Elegance

This is my new desktop image on my PC. I found this website Artophile and while it doesn't have the large gallery that the other art sites I frequent have, it does have a lot of very nice (and tough to find) hi-res images of 20s /30s fashion illustration which I find to be mucho nifty. When I think of the word "elegance" it always brings to mind one of these old etchings by Erte or Georges Barbier (Usually Barbier....Erte, I'm actually not all that fond of) -- tall, thin chicks in diamonds & drop waisted frocks...sometimes accompanied by an Afghan hound.

I picked this particular pic because of the mysterious backstory. Here we have something going on-- it's not someone simply standing there, exuding elegance, whilest sporting the latest fashions. I've ascertained that they're at some sort of revels being staged at a fantastically rich (possibly titled) person's country estate. They've made the tennis courts a makeshift stage and set up a tent for the audience. Isn't that so terrific, how rich people of yore used to do that shit?? Like when they "entertained" for a weekend, they weren't just bandying that word about in vain. They would have an acting troupe perform a private play OR even quainter...they would take it upon themselves to stage "amateur theatricals". Or go on a fox hunt and have grand formal picnics. Siiiigh! How wonderfully classy. Feels sometimes as if I was born in the wrong era /socio-economic class / country ....

ANYHOODLE, back to the drawing in question -- my coworker Lisa disputes the country estate part of my theory, she thinks this crowd is in an amphitheatre. But look at those chairs and tell me that's the seating of a bona fide amphitheatre!! Come on! Those are obviously borrowed from the formal dining room of Viscount Somebodyorother, right??
Now, the couple in the foreground , why are they ignoring the performance? What up above them, has snared their attention? My immediate guess is that the duo has spied a bat clinging to the tent ceiling. I think it a true testament to their utter elegance (internal as well external) that they appear so nonchalant about this sighting. Were I the elegant madam in this scenario, you can bet your Afghan hound that I would NOT be gesticulating with my silken fan..NOOO, I would use it to cover my noggin as I dove for the ground. I have a scary history of indoor bat encounters. Perhaps that's why I immediately conclude that these people are staring upwards at a bat. I suppose it could be a rip in the tent or a UFO , who the hell knows? Feel free to share your theories if any overtake ya...

here it coo-oomes! Television's most EXCITING hour!!

I am a reformed soap opera addict. I used to tape 2 daytime soaps daily (Guiding Light & As the World Turns). But one day the tape broke and I said to myself "Aaaagh..got to buy me a new blank tape" Except I am waaaaaay more addicted to procrastination than I ever was to any soap and that is why I kept reminding myself that I had to pick up a new tape without ever actually picking up a new tape. Until one day I didn't give a damn about taping the soaps anymore.

Well last Wednesday I found that I had another blank tape all this time. I felt like:Ooooh..here's a chance to record some show that my dumbass job prevents me from watching everyday. Except that I feel pretty good about weening myself off the soaps (no nutritional value whatsoever). So I thought...what daytime show do I wish I could stay home and watch everyday?? Pre1985, the answer to that would undoubtedly have been SESAME STREET . But my love for the Street is not what it once was. Not on account of my growing up though (don't fret).

So, ultimately, I went from the excessively juvenile to the waaaay other end of the spectrum. I am now taping The Price Is Right everyday. I genuinely DO love me some TPIR (that's what we devotees call it). Even though I am bummed about Bob Barker's impending retirement, it's certainly understandable. Dude is OOOOLD! And really, his job can be rather dangerous. I mean, he has to spot everybody spinning THE BIG WHEEL and most of 'em spin like they're trying to get the $1. space and a double hernia. But even more frightening is the crazed Barker groupies... The other day I watched when this Hispanic lady named Esperanza (who I would place in her 60s somewhereabouts) was called to "COME ON DOOOOWWN!" and loco abuela totally bypassed Contestant's Row and got on stage to accost poor Bob!! She was jogging right at him, and shaking her fists in the air and making these inarticulate "EEeeee!" noises. Poor Bob! He had to run away and dart behind the camera man!! He is too old to be running and darting! He is liable to bust a hip! And a lot of the old ladies in the TPIR audience have this really scarily excessive Barker-fever. I mean, Esperanza was the only one I've seen that couldn't keep it in check until she won a pricing game and gained legitimate entre to the stage, but ALL the old ladies are too up in Bob's grill. They get on stage and practically hump the poor guy's leg!

You know what **I** would never ever do, if ever, by God's good Grace, I made it on TPIR? Well, aside from dry humping Bob Barker I mean....(never say NEVER right? ha ha ha)
I would never, as last to bid on Contestant's Row, bid $1 higher than the highest bid. It might be strategically smart but there's more important things than smart strategy. Like consideration. Or a little thing called sportsmanship. Like POSESSING A MODICUM OF HUMAN DECENCY, DAMN IT! I really hate players that do that.

Something I don't get about TPIR prize packages. .. they seem to (have always seemed to) toss things together in a very arbitrary fashion. Particularly on the prize packages that the Contestant's Row Posse bid on. You know what I mean, right? If you've watched more than a few TPIR episodes than surely you have heard "And to the winner of this handsome grandfather clock goes a supply of Garlique! Garlique: the odor free, drug free, all-natural way to better cardiovascular health!"
What the fuck does Garlique have to do with the price of beer in Paraguay*? Or grandfather clocks either for that fucking matter?? I love you TPIR, but I swear, sometimes I think the braintrust that puts on this show is as dotty as its octagenarian fan base!!

Another thing I've noticed about the show, as I resume my viewership after a long absence... The homemade Tshirt , once the mark of a creative, enterprising minority, is now most definitely de rigueur. Those things are ALL OVER the damn audience!! I don't think all those people are that crafty... I highly suspect there is one or two go-to cheezy gift shops in the vicinity of CBS Studios out in CA that makes a killing selling these things. "Don't Retire, Bob!" "I've Had my Husband Spayed!!" Wow, with all that witty cotton, I imagine the pressure to distinguish oneself is TREMENDOUS.

Also very noticeably new on this show is the substandard announcer. I mean, OBVIOUSLY, you're not going to ever, ever be able to hire on another Rod Roddy, but I'm sure they could've done better than whatever schlub they've got as announcer presently. He is CRAP. Well, if TPIR lives on after Barker's retirement, they should replace lamearse-announcer-dude (SOOO unimpressive that his name is incapable of sticking in one's memory) when they recast host. I read some rumor about Mario Lopez being in talks for Barker's job. He's definitely robust enough to handle some excitable Seniors molesting him but... ehhh. The idea just don't sit right with me. Ideally (per moi)they would rig up some sort of animatronic Bob Barker to host the show for a few more decades. But in lieu of Robo-Barker, I'd like to see Chuck Woolery on TV more. Or Alan Thicke. Alan Thicke could do it. I'd be down with that.

* probably you thought I was going to say "the price of tea in China" That's what I'd meant but my innate abhorrence of cliches physically prevented my from typing that...hence..beer, Paraguay, etc . Hope that clears up any confusion

By the power of Greyskull...

I used to have THIS poster. This seller has done a horrible job photographing it, but it has on the left side all the warriors (and warriors' ride-on jungle cats) on HeMan's side (the "good guys") and then all the villains on the right side of the poster. Everyone has their name next to them, so it's really a handy reference guide for the Masters of the Universe universe. I think I got mine at Burger King.

Although I feel strongly that this poster would be a fantastic addition to my cubicle, I could never bid on it. I'm a little wary of ebay to begin with, but aside from that whole issue, I am pretty certain that this poster is still somewhere at my parents house. Maybe in the darkest, cobwebbiest corner of the cellar furnace room...or possibly rolled up on the top shelf in a closet-waaay at the back, and under a buttload of other junk. It's in that house somewhere. And so I cannot buy it.

Same goes for my old License to Drive poster, the Duran Duran poster, the Jacksons Victory tour poster (another BK acquisition) and that poster my sister had of Kirk Cameron lounging in a pretty pernicious come-hither fashion on a nest of pillows. If I had that last one, KC himself would probably buy it on ebay...so he could burn it at church (a tangible forsaking of his sinful Seaver past)

Footnote of apology

Really should not have blathered on at such length about the "Eddie incident". But you have to understand...I wouldn't say I get asked out once in a blue moon exactly...the actual frequency is more like once every other blue moon. So it was kind of an event.

Ohhh.. DON'T cry for me (Argentina). I have absolutely no regrets. Wait, that's not true... that my sister would pimp me out for worthless plastic gaming chips- that I do regret. I regret that I'm not a very smooth liar. I'm going to have to work on that. But I do not at all regret passing up that date. I really don't intend to wind up a dried up old spinster, but I WILL enter into a platonic marriage with a nice gay man before I start hooking up with sleestaks of that vile ilk.

So my point-- sorry for rambling last post. I know it's my usual mode of communique,(rambling) but sorry just the same, everybody.

Oh, but beggars CAN be choosers after all...

Don't believe the old adage. I am living disproof of it.

Saturday night we had our company's annual "Spring Fling Party" The theme was Casino Night. Yippy skippy...I am really not much into gambling. So I was content to just graze and drink and sit with my work friends. HOWEVER...I got a ride to the fete with my sister and bro-in-law (he works for the same co. as me...dunno if I've mentioned that before. He's in a totally different dept...making 3 or 4 X my salary -that's my guesstimate though, not fact) So I felt like I should make an effort to divide my time between my coworker homies & my sister. It seemed like it would be sorta rude to be all "Thanks for the ride, suckaaaaz. I will now ignore you for the entire evening, but PLEASE notify me when my return ride is soon to depart, a'ight??" So it seems like common courtesy, right? Well I should have thrown common courtesy right out the f-ing window because Laura's fun...not always my idea of fun...this is especially true when she is buzzing. She was really into blackjack on Sat night so I played for quite a while...just to humor her. What does humoring her get me? It gets me hit on by the ickiest, sleaziest rent-a-croupier on the planet.


He could have been a professional croupier for all I know...I had wondered where they got all the gaming people for the shindig but I certainly wasn't going to ask him. I pointedly refrained from asking the dude any personal questions and yet somehow was subjected to info on his life philosophy, favorite restaurants, hobbies, his likes, his dislikes, his goddamn medical history, and blah dee blah dee BLAAAH ad infinitum...the guy would NOT shut up. The self-centered
loquaciousness would have even been forgiveable if he hadn't been such a shameless HOGGER. I mean, when I first sat down to the table, I made some crack about Uno being more my game and he's like "Huh.Uno??THAT'S one I haven't heard before but..." and then he pauses, he shrugs in a way that perfectly implies "to each his own" but, after a beat, continues to talk and I'm expecting at this juncture that he is, yes, actually going to say "to each his own" or something to that effect but he says "Hey-- WE ALL MASTURBATE"
HUH?? How did we segue to that? And even if it was remotely pertinent to the topic at hand...that..that is just IMPROPER conversation for mixed company!! I know, I know that makes me sound like a mega-prude. But really!! There was this older lady at the table who I feel certain was somebody's grandma!! Well ok, maybe, said old lady didn't so much as bat an eyelash over it, but I think that was probably due to her being in a gambling addict trance (she looked to be pretty hardcore...she had beau coup chips) more so than her being ok with that sort of talk. So... right at the outset: HORRENDOUS first impression.

OOOoooh, but the hits just kept on coming.... Eddie (he did have a name...an accordingly sleazy name) proved to be a master of the lameass innuendo. For instance.... gamblinggranny was conversing with my sis about something (I was barely paying attention... wondering how many swigs I had left in my Mich Lite before I could bolt for the bar) and --in innocent conversation-- said the phrase "tied down" Can see it from a mile away, no? Eddie :" Yeah, I don't like to be tied down either.....except maybe later with you " (points at mortified ME).
That's just a sampling (there must have been at least a dozen of these uninspired bon mots ... all aimed toward a queasy yours truly) but that pretty well sums up this character-- all the subtlety of Andrew Dice Clay and not half so clever. (OHH! ) In retrospect, I wish I wasn't as well-mannered as I am...and had just said "Oh, PISS OFF" But, in my defence, I don't think my responses were all that encouraging... at one point said "Oy. Well I saw THAT coming from a few miles away" but mostly I kept it non-verbal.. rolling my eyes as I sipped my beer or a couple times I just up and walked away.

But DAMN my sister and the authoritative hold she has on me. I would periodically come back from my table of amigos and check on her. And she would coerce me into playing some more blackjack. She was just picking up the game and soo pleased with herself but Greg had abandoned her and if I didn’t play with her she would be alone and friendless (sniff! Sob!) And she just wouldn’t budge from that table because Eddie was imparting to her all of his great blackjack know-how. Additionally—inexplicably—she thought he was funny. UGH. But I would sit and play for a while, for poor, friendless Laura’s sake. Y’know, in the Sweet & Obliging Sister event, I know I’m placing—maybe a silver medal, but honestly I will be STUNNED if I don’t take home the gold.

But now, a confession that may show me in a disparaging light (no, no, no, nothing HAPPENED. Calm yourself. Gawd!!) In the interest of providing a fair & balanced reporting of the episode I must tell you—if this guy had looked like Clive Owen (Clive springs to mind because his first big movie role was as a croupier in an indie flick called…Croupier. Mmmm..Cliiiive) I woulda gone out with him…with all these same behavioral flaws in place , I woulda gone out with him. I am overstating the case actually, if he had been just regular good looking (not necessarily "Clive-caliber") I woulda gone out with him. That makes me cruel and vain I realize, but there you have it. However, if he had shown himself to be of decent character, I do believe that I would have overlooked any external shortcomings and gone out with him. Probably. See, I am not a total lost cause—soullistically speaking.

So yeah, as it happens, he did ask me out, he was NOT good looking (& at least 40 years old—agh!) and as I’ve said, he'd behaved repugnantly. Hence, my answer was “NO”. But not a simple “no”--a stammered and terribly awkward “no”. Here’s how it went down (why be concise now , right?)—

Due to Laura’s cursed blackjack fever, we were at the gambling table when the party wrapped at 10pm. The other players had suddenly, alarmingly, GONE. He pivoted and pointed himself directly at me…I could sense dark clouds gathering before he even opened up his dumb yapper. And then :“Since you’re so INTRIGUING, I’d like to take you out sometime…” I WISH he hadn’t asked like that. I would rather he had said “So Sugartits—wanna go out sometime?” That would've been easy to answer ...in the bluntly brutal negative. But opening with a nice compliment—and that particular compliment (y’know, it just so happens that I endeavor to be intriguing) I gotta give credit where credit’s due—that was well played. But flattery—although I am a big fan of it—will NOT get you everywhere. Another adage debunked. So my rejection is all queued up, but the flattery has softened me..got me all sympathetic and, as I’m suddenly wary of crushing this poor schlub’s spirit, it becomes necessary to concoct an impromptu lie. And I am utter CRAP at lying. No, lemme amend that—I am crap at lying in person. I actually do a very artful phone fib (it’s my job, after all). But face-to-face? And on the spot? SOO not my strong suit!! This is the gibberish that fell from my mouth (approximately verbatim) –
“Ohhhhh. Ah. No. No thanks. I just-ahh- got out of, of, a baaad relationship and I’m… I’m not.. I’M ON HIATUS. So, no thanks.” To which he replied “OK. Have fun!” in a kinda glib, non-genuine way, though I couldn’t tell if it was an embittered“I-can-see-through-your-blatant-lie” glibness or a puzzled “not-quite-sure-what-hiatus-means” glibness. Might’ve been both.

The simplest lie might’ve been the way to go. “I’m sorry. NO. I have a boyfriend.” Well…colossal brain fart…it never even occurred to me to say that! That might have easily backfired on me though. Laura was right there…and I really believe she might have followed that line with a snort or a loud “Puh!” Or simply “HAA!”

Anita from HR wanted to know why I fled the building without waiting for Greg or Laura. I was about to say “I needed some air” (more fibs) when Greg came out the door bellowing “THAT made my night!!!” Apparently he had been nearby to witness Eddie’s pitch and my less-than-suave deflection. So before I could open my mouth to protest, Laura & Greg had the whole story out. Yeah. To my immense dismay, it was a hot conversation topic as we traversed the parking lot. My TRAITOR of a sister was unbelievably scolding me for turning him down. “There was nothing wrong with him! You should have gone out with him!” She actually said that. She must have been COMPLETELY delusional. Thankfully, I got some support from the menfolk. Greg sided with me, saying (to Laura)“I gotta go with your sister on this…that guy was a CREEP!!” And Tom (Anita’s hubby) was indignant on my behalf “ I can’t believe your sister was ready to sell you down the river for a stack of plastic chips that can’t even be reimbursed for real money!! That’s LOW”

But Laura was insistent that I made a mistake. She said she really didn’t think he was that bad. You've heard of beer goggles, I presume? Well apparently, pinot grigio googles are considerably more distorting. I HAVE to believe that or I have to disown my sister. It's as simple as that. I cannot believe that she saw this Eddie as he ACTUALLY was and still thought it would behoove me to go out with him. That would mean she thinks I am the very paragon of "HARD UP". She said "I know he's not like, the catch of your life, but you should've said yes. You would've gotten a date...free dinner...y'know..." So, this I interpret to mean--in addition to being extremely hard up in the dating dept., I complicate things with my impossibly high standards.
But I don't think my standards are crrrrazy high. Despite what Laura thinks, I would not turn somebody down on the grounds of them not being "the catch of my life". On the other hand, I think it's wrong to accept a date just for the sake of obtaining a date...especially wrong if that means accepting a date with someone whose entire appearance and manner thoroughly repels you. Am I wrong here? Are the rules so drastically different for the legions of the "extremely hard-up??"

tales from me talking to my TV

You are not going to believe this, but I shall tell you anyways...

Flipping about the channels on Thurs night, I happened upon Jeopardy! right at the very start of Final Jeopardy . The category is US History and Alex reads: "Out of 29 of this nineteenth century president's vetoes, Congress overrode 15 of them." And I was like...OOooooh, even for Final Jeopardy, that is ROUGH. But I threw my hands up and said out loud "I'll say ANDREW JOHNSON" I didn't exactly throw my hands in the air, proceeding to wave them as if I just did NOT care, because, well, Jeopardy just isn't that kind of show. It was more of a gestular way of saying "What the hey..."

Well it WAS Andrew Johnson!! How d'ya like that? No doubt you'd label that a "lucky guess" but I think instead that, in the reading I've done about presidents of yore (I've done a bit...it's the distant historical Presidents I take an interest in ...Washington through FDR...yep, everybody after FDR rather bores me, I'm sorry to say) more has been absorbed than I realized. There is probably an AWESOME abundance of crap I know that I don't know that I know!! Astounding...

my bad jiggy self

Last night Z97 played a coupla songs that made me want to go out dancing. In fact I was doing a little surreptitious car dancing ..

They played Li'l Jon's "Snap Yo Fingers" first, which- mindless pablum though it is- is a maaarvelous song nonetheless. It got me jonesing to go out to a club (not a bar but a club club, y'know) and I haven't been to one in a pathetically loooong time. And then, as if Z97 actually sensed the reaction they were evoking (sensed my rumpshake down memory lane) they proceeded to play Sean Paul's "Get Busy". Claaaassic. So that further exacerbated my club-stalgia. Once upon a time I used to go out to clubs frequently... That's right, I used to really get out and shake my tail feather..even if said tail feathers are of Big Birdesque proportions. Sometimes I get the feeling that I gave up the whole raising hell era of my life too early..... if I'm not feeling like that, I'm feeling like totally hibernating ...y'know holing up in my abode, not spending money, marathon novel reading.... there is no happy medium mood with me apparently.

Oh, speaking of money.... I had to pay a FAT sum to both the VT Dept of Taxes and the US Treasury. I make very measly moolah, I dunno why this keeps happening to moi!! I will have to have a professional do my taxes next year I think. Anyways, I remember a bank employee pal of mine informing me before that you can write pretty much anything on your checks' memo lines (I had asked her about it...I've always found that line to be just BEGGING for some sarcastic notation) and it doesn't matter. So on both my tax payment checks I wrote "bleeding me dry" on that line after the " FOR:"

Consequently cash is going to be veeeeery tight until mid May. Ouch. I found myself thinking last night how much I would like a little divine intervention-- y'know to win a contest, or well, not Powerball exactly (I don't want to be GREEDY...not that I would turn that kinda $$$ away..NO SIREEE BOB!) but lucking out with a winning scratch ticket perhaps. And then this afternoon my boss IMs me: "Come here please" That always makes me wince and think "Agh! What did I f*** up ?" But it was actually a very POSITIVE "come here please" .. she was handing out $25. Visa gift cards for those of that made 100% accuracy on our prev month's stats. I feel compelled to point out that only 2 of us got cards-- me & Robin. And I got *TWO* gift cards--one for my January stats and another for March. I know that's not an astounding assload of money but that really made my day. I'm taking it as a sign that somebody up there's listening to me.

Every now and then I think of this little pearl of wisdom (my friend Monica used to say it, and coincidentally I bought a magnet that had this printed on it for Roxanny's b-day)--
"Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end"

An adage that has long stuck with me because it's such a weird blend of reassurance and vague grimness.

Goooooooooooooo Spartans!

I gotta say, if I were dining with Gerard Butler...I would NOT be overly picky on the venue. MMMmmmm...

So, yah, I finally went to see 300 last night. It was a workout for the facial muscles...the oscillating between lusty lip smacking at virtually-nakey Leonidas and continual cringing at a beheading...or be-legging...someone getting stabbed through the mouth..you get the idea. Very violent flick. But damned impressive.

tofu, brown rice and carrot juice...BANG BANG!

Not exactly what I ate for lunch but I did have a miso soup w/ TOFU in it. Lotsa people are reticent about just trying tofu, but I wasn't reticent out of cowardice but because my last tofu experience was rather disappointing. Early this month Roxanne & I dined out at Yama and I had some of this seafood stew she ordered (she insisted I try some) and that had tofu in it. I can't criticize the flavor, as it tastes like absolutely NADA, but the consistency of that tofu was foul. It was like these neutrally flavored hunks of jelly...just barely at the lowest levels of solidification. Ewww. However the tofu niblets in my soup du jour were much better. Much more solid...actually they were sort of like the eggy bits you get in fried rice.

And presently I am polishing off a Raspberry YoCrunch. It feels like somebody musta made a fortune off that notion-- including a 1/4 cup of granola with a yogurt cup. Genius. Unless that genius signed off all the glory to their company...well either way, they probably took home a nice bundle.

stuff i LOVE

"Rebel Yell" came on the radio on my way home last night and I was SO stoked. If I could do a celebratory wheelie with my Taurus, I would've. I know I've raved before about the terrificness of "Rebel Yell" but it merits the repetition, a'ight? And I cannot reiterate enough how terrif Billy Idol is. He is one awesome possum. To really quantify how much I adore him, lemme put it this way: if I got invited to Billy Idol's house but was forewarned that he had pet devil-macaws flying free about the place...I WOULD STILL GO. Yeah, that's how much.

Conversely, a song that I HATE to hear come on the radio is "Smack That" by Akon. I always switch stations with an inordinate vehemence... sometimes uttering a disgusted "Uuuugh" while I do so. Now for the most part, "Smack That" is crap in a very run-of-the-mill way, and usually I am merely indifferent to such music but there is one line that compels me to actively HATE the song. Early in the song he sings "Maybe go to my place and just kick it like Taebo". Gee, that would be a VERY au courant reference 7 or 8 years ago. I really hate that line..it grates on my nerves.

Ok, back to "stuff i LOVE" (in keeping with my post title)... AMC was playing "Fletch" last night. Now, I was committed to watching "Thank God You're Here" but I couldn't help flipping back to 'Fletch" on every commercial break. Y'know I have to check IMDB to see if "Fletch" is on the AFI's Greatest Comedies list or something of that nature. If not, then that is a GINORMOUS OVERSIGHT and I will launch a fierce letter writing campaign immediately! Yes, I love Fletch. I love Chevy Chase (he was my favorite amigo of "The Three Amigos", incidentally) Some of the best bits I caught last night...

Stanwyck: You'll be wearing rubber gloves. Do you own rubber gloves?
FLETCH: I rent 'em. I have a lease with an option to buy.
HAA HA HA HAA HAAA!!

Receptionist: May I help you Dr...?
FLETCH: Oh, it's me, Dr. Rosenpenis. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
FLETCH: Dr. Rosenrosen, I'm here to get to the records room.

HAAA, HA, HAAA!

doc: Now, how long have you had these pains, Mr. Barber?
FLETCH: No, that's "Babar"
doc: Two B's?
FLETCH: One B. B-A-B-A-R.
Doc: That's two.
FLETCH: Yeah, but not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant.
Doc: Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
FLETCH; I don't know. I don't have any.
Doc: No children?
FLETCH: No elephant books.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I think that bit is my absolute fave

Okay, forgive me... dialogue quoting is just the lowest form of gushing, I realize that. I adore that movie so much that I'm just reduced to being Chris Farley hosting the Chris Farley Show. (Remember that skit? Yeeeah, that was funny)

Here is something that really burns my arse about Fletch (because, apparently, I am unable to keep things on a positive note). Well, it's not about 1985 Fletch (which is utter perfection) but rather with this piece of sheizer "Fletch Won" prequel that's been in pre-development limbo forever. Yes, I can unreservedly prejudge "Fletch Won" as a complete waste of film even before it starts shooting and this is why.... early on in the planning stages of the flick, Jason Lee was going to play Fletch . Now that was divinely inspired casting, just brilliant. Jason Lee is THE perfect Fletch. And once that notion was planted in my head, I became completely incapable of imagining any other actor as Fletch. There just simply isn't any other actor that can do it justice! SO. Imagine my vexation when J-Lee was pulled off the project !!! And even WORSE, you know who has all but sealed the deal to play Fletch now? ZACH BRAFF. You have GOT to be kidding me. You know what ZB would be ideal for?? If, instead of a prequel, they just straight-up remade Fletch...Braff would be really good as the dude in the convertible with Fletch (played by Jason Lee, of course) in this scene.

Lest I wrap things up on a down note, let me share this bit of hilarity that I stumbled upon during today's web meanderings. I don't know why Will Ferrell continually insists in growing out his hair into a 'fro ( I hate it) but aside from that minor coiff quibble, I just loved this short.

trivial nattering

Considering the horrible happenings in VA today it seems,well..trivial, to yammer on about movies & music and this forum's usual lite fare, but really I must. My office mates & I were talking about the Virginia Tech massacre all day today and if I dwell on it any more, I swear, I dunno, I am going to freak and do something rash. Scared rash , not scary rash, mind you...like I may very well start up construction on a panic room and never leave home. Add some kevlar to my wardrobe perhaps...

Sorry I neglected my posting duties on Friday, although I feel certain I would've just tapped out some uninspired blah-dee blah about it being Thomas Jefferson's birthday (it was, though you probably didn't realize on account of everybody blah-dee blahing about it being Friday the 13th) So probably you didn't miss much.

I had a swell visit with my amiga Jill on Saturday. I should say a swell long overdue visit. I hadn't seen her since late October --too damn long. They say "absence makes the heart grow fonder". And it's true-- I was so chockablock with fondness for Jillypants that, that... well, I have since noticed some seams on my person** that are in disrepair. I know that's no coincidence! So I caution you to NOT test the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" adage...you may harm yourself!!

We went to the big pet store across from where I work. It musta been YEARS since I'd been in there. I guess that's partly because it makes me a smidge sad to visit all the cutesywootsy schmoopy puppies and then not buy one. And also I kind of forget it's there so I never think to go there. I know that sounds rather flakey, but it's true. (Me? Flakey? I know it's tough to imagine..) Anyways, the pet shop was rad and I successfully refrained from buying a dog. They were all cutesywootsies though...if only I'd had a spare grand handy..

I was ever so slightly traumatized by the bird and rat room. Ewwww. The rats were NAAASTY little pukes...not even remotely cutesywootsie. But at least the rats were in cages. They had these free range macaws flying around totally unfettered. And those fuckers have beaks like
g-d sabres!! I mean birds make me uneasy in general, but those macaws are LEGITIMATELY scary...did I mention their wicked looking talons? No I did not. Well they have wicked looking talons in addition to their horribly sharp beezers. Damn their lovely plumage!! Lovely EVIL plumage. While you are dazzled by their array of vibrant colors they will take advantage of your dazzlement and pop one of your enchanted eyeballs like it's a grape tomato! Well, I've never actually seen a macaw do that...but I wouldn't put it past 'em. I got freaked out and had to leave the bird room when 2 of 'em started fighting over a scrap of paper towel. Jill very graciously bolted along with me... although she fears no bird (brave, brave girl)

But y'know, (and I realize, at this juncture, that I've blathered on about birds for too damn long) what if I was NOT afraid of birds, and I was generally aware of the presence of the Pet & Aquarium Center and made frequent visits and furthermore I even enjoyed wiling away a goodly part of these visits in the bird and rat room. But FURTHER SUPPOSE that I had a case of the sniffles during one of my visits --not improbable considering the fucky climate here in the northeast. So picture it--- I'm in the bird room (we'll leave the poor gross rats outta this) innocently mopping up some nasal drippings with a Kleenex. A DEVIL-MACAW spies that, thinks "Hey, I love me some paper towels! That there looks paper towel-esque..." and proceeds to slash a 2" deep swathe across my cheek with its awful sabre-beak as he steals my snotty Kleenex!! Do you not think the pet store should have some sort of signage up??

Bird rant OVER...

I picked up some previewed movies at Hollywood Video--it was not a total binge, as 3 of the 4 movies were for a birthday present (went to a surprise 60th party for my Uncle George on Sunday) and it was a FAAAABULOUS bargain. If there's one thing I like better than a bargain, it's a FAAABULOUS bargain. Magnificent bargains are also a pleasant experience.

Here's what I bought--

For Uncle G-money-- Miami Vice (that TV show was his absolute fave)
Snakes on a Plane (not to be insulting, but I think that whole mindless
action genre is really his fave and I presume Snakes is probably the
penultimate film craptacular in said genre)
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (this is sort of a compromise...G also likes detec- tive movies--second only to the mindless action flicks-- and this fits that
bill. Except I've heard good things about this one and have been wanting to
see it. I was going for buddy cop flick done with wit and style...I think
that's this movie. I had to put my own personal stamp on the gift and, well
Snakes on a Plane & Miami Vice...sooo not me (cinematically speaking)
Don't get me wrong, I DO think my uncle will like it...the DVD case was
emblazoned with "from the creators of Lethal Weapon" so that is a definite
sign that I chose well.

And for yours truly I bought Stranger Than Fiction . I just watched it last night and it was a kick arse movie. Am very pleased to add it to my out-of-control DVD library. It's funny and moving. I'm sorry-- "moving" is such a weak and vague descriptive. But near the end ...when I *thought* things were not going to turn out like I wanted 'em to... I was incontrollably talking to the movie. Not directions or anything, just uttering a sporadic, pained, "Nooo..." "Oooh no!" And really, I don't usually do that. Well, everyone who knows me knows I'm prone to talking throughout a movie...but it's not usually talk of that nature. Sarcastic commentary is more my M.O.

Gosh! I nearly forgot to tell you the price ( the low, low cost that got this purchase the coveted "FAAAABULOUS Bargain" rating) !! 4 movies for $27. Not too shabby.

Well, I gotsta jet dearies. More tomorrow...

**That's right, when I say "my person" that is synonymous with "ME". At this point in my life, I own no other person , no manservant or slave or boyfriend or pet imbecile or anything, sadly. Waah. I'm saving up for a li'l mail-order somethin' -somethin' but don't get your hopes up on my behalf (history has shown me to be utter crap at saving $$ )

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY !!! MATT WON! I am still a smidgeon vexed that I missed it...and also I can't get any of the videos on the Bravo site to play but still-- YAAAAY!!

oh NOOOOOOO

I just realized something terrible!! I missed the finale of Top Design last night!! I had to go to a stupid school play my niece was in and missed it!! Ok, I take that back this instant, it was NOT a stupid play and Chloe did a terrific job in her acting debut but right now I'm rather peeved that I missed the BIG episode.

I am making haste now to the Bravo website to find out who won the thang.
Please let it be Matt..please let it be Matt....please let it be Matt....please let it be Matt....please let it be Matt....please let it be Matt....please let it be Matt....please let it be Matt...pleeeeeease...

mucho violets next month!!!

Though April showers may come your way

They bring the flowers that bloom in May

So if it's snowing, have no regrets

Because it isn't snowing snow, you know(It's snowing violets)

Can you believe this weather?? I'm trying to look on the bright side of this freakish precipitation...aside from the greater influx of violets due to us now(if the old song is to be believed ...and also applies to snow & sleet), I suppose this means I can further procrastinate on shaving my legs. Aaaaand...well, that's all I got. Pollyanna I'm not, but I try.

Discovered another artist of interest while perusing the 'net the other day. The guy's name is Augustus Egg. How adorable is that moniker? Well, ok, it's Augustus Leopold Egg, if you wanna be all formal about it. So I'm thinking, this guy has a real eccentric Dickens character sort of name...and then I discover that Mr Egg was actually friends with Charles Dickens. Well my, my, MY! It's a small Victorian England world after all, ain't it? Check out the Tate Gallery's schpiel on Egg's triptych titled Past and Present(No. 1, 2, &3)

One of Egg's less literary (and more dangerously insane) friends was fellow painter Richard Dadd. Who painted this highly detailed work called The Fairy Feller's Master Stroke.

Richard Dadd also was crazy ( many retro-diagnose him as a schizophrenic ) and at 27 yrs old, stabbed his father to death and later took a razor blade to some random stranger during his trip to France (when trying to escape post-patricide).

It puts a whole new layer of intrigue on his work to know that the bulk of it (including The Fairy Feller's Master Stroke) was painted while he was an inmate in Bethlehem Asylum (popularly called Bedlam)

Sorry..I know that's rather grim. But that sort of thing snags my interest from time to time. I should have brought up Dadd first and then moved on to the cutely-named Augustus Egg. I hate to wrap things up on such a down note.

note the new link, compadres

The Athenaeum is a TERRIFIC place to browse when you're killing time on the 'net. It's got artwork AND poetry in it. I didn't read much of the poetry yet, but I intend to. April IS National Poetry Month, don't ya know (yeah, I don't think many people know, so don't feel bad. It's not very well publicized, unfortunately)

The Athenaeum has this feature called "artwork showdown" where they show you 2 different paintings with "Vote For Me!" links under them and you just click under the pic you prefer. And then it will show you the pic you voted for up against a new painting...click on which you prefer. And then your pick vs another painting, and so on and so forth etc etc ad infinitum. (You could go on voting and voting forev--well not forever, but for quite some time. I must have wiled away a good 15 min. Oh and yeah, in case you're wondering, work HAS been reeeeeally slooooow lately.. I am certainly not complaining though ) With this feature they collect data on how well liked a certain piece of art is. Not that I really give a toss about statistics/ data accrual & all that crap, but the artwork showdown kind of works like a random painting generator and it introduces you to art/ artists that you might never have known about. That part of it is rad.


For instance, today I discovered that I enjoy works by--

*Canaletto-- an 18th century Venetian Rococo painter. I didn't think I liked anything Rococo, but I was impressed with several of C's city scapes. Like--



This is the one that initially caught my eye. It's titled :"Capriccio With the Four Horses From the Cathedral of San Marco"

*James Tissot (French/b. 1836-d.1902)--

"In an English Garden"

*Arthur Hughes (English/b.1832-d.1915) ---


"Home from Sea"




I also saw that The Athenaeum has HUUUUUGE sections on some artists I already knew I dug....like Gustave Caillebotte & Mary Cassat.

So I recommend checking it out...and because I sooo recommend it, it is newly added to my links sidebar at right. After you get mind rot from reading my trivial & disjointed ravings you can counteract with a dose of culture.

Thank God You're Here!

I watched the NBC premiere of "Thank God You're Here" last night. I thought it was a riot and at the same time... it feels destined for an unjust premature cancellation. I don't know precisely why I say that...maybe it's a groundless premonition on my part (I hope so). Part of it is just due to tricky scheduling. They're filling the Heroes timeslot for just 2 weeks, and come April 23rd, everyone will be so thrilled to have Heroes back-- they'll tune into NBC that Mon @ 9pm for sure but will anybody-- in just 2 weeks time-- have been deeply enough enthralled by TGYH to follow it to Wednesday night? Doubtful. Also it doesn't seem flashy & whorish enough (think: American Idol) to beguile the masses. No product tie-ins? No text message voting? Sounds too pure & simple to me. Don't get me wrong, I adore pure & simple...I just don't think it stands a chance.

I do hope I'm mistaken here and TGYH really takes off. Here's what I liked about it--

*Dave Foley as judge-- No audience voting, no America voting, and no panel of judges (flirt-bickering with each other, each trying to forge his/her unique niche in said panel) I like that. And I like Dave Foley, to boot. He's funny in a very understated way... I never watched him on News Radio but I was on a hell of a Kids on The Hall kick for a while (and he & Bruce McCullough were the 2 best "kids" I always thought)
I'd actually seen Dave earlier in the evening on "The New Adventures of Old Christine" (VERY good sitcom...whereas your average sitcom is dreck) and he did a stellar job with that guest starring gig. I also think he is one of those rare folk who looks better with grey hair.
*Bryan Cranston in episode 1-- All the contenders were funny (in what has to be an incredibly tough scenario) but it was righteous that Cranston won (the highly coveted plastic trophy) . He was kissing and dry humping people left and right and you just gotta salute that kind of all-out commitment.
*Edie McClurg in episode 2-- She was up against Kevin Nealon, MoNique, and Richard Kind. I really thought she should've won... she was surprisingly awesome. And really, looking quite glowy and youthful for a 56 yr old dame. I noticed that David Alan Grier failed to mention "Dance 'Til Dawn" in her introduction...he rattled off a few of her credits...but not the key role of Carol Seaver's mom/ Frasier's wife in that 1988 classic. Shame on you, David Alan Grier or whoever writes your teleprompter schpiel!!!

I won't tell you just who won that episode of TGYH (you know it's not Edie though) so maybe if they run a marathon, your curiosity will compel you to tune in and then you'll get hooked on the show, thus triggering a chain reaction where TGYH amasses a cult following. (yeah, yeah , it's not very likely, I realize this)

Here comes Peter Cottontail...snowshoing down the bunny trail

So, it seems to be a 2007 mandate-- precipitation on every holiday. We had a BITCH of a snow squall on Valentine's Day, snow on St Pat's, snow ON EASTER. Mark my words-- we'll have another improbable snowfall on Earth Day (Apr 22) and sleet on Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, of course , will be a bit warmer so I am forecasting torrential rain for then.

Other than the dumbass weather, it was a decent Easter. All calorie conscientiousness & my healthy eating initiatives were quickly defenestrated but I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it. Like Scarlett said..tomorrow is another day. There's no avoiding these derailments when you're trying to be good (in anything) the important thing is to be sure to jump back on track shortly thereafter. PERSEVERANCE is to be my mantra. (easier to maintain a mantra if you limit it to one or two words, y'know...won't tax the memory).

My Easter eggs came out rather hideously this year. YES, I still dye Easter eggs. I have for many moons now and cannot quit it. Holiday tradition is like smack to me. It was all I could do to stop leaving out "Santa snacks" on Christmas Eve (4 or 5 years ago).

I realize this has been a gripey post but it truly was a good Easter. The bad points (ooh, for instance, I forgot to mention that, for the first time in our family's history, there was a horrible gravy mishap and the gravy was TERRIBLE. And the ham gravy especially is sooo delish & vastly superior to turkey gravy that I KNOW I woulda remembered if we'd ever had a gravy disaster on Christmas or Easter (ham holidays) before) were relatively few and the overall day was just pleasant in a quiet, unspectacular way.

note to self...

..TREAD CAREFULLY IN THE SHOWER!!!

When I got home Thursday after work.... I step through the door and hear an alarm I've never heard before sounding from within my abode. Now even though I can't see or smell any smoke, I immediately think,"Fuck! The place is on fire!" (the roof! the roof! the roof is on fire! WE DON'T NEED NO WATER LET THE MUTHAFUCKA BURRRRRN!!) I soon surmised that it was not the fire alarm going off. I followed the sound and wound up in the bathroom...where I found that my shower radio had un-suctioned itself from the shower stall wall, fallen, and landed right on the "ALARM" button. The big red button that will--presumably--beckon the much-needed aid when I (God forbid) slip in the shower and Humpty-Dumptyfy my skull. That alarm button.
I'm thinking , "How long has this f-er been going off and nobody's responded?" Ok, to be fair to my landlords, they were not home when I got in, so possibly they left before the thing ever started going off. Also, I didn't even hear the alarm until I stepped into my apartment. Nevertheless, I was distressed by this image of an alternate reality where I've actually fallen in the shower, but I have the presence of mind to hit my stupid shower radio ALARM button on the way down, and I'm somehow incapacitated, a pathetic, nakey heap on my shower floor (prone, down amongst all the wet tumbleweeds of my own hair that I'm too lazy to clean outta there) and tragically clinging to false hope. Oh, somebody is probably running to investigate this odd, shrill alarm now. Ok, now they're probably just hearing the shower radio alarm...will probably try calling me on the phone soon. Surely, somebody is hearing this alarm? Neighborhood dogs, maybe? But y'know on the other hand, I don't like the idea of being rescued from a shower accident by anybody. Particularly by any member of my neighboring landlord fam (*shudders*) I could probably subsist on water (because I didn't get to turn it off...I was too busy making sure to hit my shower radio alarm button, y'see? I can only multi-task so much whilest falling down to shatter my femur) and shredded wheat-like bundles of my own hair until I healed up somewhat. Healed up enough to hobble to my vehicle and hasten to an ER. But still it vexes me that that alarm button probably added somewhat to the retail price of my shower radio, and therefore I paid extra for a feature that is not just totally useless, but it's actually been DETRIMENTAL to me by giving me a false sense of security. But, since I'm pretty sure I paid less than $10 for the thing, this falls under "mildly vexed" rather than my usual "mightily vexed".

I am glad that my mother would never read this blog (as she is not quite sure what an internet does) because if she read such things, she would commence to fretting her ass off and might possibly outfit me with a Life Alert necklace.

John Singer Sargent

I was doing a PC desktop makeover the other day--searching for something spring-y/Easterish and I happened upon The Art Renewal Ctr's GINORMOUS section of John Singer Sargent work. (The ARC , by the way, is a terrif site, very high up on my faves list). I'd heard of Sargent before, of course, but didn't realize until the other day that I rather dig his stuff. Plus, I'd had no idea he was such an accomplished chap. The ARC lists him as an "American painter, sculptor, draftsman, portraitist, muralist, watercolorist & guitarist ". The guitar too, eh? Sheeesh, overachieve much there, guy? Anyways, was taken with a lot of his work, and for my spring-y desktop image I went with this one.

Considering the whack weather these past 2 days, methinks it mighta been premature to run with a spring motif, but ohhh well.

Sargent's principal schtick was portraits, and he did lots of famous people: Claude Monet, Henry James, and Teddy Roosevelt to name a few. I was particularly intrigued by this portrait. It's interesting how they're standing... the wife is out front and, accordingly, is projecting a very lively, outgoing air with her grin and her hand on her hip like that. But then the husband is in the background a bit and rather obscured by shadows-- which I suppose one could interpret in a grim way...like he is LOOMING there, like some brooding Blackbeard figure. However, I suspect it was more like a marriage of opposites sort of deal, where he balanced her vivaciousness and extroversion by being more soft-spoken, behind-the-scenes type hubby. Yinned her yang, so to speak. Sad (but bittersweet) backstory here, I actually read up on the subjects (he's an interesting dude in his own right, an architect who designed a lot of stuff in NYC) namely Mr & Mrs Isaac Newton Phelps-Stokes . According to this City Journal article -" In the 1930s, however, a series of strokes had left her speechless and paralyzed. Stokes nevertheless persisted in his belief that her mental faculties remained intact, and for the four or five years left to her he spent most of his time at her bedside, reading to her and telling her jokes, and wheeling her through Central Park."

I know, right?? Awful but beautiful. When you look at the portrait in light of those facts, it kind of takes on a deeper meaning. It made it seem very poignant to me anyways.

By the way, I apologize for writing a post about art and then not having any pictures in it. Kind of lame of me. But my pic posting skills seem to be on the fritz these days, therefore this blog is taking an image hiatus for a bit....until whatever time Blogger sees fit to stop being a petulant beee-yotch. Again--sorry!!

Up yer nose with a rubber hose!!!

And speaking of up your nose...

Oh my. Ick.

I want ESPN Classic!!

I may even have it. I dunno. I have basic (pirated) Adelphia cable, and there's a bunch of sports related channels in the 20s that I fly by in my channel surfing. I will have to flip through the 20s more slowly and/or consult the TV Guide channel and see if I do have ESPN Classic.

Now perhaps you're wondering--WHY on Earth would a person who is wholly indifferent to sports wish to watch ESPN Classic? Well first I would respond that that is a rather sweeping statement, it would be more accurate to say I am indifferent toward most sports. And then after I corrected you, I would answer that my entire motive for wanting ESPN Classic on my telly is : AMERICAN GLADIATORS!!!

Duh da da duh duh duuuuh! Da-dat-dat-daaaaa! (my typed approximation of that immortal theme music) YEEEEEE HAAW!!

I hadn't realized this show was back on the air (on ESPN Classic) but I serendipitously happened upon an episode while at my parents' casa this weekend. I was transfixed, and elated, and enchanted and nobody could talk to me for the hour. I don't know why I love that show but I DO!! OOoooh do I.

Now I used to watch A.G. but apparently never in 1989. That was the sole year they featured a Gladiator named "Malibu". He was in the ep I caught this weekend, and HOLY GUACAMOLE if I'd seen him before, he woulda stuck in my memory, I assure you. And I do not mean that "Holy Guacamole" in a good way, friends. I wanted to find a picture of the chap to post here, because words cannot aptly describe the laughable monstrosity that is this Malibu's hair. I could not find a picture though....
But I found BETTER ! I found a clip on YouTube with the guy being interviewed about an injury, and that was not a shrewd move for 'bu--talking, I mean-- because the dude's audio is every bit as ridiculous as his visual. He's got a dialectal resemblance to Spicoli or Ted Theodore Logan (a personal favorite of mine) while all the while making those gents seem like two of MENSA's finest. Behold!!

Well, surely I will update y'all either way...if I discover I have ESPN Classic there will be MUCH REJOICING and if not, expect some bitching. Although all would not be lost, as my sister not only has every channel known to man, but also has DVR. Haaa... when I ask her to DVR American Gladiators, she will be all "Say whaaaa? You on crack, bitch?" and I'll be all "YO! Just shut it and DO WHAT I TELLS YOU!" But still, I hope I have ESPN Classic, because I don't want to have to be a meanie (but I WILL).

more potty talk

In our ladies room, here at work, (or rather, the Bldng 4 ladies room that I frequent) there is 1 lone toilet seat cover dispenser for all 4 stalls. It's in the outer bathroom, on the wall, just below the mirror. And I just noticed today, while futzing with my blah coiffure, that aforementioned dispenser is emblazoned with the message "PROVIDED BY THE MANAGEMENT FOR YOUR PROTECTION."

That kind of amused me....it seemed like a miniscule shot of pro-corporate propaganda. The MANAGEMENT provides for you. The MANAGEMENT wants to protect you. The MANAGEMENT would be terribly upset if you got crabs.

Gosh, and I have been so disparaging been to "The Man" all these years. I may need to reevaluate my outlook on things. Could "the Man" who is "always trying keep me down" be the selfsame "Man" who is concerned about my contracting a potty-borne malady?? Could it be?? I'm so confused....

Whilest shopping the other night...

I know, I know, when am I NOT shopping?? It's disgusting!! That's why this past weekend I barely left home. Because leaving the house takes money, and I should be saving, saving, SAVING!! You set off in your car, expending gas, and that requires mucho dinero right there at the outset. And then the $$ tally keeps rising from there. Why, I've got about a hundred books in my "Books-to-Read" queue, I oughtta start making a dent in that!!

But anyways, I was weak the other night (Thurs) and I was shopping. First I went to Borders. I think it's impossible for me to go into Borders and come out empty handed. It is my shopping Achille's heel. I don't recall what it was that particular night that I *HAD* to buy at Borders (doubtless there was something ) but I had, like, a war of the wills in the bathroom. There was somebody in the bathroom when I went in, Lord knows how long they'd been in there. So I select my stall, seize my throne so to speak....and WAIT. I had an indelicately noisy #2 job to execute, but I thought I could, and should, hold off until after this person's exit. Or at least until they flushed. But the bathroom was quiet. They did have music piped in there (always a nice feature in a public bathroom) but not as loud as I'd have liked. Barely a peep from the other occupied stall. I got the feeling that they were doing exactly the same thing I was. I suppose that shows a lack of imagination on my part.... they could have been shooting up heroin, or maybe they didn't want to fork out the cash for the latest Harry Potter book and were opting to read it in store...in the utmost privacy. But none of these scenarios occurred to me at the time. I was thinking...they have a bomb to drop too...they're waiting for me to flush or leave....they're going to have to wait a long time. Ultimately, they didn't really have to wait all that long... I must have sat there for 2 minutes, just long enough for me to conclusively ascertain, that YES, I was in a stand-0ff situation, and then I just let fly. Because, really I'm not all that shy about such things. (shocker,eh??)

After Borders, I did a spot of grocery shopping. Price Chopper, and I was damned relieved that I didn't inadvertantly grab some bargains because I got the cashier dude who not only gives you a perturbed look when he has to swipe the store goodwill Advantage Card, but he also gives you a little lecture about how he's doing this for you --JUST THIS ONCE-- but you really need to go to the Service Desk between 8am and 8pm and fill out a card application. And I smile and nod and my smiley mouth sez "Uh-huh. Mmmm. Ok!" while me brain sez "Uh-huh. OK. Kiss my arse, pal!!" I was picking up some Fantastic World Foods brand organic noodle bowls-- specifically I bought their 3 Onion Noodle & Creamy Potato Leek varieties. A lot of the time I gravitate toward their oriental flavors-- Spicy Thai and some Sesame somethin'-er-other. I was contemplating trying their Hot & Sour soup but I couldn't do it. Although I do -in general-enjoy soups from the Orient and am also continually parrotting that ol' "Don't knock it 'til you try it!!" adage, I have nevertheless not been able to bring myself to try Hot & Sour soup. When getting soup @ a Chinese restaurant, I ALWAYS go w/ the Wonton Soup. Peking Tokyo has some kick-arse Wonton Soup, by the way. Anyways... I am repelled by that name: Hot and Sour Soup. Is that an accurate synopsis of the soup experience? It is hot and it is sour?? That does not sound at all appetizing!!
Another thing that caught my eye (the left one) in Price Chopper--a 4 pack of "Grapples". No, 'tis nothing to do with grapple hooks or the art of grappling (though such product might also intrigue me) . No, these grapples are in the produce section and if the packaging is to believed, they look like apples (ok that bit, I can vouch for, through the transparent plastic case I could see that they did INDEED look like apples) but taste like grapes. That's pretty cool, right? I think so. But necessary?? I don't know about that. Are grapes no longer sexy enough?? Or is it it a more dire case...

Are there new grape predators out there that are being staved off by this disguise ruse? Weird...



Oh, but back to Borders. I am still reeling from this bit of Borders Rewards Club news emailed to me...



Personal shopping days being PHASED OUT?? THE DEVIL YOU SAY!!! Apparently they are replacing them with "Borders bucks" but I am NOT appeased. To gain a shopping day, you only had to spend $50. and now you have to spend $150. in the space of a month to earn just $5 in these infernal "Borders Bucks". I'm not saying I'm not up to the challenge, but I'm still quite miffed about this...

I think I'm overdoing it a bit...

..with the footnotes. It's an ideal device for a tangent-prone writer like myself, but still, I think I've gone a bit footnotes cuckoo.

3/28 Top Design

I forgot to mention last week how relieved I was that Top Design seems to be over their team challenge kick at last.

And now—allow me to dispense with a painful admission re: this most recent episode. I SOOO dug Carisa’s air-inspired hotel suite. That divider was killer and the whole room had a really retro sensibility that I appreciate*. Now it pains me to concede that because I think Carisa is an insufferable bitch (that, I reiterate, in case you were not already aware of my Top Design stance…in case you’d not done the required reading, y’know) And its not just my own indiscriminate cattiness that makes me hate her, it appears on the show that she is universally disliked. In fact, it would not shock me if carpenter Carl nail gunned her down. But (in all fairness) let us not lose sight of the fact that I loved her work this episode. I liked it so much, in fact, that if she had won this challenge, I would not have been pissed off.

But that’s not how it played out…MATT won and of course that didn’t piss me off. Matt’s mah boy and his suite was terrific too. If you are in need of a visual aide...you can check out all four rooms here. (my picture posting skills are inexplicably lacking as of late)

And the bottom 2 – Goil & Andrea--were justly on the chopping block. Overall,I thought Andrea’s suite was worse, but Goil’s was pretty offputting too, mostly on account of his choice in statuary. AAAAGH!! Maybe it’s just me, but I thought that bronze statue was just creepy. I would never stay in a suite that housed that. I’ll bet you could feel its eyes on you when you’re in bed, and the thing looks too heavy to turn around to face the wall.


And so it was buh-bye Goil… which seemingly negates my theory that he is the judges' pet. But I think that I was right but maybe G just fell out of favor when they saw him devolving into this whiny-arse Jan Brady person. Well, he's still a fave of Todd Oldham, anyhow. I took a glance at Todd's blog on the Bravo site and saw where he was gushing about how "magical" Goil is. Too bad for G that Todd's just this non-threatening sensai type figure / bland host on the show and not a judge. They could never let him be a judge...he is too thoroughly benevolent...like the design world's Mr Rogers. "Hello Neighbor! Tell me about this paint color you've chosen!!"
OOOHH the melodrama of Goil's exit!! I am a big proponent of the graceful defeat, and I like to see on these shows...be it Top Design or Project Runway or what have you**...losers who display a little spine and keep their chin up. Well NOT Goil. He was a weepy mess --no shocker there. But what of that remark of his, something to the effect of, "I feel like I was the only designer here who consistently put my heart into EVERY challenge!!" Say whaaa? Oh, no you didn't hyper little goiter-boil! I imagine some of your competitors might take umbrage*** at that statement!!
You know who left very gracefully?? Erik. He showed MUCHO poise. I wish he'd get a second chance (y'know- like they gave to that no talent nutjob Vincent on the last season of Project Runway) because I liked his work (especially on that yard sale challenge) I would've liked to have seen him in the final 3 w/ Matty. Ultimately, I want Matt to win, although I do hope victory doesn't make him go all Sebelia and ditch his darling young family.

*I am so fond of a li'l retro flava, that I actually like some of the rooms featured on this web page. No joke!!! Some of that stuff is terrif!!

**I wanted to say "Star Search" at this juncture, but that's not quite au courant now, is it? I only WISH that was still on the air!

***Umbrage, umbrage, umbrage...just pointing out another vocab coup!

Tutti Fruity, The Lost Jewels of Nabooti

CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE books are back!! Are you not mightily stoked, fellow adventurers? As soon as I learned today about the CYOA resurrection, I became sorta fixated on acquiring some. And I SHALL. Oh yes. I shall. I just gotta pick which exciting titles to purchase. ("The Lost Jewels of Nabooti" is one of the options...in case that subject line was confounding ya) Ostensibly,** I will be buying these books for my niece but... y'know...if any CYOA books found their way into el bano de mi hermana...well, that would be convenient. I am often stinking it up in there and I would like some other reads than Cottage Living for a change, eh?

I had better make up my mind and make my purchase ASAP because this maybe a short-lived revival, since the Vermont based publisher that is re-issuing these seems to be pretty hard up for moolah, as evidenced by their ridiculous efforts to sue Daimler-Chrysler.

Well first off, lemme say that words cannot express how tremendous this swell of pride is that overtakes me when I think that CYOA is being resurrected right here in my home state. YAAAAAY, VT!! Buuuuut, that said, this lawsuit is pretty tacky. I am no professional legal counsel (though I am a DAMNED good amateur fake lawyer) but I say they should totally take Jeep up on the offer to give them a link on their website.

If you....
..Accept Jeep's offer to link to your website on their insanely high traffic website...go to page 32

..Persist in following through with a totally futile and mildly absurd lawsuit...go to page 45

..drop the lawsuit reluctantly and--crushed by failure-- take a mini-sabbatical from publishing in order to stay home, eat lots of Mrs T Perogis, not change out of your pajamas, watch all 3 seasons of Just the Ten of Us on DVD and write a dozen or so creepy fan letters to Rick Springfield....go to page 54

HAAA , HA HAAA I know what you're thinking, jerkies, but I WOULD SO turn to pg 32!!

**This is just to say that I ADORE the word "ostensibly"

grisly news item

THIS bit of news from Down Under (ha ha haa) inspired the below chat....


Now you may have noticed Ms. Robin being conspicuously absent from that conversation. It is most assuredly NOT because I didn't want her to know. Actually, she is quite high up on my list of people to inform whenever I hear of ANY amusingly icky occurrence such as that. But she took off early today. I know what yer thinkin'-- that luckyass sleestack!! I knooow, riiight?

Well I made sure I gave her a hard time about it though...

small talk

I am not a fan of conventional small talk. I say "conventional" small talk because "small talk" is widely defined as "casual or trivial conversation" and I would NEVER contend that I am against trivial conversation. NEVER! Triviality is my bread & butter!! Well, not really, as that sort of implies that I make $$ from it which I don't. Let's say instead, that I THRIVE on trivial, superficial, chatter. But what it lacks in pith it needs to compensate for in wit, absurdity, or interestingness (which is not a word but I was unable to find a suitable word meaning that)

So, I have a strong distaste for trite talk, then. I was a bit irked by this exchange from Monday, so irked, that I pretty much remember verbatim. It went down like so---

SETTING: Late morning on Monday. I am walking past the cafeteria and Scott is in the cafeteria, perusing the vending machine offerings. I am hoping to slink quietly past the cafeteria and into the ladies room without being seen in order to avoid the obligatory small talk exchange. This is not to be the case. I am spotted.

Scott (boisterously loud, shouting): HOW’S SANDRA TODAY??
Me/Sandra: Eehhh. Not too bad for a Monday, I guess.
Scott (still very boisterous, not so shouty): Well, you never know!!
Me/Sandra (near-shout,with fake boisterousness): YEP!!!


Now, was that not insipid repartee? It only marginally made sense. "Well you never know" I think is meant to mean he's presuming that I lack psychic powers (I do...so, he would be right..) and therefore any unexpected turn of events could come to pass that would , at the very least, turn my frown upside down. Sort of a feeble, sound-bite-sized pep talk? Whatev. I should have left it at "Well, you never know" but at that point, Scott's chipper amiability was making me feel like I should make some sort of effort at cheer, as I was coming off like a real slug (Well I AM very sluggish in the mornings...especially so on a Monday morning. So yeah, I was already aware of my own sluggishness, but I was cool with it as long as I was solitarily sluggish but now I was being pulled into conversation, and imposing my sluggishness on others. I don't wanna bring anybody down!!) So I was trying to impart an enthusiasm that I did not feel and I'm never very good at that. Hence the awkward wrap up.

I don't know what the whole point of sharing that anti-anecdote was. It was a bit similar to those idiotic spreads in US Weekly that proclaim "Stars--They're Just Like Us!!!" (accompanying photos of celebs buying groceries or, on a banner week, picking their nose in traffic). So, perhaps my post title should read "Charming Gorgeous Genius Sandras-- They're Socially Awkward Too!" Naaah. Too wordy.

I suppose it's terribly dysfunctional for me to wish that people would just NOT talk to me in the morning?

I LIKE FOOT NOTES AND INTEND TO USE THEM MORE FREQUENTLY.

That is all until tomorrow. Good day...

my first ever post w/ a footnote!

I had a good time Friday night when the gang went out to Margaritas. My only gripe was that I got a coupla coconut 'ritas in me and got primed for more carousing but then... our li'l dinner soiree broke up at 8:30pm and there was no carousing to be had. All my amigas were headed home to attend to their dogs and/or boyfriends and I, wanting to hit the bars but incapable of doing so sans posse, wiled away an hour at Borders and then went home and watched Timeline. It was a somewhat glum cap on an overall fun evening. I mean there are worse ways to cap off a fun evening...say, getting in a head on collision with a semi on your way home...so now I'm even thinking "somewhat glum" is too strongly negative. A bittersweet ending to a fun evening...maybe that's what I meant.

Timeline, let me forewarn you, is a pungent turd of a movie. I am very glad that I bought a used copy for pequeno dinero ($2.99 to be specific) . I bought it expressly for a Gerard Butler fix and in that capacity, it was worth 3 bucks. But Ger was the ONLY redeeming thing in that flick. And it was Ger in medieval threads for much of the movie, which I found especially redeeming. But other than that-- bah. Definitely skippable. I don't wanna say Paul Walker CAN'T act...being present-tensed, that judgement may be unfair of me. I do try to give the benefit of the doubt, you know. It's quite possible that the chap's improved since 2003. But watching him in Timeline...even a big benefit-of-the-doubt proponent like myself couldn't help but pan his performance. He made me feel like I was watching a sci-fi prequel to Meet The Deedles , it was like he was playing the exact same guy. Which is to say it was, uhhh, less than nuanced, fairly amateurish work.**


One action flick that I should definitely invest in--used or new-- is Reign of Fire. Now I'm usually not an action movie buff, but I do make exceptions when I find one or more of the leads exceptionally alluring. Now you'll recall, a while back , that I prophesied that a movie starring Christian Bale, Clive Owen & Gerard Butler would be THE GREATEST CINEMATIC ENDEAVOR OF ALL TIME. Well, I don't think I used that exact phrase, but I did get all schmoopy over the hypothetical notion of it. Ideally, that movie would be a musical (old hat for Bale & Butler, Clive is the only one who would require training) but with such casting I could never be obstinate about genre. Minor quibble. Anyhow, Reign of Fire is 1 fox shy of being the greatest cinematic endeavor of all time.



...with both Christian Bale & Gerard Butler starring. And everybody all handsomely gritty and in post apocolyptic future threads which, in this film's vision, do not differ greatly from medieval threads. So, bonus there. Oh, and Matthew McConaughey is in there too, and he ain't too shabby. File him under "bonus" also. But the pisser of it is , Gerard Butler has only a minor presence in the flick, actually if I recall correctly ( I have seen it, I rented it 4 or 5 years ago when it first came out ) he gets bumped off fairly early on in the story. Damned flying dragons!!

**I was just going to leave my criticism at the Deedles comparison, but then thought better of it. I mean, if anybody were to read that, and hadn't seen Meet The Deedles, and couldn't ascertain exactly what I meant by that jab, if they grew so curious that they had to rent or, god forbid, BUY Meet The Deedles in order to compare, well, I couldn't live with the guilt. I would feel personally responsible for 2 hours of that poor schmoes life gone irretrievably to waste. Hence the quickie descriptive addendum.

Monday morning fun

My car wouldn't start this morning. It would turn over but it wouldn't "catch". I guess the lucky part about it is that I'd stayed over at my folks' (laundry day went into OT) and I was able to borrow their car and get to work (relatively) on time. But that's just me "glad-gaming" the situation, trying to take the high road, and all the while eyeballing this inviting miasmic swamp of self-pity that I would like to sink into and wallow about in for a spell. No..no! Self-pitying & griping-BAD. Polly-anna--GOOD.

But DAAAAMN IT! Allow me just the briefest of detours from the high road, wouldja? I just hafta say how I WISH I was obscenely rich. I wish I had that disgusting sort of lifestyle where if one of my fleet of cars didn't start in the morning, well I would just take my Jag instead of the Mercedes, and one of the staff might call out "And what about the Mercedes , ma'am? Shall I ring for a tow truck?" and I would say "FUCK THAT! Dump a load of mulch in there, we're turning it into a planter!" Nawww, just kidding. I would not be THAT ridiculous if I were rich. But maybe I'd say " Oh THAT. I'd nearly forgot. Well whatev. If you want to deal with the hassle of getting it fixed, Jeeves, you can HAVE the damn car! Ciao!"

But such is not my lot in life and I AM fairly vexed about my vehicular woes, but trying to be a good sport/not stress about it. I do like everything happening at the apropos time (ie: breakfast food only in the a.m., Christmas carols only between 11/15--1/6, etc) and I suppose a Monday morning is the absolute perfect time for my car to crap out on me. And crap out on me all suddenly & inexplicably like too. Terrif. My dad asked me if I'd had trouble with it and I said it had been running absolutely fine, but then he gave me a bit of a doubting expression, as if to infer that maybe I'd been an inattentive owner, hadn't been "listening" to my car and missed some vital clues. It HAS been running fine damn it!!

Oy vey. I should've had some beers at lunch, methinks.

retail quandary -- UPDATE

So I caved and bought the Coty powder. No oversized poofy powderpuff as yet, but I continue that search. In the interim, I shall apply with my large powder brush. Wearing said powder today and am pleased.

I'm sure y'all are immensely grateful for the update... the suspense, I am sure, was driving you bonkers.

of composers and colonists...

Tuesday night TV is DULLSVILLE these days, maaaan. So it follows that I couldn't find anything satisfactory on the telly last night. And so I wound up watching Terence Malick's "The New World". I definitely liked it, although I suspect you shouldn't take my word for it. Christian Bale played John Rolfe, so right there that makes me wildly biased. I'm trying to hypothesize-- in an alternate universe..."The New World" as a totally Christian Bale free flick.... would I have said I liked it? I really am not sure.

What I do know is that Q'Orianka Kilcher (who played Pocahontas/Rebecca) is definitely in the running for the title "Luckiest 14 Yr old Girl of all Time". Not that she's 14 anymore, but she was when she filmed this and on this shoot, her first really notable acting gig, she got to kiss Colin Farrell and CHRISTIAN BALE. Q'Orianka must be Esperanto for "INSANELY good karma" or something along those lines. I'm not usually much of a Colin Farrell fan either, but he looked pretty damn good in The New World. He should play Capt John Smith in EVERY movie....as opposed to like, doing more movies where he's shut up in a phone booth with greasy hair.

March 21st I noticed today, is the birthdate of quite a lot of composers--

Hermann Finck-- German composer-- born 3/21/1527: I confess--never heard of him & I've no idea what he's composed. That said, I have great respect for the guy just the same. I mean, he was a composer in 1527-- immediately that makes him a sort of pioneer in my mind. It couldn't have been easy to pursue creative endeavors in the 16th century, there were lots of chamber pots to empty, and you know, mundane duties like that and certainly people had to be focused on not coming down with a fatal plague or something like that. Life spans were about 50% shorter than today's, so that puts some pretty sucky time constraints on your genius right there.

Johann Sebastian Bach - German composer-- born 3/21/1685: One of the big names... of course I've heard of him. I'd like to think he owes part of his success to Mr. Finck's pioneering in Germanic musicology over a century prior (I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. You know this by now, right??)

Modest Petrovich Mussorgsky--Russian composer--born 3/21/1839: In homage to Mussorgsky, I downloaded his terrific Night on Bald Mountain today. You can too, if you go here (it's free!)

Kevin Federline-- American "composer", world renowned skeez, mooch extraordinaire--born 3/21/1978: I realize it seems absurd to class K-Fed with these great men, with a man, for instance, "whose sacred and secular works for choir, orchestra and solo instruments drew together the strands of the Baroque period and brought it to its ultimate maturity" (wikipedia's take on Bach, there). But let us give credit where credit is due, okay? If it weren't for Federline, then I wouldn't know any Portugese....

GRRR! BLAST!!DAGFUCKINGNABBIT!!

!!!OTHER EXCLAMATIONS THAT CONVEY AGGRAVATION HERE!!!

Tech difficulties. Damn you Blogger. Trust, amigos, that I am not intending to post pictures of little red Xs. I'll see if I can get this fixed in the a.m.

Later gators...

chitty chatty bang BANG!!

Yep, another one o' these...
Not sure why I keep posting IMs... I suppose it's because I enjoy the chats and hate to think of them dissipating into the ether forever come 5pm. Yeah, sometimes it seems the departmental rapport is the chief benefit to having this particular job...that and the occasional free tee shirt. It sure as hell ain't the pay...

ANY WHOOO... a few key points that will make this chat clearer--
1. it all started because Mags sent out an email to all of us about something Lisa did wrong. Her subject line for the thing was "Here's Why We need to Tell it like it is" And that bothered me on a few different levels. The most vexing thing was that arbitrary and grammatically whack capitalization in the subject line. Grammatic carelessness always irks me but I find it particularly bothersome when a supervisor, who gets more $$$ than I do, displays the writing savvy of a 7th grader. AAArgh!! I would much rather have people "shout" at me in all caps than To have them Type like This.
Also the concept of us "telling it like it is" is just plain ridiculous. We are encouraged on a daily basis to NOT tell it like it is. Robin and I were laughing about this " telling it like it is" notion and talking about all the chaos that would ensue if we simply stopped lying to customers.
2. I had boiled dinner leftovers for lunch.. . my sister's this time not the stuff I got from Lisa. Lisa's set better with me than Laura's did. Probably you can surmise from some of my yuckily graphic remarks (sorry...'tis just how I roll, amigos) that today's leftovers uhhh..disagreed with me.
3. Laurel/ L-dub has an amazing talent for these tremendous "valley rattler" belches. Which is interesting, because she's just a wisp of a gal..oh well, that's understating things. .L-dub makes Nicole Richie look like a heifer. It's been my experience that skinny girls will often surprise you with the most promising belching skills. I tell Laurel her belches are endearing. And honestly they do not gross me out like they would if erupting from somebody else's gullet. And usually after each belch, (while 9/10 of the office recoils in horror) I will respond "Awwwww.."
4. Robin is presently doing this 3day diet thingie that J-Beau did a while back. He printed the "plan" out for her and this is the 2nd time she's done it. She lost 5lbs when she did it before, but I can't see how such a thing would play out in the long-run. I mean, you can't do it forever, y'know? Such a horrid exercise in self-denial too...
5. We are going out to Margarita's on Friday night. This Mexican restaurant has you fill out your name, address, phone# & b-day on a card, and every month they do a drawing of customers w/ b-days for that month and whomever's slip they pick gets a coupon for a free entree. Well, Robin got picked, which inspired her to propose the field trip. But I'm arguing against her construing it as her birthday celebration. Now I am all for extending holidays (yeah, it's cool w/ birthdays as well as national holidays) but her birthday was on MARCH 7. I'm sorry, kidd-o, but there's got to be a statute of limitations on this shit. I gave you a card & gift back on 3/7 AND you're getting a free meal. I ain't buying you no damn mango-rita. Also, let us not forget that **I** am the center of the universe.
6. Although I do adore Lisa (and she is so kind to me...nicer than I deserve, I'm sure) it's a well-established fact that she is a big dork. This is not a secret I'm hiding from her. I have let her know on numerous occasions. It is also well-established that I consider her dorkiness one of her unique charms. In short , it only serves to further endear her to me (similar to a colossal L-dub belch) However, this fondness for dorkery does NOT necessarily extend to friends of my friends. Savvy? I met this Penny chick once and she nearly bored me into a coma. Plus, if just one out of the office clicque brings an "outsider" , well, I'm sorry to be pessimistic but that WILL f*** up our energy. I will try and be open minded...we shall see...
Oh, and one particular facet of Lisa's dorkery is this hobby of hers of making novelty cakes and cookies and, most famously, gingerbread houses. That hobby, in & of itself , is not dorky, but she is so apt to drone on and on and on about that stuff that it can wear on you. Most definitely! Robin & I will privately lay wagers, when Lisa makes a new friend, on how long it will take her to bring the conversation around to gingerbread houses and/or kooky cakes and then promptly dazzle aforementioned new comrade with a slide show of her masterworks (a Microsoft Office Picture Viewer file she has on her PC. Yep, that's right. I WISH I was kidding) She usually will fit this in within the 1st 2 hours of acquaintance... I think her best time is like, 30 min.
I feel like she needs her own public access TV show.
Anyways, her friend Penny is very much like that, except I don't think it will be cute when she does it. Sorry, Penny.
6. At the end of the chat there, where I'm placing a pretend order, it's because Laurel was on the phone w/ someone named Sandra. She kept saying Sandra over and over (probably she hadn't jotted her name down & it was her way to remember it) so I was answering her.

retail quandary

I was shopping in Kmart last night (I seem to gravitate towards the K on Mon nights, don't I? it seems to me that I do) and was greatly tempted to buy this Coty Airspun loose powder. I was, as usual, heavily influenced by the fact that it was on sale. One thing I like about Kmart sales (or Walmart sales, for that matter) if I may briefly digress, is that unlike values you find while grocery shopping, K/Walmart sales are open to EVERYONE and not just people who carry a particular store card. That always galls me, in the grocery store, where signage will read: " SALE! $2.50 " but then if you're looking closely, you'll see below it, "with AdvatEdge card reg price $2.99" And I don't have any cards. I don't believe in it. I feel like the mere fact of my patronizing their grocery store should render me eligible for ANY and ALL bargains therein. What do you want ,Price Chopper, my blood-scrawled pledge of loyalty, avowing that I don't 2 time you with Shaws? Well, I DO, and I'm certain I would still two-time you if I had a Price Chopper card, only in that scenario I would have a Shaws card coexisting in my purse with my AdvantEdge card. My acceptance of a card would never insure my loyalty (and is that not the point, from the corporate viewpoint?) it would only draw me into the wicked card-ocracy and I would start accruing cards all over town. Maybe I would have an ounce of store-loyalty, however, if you consistently had great bargains that were OPEN TO EVERYBODY and and you didn’t coerce me into cluttering my purse with extraneous plastic. So, you’d think not having a store card anywhere, I'd lose out on a lot of savings. But I don't think I do, because 9 times outta 10 the cashier will end up swiping that card they keep at every register for just such a case as mine. It's like the "goodwill" card. Half the time they look VERY put out for you making them dig out the goodwill card. But I figure, if I aggravate enough cashiers ,and cause them to grumble "why the (*&%$ do we even bother issuing these cards??" I might start some sort of grass roots revolution in the supermarket industry that will topple cardocracy once and for all.


Speaking of toppling and revolutions and the like, has it ever occurred to anyone else that Vladimir Lenin looked an awful lot like Kurtwood "Red Foreman" Smith? Or rather, I should say, Kurtwood Smith looks like Lenin. He just guest starred on the show House (Smith...obviously) and in that role he sported these li'l frameless specs and a goatee and that's when it occurred to me. Consequently I was amused by the notion of Red Foreman as Vladimir Lenin. Imagine that one.. he'd always be all "Tolstoy, you DUMBASS!!" and stuff.


Well, it made me chortle anyhow.



Wow...that was the tangent that WOULD NOT DIE. Back to the powder.... I was also dazzled by the display.. the signage was very deco and featured a drawing of this 30s era beauty applying with this oversized powder puff. And that was the clincher--the powder puff. I did not want this Coty airspun powder without the ideal applicator. I have large powder brushes , also these coaster sized velour lily pad-esque dealies that are for powder. But neither of those are adequate, in my mind. I need to have the foofy, poofy, oversized powder puff (an item which is NOT to be found anywhere in Kmart). The bigger the better...maybe one of thems that you'd see in like a clown routine that will cover your entire face with one pat. To make matters worse, those are powder puffs all over the powder container--and just the sort that I require. Yeah, it's not patterned with exotic albino pears, like I'd thought at first glance. Wow,that's really anticlimactic after being waylaid for a 3000 word tangent on Lenin & my dissatisfaction with grocery stores. Not worth mentioning , really, but seeing as I've committed to this line of rambling, I may as well summate -- I want to buy Coty Airspun Powder but find myself unable to do so until after I have obtained a large-ish and sufficiently poofy powder puff. And once I've got that, I will acquire the powder (and I feel sure the Kmart sale will be over by that time).

So...BLAH...there you have it. Fin.