LCS rants

I was a bit bummed at the outcome of tonight's Last Comic Standing. I've not been running my mouth off about it here, but I assure you I have been following this season devoutly. I never miss LCS!!

I'm really VERY disappointed that Sean Cullen is out of the running. I'll admit his set from the previous show (song about farmers) was weak, but overall I LOVE the guy. And I thought he killed tonight!! And then for Iliza Schlessin--whatevah making it into the finals. UGH. Soo disheartening. Her big improvement in this week's set was that she refrained from doing her patented funny walk-- oh you know that funny walk that you do in high heels when you're drunk, which , wow, looks amazingly IDENTICAL to the funny walk you do on a date when you slam your cooter into the corner of the table. DEJA VU all over again , biatch. So, no funny walks this week, but it seemed like she was both targeting and channeling the American frat boy demographic. I didn't laugh once. Nary a snicker. Her moving on is not only unjust (it was not right for the largely unfunny Jim Tavare to move on either, but I didn't mind so much because he seems like a nice enough fellah) but worse than that, I'm sure it solidifies her silly insistence on how AWESOME she is...according to her...baah.

I said "a bit bummed" because I found part of the voting results to be righteous. Adam Hunter was horrid and he was long overdue to get the boot. In fact, I can't believe he even beat some of the talented comics in the semis to get on the show in the first place (Dan "Squirrel-adore" Cummins springs to mind) He had this ugly misogynist undercurrent to his act, but was never funny enough to carry it off. His material wasn't very smart at all. His attempt to be au courant had him cracking MULTIPLE John-McCain-is-old jokes. John-McCain-is-old-jokes are even older than McCain-- it was tres pathetic. And his delivery was always lousy--all rapid fire and nervous and shouty.

I was kinda bummed (and shocked) to see Ron G eliminated. He didn't always make me laugh, but I thought his last set (last week's show) was terrif.

Marcus--eh. His impressions are very good, but I'll always feel like impressions are kinda like cheating. I am glad that he does stuff other than impressions, and some of his jokes do get me to chuckle...but I don't think he's really great enough to be the LAST COMIC STANDING.

Don't get me started on Jim Tavare. I can't be fully anti-Jim, as I am naturally inclined to root for a British accent, the guy's clearly a snappy dresser, and the show has shown him to be generous with his kitchen prowess. Also, I was charmed by his sweet familial tableau on the houseboat. But bottom line: guy is NOT funny. I saw him come out on stage with the bass and, tired of his gimmick after just a couple viewings, I was all, "Oh , he's doing THAT again?? Really? Hmm." But after he began firing off the lame jokes I actually found myself thinking "Play the damn bass already!"

I would be cool with either Jeff Dye or Louis Ramey winning. Louis, on tonight's show, was the funniest he's ever been. Ahhh, but Jeff Dye is a sweetie. His schtick about Guess Who? was the best . The way it spoke right to my inner child--it reminded me of Gary Gulman (probably the greatest LCS alum EVAH--definitely my fave) and his neverending reserves of cookie humor. So his material is clever, but probably his best advantage is his great stage presence-- relaxed, charismatic. He's that funny guy at the party (that you want to go home with).

Ohhh, but I miss Sean Cullen! Check out the knock-knock joke he offers up in his interview on the NBC site. That's some funny shit!! What guffaws that gave me!!

irons in the fire

I had an interview on Tuesday at DHMC . I have another one scheduled for Aug 4th but haven't got the time off approved yet. And I had a voice mail today from Karen (who interviewed me on Tues) wanting to schedule a 2nd interview. My boss has GOT to be suspicious about all these unspecified "appointments". I'm just going to 'fess up and tell her I have lupus. Orrrr, uhh, what's a disease needing continual medical upkeep?? Restless Leg Syndrome? Scurvy? Ah well, I WISH I were so good a liar, I know if she addresses the subject I'm going to admit I'm going on job interviews. Would that be seen as a sort of infidelity? I'd bet it would...

The reaction I'm hoping for, though, is "OH GOD NOOO- DON'T LEAVE US!! Name your salary. Just pick a figure, and consider it done, my dear!!"

Well, whatev. I'm not sayin' anything until asked.

AAAAAGH!!

News item that makes me want to NOT "go Greyhound". The gas $$$ saved by bus travel does not now seem like so much of an enticement...

HANDY!!

If this is legit, I am delighted! Many a time, have I wished (wishing in vain, I had thought) that just such a service existed...

I love things that are great (PART DEUX)

It sure would be cool if I was some cultural force, some way powerful arbiter of popular taste (à la Oprah) and my saying that Thing X is cool would compel droves of people to glom on to Thing X, but sadly no... my rattling off things I dig is just a means of cranking out an easy-peasy cheat of a post. Y'see I need to start off with a lame-ish no-brainer post of just this sort when I re-commence posting after a coupla days of slacking.

Well... on to the things that are great...

I bought a new magazine at Borders the other weekend. Well, it's new to me (first I'd ever seen it) but maybe it's been in publication for a while, I dunno. It's called Ready Made, and I hope to evolve into exactly that crafty-ass demographic they're targeting. I think at this point, I can only accurately claim to be a crafty-ass wannabe.

FX has been playing promos for the new season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I am stoked...I ADORRRRE that show. I particularly like Mac (Rob McElhenny). I have this episode on my iPod.

Speaking of fab finds on the telly...I am not generally one for animated shows (Family Guy excluded) but I caught an episode of Flapjack on Cartoon Network and was transfixed by it. The animation is really rad.

enough time & text has elapsed since my yucky post so that I may now rattle off what I made myself for din din.

I put mango cilantro marinade and some pepper on a few fillets of lake trout and baked it for about 10 minutes in my Orka silicone tagine. I took some leftover mashed taters and made potato pancakes... or at least I think I made potato pancakes. I didn't really know how to make 'em and didn't wanna put any effort into scrounging up a recipe so I just sorta ad libbed it. They didn't really form cohesive patties that well, but they were DAMNED tasty!! As well they should be -- with diced up sauteed onions, a smidge of cheddar cheese, pepper & garlic salt avec parsley. Oh maan..I could go for another right about now. Also had some leftover coleslaw. And a Diet Coke.

Watch out Bobby Flay...gimme a li'l more practice, I'll be mopping the floor of Kitchen Stadium with your tired old ass.

worth the $$$

Vince Vaughn = value. I'm so pleased. First off, I'm glad to see one of my faves in the news (and not for something scandalous a la Christian Bale). Secondly, this news quickly hatched in my mind a lame pickup strategy should I ever meet Vince (could happen y'know --most likely when flocks of pigs are flying past a blue moon during a sudden snowball surplus in Hell) If this study is actually being published in Forbes, I should acquire me a copy of that issue--just in case. How suave-- to walk up to Vince and say "I hear you can gimme more BANG for my buck, babe.." or something to that effect, being mindful to have the 'zine at hand in case you happen to have been sitting on that line for 4 or 5 yrs and the guy needs a memory refresher.

I shall let you know if such an opportunity arises...

I mentioned above --in a parenthetical aside-- the brouhaha surrounding dear Christian Bale. I wanna go on record as saying I suspect his mother & sister's accusations are a load of bullshit (or a load of GUANO..haw haw). I mean, when a celeb gets himself/ herself in hot H2O I have 1 of 2 possible reactions. It's either "I hadn't realized he was that type" or "No shocker there". That latter one would apply to something like...a new Britney scandal or Andy Dick's recent arrest (how foul is that guy? eww). The former type of reaction is where I'm mildly surprised because said celeb hadn't particularly struck me as a loose cannon. Then when I consider their character, it seems possible enough even if it hadn't seemed probable (that could be put more concisely...forgive my rambling!!) They hadn't seemed to be one o' those overtly goody 2 shoes stars nor were they in that perpetual train wreck category either...just kind of "neutral" celebs. Oh, I just came up with an example while I was blathering on... when Thomas Jane got a DUI. It popped up in the news early this year (in the spring maybe?) and then fell off the radar almost immediately thereafter. Luckily I remembered the incident as I was able to very handily use it as an example in this case, and also lucky that I remembered it because as I sorta second-guessed whether or not my memory served correct and did Jane actually get a DUI , and when was that again? Anyways that second guessing led to a quick 'net search and that led to my finding this pic---


Hubba hubba hubba... now, that was worth my bad writing / beaucoup run-on sentences, wasn't it??

But back to my point...I do have one...got a li'l (understandably) sidetracked by the TJ photo ( cannot believe he's married to such a dumpy frump) When I heard this about Christian Bale, a new reaction category was born: staunch disbelief. For the first time, when hearing of a celeb scandal, my immediate response was-- "NO. That can NOT be true" Seriously...was even compelled to eschew contractions in order to fully communicate the firmness of my conviction.

Bale has always struck me as a real down-to-earth bloke and a sort of a philanthropic character as well. This whole thing is either a kooky misunderstanding or stemming from his mum & sis being unbalanced. It's got to be...

Let's keep the eyecandy comin' with another pic...

Grody notes (skip if you's squeamish!)

I wasn't going to go to the folks' casa tonight, but my Dad called me at work (at just about quittin' time) and asked me to come. He's been sick all day...my mum had told me he had the shits but I hadn't realized he'd been vomitting too. Well, he's been having stomach flu symptoms all day and my mother was around for most of it, but she's really in no condition to be of any help to him. So he sent her off with Laura and thought he'd just sleep it off alone. Well around 4:15 or so, he got up to go get fresh air outside, but as soon as he got up a simultaneous wave of dizziness& nausea hit him. He didn't pass out (nearly did) but he plunked back down in his recliner and got sick all over the livingroom rug**.

Well, he didn't cover the ENTIRE rug, of course. It seems he got a sizeable patch right in front of the recliner pretty well yarf-covered. He cleaned most of it up..but there was some (UGH) debris for me to pick up before I sprayed the Resolve foam (and laid down 9 or 10 layers). A lot of said debris looked like that pickled ginger that comes complimentary with supermarket sushi. I never eat the ginger...and uhh, after today I probably NEVER will.

Since I've got my grody momentum going, I will further divulge (flouting all laws of good taste) that I had shreds of tomato skin floating around the bowl amidst my runny #2 this evening. Apparently languishing undigested all afternoon because I had tomatoes w/ my lunch, not my dinner. I made myself a really good dinner actually...which I can't even detail in this icky post. It wouldn't be right. Instead I'll close with a gross confession (which is barely relevant, aside from it being gross)..here goes...not a deep DARK confession, but it will surely shatter my image as a paragon of demureness (as so many of y'all perceive me, I know)...ok without further ado..next thing I type will be the aforepromised confession...well perhaps some more elipses...right, no more stalling:
I've long thought the shower is just the ideal venue for flatulence.. the perfect accoustics make it oddly gratifying.

**He called me immediately apres puke to appeal to me to come nurse him. Good timing--he sounded AWFUL. There was no saying no

Re: "I love things that are great"

That's a lyric I stole from this SNL skit:




I don't care if he does call his daughter a pig, Alec Baldwin is rad in my book (in my book of things/people that are rad...in US bookstores mid 2016. Reserve your copy today!!) Just his stellar SNL work alone makes me inclined to give him a free pass to verbally abuse whoever the hell he wants. I love his Tony Bennett impersonation and the little opening tune he sings in this particular skit --hi-flippin-larious. I dunno quite why but it never fails to crack my shit up.

Hey- I love things that are great. Good things are fantastic..

A few things I'm enjoying these days...

A nice clean car...

Okay, okay, so the cleaning process is not ENTIRELY finito, but I've made great strides. I've considerably reduced the clutter and relocated it all to the trunk. So what's left to do is vacuum and then keep chippin' away at the remainder of the clutter in said trunk. What's key though, is that my car has more or less returned to normal (lost that "I'm-a-vagrant-that-lives-in-my-car" look that it's apt to have)

This is my latest lipstick purchase (bought during my last Target excursion) and I'm VERY pleased with it. Boots No.7 Sheer Temptation Lipstick. I wear it nearly everyday. Except I didn't get the color shown above I got "Smoulder", the red shade indicated on the No.7 Sheer Temptation palette below:

That color just to the left of "Smoulder" looks good to me too. It is called "Facinate". Either the Boots website has a typo there, or the Brits (Boots is a UK co.) have a funky spelling for "fascinate" I may have to buy more Boots makeup when I next journey to Target...

Lakes--

More specifically..I had me a monstrously nice Saturday at Lake Sunapee this past weekend. I hadn't ever (prior to this past weekend) really hung out in the harbour area, I'd only gone to the Lake Sunapee state beach. The harbour was maaaahvelous. It made me think about how I really prefer the lakes/woods setting over the ocean/beach scene. Don't get me wrong, I do really like the ocean & beach, too. But how perfectly idyllic is a sylvan set lake..with a rustic cabin... I would LOVE that!

(New addendum to my personal ad: "must own lake house")

I was jonesin' for strawberry ice cream the other night--usually I'm a chocolate gal, but sometimes a strong yen for strawberries seizes me-- and I picked up this instead, in order to be somewhat virtuous. It's actually very yummy.

and lastly...on an odd note...this news item amused me immensely..(only thru Fark would I stumble onto somethin' like that!!)

another thing I wanna do this summer...

..is go camping. I usually average once per summer, although I didn't get to last summer. It's a pissah..I've got all this stuff I wanna do (go back to York, go camping, catch a concert. . . )and so little time to fit it in...even littler fundage to make it all happen.

Well, I hope I can get some camping in ... for just a weekend at the very least. Until I do, this terrif VT state parks site will have to tide me over...

WHEEEEE

I saw a sign in McD's today advertising the summer events at a ski resort somewhere. Obviously I was not reading really attentively, as I cannot now tell you which resort nor do I recall whether said forgotten resort was in VT or NH. What I do remember (this is why the sign transfixed me so) was that it featured a pic of a girl on an Alpine Slide. This got me to thinking about how I've not enjoyed an Alpine Slide since waaay back in high school (summer before junior yr when I journeyed to CO --to be precise)

Gosh, I miss the Alpine Slide.

Of course, this led to a bout of Alpine Slide themed 'net perusal. First I found out that the leading North American manufacturer of Alpine Slides is here in Vermont!! (these guys, in E Dorset)Well, that just makes me swell up with state pride (oh no, that's from the wasp stings...but truly I am proud) For some reason, I had it in my head that there was just ONE Alpine Slide. Like this definitive manufacturer that was the sole source for genuine Alpine Slide brand Alpine Slides. But that website's header "Leading North American Manufacturer!!" clearly implies that there are other North American Alpine Slide makers, and sort of hints that they're making 'em in other countries too. But this VT company has been making them since the 70s.. so it would seem they're no amateurs... So, still proud.

I wonder if it's really imperative that you be some sort of resort location in order to get one of these. I'm going to use that site's contact info and call them up. My side of the convo. would go something like: "Mmm yes. Hello... my name is Sandra and I am in need of an Alpine Slide installation at my residence. Of course. Well, you see, cost is no issue, my good man. Truly. I do pretty well... ah, let's forego the false modesty, shall we? I am ,like, OPRAH-RICH, folks. I require this slide by early June. No later than the tenth!!"

There was a surprising amount of Alpine Slide footage on YouTube. Wellll, I ought never be surprised to find something on YouTube, as there is an awful lot of everything on YouTube. What surprises me, really, is how there seems to be no safety regulations about going down the Alpine Slide one-handed, holding a camcorder. I mean, these resorts affect this semblance of concern, with all their yellow diamond-shape signs reading "SLOW!" or "Caution: Dip" and the like, but if they're letting so many of these yahoos ride and film simultaneously then probably rider safety is not all that imperative. Probably they don't care if you slide down the whole thing on your face.

Nevertheless, I'd quite like to seek out an Alpine Slide this summer.

Now behold what must be the alpiniest of all Alpine Slides. You can probably tell from the surroundings, but I'll tell ya anyways--this one's located in Zurich , Switzerland (in the ALPS) . Just lovely...

and Saturday I made a POULTICE

Back in my TDC days I would occasionally come to work sick/sickish, & it amused me to no end to command Robin (via IM usually) to make me a poultice. I would alternate this with demands that she "fetch me an elixir!" but it was the word "poultice" that really cracked me up (yet another instance of me cracking me up, y'know...) I don't suppose many are as inordinately amused by the word "poultice" as I am.
Anyways that memory crossed my mind today when I really in real-life had to make & apply an actual POULTICE. Come to find out, poultices exist for other reasons than my hypothetical amusement. For instance, if you are helping your father move wood, and upset a whole damn metropolis of yellow jackets that was dwelling under a pallet you just hefted...well then a baking soda poultice comes in handy for your subsequent multiple stings. Those f-ers. And OF COURSE ,I instinctively went with the absolute worst course of action. Well the running was probably wise, it was the flailing and the intense wigging out that didn't help matters. One of the bastards flew right into my eye..stung me just beneath it. I have to give my Dad credit..I think if I'd witnessed someone bleat and flail and run and holler and (the pièce de résistance) drop on to the lawn and rub my face on the grass (why did having a wasp in my eye cause me to do this? I cannot recall the rationale there, nor can I make sense of it in retrospect) I woulda been hard pressed not to laugh at them. I know, I know, I'm EVIL. I mean, of course I would've had the decency to ask them "are you OKAY???" prior to succumbing to hysterics. But yeah..I woulda laughed. Probably even now, even after it's happened to me.

work blather

The preceding Raisinet anecdote illustrates my point about how mad nice everyone I work with is. I mean, I'm always saying it (really, whenever I get the "how's the new job going?" question, it's the first thing I say!) But there we have a concrete example. There can now be no refuting my assertion.

That's why it will be hard to leave if I get this DHMC gig. (I WILL do it though...it promises more $$ and uhh, nice coworkers are terrif and all, but Raisinets ain't payin' my rent. Cash is king, babe!)

Another thing I will miss is doing my daily office-wide email. Everyday (M-F, that is) I email everyone general reminders, announcements, rattle off what meetings are on that day,& list who's out and list who's in (that's who's in from the clinical manager group-not for the whole staff) More importantly, if I'm not hellah busy that morning and I've got the time to, I will throw in a bit of trivia, or a riddle, or an impressive vocab word (I really like a word I shared last month: uxorious)


Well, heck... why don't I make with more examples (I am just boffo with the concrete examples today!!) Below, is my 7/11 email verbatim (truly-- ctrl C 'ed & ctrl V'ed direct from my "Sent" folder) I thought it might give you a smidgen of a voyeuristic thrill. Nothing on par with the ol' IM screen caps of yore, to be sure. But it's somethin', eh??

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Good morning everybody!!

Please remember that coming up on Monday 7/14, we have the first session of ABN/EBN, VT discharge training (beginning 8:30am). If you can’t make this first session, there will be another on 7/23 (starting 3 pm) and again on 7/24(8:30am). Please call me to sign up once you’ve decided on a session.

On to today’s announcements—

Who’s Out: Judy , Carol ,Paul

Who’s In: Cathy, Shawna, Bridgette, June, Sheila

Ricky is in Wilder all day for an orientation
Karen is in Brattleboro today

Today we have an LTC meeting in the small conference room from 10am-11am. There are no other conference room bookings.

As for tomorrow--
July 12th happens to be the birthday of Julius Caesar, George Washington Carver, and Bill Cosby (born in 100 BC, 1864, & 1937, respectively) So what this means is: Saturday is an excellent day to enjoy a peanut butter sandwich, with a nice Caesar salad on the side, and finish it off with a delicious Jello pudding pop. Hey, I know it doesn’t quite match the excitement of last weekend’s fireworks & revelry, but it’s a decent enough afternoon.

Well, I do hope you all have a grand weekend, whatever lunch choices you make…

Sandra Lemire
Office Specialist
VNA& Hospice of VT & NH
66 Benning St Ste 6
W Lebanon NH 03784
ph# 603-298-8399
fax#603-298-0407

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Probably it sounds silly to enjoy something so minor as doling out a daily ration o' foolishness, but I do dig it.



I wanted to buy one of these thingies (it's only 30 somethin' $$ for the exact same thing on Office Max. com..believe it or not. However, I can't locate the item at all when not logged on to our OM account. Bizarre.) I send out a mass mailing everyday. Well, I don't know how many outgoing letters officially constitute a "mass mailing" , but I send out--at the very least--20letters a day . Usually more. And I seal every envelope with 2 pcs of scotch tape. I'm surely not gonna lick that many envelopes. I have a glue stick, but that makes an awful mess. I find that on almost all letters I get in that have their envelopes sealed thusly, the letter gets glued
to the envelope and I wind up ripping the f-er.

Now it occured to me the other day, in an amusing daydream, what would be the most cost effective method for this. I mean, I must go through a roll of scotch tape a week!! That's some MIGHTY tape consumption, especially considering that I don't remember ever changing the tape in my dispenser in all the 5 yrs I was at TDC. Though then again, why would I retain such a memory?? Tape replacement is hardly compelling (even if I've been yammering on & on & on about it... really, I feel like I've written PAGES of this shit. I'm just as bored as you are!! I continue on purely for the sake of finishing up what I started.) Anyways, I thought the most affordable solution would be for me to prop open the door with our wrought iron umbrella stand-cum-doorstop and start singing piercing arias a la Snow White and mesmerize all woodland creatures in the immediate vicinity to come help me with my mailing. For sure they could lick the envelopes for me. Perhaps they could even fold and stuff. Obviously any addresses would have to be written by yours truly, but many of our orders go out in window envelopes (no addressing req'd) so a chipmunk could probably prep a good 50% of the mail without any additional assistance from me.



Ultimately,I decided to go with something slightly more expensive than the woodland creature minions route and bought one of these--

Anyways, I hate to be a broken record, but it will be sad to leave this job...where I am universally adored and am able to fulfill my every office products desire...

I'm dwelling on this because I have reason to believe I might just snag this job (4th time's the charm, I 'spose) Greg told me (on the DL) that Anita (TDC HR Dept) just gave me a glowing reference this past Thurs. So, if they're bothering to check into my references, then I guess it's safe to presume they didn't write me off immediately post-interview. So I'm allowing myself a li'l swell of hope but still not "getting my hopes up." After all,they could be checking several applicants' references, right?? They probably are...

How pitiful...

My coworker Julie came upon me in the kitchen as I was desperately shaking our P.O.S. vending machine and growling “Don’t you f****ing do this to me. I need some chocolate!!” Yep, you guessed it—the Raisinets I’d just shilled out 85 cents for were caught in the dispensing springy-thingie. I really am trying to make wise food decisions, but my Lean Cuisine lunch was both miniscule and heinous and my palate required some sort of compensation. So I compromised , ‘kay? Raisinets have raisins in ‘em (it’s aFACT. File that under “ya learn somethin’ new everydamnday”) And—bonus points—these were dark chocolate raisinets. Which means I was countering the naughty excess fat & cal with BEAUCOUP ANTIOXIDANTS, baby!!
Anyways, I was shaking the hell out of said machine, resisting the urge to grab it by the top rear corners and shake it while stepping one foot into the swingy door of it because I realize that that’s how people wind up crushed under vending machines and yet I also suspect that if you escape a crushing, it is the most effective way to retrieve one’s stuck Raisinets. * Julie came in and bought Raisinets, solely for the purpose of dislodging mine, and she didn’t even want Raisinets (she afterwards bought some chips for herself) and then gave me the 2nd bag of Raisinets. Consequently, I was just beside myself with gratitude, really nauseatingly profuse about it, and in my stammerings said “Oh gosh, THANK YOU. You just made my weekend!!”

So. I ask yous-- how pathetic is my upcoming weekend that a free bag of Raisinets *made* my weekend?? And really – I got babysitting and cleaning my car on the itinerary—I was not exaggerating much.

why's e'rybody so down on friendship,eh?

This made me chuckle... as it reminded me why I really aim to limit my reality TV intake. Y'know, occasionally, I'll happen to catch a minute of one o' these shows and it'll occur to me that 90% of reality TV is horribly cliched crapola*. I'm just pleased that some montage-meister took the time and effort to prove that hypothesis.

*of course that elite 10% is reserved for the few *classy*reality shows I do watch-- Life on the D-list, or Project Runway, for instance

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Oh, and I have to share the Funny or Die poster's witty quip of a caption they posted w/ this vid-- "Alright, we get it, you don't go on reality TV to make friends. You're on Reality TV to prove what a douche/dunce/turd/fame whore you are. "

Haaaa!!

a short recap of my long weekend

If I can manage brevity. Let's go...

Friday : went with my mum & dad to buy fireworks. We bought from this friend of the family who has this big log cabin out in the wilds of Corinth VT. Totally gorgeous piece of land, but that family is wanting to sell & move to Kentucky. I do think it's a shame, but at the same time understand where they're coming from. They pay about 10X more $$ in property tax in VT. And it goes beyond taxes...the northeast is just a pricey place to live in general. Anyways I digress (fuck brevity, right?) they pick up these fireworks on the way back from KY in May and sell them when they get back home. I was suprised that in the short time we were there (1 1/2 hrs approx) they had 4 other customers pop in . I think they do big business. I mean it's not like they're on Main St...they're pretty well off the grid. It was mentioned that K drops 6 or 7 k on fireworks (though who knows if his father --who mentioned that--can be trusted for accurate info). I wonder what kind of profit he makes. He *must* make a profit. You don't spend that much on fireworks just because you're SUCH a Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Oh, Friday night we were going to get lobsters because Price Chopper had this sign out advertising "$6.99 per lb lobsters!!" But it was just a clever ruse-- their gargantuan 20 pounders were $6.99 per lb. but the normal lobsters were $9. per lb. I proposed getting tilapia instead. I dig tilapia, but had never cooked it. I scrounged up a recipe for Tilapia al Ajillo, which mainly appealed to me because it was not overly encrusted. I mean, I've had breaded tilapia and parmesan crusted tilapia before and enjoyed it, but I wanted a light summery meal. And tilapia is such a light fish...I didn't wanna overwhelm it, y'know. That recipe seemed ridiculously simple, and I didn't even have the fresh lemon (or even a little plastic squeezie lemon of lemon juice) it calls for. I thought it was going to come out very blandly. But it was MUY MUCHO DELICIOSO! I hate to brag but.. I cooked the shit out of that fish!! And I adlibbed a tomato-basil vinagrette-mozzarella salad.

After dinner we went to my cousin's casa for a bonfire.

Saturday-- Fourth of July party @ my sister's house. I made a tortellini salad (with grape tomatoes...forgetting entirely that tomatoes are making people nationwide..uhhhh.. projectile vomit? break out in hives? I'm not sure. Obviously I'm only 1/2 paying attention to the news. But I am aware --even if I temporarily forgot-- that people these days are afraid of tomatoes for some reason or another and it's not that Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie either.*) and monkey cereal bars.

We set off the fireworks shortly after 9. There was a group of spectators sitting on this hill, then a gap of about 4 or 5 feet, and then a row of chairs at the edge of the driveway (I was in the row, approx in the middle) One of the fireworks (in the grand finale, as it happens) tipped over after being lit and shot right into the crowd. It zwoooshed through (that's right..it zwooshed) the gap between the 2 crowd sections at a height of about 6 ft. A very dramatic finish (unintentionally so...I think) to a mediocre fireworks show. We were all pretty spry sitting there in the row, but I think I mighta set the landspeed record for springing out of a camp chair. We were all in hysterics for a while...and by "in hysterics" I mean laughing, which is probably a good indication that we all had considerable buzzes goin'. Although, I don't think my cousin's wife Vicki was laughing all that much. Her hair got singed. Just a smidgen singed. They left shortly thereafter, ostensibly to put their kids to bed, but it woulda been understandable if V was fleeing in fear of further (more serious) personal injury.

Sunday-- went to Keene (there dwells my nearest Target...oh how I love thee ..not to mention a swell Borders in the very same plaza) spent $$ that I shouldn't have.

*longest parenthetical note ever? You decide!!

work blather

Seems indelicate to shift suddenly back to trivialities, but that is my specialty, so heeeere we go..
I use this thing (the 30526 model) daily at work and have grown inordinately fond of it. It's practically become like Milton's stapler to me, y'know? I can't believe that , in all my years of cubicle dwelling I've never come across an A>Z sorter such as this. Such a simple little dealie but so very handy!

Ah yes, I did have my interview at DHMC. I felt like it went quite well . I was feeling good coming outta there, thinking it went quite well as previously opined...but then I was reconsidering in the car and.. this is my FOURTH interview at DHMC. I'd thought they ALL went well. Ultimately I was vetoed for 2 of those jobs (and I still have one stuck in limbo...turns out that dept was slapped with a sudden hiring freeze due to budgetary constraints) In fact there was only one interview I came out of with a resounding sense of--"well I botched that one in good shape!!" I had strep , but went to the interview just the same, feeling drained and lousy, and I thought I stammered stupidly through the whole thing. Afterwards, I had to listen to Robin excitedly gush about how she had a really good feeling about the interview she just had that day (which was with DHMC Radiology...which she ultimately got) and I was very bitter about it. Well, as it happens, that lousy failure of an interview was with the VNA . So either the applicant pool vying for my present job was utterly AWFUL ('tis possible) or my perception of how I come across is really skewed (quite possible)

One question they asked Tuesday that invariably trips me up: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Perhaps interviewers can smell that that is my Achilles heel question, because they NEVER fail to ask me that.

What I answered: I said, (paraphrasing here)"To tell the truth, I don't know. I got a degree based on what my strengths are, but I didn't have a career in mind and I'm still trying to find my niche in life. And times are such that...I think it's hard for anyone to have a five year plan. I barely have a next week plan" Which, reading a paraphrased transcript, well it doesn't sound too awful, but to be accurate,I should also note that there was a good deal of nervous laughter interposed in there somewheres and I nervously kept saying "to be honest" and "truthfully" and "really" Consequently the interviewers response to aforesaid schpiel was basically just said she appreciated my candor. Oy vey. That's never good!! (otherwise I thought it went swimmingly)


In my fantasy job interview this is how I would answer "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

{puts fingertips on temples and squishes eyes shut, as if in clairvoyant trance} On July 2nd, 2013, I will be in Kmart. I go there to buy Diet Coke, but their price on the 24 packs isn't all that great. I wind up buying a magenta plastic flyswatter, InStyle magazine, and a box of Chicken-in-a-Biscuit crackers.

Sick & Evil

Perhaps you've read something about the Amber Alert case that's been all over the news in VT, well I should say EX-Amber Alert. Tragically, the alert was called off today (latest news here).

Y'know I have always felt so safe in VT. Well never entirely safe, I can only say relatively safe. Then a story comes along like this and reminds you that you really can't presume safety anywhere. I suppose VT does have a smaller population of psychotics and sick fucks, but it's probably just in relation to it being of smaller area, hence smaller general populace. But we still have our allotment. Cases like this one make that shockingly obvious.



Now it's not only that this news eroded some misconception I had of VT as some bucolic safe haven, but it's also stunning in that I actually worked with this Mike Jacques creep. Well, I don't want to overstate things, I didn't really have any dealings with the guy, he was in another dept, waaay in another wing of the building and I rarely saw the guy. This was at Thermal Dynamics, I should probably clarify. My bro-in-law, Greg, is operations manager at Thermal and he does work closely with Jacques ("did", rather...undoubtedly Jacques has been fired). He had gone on business trips with the guy, in fact, was slated to travel to Kentucky with him this month. He (Greg) said the whole thing makes him sick. I can understand .. probably they held many a conference in Greg's office --which is plastered with all these pictures of his kids. That queasiness is damned understandable.

ha

One of my daily chores in my new job is mailing out doctors' orders. One of the docs I regularly mail to is a Dr Rosen. And it never fails to make me chuckle (as I stuff his envelope..and we are NOT speaking euphemistically here) that name... it will always remind me of this scene--




Speaking of jobs, I am cutting out early tomorrow for a job interview at DHMC. This one would be in Robin's dept. They had some openings they've been trying to fill for a while and in their weekly meeting her boss said to the group"If you know anyone who might be suitable get ahold of them, get their resume." R called me Friday afternoon (last Fri..when I was in York) Monday morning I got my updated resume to her. Had the interview scheduled by last Thurs. I had to get a few hours off but didn't let on what it was for. No one asked and I will NOT be volunteering that info. I feel so underhanded though.

I have mixed feelings about this whole thing...


One of the things that vexed me most about not getting the job in the pediatric dept (and being left to languish in don't-call-us-we'll-call-you limbo on that other DHMC gig I interviewed for) is that Robin seemed to get her radiology job with the greatest of ease. I know, I know, I'm petty. I'm a bad friend. No, hold up, I'm a HORRID friend because I kept thinking, "WTF Gives? I'm every bit as smart as Robin..." Even worse, really, "smart as" wasn't running through my head"smarter" is what I was really thinking. I didn't want to own up to what a mega-bitch I am, but I just can't lie to youse guys. Anyways, now Robin is being kind & sweet (that's just her nature..it's a wonder we're friends) and offering me a helping hand and...it kind of rankles me in a way. I'm thinking... it's like table scraps. It's rubbing salt in my gaping pride-wound. And not table salt...granules being somewhere between margarita glass rim salt and the big chunky salt like the DPW scatters on the roads in January.

If I were to get a DHMC job, it would be really tough to quit my VNA job. I keep waiting for everyone to drop the super-nice act and shift into regular gear, but the super niceness persists. I keep getting people saying "You're doing such a great job!!" and emails with "We are so fortunate to have you!"

I wonder, if I were to get an offer from DHMC for a better paying job, if I could simply use it as a bargaining chip to get more money from the VNA. It might not be a bad thing to get a little tenure there. And I really do like my job. The $$$ factor is the only negative aspect.

Yet I'm undecided...if I just bargain for better $$ @ the current job, would that forever close the door on DHMC? I'd hate to do that.. Also, would getting a job--partly on Robin's recommendation-- and then turning it down--would that be a slap in the face to Robin??

Enough of this issue... I'm getting waaaay ahead of myself. If this interview goes anything like my last 4, it's a nonissue, really. I'm just going to look slammin' tomorrow and try to do a boff-socko job. Oh gosh, I just gave myself another movie flashback...

(Boffo-Socko Kermit)

Sorry I couldn't find a clip. Believe me, I tried!! The pic was hard enough to track down....

DAAANG! I had trouble doing bullet points. It mighta been easier to just think up some segues, try to transform that mess into a cohesive post...

quick trivial notes

I can’t be bothered with segues today. I’m posting on the sly. I think bullet points would suit…

*A food kick I’m on that I neglected to mention…toasted coconut marshmallows. At present I am polishing off the bag I’ve kept in my desk drawer for a week or so

*I’m wearing some gold bangles (set of 3) that I got at the Old Navy in Kittery. Even though I only really like the design on one of ‘em, I find that I am rather enjoying (for some odd reason) the tinkly-clangy sound they’re making as I move about today.

*I stayed up too late last night watching Places in the Heart. I find I am really dazzled by this Movies-on-Demand feature that my folks now get since switching to Comcast. I intend only to confess this to youse guys. If ever you heard my Dad gloat over a new toy (sooo tiresome) you’d know why I’m keeping my appreciation on the “D.L.” I had thought it was just Pay-per-view with the added magic of DVR technology, but was pleasantly surprised to see they offer up a slew of FREE movies. I love free stuff. I know it’s not uncommon to love free stuff but I mean it…I love free stuff more than anybody else does. As my Lucy would say, “I love it a lot and a lot and A LOT!” Ahh well, it’s considerably more adorable when she says it than when I type it. Anyways, I was already pleasantly surprised to find that lots of the On Demand flicks are gratis, but was extra SUPER pleasantly surprised to discover that there were lotsa good movies offered for free. I’ve got my eye on Flash Gordon (have been wanting to see that one for a while now. It’s one of only a couple notable entries in the Sam Jones filmography…the other being My Chaffeur a cheese-tacular fave of mine) but last night I was surprisingly NOT in the mood for camp. Instead, I was wanting to watch something heartwarming. If you’ve not seen Places in the Heart , I recommend it. It really hits the spot when you’re hankering for poignant, triumph-of-the-human-spirit type fare.

*Right now I’m reading Wilkie Collins’s “The Woman in White” It’s pretty good. Hey, it must be pretty good if it spawned a Broadway play and a movie (not in that order). Once I finish this up, I’m going have to see one or the other. As I see a play about once every 3 yrs (if that, sadly) then it’s apt to be the latter.

I'm also hooked on . ..

Archer Farms Multigrain Cereal. It's my current fave a.m. bowl-fillah. Good on its own and REEEAALLY delish with blueberries added.

candy kick...

I'm a bit obsessed with this stuff right now. I've yet to try the peach-mango, but the other 2 flavors are magnifico!!

Grrrrreat!

Y'know what I said a few posts back about the joys of a peeling sunburn?? Well, I should further specify that I am NOT too keen on such dermal shedding when it's goin' on on MY FACE. From afar, my face has this nice, sun-kissed hue (that goes well with my new darker hair...dyed it last Thursday night) but peering at it up close you can see my face has the same white crackle finish you see on the surface of A FROSTED FLAKE.

So York was lotsa fun. We stayed at the Anchorage, which was fine, aside from a sorta low, dingy-looking ceiling in our room. Oh, and no free breakfast. What kinda lousy hotel doesn't supply you with free breakfast?? But whatev.. there were 2 pools and the location was just ideal.

Here's a recommendation... when you're at Short Sands (by the way, I think this, my 9000th trip to York, is the one where I've at last correctly established in my brain which beach is Long Sands & which is Short Sands) have lunch at the pub at the Union Bluff Hotel. The food was delish and not overly pricey, plus you have a great view of Short Sands without being in the midst of all the hubbub. The dude one table over from us was an unbelievable douchebag, but probably the guy's not there all the time (has probably since returned home to MA) so I recommend the establishment most heartily.

Also scored a cheap (but cute!) souvenir hoodie and a foxy pair of flip flops (they're plaid).

Even though the a.m. weather was sorta questionable, Saturday wound up being pretty nice and we were able to get in about 3 hrs of beach QT. Then Saturday night we took a bus into Ogunquit. We all got drunk, but didn't synchronize it right, so everybody hit their peak buzz at different times. I was the poor schmoe to hit peak last. We'd gotten a taxi back to the Anchorage, Katrina was nodding off over her book, Laura was snuggled up with Sudoku, and I'm all "We're walking to the Union Bluff for a nightcap! Huh? C'mon! I could walk but we'll take the trolley if you guys want! Is the trolley still running? Let's go! C'mon guys! Helloooo?" Needless to say there was no afterparty at the U-Bluff. I had to settle for painting my toenails. Granted, I painted 'em a dazzlingly lovely green that I am quite smitten with now, but it was a less than thrilling endeavor at the time.


Katrina was rather mortifying in Ogunquit. She was freaked out by the ubiquitous homosexuality. It didn't bother me in the slightest, and though I found her attitude foolish and backward, I am usually content to leave people to their own (well-rooted) opinions. I don't consider myself some great opener of closed minds... no doubt this is due to my non-confrontational nature. What actually was mortifying was her LOUD vocalization of her views. I was actually relieved that my super high heels permitted me from keeping pace with L & K. I think even if I'd worn sensible shoes, I would have kept a good distance away from them (well, K anyways. My sister was fine)

I instigated Katrina by telling her my dream of bringing a gay guy into my posse of friends. I have all the makings of fabulosity, but a gay guy friend would be a big step toward fully attaining it (fabulosity, that is). I mentioned it just to instigate K, but I was half serious about it, really. I mean, it's really nice how they just compliment freely without the aid of gunpoint coercion. I mean, maybe praise that's so frequent is less apt to be sincere, but I suppose that's okay too. I certainly value sincerity, yet at the same time, I have never been one to turn up my nose at empty flattery.

Uber Glam

Tonight I had intended to write a li'l recap of my mini-vaca in York (super-abridged version: it was fun) but I got sidetracked so I'll hafta defer the details 'til the next episode. Specifically,I was sidetracked by this website, poring over the actresses' bio pages. How amazingly glamorous were these dames? So lovely..

Maybe I should take in some silent movies. I used to have Metropolis on VHS but it's been aaages since I've watched it....

my first half day

I'm getting out @ noon today. Going to York to spend the weekend here.
Ciao babies...

Culinary coup

I went to a party on Saturday and brought with me beer (of course!) and num-nums of my own cheffery..(that came out weird..you catch-a mah drift though, eh??) I made “Cheesy Party Pinwheels” and Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble. Everything came out maaaahvelously.
I didn’t know how much rhubarb to buy to yield the 3cups required by my recipe (same w/ the strawberries) so I ended up over-buying on both strawberries & rhubarb and so I made a strawberry rhubarb pie on Sunday. That came out pretty well (although the crumble was better).

My week old sunburn is now peeling. I'm going to be a bit gross and quite bizarro (but totally honest) by confessing that I enjoy post sunburn molting. I don't know why. Why do I like harvesting dryer lint off the screen from the dryer? I've no clue why but I sure as hell do. It goes into that "Inexplicably Gratifying" file with bubble wrap and Right Said Fred.

Sunburn peeling is just like in grade school when you used to slather Elmer's white glue on your hand just to peel it off ..except, y'know, with more risk of skin cancer. Aww, c'mon, don't tell me I'm the only one to have done the Elmer's glue thing??

Grrrr!

I find I am rather vexed. When I called Monday a.m. about my paycheck crisis, the payroll dude (and he did, in fact, sounded like a “dude” and far too young to be in charge of doling out the moolah!!) asked me: “Do you want the new check mailed to your house or do you want me to send it to the office via courier??” And I said “Oh please send it to the office w/ the courier” which, I know he heard properly, because he answered my answer with “Ok, I’ll send it by courier”
Now, I’ve waited patiently, taking into consideration that they do use ADP and aren’t, I don’t suppose, printing out checks in the basement. This a.m. I thought a li’l bit of follow up was in order and I emailed payroll dude: “just wondering…might that check re-issue show up with today’s courier? Again, thanks SO much for your help with this!” (that was my email verbatim ) And I very quickly get the reply: “It was sent in the mail on Monday. You should hopefully get it today at your home.”

I reiterate: GRRRRrrrr!

Good news is -- once I get the mail today I should be back in black. Well, back in blackish...

highlights of this past fin de semana

Well, first off, I lost my paycheck on Friday. Perhaps I shouldn't mention that under the "weekend highlights" heading, but it was certainly a memorable part of my weekend. Aforesaid paycheck was handed to me on Thursday and I looked at it and said to meself "Wooah..this is a CHECK, not just a stub. Gotta put this where I won't lose it" I did put in for Direct Deposit, mind you, but that apparently doesn't kick in until pay cycle dos. Anyways, resolving to oneself "I'm going to put this somewheres where I shan't lose it" virtually guarantees that you're gonna lose the mo' fo. I shoulda never thought that thought. But it didn't then occur to me that I'd just jinxed my ass and I remember slipping the check into the front pocket of my purse. If I had gone to cash it that afternoon I probably woulda been golden (grahams) , but no, I held off until Friday. Then Fri, as soon as I got outta work, I headed right to my bank. It wasn’t until I had my purse hoisted up on the “prep island” in the bank lobby that I realized my check was MIA. I ransacked my purse 3 times (twice right there in the lobby, which was rather embarrassing) , searched my car and then I even went back to work to see if it was under my desk (in the area where I stow my purse). NO DICE. I had to call payroll this a.m. to get a stop-payment & reissue.
Saturday… what does one do with their weekend when they are virtually penniless?? Well, on Sat, I went to my parents’ house and I’d intended to lay outside, catch some rays, read my book, and listen to my iPod (this is the book I’m currently reading) but my dad’s Saturday plan was to mow the lawn and I woulda felt mucho guilt if I lay like a sun-absorbing lump and read while my 70 yr old father mowed the lawn. So, I mowed the lawn and after a bit, my parents headed out shopping. This was good, because it’s my opinion that the most strenuous part of mowing does not stem from the physical exertion or blazing heat but rather from my father inspecting the job I do as I do it and pointing out where I f*cked up. So I gave them a list of stuff to get at the store and when they returned with my requested ingredients, I left off mowing for cooking (waay more my forte) and for dinner I improvised a veggie rotini creamy garlic pasta that was MAGNIFICO. I especially impressed myself since I had no recipe and totally adlibbed it. I know I’m being immodestly self-congratulatory about it, but I gotta be. Chances are, I’ll never be able to successfully duplicate it. Gotta pat myself on the back now or never, y’know??
Sunday I went to Lake Sunapee with Laura and ¾ of the muffins (Chloe opted to hang out with my parents instead) I had a nice day (got in that reading and vegetating that I’d been after the day before) other than this awful sunburn I got on my legs. I was not completely irresponsible, I should mention. I actually put 30 spf spray sunscreen on the moment we got there . However, I rolled up my to-the-knee length shorts (Bermuda length? Would those be “Bermuda shorts”? I’m not sure…) when I waded into the water and then I didn’t roll ‘em back down when I went back to lounging in the sun. So my sunburn is contained to just the top of my thigh, but ‘tis a nasty one just the same.

Everybody in the office has been grousing about this hot weather, but I rather like it. I don’t look like I’d be a fan of hot weather, but I actually am. I mean, I don’t even think it hot enough for swimming until we get into high 80s territory..but then on those days, how totally blissful is a swim (I say “swim” but it’s not like I swim laps or anything. I’m more apt to float on my back like…ohhh… I dunno... an otter, maybe? I think otters do that…when they’re not rehearsing with their jug bands, that is) I don’t think we get nearly enough of that full-on summery summer weather in VT.

bizarro news item

She truly IS a Wonder Woman!! I wonder if they used her legendary lasso for corpse-hoisting??

oopsie..

I left out one very rad purchase. I am bringing my lunch to work regularly now (I now only have 30 minutes--did I tell you that? I'm still adjusting to that--ehh. Anyways... with only 30 min if you drive very far to procure eats, with the traffic we get here on 12A, you've hardly got anytime to eat 'em by the time you get back here) anyways I have this cute cooler that I found at Target last month, but I wanted a little variety in my lunch transport receptacles, so I bought me this li'l beauty

News of the Banal & Superficial Variety..

Oh yes, I’m going to regale you with last night’s shopping exploits. If you don’t have a hat to hold on to, get ahold of your socks lest they be knocked off. If perchance, you are going hatless and shoeless today, then you should be just fine…

My first stop was Newbury Comics . I used to get the Newbury Comics newsletter emailed to my work email (@ the old job) but now I am not getting the newsletter, and I don’t miss the coupons or anything or all the yammerin’ about new releases but I miss knowing about what's up for grabs in the way of free pint glasses. Now THAT is a nuisance--- to have to actually ask. Anyways, at Newbury I almost bought this funny gift box, but ultimately decided that $5 was too much for me to shill out for a novelty gift box. Although it still does amuse me. I probably woulda bought it had it not been for the fact that I had an armload of frivolous purchases and somethin' had to be cut. I ended up buying bobby pins with cute li'l animal embellishments, and the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's (decided it's nuts that I don't own that already) and Volume 5 of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K to geeks in the know)

After that, I strolled over to TJ Maxx. Laura had told me they were undergoing renovations but WOOOOAH doggy!! I was mucho impressed-o! I hadn't realized that my local TJ Maxx was such a wretched dump until it got a fabulous makeover. I guess I just loved her too much to take note of her flaws. Yes, TJ Maxx is a girl . You didn't know that? The TJ stands for Theresa Jane. EVERYBODY knows that, fool...

One of TJ's myriad improvements is a totally rennovated dressing room. In the dressing room, the hall has mirrors all the way down it, yet the individual stalls don't have mirrors in them at all. At first I thought-- well that sucks: you have to come out and twirl& parade in front of all the other shopping schlubs... On the other hand, there are a few advantages to that set-up. I mean, sometimes you'll try on something and you know it looks horrid, you can just feel it clinging to your person in an unbecoming manner. So in these instances, you don't really need to check yourself out in a mirror to know that you're not going to be buying that blouse/sweater/whatev. You might not really want to check yourself out in the mirror, for that matter...

Also, the mirrorless stalls eliminate those shocking moments of "BWWAAAGH!" when you're standing, pantless, and fussing over getting an item back onto the hanger just so and you chance to glimpse your ass in the mirror. ..

I find myself wanting to procure some aviator shades. (pardon my utter lack of segue, kids) I've been on a bit of a sunglasses-purchasing binge since getting contacts, but of the 4 pairs I have (4 pairs is not waaay excessive, right??) I don't have any aviator style. And that style is kinda cool and badass and although they usually don't look very good on me, there was a gold pair at TJ that actually looked pretty fly. But they had a bent bow, so I couldn't bring myself to buy 'em. Heeeyy..just found that I could order aviators off this site for a meager $250. Jinkies, it's a bit kooky to pay $250 for shades but it's UTTER MADNESS to pay that much and order 'em online where you can't even try them on first!! What I did buy was some clothes for work-- a green jacket (only $7 on clearance) a brown shirt and a black& white striped tee (which, paired with a cape & hamburger motif necktie, would achieve an exquisite look methinks ...)also these shoes. I was admiring their wondrous variety of flip-flops because..OH how I love flip flops.. but I bought the wedges instead, because I've been wanting, lately, to amass shoes w/ some heel height. I just had this epiphany where I realized. . . I'm (*$#%ing short. Plus, heels make your calves look foxy if you are wearing a skirt or capris. And I've been wanting to kinda dress up for work lately (it's a new job...I'm sure that impulse will fade away any day now) So that's been my purchasing kick these days: buying heels and/or dresses.

Only a month until the 4th of July!! It occurred to me this a.m. when I was date-stamping some papers (stamping incoming doc orders is one of the menial, mindless tasks of the new gig and I am finding it oddly gratifying) and it made me do an internal happy jig (as I absolutely LOVE the 4th) and also resolve that my July 4 weekend this year be ultra-festive and activity-packed...

Father's Day shopping

About 4 this afternoon there was sort of a lull in activity and (*miraculously*) nobody hovering about my desk, and so I hazarded a little online shopping.

I had spotted this in a tacky catalog that my folks get in the mail and decided it was a MUST for mi padre. He has this very gruff way of talking to waitstaff...well, I should specify, he is gruff with almost all waitstaff/ food service people with the exception of when he goes out to a sit-down family-style restaurant when there's a tip-grubbin' waitress who is sickeningly flirty. That subdues his usual gruffness. And I should also add, in his defense, I don't know if he realizes how crab-ass and brusque he comes off. I don't think it's a deliberate thing.

Anyways, when requesting his senior discount at a restaurant (oftentimes, KFC is the eatery in this scenario) my father in this heady thrill of entitlement, seems to think that he doesn't need to ask for this using an entire sentence. The exchange invariably goes somethin' like:

DAD: Yeah, could I please get a small coffee, a chicken pot pie, a number 4 and a small Pepsi .
FAST FOOD FLUNKY: Ok, that's one small coffee, a chicken pot pie, a number 4 and a small Pepsi. Will there be anything else??
DAD: No that's it {small pause} SENIOR, PLEASE.
FFF: I'm sorry, sir? What?
DAD: SENIOR , PLEASE.

Alright, so it's not the most fascinating bit o' dialogue, and probably not worth the digital exertion of typing it out. But really, I assure y'all, when you witness that, delivered by my father (in full gruff restaurant persona) it is truly wince-inducing. My transcript doesn't do it justice.

So I have ordered him that hat. I am hoping it will become his custom to order and then just point at his head-garb...which is rude, but still a slight improvement.

DIY high hopes

This is my dream gazebo. The ones you generally see are all prefab and waaay lattice worky and, well, I don't hate 'em but I find them blah and mediocre.
THIS is (ideally) what I'd like to construct at the parental casa (idyllic lake view not included). Although , for yours truly, even a 'zebo of the latticey mediocre variety would be an ambitious undertaking ...

I'll have the mashed cauliflower and a Slice,please

Tonight I went out for pizza and then I watched some mixed martial arts cage match-a-palooza dealie. This event, to be specific. Not my usual fare, but I actually got pretty into it. I didn't catch the chick fight, only Smith vs. Lawler & Slice vs. Thompson. It's astounding that these fighters don't wind up brain damaged. OK, well I suppose some of them do, but it really seems to me that ALL of them would. If not with brain damage, then with some paralyzing neck injury.

I guess I'm just warning my beloved readership that if any of 'em are considering the glamorous world of mixed martial arts (mma) then they need to contemplate that career change thoroughly and at great length. Because mma is not just scary, it's mucho DANGERMOUSE! Not to mention ouchy.

I was watching Scott Smith being interviewed post-fight and I was saying...there's something off about that left ear...isn't there? I never got a good look so I couldn't quite tell if he had some sort of deformity or just one run-of-the-mill floppy Dumbo ear. But with James "the Colossus" Thompson there was no uncertainty...dude had a ginormous cauliflower ear. I'd heard the term "cauliflower ear " before but had never actually beheld one before. It's not as charmingly whimsical as it sounds, lemme tell youse. It's GRODY. There you go--there you have a specific reason to pass on that career in mma, amigos. You could severely fuck up one or both of your ears. . .get a real unattractive Elephant Man sort of makeover to the aural region of your head.
And with James Thompson, it was really a shame. He gave this pre-fight interview, not a full-fledged interview, really, just a little schpiel about how he weren't afraid o' no Kimbo Slice (yes, that's right: KIMBO SLICE. Where will you be ranking that on your list of most wackadoo names ever? C'mon now, it's gotta be somewhere in the top 10...) and he was going to wreck him. It was a real quick little snippet, too quick for me to spot his fucked up ear but long enough for me to notice that Thompson has a thuggy UK accent that I find maaad hot. Well, he is from Manchester (Manchester, England, England...across the Atlantic Seeeeeaa..) And foxy accent aside, he is a handsome guy. But that ear. UGH! I was kinda fixated on it. It was especially repugnant when transmitted widescreen LCD hi-def splendor.

And guess how the fight ended? With Kimbo punching him in the cauliflower ear causing it to POP and gush blood. Apparently that counts as a TKO. I don't quite get why. Even with his ear all 'sploded and bloody, Thompson still had some fight in him. Hell, he lunged at the ref when the ref interceded to stop the fight.

I was bummed about the outcome. I wanted Colossus to win. I mean, man if he got that flesh gourd on the side of his head reconstructed to resemble a human ear again, well then, I would totally be his groupie. I could find nary a scrap of info about Thompson online. Kimbo Slice, on the other hand, is apparently a big fat overhyped deal. Tonight's fight was only his 3rd professional mma fight and yet he's easily the best known fighter in the sport. Doesn't seem fair, y'know? What the hell kind of name is that? It's sounds like a kooky tropical twist on my favorite lemon-lime soft drink (except that Slice would not be my favorite lemon-lime soft drink...I suspect that Fresca would. Generally, I tend to be more of a cola girl anyways. Hey, do they even sell Slice anymore??) This dude's real name (sez Wikipedia) is Kevin Ferguson, and sadly, his eccentric taste in names has been applied not just to his nom de guerre but also to his poor kids. Dude has 3 sons and 3 daughters. Shades of George Foreman-- 2 of his sons are named Kevin. You might guess his other son counts himself lucky but nooo,he probably dreams of being Kevin #3. Instead, he is named Kevlar. Yep. Like the vests. Oh, and one of his daughters is named Kevina. That's just horrid.
And don't even get me started on his hair....

DROUGHT RELIEF!!

Hey hey hey..sorry I've been so damned delinquent.


So..lemme see...what's new avec moi?? Hmmm...

Am wrapping up week 2 at my new job at the Visiting Nurses office .I am an "office specialist"...got me a badge that sez so. And uhh, basically, "specialist" is a tactful euphemism for "wench". My primary gig is receptionist, fielding the incoming calls, doing the mail, but I pretty much am the go-to wench for all things clerical for the whole office-- y'know, beaucoup filing and data entry, crap like that. I don't mind the work. I mean, in my ideal universe, there is no ideal work, as my massive independent wealthiness makes a career unnecessary. So if I must work, than this work is fine. The only shitty thing is the fact that I have quite a bit more work to do than I did in my last gig but I get paid around 12% less. I either have to do some belt tightening or find a 2nd job. UGH. I say "phooey" to both options.

But back to the "pros" of the situation -- everybody has been super nice. Of course, I have yet to determine if everybody is for real super nice or if I'm just getting the super nice treatment during a sort of rookie grace period. Oh, and let's not forget bennies..I tell ya--it's IMMENSELY reassuring to have health insurance again. My new hours are 8-4:30 (vs the 8:30-5:30 shift I used to have). No more hour lunches, but it seems like I get out super early. Of course, if I have to take on a 2nd job, all that extra evening time would be a moot "pro".

Alright, enough blathering about my job...onto the more fascinating world of trivial minutiae..

Because my folks are suddenly getting the Turner Classic Movies channel (I heart TCM. I get AMC..which is a-okay... but ultimately inferior) and because May has been Frank Sinatra appreciation month for some reason (possibly because sometime this May it will be 10 yr anniversary of his death?? That's nice, but sort of morbid. Why not comemorate his birthday?) I've been on a bit of a Frankie kick. Sure, he's been getting a good deal o' play on my iPod, but mostly I've just been wanting to catch his movies. The early stuff...prior to his From Here to Eternity comeback. He was a handsome fellah. I stayed up super late (3am) to watch Guys & Dolls when TCM aired it (even though I own the DVD) and also tuned into On the Town (even though I have that DVD too) And then I picked up Take Me Out to the Ballgame whilest shopping at BJ's (I'm a new member!) last week. And I'm intending to get my hands on Anchors Aweigh at sometime in the near future too.

Other movies I've watched lately... I rented Dan In Real Life off iTunes and really dug it. The central love story was decent enough, but it was really Steve Carell's character/acting that made the movie for me. I think he does funny-sad even better than Jim Carrey does. Don't get me wrong... I'm looking forward to seeing him in Get Smart, but I still think it would behoove him to do more "dramedies". At the same time I rented that I also rented Southland Tales. Now, THAT movie is the ideal movie to rent if you enjoy continually uttering "whaaaat tha FUCK?" to yourself (I know, seems kinda like an odd hobby, but is it ? there's a world of wackadoo fetishes out there, and a "WTF mantra fetish" certainly wouldn't be the oddest of 'em.) The only thing I really enjoyed about the movie was how ginormous and varied the ensemble cast was, you know,having someone like Revenge of the Nerds' Booger surprisingly popping onscreen and you have that warm fuzzy moment of "Awww, it's great to see he's still getting work, that dude!" There were a lot of those moments in Southland Tales. Also, it's always nice to ogle Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson ( I tried- I really tried-- to extricate the "The Rock" from the middle of his name but I couldn't do it...I felt like if I gushed "it's always nice to ogle Dwayne Johnson" you could SO easily think I was ogling some anonymous dweeb just 'cause the name DWAYNE JOHNSON so reeks of anonymous dweebishness, y'know?) Otherwise the movie was a total migraine-inducer.

I'm really terribly, shamefully lax about picking up my mail but I did on Monday night (this is mostly because I knew I had new auto insurance cards coming to me) and I got this Victorian Trading Co. catalog that is chock full of stuff I dig. I don't love *all* things Victorian, I mean, some of the stuff was overly rose-adorned for my liking and I'd pass on any of the angel paraphenalia, also, seriously, dolls from that era gimme the heebie jeebies. If there was a flag for Creepytown, there would be some sort of emblem on it that featured a porcelain doll. ( As I'm sure you know Creepytown is merely an unincorporated hamlet at this point in time...so no flag needed. But heeey, if your town ever becomes in need of a flag, Mayor Freakshow, have I got a design pitch for you!) But rosy, angelic, doll-related crap aside, there really is a lot of primo merchandise in the Victorian Trading Co. catalog. Really, I spent 2 lunch breaks poring over it and marking little stars next to my faves. (Check here if you don't believe me. Like,how dope would it be to have this hammock, for instance? Also I was showing my parents this set that I enjoy. It's in the exact same rustic/ sorta Adirondack-ish style that I want their gazebo to be. The gazebo I'm going to build this summer...ha ha haa. Just watch...)
I really don't need a damn thing but I want so much...my capacity for materialism is ASTOUNDING.

Okay...brief culinary reviews and then I must wrap it up.

Last night at the co-op I bought some really delish apricot-glazed salmon for dinner and an icky samosa (which might have been an OK samosa, had I bothered to heat it up but I didn't) and then I bought Peanut Butter Puffins cereal (YUM- I highly recommend) and Ritter chocolate with CORNFLAKES in it (BRRRRRILLIANT!! I love me a bit of texture with my choco-fix and the flakey crunch avec milk chocolate is perfect)
Also getting my thumbs up is the Southern style chicken sami new @ McDonalds. It's so good that I don't even mind that it's totally sans condiments. Is that what makes it southern style I wonder? An old timey recipe from the deep South where it's too damn hot to keep mayo...even in the fridge... Anyways, even with lack of mayo it's good. But DO NOT try the sweet tea at Mc Ds... I don't know if it's faithful to the quaff that southerners refer to when they rave about their fabled, beloved "sweet tea" but I do know that it was totally vile. Just using the modifier "sweet" is a gross understatement. I would compare it to sugar water except the sugar isn't watered down in the slightest. Liquified sucrose is more like it. BLECCCCH!
I also tried some Cabot Greek style yogurt that was really excellent. I belatedly checked the nutrition facts (why check at all? No need! Yogurt's just innately good for ya, active cultures and all that happy [healthy] horseshit) ,when I was about 3/4 of the way through with my cup. 14 grams of fat!! No wonder it was so damn tasty! As much as I liked it, I do NOT intend to get any more. ('cause, like, how nightmarish would it be for my new willow chairs to snap under my weight! NOOO!)

speaking of vacations...

Britney Spears is vacationing with the Gibson clan. It's a tough call, but I think the numero uno wackadoo in this situation is MRS. Gibson. Not only did she marry Mel Gibson ( okay, so I concur that, in his day, Mel was some primo eye candy...but you'd think she might have bailed on the union, oh I dunno, anytime post-Braveheart would've been good) but she bore him SEVEN children. Yeah ..that's right...SEVEN. And now it looks like she and the hubby are gearing up to adopt one more and--BONUS-- it's not just any poor waif of an orphan but Britney "perennial trainwreck" Spears. What the HELL ails you Mrs. Mel?

Well, just the same...have a happy vaca... I guess. Um, send me a postcard, a'ight?

in the summertime, when all the trees and leaves are green

Lately , I have been on a few evening walks (all my time is *^%$#ing leisure time nowadays, y'know) and the balmy night air and the smells of the flowering trees in bloom have left me in a very-stoked-for-summer kinda mood.

Don't know if I've mentioned it before (odds are good, considering how prone to repeating myself I am) but I've always thought that the ideal summer vaca just might be at a place like Kellerman's in Dirty Dancing. I say might be, as I really haven't been on such a vacation, but it always looked pretty idyllic. Yeah, I KNOW what you're thinking, and it's SOO not the horizontal pachanga with the inimitable Johnny Castle that appealed to me. And I wasn't brainwashed by the song into believing it would be "the time of my life". It's just the whole setting that seems ideal to me. I love the communing with nature part of camping,but, for an extended period of time that can get to be deadly dull. After 2 or 3 days you can't deny the fact that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO. But at this type of resort, I think (if I am not mistaken) you have your beautiful lake and your lovely forests, but also there are ceramics classes to be taken or ,I dunno, horseshoe tournaments on the east lawn. Fabulous, no? So, in addition to planned activities (which I think could be invaluable to a vaca...I mean, how GREAT-- to be spared the mental exhaustion of that "what am I gonna do to entertain myself ??" debate-- which is such a bitch ,especially when on vaca) in addition to that, you also have a social aspect to the whole thing. And gee, *I* think it's swell to meet new people. Overall, I am a people-person--really, I am!-- even if I don't always act like I am. So yeah, at the very least it's nice to meet new people. Or at the very best (case scenario) you just might end up doing the horizontal pachanga with someone. Wooot wooo!

Some of the Dirty Dancing scenes were shot at this resort in VA. Whaddya think,gang?? Should I save up me sheckles and go there? Who's with me?

I hopped online to check my email (nada extraordinary) but then got sidetracked by my sometimes fixation of seeking out info on LUMS restaurants. Can't say exactly why I have such a thing for Lums...probably it breaks down to 45% nostalgia and 55% my enjoying the sound of the word. Lums.. LUMS ...say it with me: LUMMMMS. Don't deny it...there's some delightful euphony in that one li'l syllable.

I remember...waaay waay back in the day, there was a Lums in every sizeable VT city. And then, in the late 80s or thereabouts they just died out. And I had presumed the franchise had just vanished off the face of the earth entirely (or, if I may borrow a Lucy-ism, I thought they had "mist-appeared" entirely) But I've since learned that, even though the franchise did go belly-up, there are still a few independent Lums restaurants out there...a fact that fascinates me inordinately. There's one in Davie, FL , another in Plattsburgh, NY (I saw this one when I journeyed to Plattsburgh around 1999...but I was there for work and didn't get to stop for eats), and possibly one in Horseheads NY (wherever that may be). One o' these days I'm going to do a road trip solely for the purpose of going to Lums again. I suppose Plattsburgh would be the most prudent destination... Maybe I'll try to find a White Castle while I'm at it....

I know I'm one day late with this (also, I believe I posted a link to this around this time last year, but this certainly merits repeating ...and embedding)




I PITY THE FOO' who forget they mommas on Mother's Day!
(Hope everyone had a nice one!!)

what the HELL???

This is just utterly bizarro...

The article says "An insider told Latina magazine the wedding was "very impulsive.""

Name of this anonymous insider? CAPTAIN OBVIOUS. C'mon..they just met in late March. Part of me thinks this is some made up hoax story. but if it's for real, then I expect a divorce announcement to be made..hmmm..lemme see... sometime around late July to mid August.

long time no BLOG

Greetings earthlings. Just a quickie to letchya know that I still draw breath. As always -after a posting hiatus- I need to rebuild momentum with a series of substandard junk posts.





Here's a few bullet points to catch you up on the latest...





*Had my last day of work on 4/18; got a free lunch at Koto. It was hellah yummy. I need to go to Koto more often, methinks.

*Have verbally accepted a job offer w/ the VNA (a general office bitch position- doing mail, phones, reception, etc); have an appt. to go in this Wednesday to fill out new hire paperwork ; my starting day has been pushed back to the 5/19 new employee orientation, but this delay is fine by me because.. .

*Had 2 interviews last week at DHMC one with the supervisor of the secretarial float pool (to be a "floater" --even though that title makes me think of inner-toilet debris that won't quite flush down, this gig is the one I want more) and the other with the pediatric dept. I think they went well, but you never know, ya know? Your fellow applicant pool is a total unknown, there's no telling what you're up against. That's why, even though I want the DHMC gig, there's no way I could turn down the job w/ the visiting nurses. So I'm glad my VNA start date has been postponed...just in case DHMC does make an offer. It will be bad enough to accept a job and then back out, but I think it would be worse to have to quit after having started work there. So hopefully DHMC will call with good news prior to 5/19 (cross your fingers por moi!) but, y'know, if they don't things will turn out OK.

*My folks got a widescreen LCD TV (Samsung). It's pretty trippendicular...a fact I shall only concede in this forum here. The most I will admit to my Dad is that "Hmm...'s pretty cool" and this I say with a shrug in the most unenthusiastic manner ever. The thing is, it's Dad's favorite topic of conversation nowadays: "HOW AWESOME is my new TV??" So, obviously, I cannot reveal how truly impressed I am.

*Have been watching a buttload of The Electric Company with my Sadie-kins. She knows all her letters and is very eager to start reading.

*Watched "I am Legend" (in the wondrous panoramic splendor of a widescreen LCD!! Booyah!) I was NOT happy with the ending. I was even less pleased with Sam's fate. As soon as I saw that adorable li'l pup onscreen, I totally called that. SUCH a predictable (and horrible) plot device!!

ZOINKS!

Yowza...am wrapping up an insane coupla days. I don't have time to give you a rehash, but for now suffice it to say that my last day at work was not as bleak as I'd been anticipating and I am considerably less despondent. Full 411 to follow...

healing slumber

So I had my doc's appt on Tues afternoon. After looking at my throat w/ a flashlight, my doc said it didn't look like strep, (no white bumpies) but she'd take a throat culture anyways. Now THAT was a comical endeavor there. I not only gagged, but I CONVULSED & DOUBLED OVER. Consequently my doctor jumped back a full two feet like she was ready for a spray of projectile vomit. She somehow managed to get a sufficient sample. But from what she'd said I didn't think I had strep, instead I thought I was plagued with some mystery throat ailment (she seemed to think I might have THRUSH) so I was a bit shocked when, after coming into work Wed. (feeling thoroughly miserable, I might add) the doc's office called me around 9:30 and said "Congrats!! You tested positive for strep!" She told me to take the next 2 days off but I didn't wanna leave work. First off, I didn't wanna miss such a big chunk of my last week. Secondly (and I probably shoulda put this as firstly) we were getting lunch bought for us and it absolutely PAINS me to miss free lunch. Thirdly, I knew if I went home I'd just zonk out and I need to be productive (and by "be productive" I more specifically mean I need to find a *&^%$$ing job!) And lastly, I have a lot of sh*t to pack up here.

So ultimately , I compromised and took 3/4 of a day off. I picked up my prescription and took my first pill at about 10:30am yesterday. I do recall the nurse (the one who called with the happy news) saying that I would become uncontagious about 24 hrs after I started on the penicillin. And I rolled in to the office at about 10 of 11 this a.m.(w/ three penicillin doses in my system) So I'm cutting it close, but technically, I'm not endangering anybody.

I feel much better today. I don't know if it was the penicillin or the Advil or the 16 hrs of sleep but I feel LOADS better. Still stressing about $$ and my utter lack of employment, but not so depressed about it as I was on Tuesday. Unemployment is not going to kill me. Worst case scenario, I will go on unemployment, lose my apartment, and have to move back in with my parents. Yeah, that would suck ass (badger ass, if you want specifics) but 'tis not a fate worse than death. You know, my ousting from GDT was very abrupt and I don't recall stressing over it 24/7 back then. Why was I so much cooler then? The big 3-0 has made me a worrier.
Today's status: still worried, not despairing.

CALGON--TAKE ME AWAAAY!

I am not in the best of moods today. I had a job interview and I really don't think it went well. I'm feeling like I might have strep (swollen glands, tight sore throat; I'm thinking strep since Chloe had it last week, but am going to the doc for an official diagnosis at 2:30 today) I was all fixated on trying to sound like I was not sick and my throat was not closing up and I think I botched the interview. I don't know.. it was hard to gage.

And then Robin comes back from an interview and I have to listen to her yammer on about how GREAT it went and I should just be happy for her but I want to tell her to piss off and leave me the F alone. What really vexes me is that she input an application to DHMC via their website --as did I -- and she was called right in to interview with the department head of the dept that was hiring. Whereas I had to go through this pre-interview crap with their HR. I think my pre-interview went well, but still, I don't know why *I* had extra hoops to jump through. I would expect a big organization like DHMC would be consistent in their hiring procedures. I did have a 2nd interview at the Community Health Center (a division of DHMC & one of two clinical secretary positions this HR broad was **supposedly** submitting my name for ) but I know I didn't get that. But where is my second second interview? What the hell? Probably Robin is snagging that very job while I think I'm going through proper channels but DHMC HR is actually sitting around with their thumbs up their collective arse.

This lack of a new gig is driving me MAD. I've been having dreams about it...dreams about working weird new jobs or about stalking people to coerce them into hiring me. Friday is my last day here and I've been packing up my shit today (alternating packing with e-filing my taxes) and I am so fucking stressed I could EXPLODE. And actually, explosion doesn't seem all that terrible...because if I don't explode, I get the feeling that I'm going to succumb to weepiness and there's nothing I hate more than well-meaning folk trying to console me when my eyes get leaky.

I shouldn't have gone to TX. It wound up being as thoroughly pointless as I thought it would be and that was a week I could've spent finding a new job.

I'm never going to find anything. I feel under-qualified for everything.

Life is SO shitty today.

MOBY NEWS (not very newsworthy, really..)

This article amused me.

Moby is either hetero or he's joking here.

Methinks the latter....