if music be the food of love play on, Player..

Don't ask me how yammering about food got me thinking about music... possibly because "Food, Glorious, food" is a title from the Oliver! soundtrack. Absolutely LOVE that musical. Speaking of Olivers...Oliver Reed was in that flick...therefore this is as good a time as any to own up to having a bizarre retroactive crush on Oliver Reed (this is late 60s Oliver Reed, mind you, and NOT this fellow). Sure he mighta been a womanizin' drunk, but uniquely attractive nonetheless. Same thing with late 60s/early 70s era Alan Bates...another oddball retroactive celeb crush of mine.

Is that weird? Perhaps mildly so...

But back on the topic of music-- here are some tunes I want to download--

**"Dashboard" by Modest Mouse [check out the song here]
**"O Valencia!" by the Decemberists [I love this song and it's been ricocheting around in my skull lately because one of my TX colleagues is named Valencia and she was supposed to come for a visit this week. It's probably just as well that she couldn't cough up the dinero for her ticket, because I'm apt to have driven her LOCO with continual serenades of this tune...]it's featured on their webpage jukebox if you care to get the song stuck in YOUR head too...
**"In the Air Tonight"by Phil Collins [When Ryan Starr covered it this summer on Rock Star Supernova, it reminded me how much I adore the song-- it's muy intense, so POWERFUL. The original (& greatest) version came on the radio the other night when I was cruising around in my car...I turned it up to window-rattling decibels..also risked going off the road so's I could give my all air drumming along to those couple of awesome explosive percussion parts]
**"I Don't Want to Know" by Mario Winans [I have wanted to download this one for a looong time, but everytime I download I forget it. That would seem to imply that I don't really care too much about acquiring this song. But that is not the case!! I truly DO like it!!]
**"I Thank You" & "La Grange" by ZZ Top [ heard both these songs on Q106 tonight as they were doing Two-for-Tuesdays...come to think of it, 99Rock also does the Two-for-Tuesday thing (2 songs in a row by the same group/artist) I'm curious as to how many radio stations, nation-wide, think they've got a unique gimmick going w/ their Two-for-Tuesday Tuesdays. That would be quite the little research project, that is, if you were of the inclination to undertake sundry research projects in your leisure time. Anyhow, I'm not usually real big on the "classic rock" genre (you know the real blue collar crap of the .38 Special ilk) but there are always exceptions, and a few of these are exceptions are by ZZ Top. "Legs" I like, but as it is the ubiquitous ZZTop hit, it's a trifle played out. I'm fond of "Sharp Dressed Man" partly because it's a decent song but mostly because I totally concur with the message they're puttin' out there... I'm not certain that * every * girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man (but this one is!) But "La Grange" & "I Thank You" both these songs amuse the hell out of me. I don't know which member of ZZ is doing the vocals on "La Grange" but they have this hilarious froggy sort of voice. And that"Aw HAW HAW HAW"--that MAKES the song. They should've made a special Grammy that year for Best Crazy Laugh in a Pop Song just so they coulda given the prize to ZZTop. I don't know how many years (many many years) I just referred to that song as 'The "AWW HAW HAW HAWW Song' I think I only recently learned the proper title of it. But, sadly, like most catchy vocal bits there's not nearly enough of the "AW HAWW HAW HAW" This is similar to there not being enough of the "Go Shawty-ish yo' Birfday" refrain in 50Cent's "In the Club" and probably the Oakridge Boys' "Elvira" could do with a few extra "OW-OOM BOPPA OOOM BOPPA MOW MOW"s in that insanely low bass. Now "I Thank You" is an odd mix of funny and repulsive. The words of the song are all quite intelligible, w/ no overwhelming instrumentals so there is no choice but to listen to the dirty lyrics (title links to lyrics,btw). I have no problem with smut in general, and initially the song gives me fits of juvenile, junior high giggles... but then I think of the ZZTop guys being smutty and I STOP mid chortle... to heave. Almost as violent as my bald-Britney dry heaves. Now, I think the whole ZZTop aesthetic is well known, but in case you're a TOTAL pop culture neophyte, I will provide a visual:


Yeeeeeeeah...pretty ucky, ain't it?

Food, glorious food!

I cooked dinner tonight...wanted to try out one of the recipes in my foxy new cookbook (above) So I made Swiss steak--




Not sure why I was particularly compelled to make "Swiss Steak" I think I heard my Dad waxing nostalgic about how my mum used to make it and how grrrreat it was. Also, I like to dabble in ethnically diverse cuisines and Swiss food was a new challenge. Although, even after making this, I can't quite pinpoint what's all that Swiss about it---seems more Italianate than anything else. I think maybe it's the coating of the steak cubies in flour that's Swiss. Perhaps I shoulda done a whole theme night--Swiss Miss to drink, Swiss Cheese appetizers, imported Swiss chocolate for dessert.... Nawwww, that would be too class projecty. Anyways let me assure you, the steak did NOT look like the steak pictured. It's sort of a kitschy novelty cook book so any food pics in it are the kind of horrific food photography that prevailed in popular cookbooks from the 40s-70s. Anyways it looked good, smelled AMAZING, and tasted pretty yummy too. Of course my Dad had to be 100% candid in his appraisal-- "It's got a really good flavor even if it is a liiiittle bit tough.." And, of course I hafta zero right in on the latter part of this sentence. UGGH. "Constructive criticism" is damned overrated if you ask me. Give me flattery anyday!! Oh, and he went on to say "When your mother used to make this--Ohh!!-- you could cut it with a fork! So tender!" Well, shit, Pa, maybe you used to have sharper forks back in the early 70s. ORRR, maybe you just don't weild them utensils as forcibly as you did in your heyday.
OK sorry, that was brutal, I guess I am a smidge hypersensitive when it comes to my culinary masterworks being slighted. Honestly, the difference in texture is probably on account of my Mom using top round and my recipe calling for cubed chuck steak. CHUCK STEAK. Not sure what part of the moo-moo that comes from, but it just doesn't sound like a cut of meat that can be fork sliced.

In other food news, our office had started a Fat Tuesday tradition in Feb 2006 of having a king cake on Fat Tues. Well this year nobody realized that today was Fat Tues until late morning when Lisa said something. Actually, y'know it was LISA who initiated the king cake tradition last year...she shoulda had her shit together. Anyways it was fun last year, Kevin found the plastic baby in the cake and even though I TOLD him that it was a good luck talisman plastic baby, he pawned it off on me. I guess (according to my wikipedia crash course on king cakes) you can put any sort of trinket you like (the whole king cake tradition seems a little unstructured and too open to interpretation for my liking) but we had the muy pequeno bambino de plastico. I think that's the most popular trinket. The cake Lisa purchased last year was pretty decent-- this ring all iced in Mardi Gras colors WITH WEE PLASTIC BABE INCLUDED AT NO EXTRA COST!! If I recollect clearly, it tasted fairly shitty, but that is NOT what it's all about,folks. So anyways today I was grabbing some groceries on my lunch hour (Swiss Steak ingredients) and asked Lisa where she bought last year's cake and she told me Price Chopper. Now, I was intending to go to Shaw's (just down the road from work) and Price Chopper is across town. I figured, well, if it's something they sell in the Price Chopper store bakery, they probably offer them at the Shaw's bakery too. TRAGICALLY NOT SO!! But I was going to be bummed knowing it was Fat Tuesday and we let our fledgling king cake tradition just DIE. So I decided to "make do". I bought cream puffs and shoved a gummy bear into one of 'em. Pretty damned pathetic. But, just the same, I was very earnest about the whole ridiculous ritual-- I offered the cream puffs at my desk, so that I could supervise the puff selection and ensure that people were not checking them over for gummy bear insertion points and then choosing (or avoiding- depending on their attitude) the special puff. They had to be just grabbed without calculation or preinspection. I was insistent that thing be left entirely up to serendipity...

And so it was. Laurel wound up with the "baby"--she sure could use the good luck. She ate the "baby" and I told her this was not a good thing... I don't know how much of that good luck she'll be able to absorb, after all, stomach acid is pretty tough on good luck, also she will poop much of the good luck out. I have a half a bag of gummies left at my desk so I may give her a replacement. I don't know if she will be able to hang onto it as a Fat Tues souvenir though, that Laurel LOVES gummie bears...

cueball nutball

I know all the world is a-buzzing about this new and not-really-improved look on Britney Spears, and I hate to be trite but...I just had to voice my "Bleeccccch" over this. So..."bleccch!" There you have the one-word vocalization of my dry-heaving over this putrid atrocity. "Blecch" doesn't seem sufficient, but in lieu of a web-cam, it's all I got. It's soo much more effective if you can see the accompanying body language...the lurching and the shuddering and the keeling over and all of that. But you'll just have to trust me...I am dry heaving.

Y'know, generally, I don't think it's necessarily a bad look for a woman to shave her head. When Natalie Portman did it, sure it was for a role (I fear Brit does not have such a good excuse) but she still remained quite lovely. And Sinead O'Conner still rocks a buzzcut like no other. But Britney...Holy Mother of Pete's Dragon, who the hell knew you had so much SKULL under all those extensions? Ew. Eww. EWWW!
This picture immediately brought to my mind's eye this montage of cartoon and comic book villains whose tremendous evil genius is tangibly indicated by a freakishly huge skull. In other words, Britney would do well to eschew Paris Hilton's company and start hanging out with --



BRAINIAC (from Superman)




MOJO JO-JO (from The Powerpuff Girls)



MYRON REDUCTO
(rival counsel on Harvey Birdman)


I know there are more examples out there that I'm forgetting...I feel certain that there's at least one Marvel villain in the evil-genius-personified-by-colossal-cranium club. Anyways, I think she will fit in well with this crew now. She will be able to get them into clubs and VIP rooms heretofore verboten for them, and in turn their gaggle of ginormo-bulbous skulls will slightly detract attention from her own. Lots of smart guys (albeit evil) in this clique...maybe she can get some worthwhile career advice out of them. Maybe she will marry one of 'em!!! (And if they were to procreate--daaaaaaamn! Better have a C-section, girl)
I don't think Brit is harboring genius of any variety in that melon so I really cannot fathom why it is so gigantic and misshapen. The only extraneous skull filling that seems plausible is that it is a big buffer of hot air...in which orange Cheeto dust is ricocheting about.
Anyways, if you can think of any of the cranially-overendowed supervillains that I forgot, let me know tout de suite, s'il vous plaît ....

notes on fried rice

Here's a random opinion for you to chaw on--

PEAS in your fried rice are a good indication that you need to start ordering from a better place. Not like sno-peas or pea pods or anything exotic, I'm talking your average, spherical Green Giant ("ho ho ho") style peas. That, right there, is the mark of mall- caliber Chinese food. Ewww.

Conversely, your premium quality fried rice will have eggy bits in it. Extra onions& green onions - also a nice touch. I think I would eat green onions in anything (that is not a desert).


Maybe it's all the ruminating I'm doing about Chinese New Year, but I've been jonesing lately for Chinese/ Japanese eats. Which is not to say that I'm disappointed in my lunch (braised cabbage w/ onions) because it is delish. But I have been wanting asian grub nonetheless and trying to give in to this yen (ha haaa ha ha ha) only sparingly.

Butterfly in the skyyyy-- I can go twice as hiiiigh!

Today is LeVar Burton's 50th birthday!! Makes me want to cut work to watch Reading Rainbow. You don't know what a tremendous exertion of self-restraint is keeping me in this desk chair. I wouldn't be surprised if I SWOONED from the strain of it.

I suppose LeVar is better known for his role in the miniseries "Roots" and amongst the nerd populace as the kooky shades guy on Star Trek the Next Generation. But I appreciate him for hosting Reading Rainbow. I was talking w/ my sis the other day about how kids today have 100s of TV programs and characters targeted towards them-- all the Playhouse Disney stuff, Nick Jr, etc etc ad infinitum. But when we were kids there was not such an overwhelming abundance. When I stayed home sick from school, it was PBS all day. Slim Goodbody, Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow, and all that ... I must have, over the years, watched quite a lot of Reading Rainbow, because I am utterly incapable of hearing the word "butterfly" without internally launching into the Reading Rainbow theme song.

Here's something new & intriguing I learned about Burton today... he is in the video for Cameo's "Word Up". He plays this 40s noir type detective who is after the lead singer of Cameo for some unspecified offense. Well, they don't explicitly say what the lead singer's crime is, but if you watch the video you'll see it's fairly apparent that LeVar is representing the Fashion Police and is hauling Mr Cameo away for the ATROCITY of wearing a gleaming red codpiece (rightfully so!!)

Also, LeVar was born in Germany. And his Chinese zodiac sign is The Rooster.

Actually that last bit was not in LeVar's (I keep typing LeBar and it makes me chuckle...LEBAR BURTON..huh huh haaa haa) wikipedia bio. Because Chinese New Year is coming up on Feb 18, there's these news items online reporting on how we are about to commence The Year of the Pig. Actually, MSN Astrology proclaims "Welcome to the year of the Fire Pig!" It might amuse me to call someone at midnight Sunday a.m. and yell that and hang up. We'll see....

So, anyways, I was wanting to see if I knew any piggies (well I know several PIGS and I know a lotta hoggers, but that's not in a Chinese zodiacal sense of the term) I tracked down this chart--

because if I knew anyone born in 1911,1923,1935,1947,1959,1971,1983, or 1995 I was going to alert them to 2007 being their year (as of Feb 18) Y'know the last year of the Snake was in 2001 and I remember being somewhat stoked about it. I find it greatly distressing that I have to wait until 2013 to see another Year of the Snake. Do you know how old I will be then?? AAAAAGH! I do not want to will my fingers to type the figure and I don't want to look it on my screen...it's pretty simple math, I'll let you do the calculatin'.

Anyways LeVar is not a Pig, he is a Rooster. A fire Rooster? Beats me. I only have basic, restaurant placemat training when it comes to the Chinese zodiac. For all I know he's a Water Rooster, or a Silly Putty Rooster.

Thurs night TV was compelling as always. The Office was particularly good. I've had a bat home invasion before (multiple times), so all the bat scenes really struck a chord with me. Uggh...just seeing those vile little f-ers on TV makes me criiinge. I thought the scene where Michael showed up at Pam's "art show" was surprisingly sweet, touching, really. I wonder why Jimbo was a no show...did Pam not tell him? Is he being a douchebag just because she's having herself a li'l Roy relapse? Or maybe he's just being your basic oblivious guy...

On Grey's Anatomy, although I was in awe of Izzy's skull-drilling prowess, I was rather irritated with her at the end of the episode. They're all distraught, Meredith on the verge of death, and she makes this lengthy, quasi-inspirational speech about eating butter out of the tub and how George shouldn't have married Callie (and I beg to differ, BTW) That was awful. I prefer Christina's "Welcome to the dead dads club" pep talk to that rambling excerpt from Chicken Soup for the Trite Soul. Now I DID have a real cockle-warming "Awwww" moment, when Sloane came and sat vigil w/ Shephard in the hall. Foxy fellahs in severe emotional distress....Mmmmm.

Well, OBVIOUSLY they're not going to kill off Meredith. I say this not because of the show being named for her, but just because they're making death look so inevitable that her death would consequently be rendered a non shocker. Since all signs are pointing to her kicking the bucket, I feel sure that they're going to bust out the "shocking twist" of her just barely missing said bucket with this proverbial kick. See what I mean, Vern? Personally, I'm indifferent to whether Meredith dies or not. She is so not one of my fave characters. Being new to the show (a viewer only since the Season 2 finale) I didn't know who the guy hanging around with Denny in the afterlife sequence was. Well, I know he was Kyle Chandler in real life, but I didn't know who he was representing in the afterlife/ dream sequence. I just thought "Wow, if that's the Grim Reaper...maybe the whole death deal is not as unpleasant as it's made out to be..." But today one of the guys here filled me in that Chandler was a beau of Mer's in a prev season. Yeah, we were dishing on Grey's Anatomy this a.m. and I find out that this meathead, gym junkie, guy I work with watches the entire ABC Thurs night line up. That's -Grey's, Men In Trees, and Ugly Betty. We were all kind of giving him odd looks, and he's all "What??" And I had to break the news to him that he has a thing for chick shows. He really didn't know. Or he put up a very good facade of not knowing...

EBP & PTB

I actually went to work for most of the day yesterday. The damn snow was as high as a brontosaurus’s eye but I came in anyway. How INSANELY dedicated am I ?? I just felt like I’d used up my snow day back in January…plus my St Christopher’s medal stayed intact when I slipped it on , therefore I really had no reason to not come in. But then at about 11:30 my boss said that people were free to go early if they wanted because of the icky weather. Boy, for them to liberate the workers early...not unprecedented, but highly irregular. Perhaps a mandate was handed down from the governor? So anyways, I left at 2pm, caught a ride home w/ my bro-in-law, crashed at their casa and got a ride in this a.m. It was convenient up until I had to dig my car out this a.m. (I didn't hafta go anywhere, but Greg got me here early and I figured digging out before work would be better than doing so in the dark @ 5:30pm)
Tues night I flipped back and forth between the Westminster Kennel Club dog show (part II) and Gary Gulman on Comedy Central. Gary was my pick to win season 2 of Last Comic Standing...but he didn't win, and I kinda feel responsible. He's a g-d RIOT, and it was probably just my rooting for him that caused his defeat...my hearty support was somehow infected by my inherent shitty luck...and it jinxed the whole thing for him. Poor Gary. I just love him (and that's not the guilt talking). The guy had an hour long stand up special, and I think he spent about 3/4 of the time raving about cookies. What's not to love, right?? As if that wasn't sufficiently magnificent, he closed his set by publicly defending the song "Ice Ice Baby". So y'see it's more than just laughs for me, it's the profound contentment of finding a kindred soul. And laughs.

Ok .. speaking of guilty pleasure tuneage...I'm right this minute listening to Color Me Badd ("I Adore Mi Amor" to be specific). I never realized before this listen today that there is like a whole verse in Spanish. Hmm. Perhaps it was unfair of me to dismiss these gents as illiterate clods simply because they cannot spell "bad". They're kinda bending the rules by playing this one on the 80s Love Song station, though. Came out in '91 (as I'm sure you well know...)

Jumping back to the topic of Tues night TV though... I was very pleased that James, the English Springer Spaniel took home the Best-in-Show prize at the WKC dog show. There were several contenders I was not too keen on. First off the Dandie Dinmont Terrior--- Harry-Ethel Huxtable. Even worse than that ugly, there were TWO poodles (1 Toy, 1 Standard) up for Best in Show. I hear poodles are supposed to be extremely smart dogs... whatev, I don't care if they're MENSA smart, I hate poodles. They're like topiary-wearing rats. Ugh. James was cute though. Check it out, homes...





At lunch, on my way to the cafeteria to procure a meatloaf sammich from the vending machine (it was better than you're presuming it was!) I passed by our interim IT guy, and I reflected that it's too damn bad he's leaving us soon now that I've devised a great code name for him. We had an IT dude for years that I christened "Beans"...well originally, the nickname was "Greenbeans" but that became too syllabically cumbersome for me so I shortened it to "Beans" or the occasional "Beansie". Well, he left in...November, I think it was. Which bummed me out, 'cause I liked Beans, he let me mock & pester him and for me that is very crucial coworker criterion. Then they hired on a temp, and after a suitable mourning period for Beans, I realized that the IT Temp was commendably open to jest. But the pisser was, they were just keeping him on until they found a permanent hire. He applied for the job and was told he wasn't "qualified enough" for the gig (long term). Well they hired some bland (but sufficiently qualified) dude back in Jan, but the temp is still here. I presume they're in a transition period and he's just showing the permanent hire the ropes. Ideally, though the vacuous ninnies over at corporate finally realized that the IT post here really requires 2 people and they're coughing up the moolah to employ both of 'em. I highly doubt that though.

Anyways, about that code name... I don't say nickname, because while I always called Beans "Beans" I would never call this guy EBP to his face (just while IMing Robin & Laurel) because then I would have to explain it and that would embarrass me and/or him. He came around one day to do something to our PCs and I went around loitering while he sat at my desk and did his thing. He was there only briefly--less than 5minutes-- but when I reclaimed my chair it was inordinately warm. I mean, it was not your natural "Huh. Someone was just sitting in my chair." warm, it was a lot like sitting on a large hand warmer. Although that's now how I described it to Robin at the time. Because of course, I IMed her immediately. I was taken aback y'see -- I felt like I was witness to some new scientific phenomena. Anyways , (short story LONG) I was trying to convey the experience and I wrote to her "IT'S LIKE THE MAN WEARS ELECTRIC BLANKET PANTS!!" And a code name was born. Well, "Electric-Blanket-Pants" is obviously too damn long, so it was originally "EB Pants" (which, if I didn't know the backstory myself, I would take to mean Easter Bunny Pants. Which is cute. Although puzzling...) But that soon grew too unweildy, so we acronymized it--EBP. I wish they'd keep EBP on...his successor really seems like a snooze. I will probably have to refer to him by his actual name.

While on the topic of my juvenile code-naming of people... I saw the acronym PTB on a fax last week and it was an amusing blast-from-the-past por moi. Instantly I was taken back to junior year at CSC, where in our dorm lived the nefarious Psycho Tent Boy...well he sometimes lived in the dorm...sometimes in a tent outside the dorm...sometimes the tent was moved inside....in either setting, the psycho part applied. I used to refer to him as PTB ...not to his face...I think I generally avoided saying anything to his face if I recollect correctly...

handicrafts

I crafted one of these this weekend. From this actual kit (pictured left) which I bought for 50% off at the Dartmouth Book Store a coupla weekends back.

My first ever sock dude is seriously screwed up... stomach all bowed out with his arms coming out of his back...sort of the same bearing as Fred Sanford. (I think I shall name him Sanford, actually) But he has his adorable features-- lovely button eyes and a well stitched tongue. I'm now working on my sophomore sock monster effort. It's handy to be doing a sock monster rather than the more traditional sock monkey....because if it comes out all f-ed up & deformed you can plausibly insist ,"Oh that was completely intentional. I was trying to make him MONSTROUS"

Kibbles & Bits & JELLO PUDDING POPS

THIS DOG won the terrier group at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. He is a 6yr old Dandie Dinmont Terrier named Harry. It's generally not my custom to report on the latest scintillating dog show results, but this particular winner got his own headline on the MSN homepage...due to his celebrity ownership (he is Bill Cosby's doggy). OOOhh the unjust preferential treatment! Just kidding...I didn't watch the WKC show, but I'm sure ol' Harry performed commendably. But geez..leave it to the Coz to pick out a dog that looks like an old lady fresh from the hairdresser's. He doesn't look one bit like a "Harry" he looks like an "Ethel". Nope..does not surprise me in the least that Coz would own such an UNpulchritudinous pooch...I mean, look at those hideous sweaters.


If ever anyone wanted to spend some beaucoup bucks on me and get me a doggy (perhaps that sounds improbable..but suppose you won the Powerball... surely you would be in a most generous frame of mind...possibly compelled to gift to me an "I'm-s0rry-I-won-Powerball-and-you-didn't" consolation prize) you could get me one of these breeds-


Irish Wolfhound

Otterhound
Newfoundland

Honestly, I would be happy with a mutt, but c'mon, you just won POWERBALL, I think you can cough up the moolah for a purebred. Oh, and, additionally, I will require new lodgings. Something rent free for me with lots of acreage for the pooch to run wild on.

autopsies, paternity tests, political scandal...oh my

This is not your run-of-the-mill celeb demise. Instead it's all playing out like a choice Jerry Springer episode. I read today that not only is Anna Nicole posthumously disgracing Bahaman housing officials but in a truly surreal development, it seems she is busting up Zsa Zsa Gabor's marriage. Say WHA?? Why is this Prince Freddy just now coming forward to say this baby is apt to be his? I believe it to be public knowledge that said baby was born like ,5 MONTHS AGO. I can only guess that Prince Freddy has been very wistfully observing the Anna Nicole media circus and sighed as he thought to himself:"I remember when Zsa Zsa used to be in the news. How I miss her crazy bitch diva days of DUI and cop slapping..life has been so dull since she got tame & senile..." and then inspiration struck "Heeeey...I met Anna Nicole at an Arby's opening back in 1995... I bet I can parlay that into a fictitious decade long secret affair...they'll all believe me...that nutjob banged anything!!"

Ok that was mean... maybe the affair is not entirely fictitious. I'm just reeling from the BIZARR-O-NESS of it all. I was also rather charmed by the "prince" saying "I am going to make the DNA test." or at least, that's how the AP quoted him. How long has this guy been speaking English?? At least 5 years, right? Apparently if you are faux German royalty, nobody dares contradict your f***ed up grammar. But he's a pretty dashing gent , is he not? In kind of a Ricardo Montalban way?? Hmm?

HELLO! Is it me you're looking for???

I've been listening today to Yahoo Radio's 80s Love Songs channel. Usually I tune into their Showtunes channel but I felt like a switch today. Maybe I was inspired by Valentine's Day bein' just around the corner. I do tend to get into the spirit of Valentine's Day, though I can't fathom why. I fully realize that Valentine's Day is going to be just another Wednesday (and Hump Day in name only). But for some inexplicable reason, I like Valentine's Day. I can't decide whether I'm a sick masochist or an insane romantic. I'm sure it could be both.
Anyways, I am rather enjoying this station and hope it is not a seasonal dealie like Shamrock shakes (except not at McDonalds...and for Valentine's Day not St Patty's Day...but you catch my drift) Here are some fabulous songs I've heard since tuning in...
*Father Figure/ George Michael
*Hello / Lionel Richie (MAGNIFICENTLY cheesy...stuck in my head since about 9am)
*Eternal Flame/ the Bangles (I like singing along to this one...especially belting out the "Say my name..sun shines through the rain!" bit. I have a feeling, that if I were patronizing a place where karaoke was happening (that rarely ever happens, praise the Lord) and "Eternal Flame" was a karaoke menu choice, and I had imbibed sufficiently, then I could embarrass myself in a SPECTACULAR fashion)
* Glory of Love /Peter Ceterra (y'know, before today I had not realized that this song was solo-Ceterra...I had thought it was one of numerous schmaltzy offerings in Chicago's schmaltzy period)
*Love Song & Pictures of You /The Cure ( I love me some Cure...good for what ails ya. HA HAHAAAA pun intended there..)
*The Promise/When In Rome
*Careless Whisper /Wham!

Exotic num-nums!!!

I had Chicken Pad Thai & Veggie Gyozas for lunch today. Mmmm mmm yummers. Everything was quite satisfactory (even if the leftovers are stinkin' up my cubicle)

Gotta jet now... will try to post more later. Ciao!!

"Hi, I'm uhhh.. calling to cancel my TrimSpa order.."

..'cause it's probably not going to mix well with all that methadone I've been taking.

Just like the crazy astronaut story, I heard the chattering about this one before spotting the MSN.com headline. I get off the phone, and I hear J-Beau, my cubicle neighbor to the north, saying, "HOLY SHIT, and she just had a son die, didn't she?? And now she's DEAD?" I knew right off what the news was. Seems like Anna Nicole had been in the headlines all the time lately --and not much in the way of good news either-- paternity tests, law suits...oy vey. I wonder if perhaps this was intentional...

Well...yeah...uhh, HOLY SHIT is right. J-Beau voiced my own sentiments precisely. It reminds me of when I read about the split up of the Federline marriage. Well, obviously this is a WAAAY more tragic occurance. But it does remind me of that because it's another completely unsurprising thing that shocked the hell out of me.

Top Design

From 9pm-11pm, I took time out from my all-night Dickens homage, to catch myself up on the latest greatest Bravo reality TV offering-- Top Design. I was peeved that I missed its premiere last week, but Bravo very kindly re-ran the previous eppy before this week's (as is the Bravo custom...I LOVE them for that, btw). So I am all caught up...and HERE be my thoughts on the show. Every last, minute, trivial one of 'em...

The Designers--
check here for bios and pics of the rooms ...

Heather- First axed, along with Lisa "mother of Storm" ... I didn't really get a sense of her design style, because it really seemed like she let Lisa dominate their first & last project. Her bio on the Bravo site though, says she has a "historical & progressive" design style. That might've been interesting... too bad she's out of the game. Incidentally, I really liked the dress she wore on her last episode. Great pattern there.

Goil- Such an unfortunate, unfortunate name. Not sure what it means in Thailand, but it sure sounds to me like the unsightly hybrid of a goiter and a boil. Ewww. But what's in a name, eh? Because this guy's really clever. (although, enough with the peppers, eh?) I think he's truly creative and will go far. Let's hope so, because he's such a sweet little goiter-boil and seems to really want this.

Ryan- What was wrong with his oceanside feline-centric bedroom?? I REALLY liked it!! These judges are whack for putting it down. I will concede that the bed was probably dangerous, but she probably LOVED it. Besides, there's only about a million or so kids who slumber dangerously every night on the top bunk of a bunk bed. I'm not sure, at this early stage, who my singular numero uno favorite is, but right now Ryan's in my group of favorites. I think he eschews the tried & true (and SAFE) interior design conventions, and I dig that.

Elizabeth- I like her too...her soccer room was pretty cool. And y'know just 'cause that dim-witted jock boy didn't immediately know what those buckets were for doesn't mean it was a bad idea. I liked the buckets. And probably that stupid kid woulda too if someone had explained them to him.
Also, I also must gripe about how lame-o I think it is that the winners of the inaugural challenge (that'd be Liz & Goiter-Boil) won a measly $100. addition to their budget. C'mon Bravo...you guys ain't hurting for dinero...how about an extra thou each??

Carisa- I wasn't crazy about her first room, but her jungle bedroom was pretty rad. From the season preview reel, it looks like she may prove to be a Type A spazz in future eps.

John- Gee... after his bummer of an admission at the start of Episode 2, I kinda felt bad for thinking he was such a tremendous douchebag in episode 1. For about 3 minutes. And then he proceeded to be more of a douchebag. I thought it was funny, in episode 1, how he was soooo aggravated with having a bunch of "queens" for roomies, and groused that he might as well have been living with the girls. But then when the mystery client was revealed to be Alexis Arquette...he was just absolutely delighted. "She just ROCKS!" he gushed (or something like that). Anybody else note a paradox here, or is just moi??
Anyways, repugnant personality aside, I was actually disappointed by his Episode 2 elimination. Yeah, his floor was unfinished, but you could see where he was going with his design and it wasn't heinous. It certainly wasn't my favorite design, but it was NOT as putrid as Michael's.
Andrea- Her collaberation room (Ep1) was good, but how much of that was Ryan's vision? I dunno. I wasn't crazy about her kid's bedroom though. I mean it wasn't ugly, but just looking at the room, I would never think a kid slept there. Wowie wow--a working Murphy bed. Big deal. And why is she needing to push her bed up into the wall? This isn't supposed to be a studio apartment for a 10 year old is it?
And thus far, I am soooo not getting the punk rock vibe from this chick. (Her bio sez "Andrea is a self-proclaimed punk rocker, and she prefers to live by the fringe and often dyes her hair pink" Surrrrre. If you say so..)
Matt- I like this guy. Maybe it's only due to my sentimentality & being charmed about his comment about picking out jack-o-lantern pumpkins with his daughter. But I did love his Ep 2 offering. I didn't really think the black cloth was the big deal that the judges made it out to be. I thought Felicia's room was way more dour. And how awesome was that wall lighting?? Plus that girl seemed to absolutely love her room...
Felicia- Her 1st episode room was very good I thought. I liked the bench and the round table and the art work. But that 2nd room? Bleeccch! One of the judge's comments was right on the mark--- that it looked like a nice hotel room. Very sober. It was posh, but too blah & drab to be a kid's room. For some reason, the judges glossed over this point, I guess because they were SOOO delightedly in awe of her brilliant, innovative, turn-the-bed-around-sideways move (Holy sh**..pure GENIUS!!).
Michael- I could not take sides in the brief but explosive Michael-John war, because they are both SUPERHUMANLY ANNOYING. Oh, Michael has got his own distinct brand of annoying but annoying (as hell) he is. And I couldn't agree more with the judges' assessment of his room. It did look like a room in a nursing home. Although the pillow didn't singularly offend me (the wall color + the art pieces really made the geriatric effect for me) like it did everyone else. However, I was sorta offended, when they asked Mikey where he acquired the item, he goes "It's a department store pillow!!" with such bravado...as if it is some kind of tremendous feat of resourcefulness that he found anything of merit in (*shudder*) a department store. Not all that miraculous-- you guys were shopping in TARGET after all (wonder if anybody picked up pieces from the Oldham line??)
Lisa- Distracting hair. Reminded me of Storm from the X-Men...except middle aged (hence my earlier "mother of Storm" crack)
I think I would've liked that "Chinese wedding bed" if it had different bedding on it. I am no a fan of Oriental decor (overall, I hated their room) but I liked that piece. I like that it was ornate & old fashioned looking. I would like to see more of that... I would love to see some design with an art nouveau feel about it, but with this crew I don't think that will happen unless it's a specific challenge they're assigned. Everybody seems to be pretty contemporary no matter how diverse a group the Bravo write-up claims they recruited.
Erik- Yo-HO , Yo ho, a pirate's life for me! There was no doubt that that room was over the top, but who cares? His client was craaaazy about it...and the attention to detail, vision, and sheer effort he displayed on that challenge....well, I think his win was justified (obviously)

Thoughts on the show in general--
Todd Oldham-- I didn't think there could exist a host that would make me yearn for that wench Heidi Klum but...ZZZzzzzzz. Todd Oldham may be a terrific designer, but he's the TV personality equivalent of a rice cake. I think, if they want to keep the bloke on as host, y'know, for his design cred, then it would behoove them to invest in the creation of an animatronic Todd Oldham cyborg that will be able to deliver a more life-like performance. I do so enjoy the word "behoove" by the way.
THE WHITE ROOM-- now, I don't go looking for black curtains in every room that happens to be white, but when I encounter a white room that is pointedly called "the white room" that is my immediate inclination. In fact, here at work , there is a place out in the shop called "The White Room". It's where all the loose parts go to be packaged in their clamshells, or baggies, or whatever. Anyways, my customer service crew went there once when we were getting a tour of the Shipping Dept and related areas, and the first thing I said when we walked in was "Ahh..no black curtains, I see" Nobody got the joke. So it seemed I had just made an utterly puzzling statement and so then I had to explain myself. And consequently, the whole jocular effect I was aiming for was spoilt. I shouldn't have wasted a choice one like that on a bunch of my cultural inferiors. (Ahh, well if you're puzzled now too, just click here for enlightenment) Anywho..
in the Top Design white room I didn't spot any curtains whatsoever...no windows either...but if they did have black curtains, they would match quite well with the ultra-glossy black floor.
"See you later decorator"-- I kept comparing this show to Project Runway, which might be unfair of me. After all, they did not name the show Project Design. The Top Design name seems to imply that instead, they're trying to replicate a Top Chef kinda vibe. Although, you know,I've never ever seen Top Chef, and maybe that show apes Project Runway, and if that be the case, strike everything I just said.
Anyways in the premiere, when they dismissed Lisa & Heather, and Johnathan Adler goes, "See you later decorators" the hokey li'l rhyme struck me immediately and I rolled my eyes and thought "Blimey! That is going to be their 'Auf wiedersehen'" (yes, I DO think with a Cockney accent sometimes!) Well, at least it's easier to pronounce. The repetition of S.Y.L.D. at the episode 2 elimination cemented it-- they ARE trying to establish a catch phrase! Irritating. I know the philosophy at work here--if it ain't broke... But being formulaic is sometimes just being LAZY.
The judges-- Comparing this crew to the Runway judges (and I don't have any compunctions about that now, since apparently the producers want me to) the Top Design folks seem to have better poker faces. They are super calm and all stoic when they tour the rooms (of course, they do let fly the venom later...in THE WHITE ROOM) which is a switch from Garcia, Kors &co. who could barely conceal their repulsion sometimes when they watched a runway show. They were frequently making this face like somebody just waved a particularly pungent turd under their schnozzes. Sometimes they'd nod and smile as they jotted something down....but usually it was the turd face.

And that about covers it all... oh wait...one thing more. I found the theme song mildly irritating. I intend to keep tuning in on Wednesday nights, so I'll keep y'all posted as to whether it grows on me or just grows to be MAJORLY irritating....

I was only half joking about my Dickens homage. By way of homage, I watched Our Mutual Friend again. Well my intent was to rewatch it over the course of a few nights and just do 1, maybe 2 episodes last night. But apparently the miniseries is just as addictive on its 2nd viewing, because I could not stop watching until the whole thing was over (which resulted in my staying up until nearly 3am). Oh, and my repeat viewing of this thing reminds me... y'know my schpiel from yesterday about Dickens' wacky character names?? Two more good examples from Our Mutual Friend :one of the main baddies is named Bradley Headstone (and, fittingly enough, he has a scene where he has a mental breakdown/hulk-out in a cemetary) and another of the villains is Rogue Riderhood.

Martin Barnaby Rudge Chuzzlewit

Happy, happy, happiest of 195th birthdays to Charles John Huffman Dickens!!

Y'know just Monday I was scouring the internet, really digging for an interesting celeb birthday. I was going to call my sis to wish her a happy birthday (she just turned 34..HA HA!) and , additionally, I was going to regale her with some fascinating also-born-on-your-birthday trivia. But alas, the only interesting person born on Feb 5th -EVER-- is my own sister. But Feb 7th... now that has terrific famous biday pickin's!! Charlie Dickens , for one. Also you've got James Spader and LAURA INGALLS WILDER. Y'know I never actually read any of the Little House books, but still I feel like I grew up with Laura Ingalls reincarnated in a syndicated Melissa Gilbert. So, yeah, understandably, I feel very close to her. And she gets major cool points for marrying a dude named Almonzo. Even if Mary's blind hubby was cuter...

But back to Mr Dickens... I did pick him as the birthday celeb du jour after all. What I like about him is the crazy ass names he gives his characters...Martin Chuzzlewit, Mr Muddlebrains, Nicodemus Boffin, and the like. That last one (Boffin) is from Our Mutual Friend a tale that I recently became smitten with. Granted, I became smitten with the BBC miniseries of it, but I did buy the actual novel on a Dartmouth Book store spending spree a coupla weekends ago. So I shall read that soon and hopefully that will please me &inspire me to procure & read even MORE Dickens, after which I'll be able to say something more substantially praiseworthy about the good gentleman, besides just " I dig them kooky names he comes up with". Maybe I will revisit my Dickens birthday salute after I finish reading Our Mutual Friend. You know I DID read A Tale of Two Cities once, but that was waaaaay back in high school and that's all a hazy blur.

Because I'm not overly enthused about Tuesday night TV, I watched one of my recently purchased DVDs last night. I don't know what compelled me to buy "The French Lieutenant's Woman", but I did, and after my 1st viewing, I find that I'm kind of ambivalent about it. Probably shoulda just been a rental, but I've been withholding the same 3 Netflix movies since October...so obviously not making the most of that membership. (I hope to remedy that by the way...I was just on the Netflix site actually, adding new movies, re-ordering the queue. And if I can find all 3 DVDs I'll mail 'em back tomorrow--keep your fingies crossed, eh?)
Anyways, "The French Lieutenant's Woman"-- it was good in that it definitely gave me that period piece romance fix that I occasionally get tah jonesin' for. But on the other hand, you know how I'm all about the ending, and the ending of this one was a rather inconclusive conclusion. Grrr...frustrating. Word is that the novel is drastically different...I think I will have to seek it out at Borders or Encore in the not-too-distant future. What's one more addition to the already ginormous books-to-read queue??



Another thing about the movie, is that I found myself oddly attracted to Jeremy Irons, circa 1981. Yeah, he's not looking exceedingly hot at left here, which perhaps proves the theory that if even a mange-ridden warthog spoke with a British accent it would (in my eyes)up their attractiveness factor by 20% or more (depends on the dialect). Which is not to say I'm a sucker for just any accent. Fred Tuttle did nothing for me.


I forgot to mention in my MEGA post from yesterday (was compensating for a brief lapse, I suppose) that I got me hair did over the weekend. I had a $60 gift certificate-- a Christmas gift from my sis. I was kinda thinking I'd have some change left over, but the cut & color came to exactly $60. Come to think of it, probably Laura inquired on the cost of a cut+color before deciding on the gift cert amount. But anyways, I felt like dung because I had very little cash on me for a tip. And from my brief glimpse in the mirror I loved what she did. Of course, I was SOOO hagged out, that anything --and I mean anything-- woulda been an upgrade. Anyways, I gave her my gift cert + the six bucks I had on me--and pretty sheepishly, 'cause although I've not done the math (math is NOT my bag-- I avoid it whenever possible) I think a decent tip for a hairdresser is at least ten... Anyways, I dashed out very hastily in my embarrassment. But then I get down in my car and I open up my visor mirror to futz around with the new 'do and...I notice that my HEAD IS STAINED. All guilt about my pathetic tipping vanished instantly. I could see, now that I was getting an extreme close-up view of my 'do, that all along my hairline was all purpley splotchy. Yeah, the cut and color were terrif, but also I looked like DAUGHTER OF GORBACHEV. Well, all's well that ends well, and that all did turn out well...because it enabled me to rid myself of my crappy tip guilt and after some vigorous scrubbing with a moist towelette, I lost the forehead stains anyway. But seriously, how sloppy is that?? Even when I color my own hair I don't stain my forehead. And I'm pretty sloppy (in that & every other endeavor)...usually I do stain my neck. Another minor quibble...I found a pic of bangs that I really liked (it was actually a pic of Rose McGowan... because, y'know, I do so want a look that might lure a certain anti-Christ poser my way now that he's soon to be officially on the market again..woo hoo) She had these wispy , piecey bangs..like in the below pic...actually this might be the exact same pic as in that hairstyle mag...

maybe not...I dunno.. but I showed her a similar pic and said I just wanted wispy, piecey bangs. Like I wanted bangs, but not a big thick swath of bangs that made me look like Play-doh Pete...

However, I warned her that I had a minor forehead cowlick over toward the right side of my forehead. I've had countless hairdressers alert me to this hazard...I feel like I should maybe have some Medic-Alert type bracelet made up... Anyways , I notified her of aforementioned cowlick and she's like "OK , No problem" like she can work around it. But then, mid-haircut, it's like she's reconsidered the issue and she says " You know, with your cowlick, I think a side bang will really work best" And I said "OK, fine" because, yeah, I mighta had my heart set on wispy bangs, but I would rather have another bang type (anything except the Play-Doh Pete style) than have her try to do wispies and f*ck it up (this is why I gave her the whole cowlick disclaimer to begin with). And it really seemed like she razored me some side bangs but afterward...no bangs. I definitely do not have bangs. Whatever she did when it seemed she was sculpting me a side bang came out as just another layer. Don't get me wrong, I think my hair looks great (the color is especially lovely) but I feel like there was some...I dunno...misrepresentation there vis a vis my having bangs. I've surveyed several people in the aftermath of my haircut and NOBODY thinks I have bangs. So, here we have another reason I DON'T regret tipping a mere $6. But, all my bitching aside, I actually would go back to the Locksmythe salon...I just have to be sure of who answers the phone when I call for my next appointment ('cause when they say "who did you want to do your cut?" I'm going to have to say "Hmm ...oh,no one in particular , just anyone but Amanda")

books & movies

I watched The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie this weekend. I did enjoy it, although I cannot pinpoint exactly why. I'm sure some of my enjoyment is derived from this film being set in Edinburgh, thereby a delightful brogue was spoken throughout. The word Brodie has a particular euphony about it when said in a Scottish accent: BrrrrOOOE deee.

I went to Encore Books last night to pick up the Muriel Sparks novel that the flick is based on but no luck. Instead I bought Tom Jones (by Henry Fielding) & The Moonstone (Wilkie Collins) and then for the muffins I got this edition of Snow White (lovely illustrations!) and Pirate Bob.

My books to read queue has probably DOUBLED in size since I posted about it back in Dec. I think I need a 12step program (for several of my vices!!)

holding out for a HERO

I was all intrigued by the teaser /previews for this week's Heroes. WHO would they bring in to play Claire's father?? I'd pondered for a week... They were making such a giant fat stink about it, I couldn't even imagine who they might hire on to live up to the hype. Yeah..."hire on"...so you know I was barking up the proverbial wrong tree in my speculations. I thought perhaps they might re-animate the corpse of Orson Welles (Orville Redenbacher-style) and have him be the superpowered pater familias. But when we were discussing this Sat night, my sister's pal Nicki insisted it would be somebody already on the show (smart chick). But I continued to hope that they'd bring on some new talent (speaking of new talent, Christopher Eccleston's character is a hoot..I dig him) . And then mid-way through the show I thought...what a clever twist it would be to have Claire's adoptive father really be her biological dad? And I thought, for about 20 min., that that might be what they were gonna do... The only other possibility (already on cast)that dawned on me was Eccleston's character (I think his name is Claude) but I quickly shot that notion down as I'm sure that guy is just too ornery to procreate.
Well, anyways , if you tuned in last night, you know that NATHAN PETRELLI is most likely Firestarter's babydaddy. Is this dude schtupping EVERYBODY? No freakin' fair!! He's got (or had ) a wife (who is either comatose or dead...I can't recall her exact fate after that vehicular assault) and I'm sure he tapped that, and I caught part of some episode (prior to when I became a dedicated viewer) where he trysted with Nick-sica. Nathan Petrelli gets all the action! It must be the allure of power, because the dude has a head shaped exactly like the Muppet Show newsman's...



...so it can't be a looks thing. I take that back. It is quite similar to the Muppet Newsman. If Newsman's was a bit wider up top, they'd match up exactly because Adrian Pasdar has the most PERFECTLY RECTANGULAR head in show business. It's a natural wonder, that noggin.
Anyways, the real reason that I'm vexed to learn that Claire is spawn of Petrelli..... I had hoped she might hook up with Peter eventually. Now I confess I'm a Janie-come-lately to this show and haven't seen the eps establishing the Peter-Simone bond. Maybe they have some mad chemistry, I dunno. But...from what little I've seen of this Simone chick I wish she would just am-scray. I don't like her one bit. Don't ask me why. There's some aura, some irksome je ne sais quoi she exudes that makes me dislike her. If she MUST exist (in my ideal version of the show, she is offed by Seiler) then she'd be fine paired off with that sad painter. She must leave sweet Pete alone though! Even if he's not going to hook up with Claire, somebody else, anybody else for Peter...please. What about the butch blonde from the FBI?? Gee, I suppose if I want to be considered a serious fan, I should figure out ALL the characters' names huh?

AstroNUTS

I was just going to start off yammering about Heroes (and I will en uno momento) but this news item caught my attention and I wanted to first address this with a resounding "WHAT THE F-" And I'll follow that up with a cockle-warmed "Awwwww" because, after all, it is nearly Feb 14, and nothing sez, "Be my Valentine" like wearing a wig & shitty diaper to kidnap your beloved's alleged girlfriend. I mean, imagine if someone did that for you and all you did was get them the 4pc. Whitman's Sampler in the wee cardboard heart with Snoopy & Woodstock on the front of it for a buck at Walgreens? Wouldn't that make you feel like a schmuck? It's certainly what one would call a "grand gesture". Oh, it's bat guano loco, for SURE, but no one can accuse her of underachieving.

Anyways, even if I hadn't spotted it on the msn homepage, I woulda heard all about it--everybody in my office is chattering about it. It has multiple elements that intrigue-- and definitely the forbidden-love-amongst-the-cosmos backstory piques one's curiosity, but the concensus seems to be that the most extraordinary thing here is that the perpetrator wore diapers. Apparently this is no big thing for an astronaut (they wear them during launch & reentry) and it was probably an overlooked detail amongst the nursing home set, but here in this office , grown-ass women making poo-poo & pee in diapers...well, it's just COMEDY GOLD.
Look at this chick... after my first glimpse at the pic I thought...."Ooooh. One of your more unflattering mug shots. She looks transgender..and in an unkempt, nonfabulous way. Ick." But after reading this story, and contemplating the matter, I decided this face could very well be "Oh, lordy am I overdue for a diaper change!" Perhaps that furrowed brow does not signify distress or psychological unrest or anything so profound...just the discomfort of someone who is understandably sick of their own stink.

REFORMED!!!

Here we have the top item in the IMDB news bites section. And it being listed highest, are we to presume that is the most important celeb news du jour? Well, I think it's got to be the most ridiculous and over-debated story of the day. Of the past month, really. I seem to be of a minority opinion, but I think it possible that Washington is NOT homophobic. Of course he hasn't offered that by way of his own defense, because no one would accept it. It seems to be unanimously established: Hetero says faggot= said hetero hates gay people. This is just an irrefutable equation in our society. This is what I think: Ya say faggot= you may hate gay people, you might just be uncomfortable with 'em AND there's a slight possibility you have no problem with 'em whatsoever. Isaiah has played numerous gay characters in his career. I feel like if one was truly homophobic they just wouldn't do that. But perhaps I'm wrong. Perhaps I'm not fathoming how intensely dedicated to his craft the dude is.

But here's my take on the whole overinflated brouhaha---

Isaiah is known to have a hot temper...I think it's entirely plausible that he was furious with Dempsey and, wanting to tear him a new one, he just spewed forth whatever vileness popped into his head. I mean, it's not unprecedented for people to say things they don't mean when they're angry. I suspect it would've actually been more appropriate for I.W. to do some anger management counseling but that wouldn't have happened...because that wouldn't have appeased anybody.

Well, whatev. I'm glad he's out of deprogramming. Forever may his rainbow banner wave-- yeeeeha.

In more mundane news--of my life-- I realized around noon that my shirt was on inside out. Let me just clarify (in my defense) it was not my primary shirt, but a tee that I have under a plaid shirt. I am not a complete ninny.

I'm excited for primo Thurs night TV tonight. I'm tempted to watch 30 Rock, (but I won't because it conflicts w/ my Grey's Anatomy time) because I've seen the promo for tonight's eppy numerous times and everytime without fail, when Paul Reubens yells "THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!" I laugh my arse off. I tried to find a clip of him saying that to direct you to, but I had trouble and it got too damn time consuming. So, Mission UN-accomplished. Instead, I'll "paste" here the error message I got whenever I tried to launch the NBC.com video player.

UUUUGGHH-- speaking of vexing error messages, my blog was unviewable this a.m. Due to error code bX-vjhbsj --whatever the &^#@$ that means. I think perhaps it's Newblogger-ese for "A Muskrat has deficated on our server and shorted out all our functiony bits". Well I popped onto the site's help message boards and it seemed like approx. a half trillion bloggers were getting hit with that same issue &error code this a.m. So maybe it was the work of a whole muskrat troupe. Or pack. What is the proper term for a muskrat collective?

Research that for me wouldja? I want a report typed up (250 words, in Palatino Linotype font, 1.5 line spacing preferred) and on my desk by Monday 8am.....

Yoooooou know what day it is kids....

Happy National Gorilla Suit Day! YAAAAAAAY!

Oh yes... and happy 7th b-day to my nephew Seth too!!

funky dreams

Apparently my TV time is being over-saturated with ads for Catch and Release , because last night I had a dream starring Jennifer Garner and Timothy Olyphant. I don't recall the premise of the dream exactly but at one point they were riding a tandem bike. I certainly don't mind Timothy O invading my dreams, but Jennifer Garner can bugger off. She is the sole reason for my avoiding that movie. Well, I generally don't bother to see rom-coms in the theater, but if Catch and Release had a different female lead, I very likely mighta rented it. I don't know what about Garner irks me so...she has that sorta gawky Everygal element that I've admired in other actresses, but she's just too...too...I dunno, dimpled and prim for my liking. I swear, it's NOT because she bagged Affleck (I'm more of a Damon gal). But even though I find Garner inexplicably offputting I hope the film does well, as I've liked Timothy Olyphant for a long time. If Catch & Release succeeds, he might get some more leading roles. I'm just hoping that the next time he shows up in my dreams, he's assuming the role he had in the movie Go. That's where I loved him best: Santa hat, shirtless, dealing drugs.

Is it just me, or does Timothy Olyphant have sort of a Josh Duhamel (from TV's "Las Vegas" aka boyfriend of that uber-tramp Fergie-ferg) look about him? Or maybe it's that Josh Duhamel has a Timothy Olyphant look about him. I don't know... I think I could be just going bonkers, because every time I'm struck by a celeb resemblance, and I look for pics on the 'net to corroborate my observation... I can't find any pics of the 2 people looking similar. Take for example, my brilliant Sheffer-Boreanaz theorem from a post last month...
So this time, I'm just gonna throw it out there and not give you any visual aid...

I made homemade soup last night (Tues night last night , not Mon night that I had my Catch & Release dream) It's kind of ehhhh (having it for lunch right now). It's not very tasty but I don't HATE it either. It resides in a sad sort of limbo state--just south of "good" but quite a bit north of "grody". I am going to eat this whole bowl though, because I put a lot of healthy junk in it. That was my primary goal-- to cook up something nutritious. It woulda been a bonus if it had been nutritious and tasty. But like I said...it's not heinous.

To make up for my lack of pics in this post thus far, here is a visual itemization of what is in my soup--




















WATER



















Goya brand sm. white beans & split peas






CARROTS



















Rutabagas









Chicken









white pearl onions








savory

vegetable broth

(actually same brand as center box in photo)

PARSNIPS














Potatoes

and sundry herbs & spices

tell me why I don't like Mondays...

On a Monday 28 years ago...

Well, I'm not gonna even recap the event, I'll just share the link. Because if I actually typed about it, then I would be someone who writes about the bleak and twisted. I don't want to come off as suspect like that. But I confess...I was doing my periodical "on this day in history" check and came across this story. And it very famously happened on a Monday. And Jan 29 of this year is also a Monday...as happens every few years or so...but that li'l coincidence was enough to compell me to read the article on it. Then , I was kinda intrigued...against my better judgement. I did some 'net research, read a bit more. Needless to say, it was a horrifying incident...but it was the confession rather than the actual crime that makes this one striking. I mean, the natural response to any kind of atrocity like this is to ponder the motive...and , "I don't like Mondays"?? And she didn't come out with any alternate motives until 26 years after the fact, so I'm inclined to buy her original explanation... which is just astonishingly nonchalant. If she isn't a total sociopath, than she must be somehow retarded (sorry, not the preferred terminology, I know).

Don't look at me like that. These things catch my fancy from time to time, but truly, anyone who knows me knows I'm really NOT one of those true-crime reading, macabre-minded sketchy weirdo-types. Hey, the story must've intrigued Bob Geldof if he wrote a song about it. And I'll remind you he also co-wrote "Do They Know it's Christmas?" (about feeding the world...you know the one) and he is second only to Bono in the leagues of philanthropic famous Irish guys. All of which corroborates my hypothesis: pondering dark stuff DOES NOT necessarily make you dark & weird. I need to know how to type one of those nerdy math "does not equal " signs...the "=" with a slash through it. THAT woulda been a really concise and professional way to state my hypothesis. Daaaaang.

Okay from horror stories to the land of fairy tales....

This item also caught my attention today (last item on the page/ re: Becks). My first thought was...what will David-Beckham-as-Prince-Charming hair look like? I don't imagine he'll be doing corn rows or a faux-hawk for this photo shoot. The other thing that amused me was Annie Liebovitz being quoted as saying:

"Saving Sleeping Beauty came natural to him.

He's a determined actor, and he became the Prince when

he got on that white horse. He was serious about it."

And then, when you check elsewhere on IMDB...and check Beck's "filmography" there's about a hundred instances of him playing..."Himself". Maybe he's intending to be a determined actor but thus far he's not showed all that much range. I confess though, if D-Beck does get into tha movies, I would be curious to see his acting debut. Probably would be paying more attention to his pecs than his " range" though...

and the snot keeps a-flowin'

Yeeeeha. I feel even worse today. I don't think I can muster up any wit or insight but I thought I oughtta post just the same.

Here--check this compelling saga out...it's probably been circulating forever but I just happened upon it on Wednesday. You must watch all 5 episodes (I COMMAND you!!)

a shitty juicy saucy Thursday

In looking back on my day, I can divide into 3 elements: shit, juice, & sauce. I do hope tomorrow will be less messy.

Juice-- Even though I did enjoy a glass of cranberry juice this evening, what I really meant by "juice" is sweat & snot. I just didn't want too get to bodily fluidish on y'all right from the outset. I know that Old Man Winter is finally begun his reign over my part of the country, but my office seems to have overreacted to the dropping temps. I swear the thermostat in the office was up to 96 today!!! I felt like I was melllllllting. My eyeballs and eyelids in particular felt EXTREMELY perspirational. Honestly, I am amazed that I didn't have any mystical Navajo daydreams, of the sort that are suppose to beset you when you hole up in a sweat lodge. As if a marinade of my own sweat was not enough, I also had a drippy, sneezy beezer today. Yeeeeaah. Bonus. And work was maaaad busy. And THEN one of the trainers who was leaving to go back to Texas comes around snapping photos to share with the gang back home. AAAAGH!! So there I was mouth-breathing and slack-jawed with my hair all staticky flyaway, lips cracked like ancient pleather, and where my head wasn't chapped and flaky, it was glistening with sweat, with the tiny exception of the outer perimeter of my nostrils which were glistening with snot instead. I managed a face that was 1/4 forced smile and 3/4 roiling hatred and I said "Oh, be sure to zoom in and catch the rivulets of snot streaming from my nose!" I wonder what sort of impression that photo is going to make on my Texan comrades. Ha. Like I give a shit.
Which brings me to my next element du jour...
Shit-- At the end of an overall shitty day, I had to come up to my sister's to babysit. Which really wasn't too bad. The kids were fairly well behaved, or at least, I've certainly seen 'em brattier. But Lucy had the WORRRRRST diaper. I should feel sorry for her rather than whine about my having to change it, since the poor muffin is sick, but UUUUGH. It was this highly toxic, extremely PUNGENT, swampy liquid. Yellowish green. Probably if I'd smelled it full force without my thick snot buffer I woulda heaved.
Sauce-- The saucy part of my day was good. We've always provided breakfast & lunch for our salesguys & distributors that come here for training. Recently we've switched caterers, and from what I've sampled thus far, it was a stellar upgrade (these guys make great whoopie pies!!) Anyways they had a lunch for all 20 trainees delivered yesterday but they wrapped up class early & most of the guys had left. So it was free chicken parm & garlic bread , free 20 oz sodas for me & my comrades. Lisa thought the sauce was too sweet but I thought it was excellent.. . Seems pretty pitiful that was unequivocably THE highlight of my day, but yep, that was it.

LIIIIIINDAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !

This is a favorite quote of mine from the incomparable Poseidon Adventure (the 1972 version...I cannot bring myself to watch the recent remake) and it's when Mike Rogo yells --with mucho horror and anguish--to his ex-whore of a wife who has just fallen to her certain & fiery death. It's a great cinematic yell, and it was performed by none other than ERNEST BORGNINE...who turns 90 today. I could not fathom it either...he doesn't look a day over 70, that Ernie.

Here is some Ernest Borgnine trivia to gnosh on today--

*birth name Ermes Effron Borgnino
*He was the first ever center square in the original version of the television game show Hollywood Squares
*He was married to ETHEL MERMAN for about a month in 1964 (this was the third of his five marriages)
*in 1996, Borgnine toured the U.S. in a bus to meet his fans & see the country. The trip was the subject of a 1997 documentary," Ernest Borgnine on the Bus" (not an overly inventive title, I don't think)

Anyways, on a personal note, it was Borgnine's guest starring role in the 1974 season of Little House on the Prairie that has long resonated with me. The episode was a two-parter called "The Lord is my Shepherd" and it's when Laura thinks her bad thoughts somehow killed her sick baby bro and she runs away to the mountain to talk to God. And on that mountain she meets mysterious mountain man "Johnathan" (Borgnine) who is very kind and generous with sage advice and his porridge. Good stuff. No doubt you've caught in syndication at least once...

I was going to finish up a half-written post from Monday where I was recapping my somewhat ho-hum weekend, but I thought Ernie Borgnine's NINETIETH was an infinitely more interesting read so I scrapped that draft and here you have this.

I don't think I'll be able to find "Ernest Borgnine on the Bus" on such short notice, so maybe tonight I'll watch the Special Edition Poseidon Adventure DVD that I picked up recently at Best Buy (had a gift cert from Christmas to burn up). Wednesday night TV is pretty lameass.

Oh, and speaking of TV, I am rather peeved with the PBS people. I made damn sure to tune in to Masterpiece Theatre this past Sunday night to watch Jane Eyre. Well, that was only part 1 of Jane Eyre. I presumed that Part 2 was on Monday night...NOT SO. It is the Masterpiece Theatre way to show one half of a compelling production and then LEAVE YOU HANGING FOR A WHOLE WEEK. That's right-- Eyre doesn't air (ha ha ha) again until Sunday, Jan 28!!! I am most put out!!

I got to reading somethin-er-other today that led me to read up on wikipedia about MAD magazine history. Oh, oh, oh, yeah ...I remember... I read that Jan 31 is National Gorilla Suit Day. Now this is a lesser known movement started up in the comics of Don Martin, who was a very big part of the MAD staff until the late 80s. Hence my reading up on MAD mag. I used to buy MAD all the time until about '92 or '93 I weened myself offa it. And now, today, suddenly I have a strong (possibly nostalgia-rooted) compulsion to rush out and buy a MAD magazine. I do intend to write tomorrow ( sorry for the lapse, by the way) at which point I will let y'all know if I bought the rag and if it was/ wasn't $$$ well spent.

Until then, dearies!!!

Rad pix

I decided to re-do my computer desktop this afternoon (as I periodically do) and in that effort I stumbled across this , which is a terrific source for some retro eye candy...particularly old children's books illustrations if you like that kinda thang. For instance...

on the telly...

On today's lunch menu- leftover garlic fried rice and moo shi pork. I swear the moo shi pork is ALWAYS better the day after. Well, that is true of moo shi anything, really. And it tastes a 1000 times better than it looks, I assure you. It's quite tasty but unfortunately it looks like the toxic dredgings from the bottom of a swamp. The garlic fried rice is perfectly lovely though methinks it would be improved if it had scrambly egg bits in it. Overall, I give the lunch a 9. It gets big points on the utensil front... I have, at my desk, these plastic training chopsticks with a panda on them ...I am using them now...I love it when I get to bust these things out.

My entire head is chapped...I need some sort of neck-to-scalp Blistex product, not that there is such a thing. I look truly foul. Bleccch...

It's been a while since I've droned on about TV...I think I will do that, as last night's offerings gave me a lotta fodder. Heeeeere's what I watched...

The Office-- I looooved the prank on Andy and his violent overreaction. My curiosity is piqued about the "extended scenes"on NBC.com (or is "director's cut" their official name for it??) I never really bother with those, but I may have to this week. I'd like to see a little more of the Jim-Karen chat about how Jim-bo is NOT over Pam. Good stuff...
Ugly Betty-- I had missed a coupla episodes of this show but I was glad to return to it and see that Salma Hayak was off. I HATED her character. Last night's episode was laugh-out-loud funny. The big Rebecca- Romjn- is- Daniel's- dead -brother- resurrected- &- sex- changed twist at the end (sorry, guess I shoulda proceded that with "spoiler alert" in bold caps somewhere) was hokey...they were showing their insane telenovella roots there. I don't know how I'm going to like that turn of the plot. I usually don't enjoy watching Rebecca Romjn in anything, except maybe in XMen movies where her skin's all blue. I think it's this intense, longstanding emotional tie I have with the race of Smurf beings (la, la, la, laalaa, laaaa..) that predisposes me to favor blue-hued folk.
Grey's Anatomy-- I really enjoyed the episode but it was sooo sad. Horribly sad. Maybe it woulda been too cliched & predictable for Callie to be Georgie's consoler at the end of the episode, but that's what I was hoping for anyways. Christina should've been in with Burke, thawing at least a smidgeon since he made the first mini-concession with his indirectly informing her of his no-tremor status (via Derek). Anyways, Christina was the WORST person to have out there with him!! What does she have to offer? "Welcome to the Dead Dads Club"? Huh??? Is that supposed to be cute? Comforting? Maybe she shoulda gone all-out and presented him with a badge or something...
Men in Trees-- I sense that only a dozen or so people nationwide actually tune in regularly for this show, so I will refrain from blathering on about it for too long. The storyline is particularly aggravating now though-- Hunky Eddie Bauer catalog model type, Jack has at last acknowledged that he's in love with Marin, and they're in this cute, twitterpated, burgeoning romance stage, BUT THEN his dippy ex returns to town (a haggard looking Justine Bateman) and so he drops M like a hot yam (or, if you prefer your metaphors on the traditional side, potato). You know, in a Blonde vs Brunette rivalry, I usually will root for the Veronica. But in this case I gotta side with poor Marin. I know the Anne Heche backstory (who doesn't) that she's very likely a mercenary heartbreaker of a faux lesbian with Margot Kidderish tendencies to boot, but NEVERTHELESS, she is very engaging in this show.