get something. So I picked up this desk calendar instead. I've had it in previous years...it's a good one. If I happen to run across the Schott's Calendar in my travels, (perhaps in Feb or March at which point it will be 75% off) then I'll pick it up. I know, I know, I could just buy the bugger offa Amazon, but it really galls me to pay shipping on stuff.

I was tempted to buy ABBA Singstar for the PS2...but then recalled I don't actually have a PS2 (or a gaming console of any kind) I'm just becoming addicted to my sister's. If I picked up a Singstar game, it really ought to cater to everyone's tastes. I have a feeling like I'm the only one who'd appreciate the ABBA edition (after all, Fernando is , in my mind, the uberultimate karaoke song...if I had to karaoke to save my life, that is *probably* what I'd sing, with a slight outside chance that I'd go with Ice Ice Baby instead) and it would wind up as more of a one-woman show than a game.

Next door to Game Stop (which is a really cluttered and disorganized mess of a store, BTW) is Bed, Bath, &Beyond which I popped into on an impulse and I am SO GLAD I did because 'twas there that I found exactly what I'd been wanting to get my Dad for his b-day (coming up on Jan 6) I got him.....the SHAMWOW!! Damned exciting, don'tcha think? I'm stoked, anyways. Perhaps I'll also buy one of those giant gallons of gross supermarket brand cola and then immediately after presenting him with the Shamwows, I will proceed to empty the whole jug onto the livingroom carpet and then we'll see what those mo-fos can do, eh?? The chick that rang me up at Bed, Bath & Beyonce (ha,haaa! oh my, that is FUNNY) said that her b.f. is a Shamwow owner and he really likes the product. So, obviously, I am quite optimistic.

Here's another purchase of interest... among other things I picked up at Target, I bought a box of Pepperidge Farms Wheat Crisps. I know, I know, I should've opened with that and then broke the news about ShamWOW because that seemed terribly anticlimactic as I just typed it. But lemme tell ya, compadres, I had these at my sister's on New Year's Eve and I was continually & compulsively dumping these into my mouthhole. They are damned tasty. I want to infiltrate the Pepperidge Farms farmlands, locate the silo with the Wheat Crisps in it, and shut myself in there for 3 or 4 days. Mmmm-mmm!

vocabularic oddity

Dictionary.com's word du jour for Jan 3,2009--

yegg \yeg\, noun:a burglar who robs safes; safecracker

Huh. That's one woid I's nevah hoid!!

I just changed the desktop to this terrific Tamara deLempicka pic. It's one I've used before (in the winter, of course, as I do endeavor to be seasonally apropos)



One thing that really irks me about my current gig is that we can't style our desktops the way we want. Oh, we get our pick of whatever solid color we wanna put on there, but that's it pally!! Yep, the IT Dept blocked the worker bees from putting pictures on their desktops. This change happened quite some time before I came on board (so yeah..for the record..it's nothing *I* instigated) and Paul told me the management's explanation of the ban was that it "takes up too much memory" That is such horseshit.

Of course, I did my damnedest to try to reset my computer settings myself so's I could pick a pic from the 'net for my desktop..no dice yet though. So far all I've managed is to make my screensaver a slideshow of findings I've stashed in my My Pictures folder. And that is a very tiny victory because our computers are also set to only have the screensaver up for 5 minutes or so before zonking into sleep mode...well "locked" mode actually. This is on account of those blasted HIPAA regs...which the agency is ridiculously overzealous about.


Anyways, I went on Artophile.com and took pics from there for a 20s fashion themed slide show. That site is definitely worth a peek (the "Art Deco & Pochoir" section that is...all the other sections are totally skippable). I think Erte is the ubiquitous Art Deco fashion artist but I really abhor his stuff. My favorite artists therein are:


George Barbier
Francesco Javier Gose
Etienne Drian (below)





A.E. Marty
Pierre Brissaud (below)





and Fernand Simeon, who has a neat woodblock-looking style (although I don't know what medium(s) he actually did use) The site is featuring a lot more of Simeon's work than it had been the last time I'd checked it and me gusto mucho. For instance...





Ok, so WHAT would be so terribly offensive if I had that splashed across my desktop? I can't believe that even in the nursing industry they want to cultivate legions of corporate automatons, but that is precisely the case. I blame this new CEO (she is fairly new, came on the scene about 3 mos before I did, so she has less than a year under her belt) I had high hopes for her after hearing she was from Maine. Not sure exactly why I am predisposed to think Maine=good...it's either my knowing that Patrick Dempsey is from Maine or from my having watched Sarah Plain & Tall about 100 times over. Could also be my fondness for lobster . Whatever the reason, I was surpised to discover she is a real bitch-on-wheels dragon lady. I don't know anyone in the agency who likes her. Whatev...I shall not let her ruin Maine for me, I'll instead brand her the exception to the ME rule...a freak anomaly.

I want to work for a company that appreciates art and beauty and g-damned INDIVIDUALITY!! I know there are many companies that purport to...but am beginning to seriously doubt that there truly is such a place. I was kvetching to the Eileen-posse at dinner the other evening that my ideal gig is tragically gone the way of the dodo (not in those exact words...I only talk like this in type, you know) I would've liked to have lived in an era (I think the 17th ce was prime for this) where the filthy rich amused themselves by sponsoring the creative & charming professional bon vivant types... and I would be the latter type in this scenario. Although I of course would have no fierce objections to being the former ("filthy rich" that is...I could work with that...in any era!!).

movies movies movies

Movies I've watched recently...

The Beautician and the Beast- put this DVD in a few nights back (yeeeah, I own it on DVD) because I was trying to resist popping in yet another period drama/romance literary adaptation type movie...I get carried away with those. I think I've watched my DVDs of Northanger Abbey & Persuasion (the 2007 BBC productions) at least a dozen times each. Anyways, I was trying to ween myself off of that type fare but still wanted a romance. So I went with this. It is just as vapid as you're supposing, but it's an enjoyable enough way to wile away 102 minutes. It's The Nanny comes to Eastern Europe. Better than The Nanny, really, as there's not that wretched theme song, and Timothy Dalton is far more attractive than that Maxwell Sheffield fellah. Is it an indication of how thoroughly warped I am, that I find Fran Drescher charming? If I could vote for NY state senators, she'd SOO have my vote.

The Wedding Date-- this was on TNT the other night and I watched it even having missed the beginning, which is a big thing for me. This is a formulaic bit of the usual rom-com fluff, but enjoyable pretty much due to both the leads being quite likable. I do think that the relationship was a bit underdeveloped...and the movie has a very short run time so they really could've afforded to tack on a few extra scenes and flesh the story out a smidge. However, my primary response to this flick...what I think every time I watch it really, (I have the DVD) is...DAAAMN that Dermot Mulroney is a FINE looking specimen!!! (I can't help how superficial I am...oh, perhaps I can try...maybe that'll be a resolution for '09??)

Mamma Mia!-- A very frothy good time, as any production founded on the canon of ABBA should be. But oh!!--one bit that was certainly NOT a good time for me--listening to Pierce Brosnan sing. I would not have held it against the director if she had opted to have someone else sing his songs and dub them in. I know that's generally considered a cheap, Milli Vanilliesque move or whatev, but I think an exception should definitely definitely be made in Pierce Brosnan's case. Oy. It's a good thing he's pretty.

Last night, I stopped at Hollywood Video, a place I have managed to avoid for months and months and months now. I shun it because I never wind up renting there, I am too enticed by their pre-viewed DVD sales. I thought I was strong enough to go in there, pick up some used PS2 games for my bro-in-law (his birthday's this Monday) and leave with just those PS2 games. But my spending willpower is always very feeble so near to payday. The siren song of the pre-viewed DVDs overtook me yet AGAIN. So I bought: The Fall Nim's Island Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day & There Will Be Blood
I've only watched 2 of these so far...

Last night, I was in the mood for lighter fare, so I watched Nim's. Jodie Foster was actually quite likable in this whereas I usually find her inexplicably offputting. And I would think...it seems to me , anyhow...that just the proximity to Gerard Butler would switch her back into hetero mode. And she was not just working with him, they had, like, 3/4 of a scene where they mimed romantic bliss. So, I don't see how it could be avoided, in that case.

Tonight I watched There Will Be Blood. I really liked it. It was, overall, a dark movie, but I found myself laughing quite a bit throughout the flick. Not just laughing, but talking to the screen too. If you can't just shut up and watch, you have to emit a gasp or an appalled "You bastard!" --that's the mark of quality cinema right there. It was odd...this main character progresses from rather crooked to balls-to-the-wall EVIL (as well as totally loco)..and still I found myself "rooting" for him. Well, for the most of the movie anyways . When he gets in the argument with the adult HW...well that was what finally turned me , made me at last judge the character unredeemable. I probably was predisposed to root for Plainview because he was portrayed by Daniel Day Lewis...whom I adore. He's just an AMAZING actor. I'm inclined to think the Academy Award he got for this (his second, I believe) was totally merited (I can't say that 100% not having seen the performances he was up against...but I'm like 99.9% sure he was the rightful victor) Oh, and I think it a major oversight that Paul Dano wasn't nominated for Best Supporting Actor for this flick. It woulda been easy to be overshadowed by Lewis, but Dano really impressed me.

My New Year's Eve was decent (if unspectacular). First thing, my coworker Eileen asked me to go to Margarita's with her friend & her. It wound up being her friend Kristen (whom I'd known from my brief GDT career) Kristen's friend Deb, and Deb's friend whose name I can't remember, but probably her countenance will be seared on my memory forever because her dark eye makeup was alarmingly excessive. And it's not as if she was some Goth broad, either. She was preppy (if we must resort to generalistic labels)but apparently woefully mistaught when it comes to cosmetics. Well, whatever, let's just call her "Rocky" shall we? To make a short story inordinately long, there were 5 of us for dinner, and I'm only passingly acquainted with one of them.

I say "my coworker Eileen" and not "my friend Eileen" because, well, although I get along with Eileen well enough I have yet to decide if she really merits entree into my entourage. She's very nice, but kind of uptight seeming. She gets too agitated over her stupid peon job (and I just can't relate to anyone who's not a fellow slacker, I suppose). I am compelled to brand her geeky, but that feels mean (but yeeah, she kinda is) But [to be fair & balanced] here's a compliment-- I was SHOCKED to find out, on her birthday back in November, that she is 46. She looks a good 10 yrs younger than that. However... do you know anybody that makes you think " What a prime candidate for one of those makeover shows!! She is what such shows were invented for!" You're thinking "SANDRA!" aren't ya? Au contraire, smartass. I know how to dress and preen, I just choose--more often than not--to not divest the time & effort . But Eileen truly is ideal makeover material. She's got a good foundation-- tall, good figure, blond hair. But she dresses horribly. With Lasik, a good hairstyle, new wardrobe and just a dusting of makeup, she'd be a KO.. ..and probably look 15 years younger than she really is.
Sorry..I hadn't intended to embark on this big Eileen tangent. But I just gotta add that one of the perils of being a super nice person (such as Eileen) is that you are not very discriminating in the company you keep. You wind up hanging out with...ehhh..not exceptionally interesting or witty types, no one who's overly fun, sort of bland type people...who are all exceedingly kind and sweet and nice. Well, that seems to be (upon first impression) the friends that Eileen has. Not really my crowd, I'm afraid. (ohh...I am so aware of my mile-wide catty bitch streak right now!!) Anyways, dinner was okay. My fajitas were good (everyone else got salads...booo.) and I got 2 of my fave Margarita's margaritas (the Lime-in-the-Coconut Margarita) so it wasn't a total loss.

Then I went to my sister's. I don't know if it was the margaritas or the subsequent champagne or if it was working all day beforehand, but it was all I could do to stay up to midnight. I made it though...just barely.

New Year's Day I lazed around at my sister's and cat napped, played Guitar Hero (I am improving!), went sliding, and then in the evening, the kids, Laura, Greg & I went bowling & went out for Chinese buffet. I should always bowl with the guard rails up. Usually I am against it--feels like cheating to me. But it's good for the kiddies and I didn't argue this time....and bowled a personal best. I can't divulge the exact score (I do recall what it was) because even if a personal best, it's shamefully bad.

Oh and then I went home and watched Mamma Mia! I'd had it on my iPod for a while but I was saving it..for a special occasion maybe?? I suppose New Year's Day qualifies. Anyways, I had wanted to see it in the theater this summer but didn't...methinks I shall save my impressions of the flick for my next post...