I was a bit bummed at the outcome of tonight's Last Comic Standing. I've not been running my mouth off about it here, but I assure you I have been following this season devoutly. I never miss LCS!!
I'm really VERY disappointed that Sean Cullen is out of the running. I'll admit his set from the previous show (song about farmers) was weak, but overall I LOVE the guy. And I thought he killed tonight!! And then for Iliza Schlessin--whatevah making it into the finals. UGH. Soo disheartening. Her big improvement in this week's set was that she refrained from doing her patented funny walk-- oh you know that funny walk that you do in high heels when you're drunk, which , wow, looks amazingly IDENTICAL to the funny walk you do on a date when you slam your cooter into the corner of the table. DEJA VU all over again , biatch. So, no funny walks this week, but it seemed like she was both targeting and channeling the American frat boy demographic. I didn't laugh once. Nary a snicker. Her moving on is not only unjust (it was not right for the largely unfunny Jim Tavare to move on either, but I didn't mind so much because he seems like a nice enough fellah) but worse than that, I'm sure it solidifies her silly insistence on how AWESOME she is...according to her...baah.
I said "a bit bummed" because I found part of the voting results to be righteous. Adam Hunter was horrid and he was long overdue to get the boot. In fact, I can't believe he even beat some of the talented comics in the semis to get on the show in the first place (Dan "Squirrel-adore" Cummins springs to mind) He had this ugly misogynist undercurrent to his act, but was never funny enough to carry it off. His material wasn't very smart at all. His attempt to be au courant had him cracking MULTIPLE John-McCain-is-old jokes. John-McCain-is-old-jokes are even older than McCain-- it was tres pathetic. And his delivery was always lousy--all rapid fire and nervous and shouty.
I was kinda bummed (and shocked) to see Ron G eliminated. He didn't always make me laugh, but I thought his last set (last week's show) was terrif.
Marcus--eh. His impressions are very good, but I'll always feel like impressions are kinda like cheating. I am glad that he does stuff other than impressions, and some of his jokes do get me to chuckle...but I don't think he's really great enough to be the LAST COMIC STANDING.
Don't get me started on Jim Tavare. I can't be fully anti-Jim, as I am naturally inclined to root for a British accent, the guy's clearly a snappy dresser, and the show has shown him to be generous with his kitchen prowess. Also, I was charmed by his sweet familial tableau on the houseboat. But bottom line: guy is NOT funny. I saw him come out on stage with the bass and, tired of his gimmick after just a couple viewings, I was all, "Oh , he's doing THAT again?? Really? Hmm." But after he began firing off the lame jokes I actually found myself thinking "Play the damn bass already!"
I would be cool with either Jeff Dye or Louis Ramey winning. Louis, on tonight's show, was the funniest he's ever been. Ahhh, but Jeff Dye is a sweetie. His schtick about Guess Who? was the best . The way it spoke right to my inner child--it reminded me of Gary Gulman (probably the greatest LCS alum EVAH--definitely my fave) and his neverending reserves of cookie humor. So his material is clever, but probably his best advantage is his great stage presence-- relaxed, charismatic. He's that funny guy at the party (that you want to go home with).
Ohhh, but I miss Sean Cullen! Check out the knock-knock joke he offers up in his interview on the NBC site. That's some funny shit!! What guffaws that gave me!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
irons in the fire
I had an interview on Tuesday at DHMC . I have another one scheduled for Aug 4th but haven't got the time off approved yet. And I had a voice mail today from Karen (who interviewed me on Tues) wanting to schedule a 2nd interview. My boss has GOT to be suspicious about all these unspecified "appointments". I'm just going to 'fess up and tell her I have lupus. Orrrr, uhh, what's a disease needing continual medical upkeep?? Restless Leg Syndrome? Scurvy? Ah well, I WISH I were so good a liar, I know if she addresses the subject I'm going to admit I'm going on job interviews. Would that be seen as a sort of infidelity? I'd bet it would...
The reaction I'm hoping for, though, is "OH GOD NOOO- DON'T LEAVE US!! Name your salary. Just pick a figure, and consider it done, my dear!!"
Well, whatev. I'm not sayin' anything until asked.
The reaction I'm hoping for, though, is "OH GOD NOOO- DON'T LEAVE US!! Name your salary. Just pick a figure, and consider it done, my dear!!"
Well, whatev. I'm not sayin' anything until asked.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
I love things that are great (PART DEUX)
It sure would be cool if I was some cultural force, some way powerful arbiter of popular taste (à la Oprah) and my saying that Thing X is cool would compel droves of people to glom on to Thing X, but sadly no... my rattling off things I dig is just a means of cranking out an easy-peasy cheat of a post. Y'see I need to start off with a lame-ish no-brainer post of just this sort when I re-commence posting after a coupla days of slacking.
Well... on to the things that are great...
I bought a new magazine at Borders the other weekend. Well, it's new to me (first I'd ever seen it) but maybe it's been in publication for a while, I dunno. It's called Ready Made, and I hope to evolve into exactly that crafty-ass demographic they're targeting. I think at this point, I can only accurately claim to be a crafty-ass wannabe.
FX has been playing promos for the new season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I am stoked...I ADORRRRE that show. I particularly like Mac (Rob McElhenny). I have this episode on my iPod.
Speaking of fab finds on the telly...I am not generally one for animated shows (Family Guy excluded) but I caught an episode of Flapjack on Cartoon Network and was transfixed by it. The animation is really rad.
Well... on to the things that are great...
I bought a new magazine at Borders the other weekend. Well, it's new to me (first I'd ever seen it) but maybe it's been in publication for a while, I dunno. It's called Ready Made, and I hope to evolve into exactly that crafty-ass demographic they're targeting. I think at this point, I can only accurately claim to be a crafty-ass wannabe.
FX has been playing promos for the new season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I am stoked...I ADORRRRE that show. I particularly like Mac (Rob McElhenny). I have this episode on my iPod.
Speaking of fab finds on the telly...I am not generally one for animated shows (Family Guy excluded) but I caught an episode of Flapjack on Cartoon Network and was transfixed by it. The animation is really rad.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
enough time & text has elapsed since my yucky post so that I may now rattle off what I made myself for din din.
I put mango cilantro marinade and some pepper on a few fillets of lake trout and baked it for about 10 minutes in my Orka silicone tagine. I took some leftover mashed taters and made potato pancakes... or at least I think I made potato pancakes. I didn't really know how to make 'em and didn't wanna put any effort into scrounging up a recipe so I just sorta ad libbed it. They didn't really form cohesive patties that well, but they were DAMNED tasty!! As well they should be -- with diced up sauteed onions, a smidge of cheddar cheese, pepper & garlic salt avec parsley. Oh maan..I could go for another right about now. Also had some leftover coleslaw. And a Diet Coke.
Watch out Bobby Flay...gimme a li'l more practice, I'll be mopping the floor of Kitchen Stadium with your tired old ass.
I put mango cilantro marinade and some pepper on a few fillets of lake trout and baked it for about 10 minutes in my Orka silicone tagine. I took some leftover mashed taters and made potato pancakes... or at least I think I made potato pancakes. I didn't really know how to make 'em and didn't wanna put any effort into scrounging up a recipe so I just sorta ad libbed it. They didn't really form cohesive patties that well, but they were DAMNED tasty!! As well they should be -- with diced up sauteed onions, a smidge of cheddar cheese, pepper & garlic salt avec parsley. Oh maan..I could go for another right about now. Also had some leftover coleslaw. And a Diet Coke.
Watch out Bobby Flay...gimme a li'l more practice, I'll be mopping the floor of Kitchen Stadium with your tired old ass.
worth the $$$
Vince Vaughn = value. I'm so pleased. First off, I'm glad to see one of my faves in the news (and not for something scandalous a la Christian Bale). Secondly, this news quickly hatched in my mind a lame pickup strategy should I ever meet Vince (could happen y'know --most likely when flocks of pigs are flying past a blue moon during a sudden snowball surplus in Hell) If this study is actually being published in Forbes, I should acquire me a copy of that issue--just in case. How suave-- to walk up to Vince and say "I hear you can gimme more BANG for my buck, babe.." or something to that effect, being mindful to have the 'zine at hand in case you happen to have been sitting on that line for 4 or 5 yrs and the guy needs a memory refresher.
I shall let you know if such an opportunity arises...
I mentioned above --in a parenthetical aside-- the brouhaha surrounding dear Christian Bale. I wanna go on record as saying I suspect his mother & sister's accusations are a load of bullshit (or a load of GUANO..haw haw). I mean, when a celeb gets himself/ herself in hot H2O I have 1 of 2 possible reactions. It's either "I hadn't realized he was that type" or "No shocker there". That latter one would apply to something like...a new Britney scandal or Andy Dick's recent arrest (how foul is that guy? eww). The former type of reaction is where I'm mildly surprised because said celeb hadn't particularly struck me as a loose cannon. Then when I consider their character, it seems possible enough even if it hadn't seemed probable (that could be put more concisely...forgive my rambling!!) They hadn't seemed to be one o' those overtly goody 2 shoes stars nor were they in that perpetual train wreck category either...just kind of "neutral" celebs. Oh, I just came up with an example while I was blathering on... when Thomas Jane got a DUI. It popped up in the news early this year (in the spring maybe?) and then fell off the radar almost immediately thereafter. Luckily I remembered the incident as I was able to very handily use it as an example in this case, and also lucky that I remembered it because as I sorta second-guessed whether or not my memory served correct and did Jane actually get a DUI , and when was that again? Anyways that second guessing led to a quick 'net search and that led to my finding this pic---
Hubba hubba hubba... now, that was worth my bad writing / beaucoup run-on sentences, wasn't it??
But back to my point...I do have one...got a li'l (understandably) sidetracked by the TJ photo ( cannot believe he's married to such a dumpy frump) When I heard this about Christian Bale, a new reaction category was born: staunch disbelief. For the first time, when hearing of a celeb scandal, my immediate response was-- "NO. That can NOT be true" Seriously...was even compelled to eschew contractions in order to fully communicate the firmness of my conviction.
Bale has always struck me as a real down-to-earth bloke and a sort of a philanthropic character as well. This whole thing is either a kooky misunderstanding or stemming from his mum & sis being unbalanced. It's got to be...
Let's keep the eyecandy comin' with another pic...
I shall let you know if such an opportunity arises...
I mentioned above --in a parenthetical aside-- the brouhaha surrounding dear Christian Bale. I wanna go on record as saying I suspect his mother & sister's accusations are a load of bullshit (or a load of GUANO..haw haw). I mean, when a celeb gets himself/ herself in hot H2O I have 1 of 2 possible reactions. It's either "I hadn't realized he was that type" or "No shocker there". That latter one would apply to something like...a new Britney scandal or Andy Dick's recent arrest (how foul is that guy? eww). The former type of reaction is where I'm mildly surprised because said celeb hadn't particularly struck me as a loose cannon. Then when I consider their character, it seems possible enough even if it hadn't seemed probable (that could be put more concisely...forgive my rambling!!) They hadn't seemed to be one o' those overtly goody 2 shoes stars nor were they in that perpetual train wreck category either...just kind of "neutral" celebs. Oh, I just came up with an example while I was blathering on... when Thomas Jane got a DUI. It popped up in the news early this year (in the spring maybe?) and then fell off the radar almost immediately thereafter. Luckily I remembered the incident as I was able to very handily use it as an example in this case, and also lucky that I remembered it because as I sorta second-guessed whether or not my memory served correct and did Jane actually get a DUI , and when was that again? Anyways that second guessing led to a quick 'net search and that led to my finding this pic---
Hubba hubba hubba... now, that was worth my bad writing / beaucoup run-on sentences, wasn't it??
But back to my point...I do have one...got a li'l (understandably) sidetracked by the TJ photo ( cannot believe he's married to such a dumpy frump) When I heard this about Christian Bale, a new reaction category was born: staunch disbelief. For the first time, when hearing of a celeb scandal, my immediate response was-- "NO. That can NOT be true" Seriously...was even compelled to eschew contractions in order to fully communicate the firmness of my conviction.
Bale has always struck me as a real down-to-earth bloke and a sort of a philanthropic character as well. This whole thing is either a kooky misunderstanding or stemming from his mum & sis being unbalanced. It's got to be...
Let's keep the eyecandy comin' with another pic...
Grody notes (skip if you's squeamish!)
I wasn't going to go to the folks' casa tonight, but my Dad called me at work (at just about quittin' time) and asked me to come. He's been sick all day...my mum had told me he had the shits but I hadn't realized he'd been vomitting too. Well, he's been having stomach flu symptoms all day and my mother was around for most of it, but she's really in no condition to be of any help to him. So he sent her off with Laura and thought he'd just sleep it off alone. Well around 4:15 or so, he got up to go get fresh air outside, but as soon as he got up a simultaneous wave of dizziness& nausea hit him. He didn't pass out (nearly did) but he plunked back down in his recliner and got sick all over the livingroom rug**.
Well, he didn't cover the ENTIRE rug, of course. It seems he got a sizeable patch right in front of the recliner pretty well yarf-covered. He cleaned most of it up..but there was some (UGH) debris for me to pick up before I sprayed the Resolve foam (and laid down 9 or 10 layers). A lot of said debris looked like that pickled ginger that comes complimentary with supermarket sushi. I never eat the ginger...and uhh, after today I probably NEVER will.
Since I've got my grody momentum going, I will further divulge (flouting all laws of good taste) that I had shreds of tomato skin floating around the bowl amidst my runny #2 this evening. Apparently languishing undigested all afternoon because I had tomatoes w/ my lunch, not my dinner. I made myself a really good dinner actually...which I can't even detail in this icky post. It wouldn't be right. Instead I'll close with a gross confession (which is barely relevant, aside from it being gross)..here goes...not a deep DARK confession, but it will surely shatter my image as a paragon of demureness (as so many of y'all perceive me, I know)...ok without further ado..next thing I type will be the aforepromised confession...well perhaps some more elipses...right, no more stalling:
I've long thought the shower is just the ideal venue for flatulence.. the perfect accoustics make it oddly gratifying.
**He called me immediately apres puke to appeal to me to come nurse him. Good timing--he sounded AWFUL. There was no saying no
Well, he didn't cover the ENTIRE rug, of course. It seems he got a sizeable patch right in front of the recliner pretty well yarf-covered. He cleaned most of it up..but there was some (UGH) debris for me to pick up before I sprayed the Resolve foam (and laid down 9 or 10 layers). A lot of said debris looked like that pickled ginger that comes complimentary with supermarket sushi. I never eat the ginger...and uhh, after today I probably NEVER will.
Since I've got my grody momentum going, I will further divulge (flouting all laws of good taste) that I had shreds of tomato skin floating around the bowl amidst my runny #2 this evening. Apparently languishing undigested all afternoon because I had tomatoes w/ my lunch, not my dinner. I made myself a really good dinner actually...which I can't even detail in this icky post. It wouldn't be right. Instead I'll close with a gross confession (which is barely relevant, aside from it being gross)..here goes...not a deep DARK confession, but it will surely shatter my image as a paragon of demureness (as so many of y'all perceive me, I know)...ok without further ado..next thing I type will be the aforepromised confession...well perhaps some more elipses...right, no more stalling:
I've long thought the shower is just the ideal venue for flatulence.. the perfect accoustics make it oddly gratifying.
**He called me immediately apres puke to appeal to me to come nurse him. Good timing--he sounded AWFUL. There was no saying no
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Re: "I love things that are great"
That's a lyric I stole from this SNL skit:
I don't care if he does call his daughter a pig, Alec Baldwin is rad in my book (in my book of things/people that are rad...in US bookstores mid 2016. Reserve your copy today!!) Just his stellar SNL work alone makes me inclined to give him a free pass to verbally abuse whoever the hell he wants. I love his Tony Bennett impersonation and the little opening tune he sings in this particular skit --hi-flippin-larious. I dunno quite why but it never fails to crack my shit up.
I don't care if he does call his daughter a pig, Alec Baldwin is rad in my book (in my book of things/people that are rad...in US bookstores mid 2016. Reserve your copy today!!) Just his stellar SNL work alone makes me inclined to give him a free pass to verbally abuse whoever the hell he wants. I love his Tony Bennett impersonation and the little opening tune he sings in this particular skit --hi-flippin-larious. I dunno quite why but it never fails to crack my shit up.
Hey- I love things that are great. Good things are fantastic..
A few things I'm enjoying these days...
A nice clean car...
Okay, okay, so the cleaning process is not ENTIRELY finito, but I've made great strides. I've considerably reduced the clutter and relocated it all to the trunk. So what's left to do is vacuum and then keep chippin' away at the remainder of the clutter in said trunk. What's key though, is that my car has more or less returned to normal (lost that "I'm-a-vagrant-that-lives-in-my-car" look that it's apt to have)
This is my latest lipstick purchase (bought during my last Target excursion) and I'm VERY pleased with it. Boots No.7 Sheer Temptation Lipstick. I wear it nearly everyday. Except I didn't get the color shown above I got "Smoulder", the red shade indicated on the No.7 Sheer Temptation palette below: 
That color just to the left of "Smoulder" looks good to me too. It is called "Facinate". Either the Boots website has a typo there, or the Brits (Boots is a UK co.) have a funky spelling for "fascinate" I may have to buy more Boots makeup when I next journey to Target...Lakes--
More specifically..I had me a monstrously nice Saturday at Lake Sunapee this past weekend. I hadn't ever (prior to this past weekend) really hung out in the harbour area, I'd only gone to the Lake Sunapee state beach. The harbour was maaaahvelous. It made me think about how I really prefer the lakes/woods setting over the ocean/beach scene. Don't get me wrong, I do really like the ocean & beach, too. But how perfectly idyllic is a sylvan set lake..with a rustic cabin... I would LOVE that!
(New addendum to my personal ad: "must own lake house")
I was jonesin' for strawberry ice cream the other night--usually I'm a chocolate gal, but sometimes a strong yen for strawberries seizes me-- and I picked up this instead, in order to be somewhat virtuous. It's actually very yummy.and lastly...on an odd note...this news item amused me immensely..(only thru Fark would I stumble onto somethin' like that!!)
Saturday, July 12, 2008
another thing I wanna do this summer...
..is go camping. I usually average once per summer, although I didn't get to last summer. It's a pissah..I've got all this stuff I wanna do (go back to York, go camping, catch a concert. . . )and so little time to fit it in...even littler fundage to make it all happen.
Well, I hope I can get some camping in ... for just a weekend at the very least. Until I do, this terrif VT state parks site will have to tide me over...
Well, I hope I can get some camping in ... for just a weekend at the very least. Until I do, this terrif VT state parks site will have to tide me over...
WHEEEEE
I saw a sign in McD's today advertising the summer events at a ski resort somewhere. Obviously I was not reading really attentively, as I cannot now tell you which resort nor do I recall whether said forgotten resort was in VT or NH. What I do remember (this is why the sign transfixed me so) was that it featured a pic of a girl on an Alpine Slide. This got me to thinking about how I've not enjoyed an Alpine Slide since waaay back in high school (summer before junior yr when I journeyed to CO --to be precise)
Gosh, I miss the Alpine Slide.
Of course, this led to a bout of Alpine Slide themed 'net perusal. First I found out that the leading North American manufacturer of Alpine Slides is here in Vermont!! (these guys, in E Dorset)Well, that just makes me swell up with state pride (oh no, that's from the wasp stings...but truly I am proud) For some reason, I had it in my head that there was just ONE Alpine Slide. Like this definitive manufacturer that was the sole source for genuine Alpine Slide brand Alpine Slides. But that website's header "Leading North American Manufacturer!!" clearly implies that there are other North American Alpine Slide makers, and sort of hints that they're making 'em in other countries too. But this VT company has been making them since the 70s.. so it would seem they're no amateurs... So, still proud.
I wonder if it's really imperative that you be some sort of resort location in order to get one of these. I'm going to use that site's contact info and call them up. My side of the convo. would go something like: "Mmm yes. Hello... my name is Sandra and I am in need of an Alpine Slide installation at my residence. Of course. Well, you see, cost is no issue, my good man. Truly. I do pretty well... ah, let's forego the false modesty, shall we? I am ,like, OPRAH-RICH, folks. I require this slide by early June. No later than the tenth!!"
There was a surprising amount of Alpine Slide footage on YouTube. Wellll, I ought never be surprised to find something on YouTube, as there is an awful lot of everything on YouTube. What surprises me, really, is how there seems to be no safety regulations about going down the Alpine Slide one-handed, holding a camcorder. I mean, these resorts affect this semblance of concern, with all their yellow diamond-shape signs reading "SLOW!" or "Caution: Dip" and the like, but if they're letting so many of these yahoos ride and film simultaneously then probably rider safety is not all that imperative. Probably they don't care if you slide down the whole thing on your face.
Nevertheless, I'd quite like to seek out an Alpine Slide this summer.
Now behold what must be the alpiniest of all Alpine Slides. You can probably tell from the surroundings, but I'll tell ya anyways--this one's located in Zurich , Switzerland (in the ALPS) . Just lovely...
Gosh, I miss the Alpine Slide.
Of course, this led to a bout of Alpine Slide themed 'net perusal. First I found out that the leading North American manufacturer of Alpine Slides is here in Vermont!! (these guys, in E Dorset)Well, that just makes me swell up with state pride (oh no, that's from the wasp stings...but truly I am proud) For some reason, I had it in my head that there was just ONE Alpine Slide. Like this definitive manufacturer that was the sole source for genuine Alpine Slide brand Alpine Slides. But that website's header "Leading North American Manufacturer!!" clearly implies that there are other North American Alpine Slide makers, and sort of hints that they're making 'em in other countries too. But this VT company has been making them since the 70s.. so it would seem they're no amateurs... So, still proud.
I wonder if it's really imperative that you be some sort of resort location in order to get one of these. I'm going to use that site's contact info and call them up. My side of the convo. would go something like: "Mmm yes. Hello... my name is Sandra and I am in need of an Alpine Slide installation at my residence. Of course. Well, you see, cost is no issue, my good man. Truly. I do pretty well... ah, let's forego the false modesty, shall we? I am ,like, OPRAH-RICH, folks. I require this slide by early June. No later than the tenth!!"
There was a surprising amount of Alpine Slide footage on YouTube. Wellll, I ought never be surprised to find something on YouTube, as there is an awful lot of everything on YouTube. What surprises me, really, is how there seems to be no safety regulations about going down the Alpine Slide one-handed, holding a camcorder. I mean, these resorts affect this semblance of concern, with all their yellow diamond-shape signs reading "SLOW!" or "Caution: Dip" and the like, but if they're letting so many of these yahoos ride and film simultaneously then probably rider safety is not all that imperative. Probably they don't care if you slide down the whole thing on your face.
Nevertheless, I'd quite like to seek out an Alpine Slide this summer.
Now behold what must be the alpiniest of all Alpine Slides. You can probably tell from the surroundings, but I'll tell ya anyways--this one's located in Zurich , Switzerland (in the ALPS) . Just lovely...
and Saturday I made a POULTICE
Back in my TDC days I would occasionally come to work sick/sickish, & it amused me to no end to command Robin (via IM usually) to make me a poultice. I would alternate this with demands that she "fetch me an elixir!" but it was the word "poultice" that really cracked me up (yet another instance of me cracking me up, y'know...) I don't suppose many are as inordinately amused by the word "poultice" as I am.
Anyways that memory crossed my mind today when I really in real-life had to make & apply an actual POULTICE. Come to find out, poultices exist for other reasons than my hypothetical amusement. For instance, if you are helping your father move wood, and upset a whole damn metropolis of yellow jackets that was dwelling under a pallet you just hefted...well then a baking soda poultice comes in handy for your subsequent multiple stings. Those f-ers. And OF COURSE ,I instinctively went with the absolute worst course of action. Well the running was probably wise, it was the flailing and the intense wigging out that didn't help matters. One of the bastards flew right into my eye..stung me just beneath it. I have to give my Dad credit..I think if I'd witnessed someone bleat and flail and run and holler and (the pièce de résistance) drop on to the lawn and rub my face on the grass (why did having a wasp in my eye cause me to do this? I cannot recall the rationale there, nor can I make sense of it in retrospect) I woulda been hard pressed not to laugh at them. I know, I know, I'm EVIL. I mean, of course I would've had the decency to ask them "are you OKAY???" prior to succumbing to hysterics. But yeah..I woulda laughed. Probably even now, even after it's happened to me.
Anyways that memory crossed my mind today when I really in real-life had to make & apply an actual POULTICE. Come to find out, poultices exist for other reasons than my hypothetical amusement. For instance, if you are helping your father move wood, and upset a whole damn metropolis of yellow jackets that was dwelling under a pallet you just hefted...well then a baking soda poultice comes in handy for your subsequent multiple stings. Those f-ers. And OF COURSE ,I instinctively went with the absolute worst course of action. Well the running was probably wise, it was the flailing and the intense wigging out that didn't help matters. One of the bastards flew right into my eye..stung me just beneath it. I have to give my Dad credit..I think if I'd witnessed someone bleat and flail and run and holler and (the pièce de résistance) drop on to the lawn and rub my face on the grass (why did having a wasp in my eye cause me to do this? I cannot recall the rationale there, nor can I make sense of it in retrospect) I woulda been hard pressed not to laugh at them. I know, I know, I'm EVIL. I mean, of course I would've had the decency to ask them "are you OKAY???" prior to succumbing to hysterics. But yeah..I woulda laughed. Probably even now, even after it's happened to me.
Friday, July 11, 2008
work blather
The preceding Raisinet anecdote illustrates my point about how mad nice everyone I work with is. I mean, I'm always saying it (really, whenever I get the "how's the new job going?" question, it's the first thing I say!) But there we have a concrete example. There can now be no refuting my assertion.
That's why it will be hard to leave if I get this DHMC gig. (I WILL do it though...it promises more $$ and uhh, nice coworkers are terrif and all, but Raisinets ain't payin' my rent. Cash is king, babe!)
Another thing I will miss is doing my daily office-wide email. Everyday (M-F, that is) I email everyone general reminders, announcements, rattle off what meetings are on that day,& list who's out and list who's in (that's who's in from the clinical manager group-not for the whole staff) More importantly, if I'm not hellah busy that morning and I've got the time to, I will throw in a bit of trivia, or a riddle, or an impressive vocab word (I really like a word I shared last month: uxorious)
Well, heck... why don't I make with more examples (I am just boffo with the concrete examples today!!) Below, is my 7/11 email verbatim (truly-- ctrl C 'ed & ctrl V'ed direct from my "Sent" folder) I thought it might give you a smidgen of a voyeuristic thrill. Nothing on par with the ol' IM screen caps of yore, to be sure. But it's somethin', eh??
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Good morning everybody!!
Please remember that coming up on Monday 7/14, we have the first session of ABN/EBN, VT discharge training (beginning 8:30am). If you can’t make this first session, there will be another on 7/23 (starting 3 pm) and again on 7/24(8:30am). Please call me to sign up once you’ve decided on a session.
On to today’s announcements—
Who’s Out: Judy , Carol ,Paul
Who’s In: Cathy, Shawna, Bridgette, June, Sheila
Ricky is in Wilder all day for an orientation
Karen is in Brattleboro today
Today we have an LTC meeting in the small conference room from 10am-11am. There are no other conference room bookings.
As for tomorrow--
July 12th happens to be the birthday of Julius Caesar, George Washington Carver, and Bill Cosby (born in 100 BC, 1864, & 1937, respectively) So what this means is: Saturday is an excellent day to enjoy a peanut butter sandwich, with a nice Caesar salad on the side, and finish it off with a delicious Jello pudding pop. Hey, I know it doesn’t quite match the excitement of last weekend’s fireworks & revelry, but it’s a decent enough afternoon.
Well, I do hope you all have a grand weekend, whatever lunch choices you make…
Sandra Lemire
Office Specialist
VNA& Hospice of VT & NH
66 Benning St Ste 6
W Lebanon NH 03784
ph# 603-298-8399
fax#603-298-0407
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Probably it sounds silly to enjoy something so minor as doling out a daily ration o' foolishness, but I do dig it.
I wanted to buy one of these thingies (it's only 30 somethin' $$ for the exact same thing on Office Max. com..believe it or not. However, I can't locate the item at all when not logged on to our OM account. Bizarre.) I send out a mass mailing everyday. Well, I don't know how many outgoing letters officially constitute a "mass mailing" , but I send out--at the very least--20letters a day . Usually more. And I seal every envelope with 2 pcs of scotch tape. I'm surely not gonna lick that many envelopes. I have a glue stick, but that makes an awful mess. I find that on almost all letters I get in that have their envelopes sealed thusly, the letter gets glued
to the envelope and I wind up ripping the f-er.
Now it occured to me the other day, in an amusing daydream, what would be the most cost effective method for this. I mean, I must go through a roll of scotch tape a week!! That's some MIGHTY tape consumption, especially considering that I don't remember ever changing the tape in my dispenser in all the 5 yrs I was at TDC. Though then again, why would I retain such a memory?? Tape replacement is hardly compelling (even if I've been yammering on & on & on about it... really, I feel like I've written PAGES of this shit. I'm just as bored as you are!! I continue on purely for the sake of finishing up what I started.) Anyways, I thought the most affordable solution would be for me to prop open the door with our wrought iron umbrella stand-cum-doorstop and start singing piercing arias a la Snow White and mesmerize all woodland creatures in the immediate vicinity to come help me with my mailing. For sure they could lick the envelopes for me. Perhaps they could even fold and stuff. Obviously any addresses would have to be written by yours truly, but many of our orders go out in window envelopes (no addressing req'd) so a chipmunk could probably prep a good 50% of the mail without any additional assistance from me.
Ultimately,I decided to go with something slightly more expensive than the woodland creature minions route and bought one of these--
That's why it will be hard to leave if I get this DHMC gig. (I WILL do it though...it promises more $$ and uhh, nice coworkers are terrif and all, but Raisinets ain't payin' my rent. Cash is king, babe!)
Another thing I will miss is doing my daily office-wide email. Everyday (M-F, that is) I email everyone general reminders, announcements, rattle off what meetings are on that day,& list who's out and list who's in (that's who's in from the clinical manager group-not for the whole staff) More importantly, if I'm not hellah busy that morning and I've got the time to, I will throw in a bit of trivia, or a riddle, or an impressive vocab word (I really like a word I shared last month: uxorious)
Well, heck... why don't I make with more examples (I am just boffo with the concrete examples today!!) Below, is my 7/11 email verbatim (truly-- ctrl C 'ed & ctrl V'ed direct from my "Sent" folder) I thought it might give you a smidgen of a voyeuristic thrill. Nothing on par with the ol' IM screen caps of yore, to be sure. But it's somethin', eh??
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Good morning everybody!!
Please remember that coming up on Monday 7/14, we have the first session of ABN/EBN, VT discharge training (beginning 8:30am). If you can’t make this first session, there will be another on 7/23 (starting 3 pm) and again on 7/24(8:30am). Please call me to sign up once you’ve decided on a session.
On to today’s announcements—
Who’s Out: Judy , Carol ,Paul
Who’s In: Cathy, Shawna, Bridgette, June, Sheila
Ricky is in Wilder all day for an orientation
Karen is in Brattleboro today
Today we have an LTC meeting in the small conference room from 10am-11am. There are no other conference room bookings.
As for tomorrow--
July 12th happens to be the birthday of Julius Caesar, George Washington Carver, and Bill Cosby (born in 100 BC, 1864, & 1937, respectively) So what this means is: Saturday is an excellent day to enjoy a peanut butter sandwich, with a nice Caesar salad on the side, and finish it off with a delicious Jello pudding pop. Hey, I know it doesn’t quite match the excitement of last weekend’s fireworks & revelry, but it’s a decent enough afternoon.
Well, I do hope you all have a grand weekend, whatever lunch choices you make…
Sandra Lemire
Office Specialist
VNA& Hospice of VT & NH
66 Benning St Ste 6
W Lebanon NH 03784
ph# 603-298-8399
fax#603-298-0407
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Probably it sounds silly to enjoy something so minor as doling out a daily ration o' foolishness, but I do dig it.
I wanted to buy one of these thingies (it's only 30 somethin' $$ for the exact same thing on Office Max. com..believe it or not. However, I can't locate the item at all when not logged on to our OM account. Bizarre.) I send out a mass mailing everyday. Well, I don't know how many outgoing letters officially constitute a "mass mailing" , but I send out--at the very least--20letters a day . Usually more. And I seal every envelope with 2 pcs of scotch tape. I'm surely not gonna lick that many envelopes. I have a glue stick, but that makes an awful mess. I find that on almost all letters I get in that have their envelopes sealed thusly, the letter gets glued
to the envelope and I wind up ripping the f-er.
Now it occured to me the other day, in an amusing daydream, what would be the most cost effective method for this. I mean, I must go through a roll of scotch tape a week!! That's some MIGHTY tape consumption, especially considering that I don't remember ever changing the tape in my dispenser in all the 5 yrs I was at TDC. Though then again, why would I retain such a memory?? Tape replacement is hardly compelling (even if I've been yammering on & on & on about it... really, I feel like I've written PAGES of this shit. I'm just as bored as you are!! I continue on purely for the sake of finishing up what I started.) Anyways, I thought the most affordable solution would be for me to prop open the door with our wrought iron umbrella stand-cum-doorstop and start singing piercing arias a la Snow White and mesmerize all woodland creatures in the immediate vicinity to come help me with my mailing. For sure they could lick the envelopes for me. Perhaps they could even fold and stuff. Obviously any addresses would have to be written by yours truly, but many of our orders go out in window envelopes (no addressing req'd) so a chipmunk could probably prep a good 50% of the mail without any additional assistance from me.
Ultimately,I decided to go with something slightly more expensive than the woodland creature minions route and bought one of these--
Anyways, I hate to be a broken record, but it will be sad to leave this job...where I am universally adored and am able to fulfill my every office products desire...
I'm dwelling on this because I have reason to believe I might just snag this job (4th time's the charm, I 'spose) Greg told me (on the DL) that Anita (TDC HR Dept) just gave me a glowing reference this past Thurs. So, if they're bothering to check into my references, then I guess it's safe to presume they didn't write me off immediately post-interview. So I'm allowing myself a li'l swell of hope but still not "getting my hopes up." After all,they could be checking several applicants' references, right?? They probably are...
How pitiful...
My coworker Julie came upon me in the kitchen as I was desperately shaking our P.O.S. vending machine and growling “Don’t you f****ing do this to me. I need some chocolate!!” Yep, you guessed it—the Raisinets I’d just shilled out 85 cents for were caught in the dispensing springy-thingie. I really am trying to make wise food decisions, but my Lean Cuisine lunch was both miniscule and heinous and my palate required some sort of compensation. So I compromised , ‘kay? Raisinets have raisins in ‘em (it’s aFACT. File that under “ya learn somethin’ new everydamnday”) And—bonus points—these were dark chocolate raisinets. Which means I was countering the naughty excess fat & cal with BEAUCOUP ANTIOXIDANTS, baby!!
Anyways, I was shaking the hell out of said machine, resisting the urge to grab it by the top rear corners and shake it while stepping one foot into the swingy door of it because I realize that that’s how people wind up crushed under vending machines and yet I also suspect that if you escape a crushing, it is the most effective way to retrieve one’s stuck Raisinets. * Julie came in and bought Raisinets, solely for the purpose of dislodging mine, and she didn’t even want Raisinets (she afterwards bought some chips for herself) and then gave me the 2nd bag of Raisinets. Consequently, I was just beside myself with gratitude, really nauseatingly profuse about it, and in my stammerings said “Oh gosh, THANK YOU. You just made my weekend!!”
So. I ask yous-- how pathetic is my upcoming weekend that a free bag of Raisinets *made* my weekend?? And really – I got babysitting and cleaning my car on the itinerary—I was not exaggerating much.
Anyways, I was shaking the hell out of said machine, resisting the urge to grab it by the top rear corners and shake it while stepping one foot into the swingy door of it because I realize that that’s how people wind up crushed under vending machines and yet I also suspect that if you escape a crushing, it is the most effective way to retrieve one’s stuck Raisinets. * Julie came in and bought Raisinets, solely for the purpose of dislodging mine, and she didn’t even want Raisinets (she afterwards bought some chips for herself) and then gave me the 2nd bag of Raisinets. Consequently, I was just beside myself with gratitude, really nauseatingly profuse about it, and in my stammerings said “Oh gosh, THANK YOU. You just made my weekend!!”
So. I ask yous-- how pathetic is my upcoming weekend that a free bag of Raisinets *made* my weekend?? And really – I got babysitting and cleaning my car on the itinerary—I was not exaggerating much.
Monday, July 07, 2008
why's e'rybody so down on friendship,eh?
This made me chuckle... as it reminded me why I really aim to limit my reality TV intake. Y'know, occasionally, I'll happen to catch a minute of one o' these shows and it'll occur to me that 90% of reality TV is horribly cliched crapola*. I'm just pleased that some montage-meister took the time and effort to prove that hypothesis.
*of course that elite 10% is reserved for the few *classy*reality shows I do watch-- Life on the D-list, or Project Runway, for instance
Oh, and I have to share the Funny or Die poster's witty quip of a caption they posted w/ this vid-- "Alright, we get it, you don't go on reality TV to make friends. You're on Reality TV to prove what a douche/dunce/turd/fame whore you are. "
Haaaa!!
*of course that elite 10% is reserved for the few *classy*reality shows I do watch-- Life on the D-list, or Project Runway, for instance
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
Oh, and I have to share the Funny or Die poster's witty quip of a caption they posted w/ this vid-- "Alright, we get it, you don't go on reality TV to make friends. You're on Reality TV to prove what a douche/dunce/turd/fame whore you are. "
Haaaa!!
a short recap of my long weekend
If I can manage brevity. Let's go...
Friday : went with my mum & dad to buy fireworks. We bought from this friend of the family who has this big log cabin out in the wilds of Corinth VT. Totally gorgeous piece of land, but that family is wanting to sell & move to Kentucky. I do think it's a shame, but at the same time understand where they're coming from. They pay about 10X more $$ in property tax in VT. And it goes beyond taxes...the northeast is just a pricey place to live in general. Anyways I digress (fuck brevity, right?) they pick up these fireworks on the way back from KY in May and sell them when they get back home. I was suprised that in the short time we were there (1 1/2 hrs approx) they had 4 other customers pop in . I think they do big business. I mean it's not like they're on Main St...they're pretty well off the grid. It was mentioned that K drops 6 or 7 k on fireworks (though who knows if his father --who mentioned that--can be trusted for accurate info). I wonder what kind of profit he makes. He *must* make a profit. You don't spend that much on fireworks just because you're SUCH a Yankee Doodle Dandy.
Oh, Friday night we were going to get lobsters because Price Chopper had this sign out advertising "$6.99 per lb lobsters!!" But it was just a clever ruse-- their gargantuan 20 pounders were $6.99 per lb. but the normal lobsters were $9. per lb. I proposed getting tilapia instead. I dig tilapia, but had never cooked it. I scrounged up a recipe for Tilapia al Ajillo, which mainly appealed to me because it was not overly encrusted. I mean, I've had breaded tilapia and parmesan crusted tilapia before and enjoyed it, but I wanted a light summery meal. And tilapia is such a light fish...I didn't wanna overwhelm it, y'know. That recipe seemed ridiculously simple, and I didn't even have the fresh lemon (or even a little plastic squeezie lemon of lemon juice) it calls for. I thought it was going to come out very blandly. But it was MUY MUCHO DELICIOSO! I hate to brag but.. I cooked the shit out of that fish!! And I adlibbed a tomato-basil vinagrette-mozzarella salad.
After dinner we went to my cousin's casa for a bonfire.
Saturday-- Fourth of July party @ my sister's house. I made a tortellini salad (with grape tomatoes...forgetting entirely that tomatoes are making people nationwide..uhhhh.. projectile vomit? break out in hives? I'm not sure. Obviously I'm only 1/2 paying attention to the news. But I am aware --even if I temporarily forgot-- that people these days are afraid of tomatoes for some reason or another and it's not that Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie either.*) and monkey cereal bars.
We set off the fireworks shortly after 9. There was a group of spectators sitting on this hill, then a gap of about 4 or 5 feet, and then a row of chairs at the edge of the driveway (I was in the row, approx in the middle) One of the fireworks (in the grand finale, as it happens) tipped over after being lit and shot right into the crowd. It zwoooshed through (that's right..it zwooshed) the gap between the 2 crowd sections at a height of about 6 ft. A very dramatic finish (unintentionally so...I think) to a mediocre fireworks show. We were all pretty spry sitting there in the row, but I think I mighta set the landspeed record for springing out of a camp chair. We were all in hysterics for a while...and by "in hysterics" I mean laughing, which is probably a good indication that we all had considerable buzzes goin'. Although, I don't think my cousin's wife Vicki was laughing all that much. Her hair got singed. Just a smidgen singed. They left shortly thereafter, ostensibly to put their kids to bed, but it woulda been understandable if V was fleeing in fear of further (more serious) personal injury.
Sunday-- went to Keene (there dwells my nearest Target...oh how I love thee ..not to mention a swell Borders in the very same plaza) spent $$ that I shouldn't have.
*longest parenthetical note ever? You decide!!
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
work blather
Seems indelicate to shift suddenly back to trivialities, but that is my specialty, so heeeere we go..
I use this thing (the 30526 model) daily at work and have grown inordinately fond of it. It's practically become like Milton's stapler to me, y'know? I can't believe that , in all my years of cubicle dwelling I've never come across an A>Z sorter such as this. Such a simple little dealie but so very handy!
Ah yes, I did have my interview at DHMC. I felt like it went quite well . I was feeling good coming outta there, thinking it went quite well as previously opined...but then I was reconsidering in the car and.. this is my FOURTH interview at DHMC. I'd thought they ALL went well. Ultimately I was vetoed for 2 of those jobs (and I still have one stuck in limbo...turns out that dept was slapped with a sudden hiring freeze due to budgetary constraints) In fact there was only one interview I came out of with a resounding sense of--"well I botched that one in good shape!!" I had strep , but went to the interview just the same, feeling drained and lousy, and I thought I stammered stupidly through the whole thing. Afterwards, I had to listen to Robin excitedly gush about how she had a really good feeling about the interview she just had that day (which was with DHMC Radiology...which she ultimately got) and I was very bitter about it. Well, as it happens, that lousy failure of an interview was with the VNA . So either the applicant pool vying for my present job was utterly AWFUL ('tis possible) or my perception of how I come across is really skewed (quite possible)
One question they asked Tuesday that invariably trips me up: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Perhaps interviewers can smell that that is my Achilles heel question, because they NEVER fail to ask me that.
What I answered: I said, (paraphrasing here)"To tell the truth, I don't know. I got a degree based on what my strengths are, but I didn't have a career in mind and I'm still trying to find my niche in life. And times are such that...I think it's hard for anyone to have a five year plan. I barely have a next week plan" Which, reading a paraphrased transcript, well it doesn't sound too awful, but to be accurate,I should also note that there was a good deal of nervous laughter interposed in there somewheres and I nervously kept saying "to be honest" and "truthfully" and "really" Consequently the interviewers response to aforesaid schpiel was basically just said she appreciated my candor. Oy vey. That's never good!! (otherwise I thought it went swimmingly)
In my fantasy job interview this is how I would answer "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
{puts fingertips on temples and squishes eyes shut, as if in clairvoyant trance} On July 2nd, 2013, I will be in Kmart. I go there to buy Diet Coke, but their price on the 24 packs isn't all that great. I wind up buying a magenta plastic flyswatter, InStyle magazine, and a box of Chicken-in-a-Biscuit crackers.
I use this thing (the 30526 model) daily at work and have grown inordinately fond of it. It's practically become like Milton's stapler to me, y'know? I can't believe that , in all my years of cubicle dwelling I've never come across an A>Z sorter such as this. Such a simple little dealie but so very handy!
Ah yes, I did have my interview at DHMC. I felt like it went quite well . I was feeling good coming outta there, thinking it went quite well as previously opined...but then I was reconsidering in the car and.. this is my FOURTH interview at DHMC. I'd thought they ALL went well. Ultimately I was vetoed for 2 of those jobs (and I still have one stuck in limbo...turns out that dept was slapped with a sudden hiring freeze due to budgetary constraints) In fact there was only one interview I came out of with a resounding sense of--"well I botched that one in good shape!!" I had strep , but went to the interview just the same, feeling drained and lousy, and I thought I stammered stupidly through the whole thing. Afterwards, I had to listen to Robin excitedly gush about how she had a really good feeling about the interview she just had that day (which was with DHMC Radiology...which she ultimately got) and I was very bitter about it. Well, as it happens, that lousy failure of an interview was with the VNA . So either the applicant pool vying for my present job was utterly AWFUL ('tis possible) or my perception of how I come across is really skewed (quite possible)
One question they asked Tuesday that invariably trips me up: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Perhaps interviewers can smell that that is my Achilles heel question, because they NEVER fail to ask me that.
What I answered: I said, (paraphrasing here)"To tell the truth, I don't know. I got a degree based on what my strengths are, but I didn't have a career in mind and I'm still trying to find my niche in life. And times are such that...I think it's hard for anyone to have a five year plan. I barely have a next week plan" Which, reading a paraphrased transcript, well it doesn't sound too awful, but to be accurate,I should also note that there was a good deal of nervous laughter interposed in there somewheres and I nervously kept saying "to be honest" and "truthfully" and "really" Consequently the interviewers response to aforesaid schpiel was basically just said she appreciated my candor. Oy vey. That's never good!! (otherwise I thought it went swimmingly)
In my fantasy job interview this is how I would answer "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
{puts fingertips on temples and squishes eyes shut, as if in clairvoyant trance} On July 2nd, 2013, I will be in Kmart. I go there to buy Diet Coke, but their price on the 24 packs isn't all that great. I wind up buying a magenta plastic flyswatter, InStyle magazine, and a box of Chicken-in-a-Biscuit crackers.
Sick & Evil
Perhaps you've read something about the Amber Alert case that's been all over the news in VT, well I should say EX-Amber Alert. Tragically, the alert was called off today (latest news here).
Y'know I have always felt so safe in VT. Well never entirely safe, I can only say relatively safe. Then a story comes along like this and reminds you that you really can't presume safety anywhere. I suppose VT does have a smaller population of psychotics and sick fucks, but it's probably just in relation to it being of smaller area, hence smaller general populace. But we still have our allotment. Cases like this one make that shockingly obvious.
Now it's not only that this news eroded some misconception I had of VT as some bucolic safe haven, but it's also stunning in that I actually worked with this Mike Jacques creep. Well, I don't want to overstate things, I didn't really have any dealings with the guy, he was in another dept, waaay in another wing of the building and I rarely saw the guy. This was at Thermal Dynamics, I should probably clarify. My bro-in-law, Greg, is operations manager at Thermal and he does work closely with Jacques ("did", rather...undoubtedly Jacques has been fired). He had gone on business trips with the guy, in fact, was slated to travel to Kentucky with him this month. He (Greg) said the whole thing makes him sick. I can understand .. probably they held many a conference in Greg's office --which is plastered with all these pictures of his kids. That queasiness is damned understandable.
Y'know I have always felt so safe in VT. Well never entirely safe, I can only say relatively safe. Then a story comes along like this and reminds you that you really can't presume safety anywhere. I suppose VT does have a smaller population of psychotics and sick fucks, but it's probably just in relation to it being of smaller area, hence smaller general populace. But we still have our allotment. Cases like this one make that shockingly obvious.
Now it's not only that this news eroded some misconception I had of VT as some bucolic safe haven, but it's also stunning in that I actually worked with this Mike Jacques creep. Well, I don't want to overstate things, I didn't really have any dealings with the guy, he was in another dept, waaay in another wing of the building and I rarely saw the guy. This was at Thermal Dynamics, I should probably clarify. My bro-in-law, Greg, is operations manager at Thermal and he does work closely with Jacques ("did", rather...undoubtedly Jacques has been fired). He had gone on business trips with the guy, in fact, was slated to travel to Kentucky with him this month. He (Greg) said the whole thing makes him sick. I can understand .. probably they held many a conference in Greg's office --which is plastered with all these pictures of his kids. That queasiness is damned understandable.
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